Give me 2 years to be good again,
2 years to build myself,
2 years to love myself,
2 years to completely heal myself,
2 years to be found again,
2 years to be open to anything,
2 years of patience and rest,
2 years of no peer pressure,
2 years to be me again,
see you in 2 years...

I can´t wait
for the hurt
to finally go away,
waiting for the day,
that i´d wake up without
thinking about you,
without thinking about the day you left me
without any explanation

When that day comes,
I´d celebrate & say
I will never let
anyone in,
Becaus you caused me dirt,
hurt,
you did a number on my health,
You diminished my confidence
My self love,
My life purpose,
My importance wandered away.

But when my pain goes away,
I´ll be stronger than ever,
I´ll be focussing on me,
I won´t let anyone in,
Will not chase anyone
My life will be priority,
Because I´m done with loving too much
caring too much,
for someone, that wouldn´t love back
or do the same

When that day comes,
I´ll rise

When you´ve never been the chosen one in younger years,
And you still aren´t the chosen one in adult years,
It feels like a lifelong grief
That´ll never end...

I´m smiling,
But my heart is burning,
I´m trying to keep it up,
But my thoughts are killing,
I know my worth,
But my worth is on hold,
I´m seeing my friends,
But I´m absent,
All I want to do is cry,
But I´m holding my tears

I´m crying over air,
I´m sad over a worthless stone,
I´m on the floor,
due to a careless stranger

I´m lost,
I´m lost, while the opposite is adjusting fast
I´m the one that lost,
Because the ones that care,
Are always the losers in the end
And the careless survive the longest

I´m locked,
gone,
vanished,
What love can do to you,
Is even stronger than humanity.

I´ll get so hurt inside,
When I don´t know what I´m doing,
I´ll be so focussed on one person,
One person I want to love.

When I meet the person,
He shows me love,
But when we don´t see eachother,
The fire reaches to my soul.

Why isn´t the love as pure as it is in reality,
Why can´t u show me the same love,
Our love is being questionned,
Because you don´t know how to stay.

You love the moment,
But you love to live your life too,
You love the taste of every bit of life,
You´ll grab it and throw it easily away.

I´m holding my heart,
After 1 million attemps for love
I´m trying to survive the pain again,
Trying to live again,
This shouldn´t have happenned if it would not last,
I´m in a black hole,
And do not want to get out of it.

Every time,
A little piece of  this,
A little piece of that,
get's closer to ****** me,
to take over my mind.
Every time,
I believe in this drug,
that walks straigt to my mind,
To fill me up with poison.
You twist me,
Shake me,
Break me.
Until the end comes near,
And all these happy tears,
slightly dissappear.
They won't change my life,
I'm happier living without this fire.

They keep talking like they’ve been taught to do
They’ll keep laughing,
Nobody sees the real soul,
We all keep living in this big fake air balloon,
We all just looking around us,
Cause the world is the one we can trust on,
No we have no choice,
We’re just living it like there’s nothing wrong
We all keep living in this big fake air balloon.

Seeing the crowd,
I can’t talk I can’t move,
Cause they’ll wait for the
Special part,
So they can look at eachother
And talk afterwards,

If you aren’t acting the same way
They will dump you like a getaway
They ask me why am I this closed,
Why am I afraid to complety be myself,

I’ll anwser what if I’m different,
If I won’t fit in the crowd,
I’d completly be isolated from the world,
People will look at you with a different eye,
They will see you like a dismissed colour,
Talk about you with great honor,

I like my imperfections,
I like being different,
I like living my own space,
But they won’t
I’d rather keep it to myself,
Than destroying myself in public

I’m admiring this life,
but I’m falling behind,
little hopes, from every corner,
numbness attacking, whatever I’m doing,
dreams are crumbled, strolling down the the hill,
I’m trying to become, but life got me so sick,
there is no end, when I’m facing these tricks,
pushing, fighting, screaming, just to stay high,
but why, can’t I be happy for this time,
I don’t have abilities, priorities,
Too messed up to build up a career,
thankyou for sending me this fear,
still I need to fight,
so I can say that I’ve tried….

I´m glad i´ve experienced heartbreak
because it made me realize,
I´d rather stay alone for years,
Then staying, begging and praying
for the wrong person.
Leaving a scar on me,
every time,
and every time the scar gets bigger,
because I always kept on going.
But now I´ll keep on going alone
until that person is going to stay with me
Forever

Theres so much possible with love
but theres only room for one
youll choose one person
the rest of your life
It could be anyone
But will you make the right choice?

I´m feeling lonely,
But why are u so clingy,
I am feeling unwanted,
But why are u complimenting,
Nobody wants me,
But why are u flirting,
I´m feeling ugly,
But why do u call me beautiful,
A hundreds of people can call me beautiful,
But being unwanted from that one person can harm deeply,
It´s unlogical, but its overpowering.

I have to admit,
I want you,
I want you so bad,
I want your positive energy
You´re strenghts,
Your kindness,
Your selflessness,
Your ambition,
Your passion,
I want to look into your blue eyes,
Hold onto your strong arms,
I´ve never been so sure about wanting something,
Do you feel the same way,
Do you want me like I want you,
I have to know..

No matter who much it hurts,
I'll never give up,
How many times it happened,
I won't lose,
How many stakes in the heart,
I'll keep on fighting,
Until me last breath

When potential is big,
When love is big,
When a message is big,
No one can stop me.

I stopped believing in love,
Cause they always wanted the pretty girl,
The superior image of the good-looking pearl.

I will never understand that,
Cause my perspective of beauty is far from that.
I keep thinking, what is wrong with me,
I don’t have to look like them to be a thing,
I don’t want to change my looks to be approachable.

I like spending my time on my inner beauty,
I don’t need paintings and **** clothes to be pretty.
I actually like myself, the way I look, the way I present myself.
So I’m sorry if she look’s prettier in your eyes,
The whole image of her stuck in your twisted mind.
I guess it’s your loss that you never gave it a chance to get to know me.

Oh hello there love,
there you are again.
bothering my peaceful mind,
looking for trouble,
to let me fall in line.

Do I like it that way?
or not?
Am satisfied..
Cause it is playful
twisting,
turning my world
upside down.

Every time we tell ourselves,
I don´t need love,
love is pain,
love is poison..

But everytime i get myself into it,
the same song
same words
same feeling.
I´m attracted to love
I want to feel love
don´t we all ?

I can completely mess this up again,
And lock myself up,
from anyone that is getting one step closer.
But I can also let it all in,
and finally give in to someone.
Let go of my fear,
my fear of falling,
being hurt,
unwanted..

This time I´m strong enough to be,
Time´s there to open up,
instead of giving up.
You might be my victory,
my first achievement,
and this time I´m letting go
Cause I´m ready.

It was either you or no one,
When i took the risk,
When i made it clear I wanted it to be you,

It was either you or no one,
When you marked the list,
And you made me feel like a 100 flattering roses

And I wanted it to be you,
But the universe said we werent meant,
And I had to continue to flow alone

I´m feeling broken,
Because I stopped receiving love,
I´m feeling empty,
Because I never got the love I wanted,
I stopped trying,
Cause they never stoppped pretending,
I used to love love,
But now I gave up.

Focus,

Focus on what you can control,
Focus on your motives,
Focus on what you want,
Focus on who you want to be,
Focus on your passion,
Focus on your capabilities,
Focus on your qualities,
Life is too short to be sad,
Life it too short to cry,
Life is too short to worry,
Life is too short to overthink,
Focus on your lifelong possibilities

My mother tells me,
how can you care so deeply,
for someone that has moved on so quickly,

My mother tells me,
How can you lose your worth,
Over someone that has never seen your beauty?

My mother tells me,
How could u ruin your life?
Over somebody that hurt u intentionally?

My mother tells me.
How could u waste your time,
While that somebody is living his life properly,

My mother tells me,
How can u hate yourself so much,
To hurt yourself with thoughts about someone that left you so easily,

Your beauty,
Your capacity.
Your big heart,
Your love,

Use all of these qualities
To help other people,
To make people smile,
To shine,
To spread a nice message,
Make a change.

Invest your beauty into something that is worth your beauty<3

What do we do,
when we no longer have control,
no longer can say,
do,
or change a thing
about a situation.
We just have to accept it,
as painful as it is.
We need to learn to live with it...

Oh dear heart,
Tell me why do you get excited,
When nothing lasts,
Why do u want me to let anything in,
If it´ll only cause me hurt,
Why do you cheer for someone,
If you know there´ll be an end
It´s lovely when the heart craves something,
But terrible when that doesn´t last

I´m obsessed with you,
Obsessed with the toxicity
Obsessed with you leaving me
Obsessed with the unknown

I´m obsessed with the dreams about you
The scenario´s i´m creating in my head
Obsessed with the urge to talk to you
Obsessed with the desire to see you.

I´m into you and I always wanted you,
You cutting me off, made me even want you more,
And I´m obsessed with all of you.

I´m obsessed with your dominance,
I´m obsessed with how you know what you want,
I´m obsessed with the way you flirt,
The way you have your life put together.

Will this obsession ever be over?
It´s a question for me
And a uknown mystery for you...

Only god can validate me,
Only god knows what I am going through,
Only god knows how bad it hurts,
Only god knows what i´ve been dealing with,
Only god knows what my weaknesses are,
And he is the only one who´ll keep me going
No one else matters,

They say, words hurt the most.
Is it?
Actions can even hurt more,
Seeing somebody dancing with someone else,
Seeing everybody together while u are alone,
Seeing the cold hard truth, that nobody´s calling u
Seeing all the love that is given, but not to you,
Seeing ur dreams crumble into pieces,
What does a word even mean,
If all these actions show you the cold hard truth,
Words can be a lie, an act of insecurity,
But actions,
They´ll let you crumble.

All i wanted was  love,
To love and to be loved by someone,
To hold you´re hand,
To feel secured,
But I have these questions,
They are laid in my mind,
They lay on my mind,
These questions.

I know i´ve been struggling with love
And I know that I ́m aching due to love,
I don ́t know why im in pain, i´m with questions
Why am I feeling this pain and having these questions

It is so unfair,
That I´m left with this pain
After hope for a gain,
A new life ahead,
A new breeze in the air,
A cushion to spare,
But I´m left in despair.
Left with all of these questions.

Now that I feel I cannot take you´re hand,
My heart has failed, there´s nothing ahead.
I opened for once and left the door wide open,
I opened for you, but you slightly shut the door.
And I am left with all these questions.

My dear heart wants to love so badly,
But all of these new signals are so scary,
Screaming for endless love,
The one you could never have enough.

What is wrong with me?

What makes you leave?

Why am I getting rejected every time.

All these times I opened my heart for the purest kind of love.

And then, off they go.

Is it really me or are they offended by my potential….

I get crazy when I open myself up to someone new
The unknown
Insecurity
Trial
Waiting
Days and Days
Hours passing by
Is he what I pictured in my mind,
But when it doesn’t align
I get stuck
I wanna get out of this new event
But I can’t

It feels like stake in the heart,
They won´t know how it felt,
They don´t know how it feels,
To play with a heart,
They don´t know the twisted feeling,
They don´t know it messes u up.

Be careful before you enter someone´s heart
Some of can feel really deeply,
And we don´t want to mess with that.
So feel free and stay away,
If u were never sure in the first place.

It´s such a shame
that u were interested in the first place
I´ts such a shame that u gave me these signals
I´ts such a shame that u saw me the first time
It´s such a shame that u gave me your number
I´ts such a shame that it was all for nothing
Such a shame that u never texted me,
Such a shame that it never had a meaning,
Now I´m left with insecurity and a hopeless mind.

What if u are tired of hoping
Tired of your desires
Tired of trying
Tired of being excited
Tired of liking someone
Tired of waiting
Tired of empty promises
Tired of looking for someone special
Tired of going after your heart
I got so tired
I stopped believing in real love

What failure can do with your mind,
And all u wanted to do was to love...

I will never be wanted,
Whatever I do,
Whatever I achieve,
How I look,
I´ll never be loved the way I want te be loved.
The way I deserve to be loved.

It hurts so much,
When u know
U have so much to give,
To offer,
Your heart is so bright,
and open,
Your heart listens,
Loves,
and cares,

But you´ll never be wanted...

What am I searching for,
A lovelife with a love that doesn´t even exist,
I´ve been looking everywhere,
What is it that people will always hold back,
Am I the only one that wants that special connection,
That one of a kind satisfaction,
Someone to hold, to lean on,
to share with, cry with, strive with and grow with,
Where´s that selfless love,
People seem so shallow,
And I can´t get on with it anymore,
When u are someone with so much love to give,
U are afraid to choose the wrong person,
But when you´re sure,
you´ll stick till the end, and grow pure gold.

Can´t help thinking about what we could be
I will always think about the opportunity
Possibility that we could have been a thing,
You and I together
Creating magical moments,
You and me against the world,
You proving me wrong,
That I ain't less,
That I am someone,
That I am special,
But that didn't happen..

Dear self,

I can lose myself,
But I´ll never lose my worth
I can be drown in an dark ocean,
But I´ll never lose my dignity
I can waste a lot of time
But I´ll never stop the clock
I can break my heart,
But it´ll always be great
I can make the wrong choices
But I won´t lose my voices
Life is right & left
Up & down
Glad & sad
Good & bad
Any other way
I will never ever lose my worth

I´d rather die alone, than settle for less...

I literally cried over a person,
Who was so insecure about himself,
I created images in my head,
That didn´t even exist,
I found him perfect,
While he wasn´t perfect,
I lowered myself,
While, I am as worthy as him,
I wandered in my own troubles,
While he had his,
I disowned from my capabilities,
While he wasn´t capable himself