As a whole, that sweet, tender, sentiment of existence
That floundering feel lingering in the air spreading like a virus
It resides within myself
I am contaminated - the unique victim
Because everyone else is immune

As I walked through the meadow
Beneath the overcast sky, so mellow
Soft frozen tufts of glistening silver
Fell from the ceiling

As the heaven poured its sorrow
And sowed their chilled tears
It nourished the barren grassland
The icy blanket caught my eye

I walked through the meadow
Leaving imprints on the carpet
The trail was concealed
In the rainfall of ice shards

But for the remainder of its existence
It still showed signs of life

A shimmering void
Hazed my view

Unbeknownst to me
As I walked the staircase
I looked back
Only to be greeted by smiles

"I shall return" I said
And closed the book

Speckles of dust dwindle in front of me
An artificial fog flourishing,
adrift, afloat
Leaves dance around my feet
It is dusk, it is dawn
Blurred eyes cannot tell time

Forces of nature gather underneath my body
Hunched over headfirst
I wail - caught by nature's grasp
Stinging thorns
It is close, it is far
The fog obscuring my path

The ground collapses into a boiling stream
Pulls me to the ground (pulls me downwards)
I question the ever moving stream of water
Reaching for the nearest stone
It is true, it is false
Dead men cannot speak

Drowned men do not tell a tale
But beyond the grave that lies
At the end of the path

If I recall the last time
When the sun would shine through the night
The birds fly and clutter the sky
I would've thought that amidst the elation
I would've grasped sooner

Despite the nightfall I would gander
Amidst the abyss I would find
Silver drips in abundance
In fullest splendour

I briefly glance amongst the midnight dance
The radiance of a symphony in C major plays
The silver bows that weep no more
In its eternal hysteria, in its final mystery
I found my angel and never let go

The claws imbued their pointy fingers in my chest
Lingering agony as it did not soften
As I attempted to defy the abomination
A figment I realised
In front of me

I wince and whimper but moans so mellow
Are not heard on the surface
Are not heard by the ears of man

Fragments spread as the glass shatters
As the reflection and I turn to dust
Yet the claws remained stoic in its grasp
A figment I realised
In front of me

I yield as I pour out my soul in front of them
Its transparent body is tainted and distorted
It is stained in dark crimson around the neck

These claws have lunged at my throat for ages
I merely embraced them as an old friend

Dim screens turn into
Bright supernovas gazing
At your mere presence

When I floundered I
Got taken by mere fingers
To a new resort

Though hurt lingers and
Pain corrupts the somber air
I always belong

And maybe, I have
After that darkness within
Some radiance spared

Faded lights trace the visage
In fateful slumber on their grave
Invalidation, desecration
Barren raindrops on the concave
Surface of the hollow cask

These bludgeoned faces know no mercy
Have defied and defiled entities
The sacred deity in eternity
And find their eternal rest

And thus spoke the wingweaver
Who descended from beyond
Decayed faces, deteriorating
A putrid stench from their mouth

And through plague smeared teeth
He hissed to humanity
Beyond his barren grave

The promise of romance
Lingers through an eternal dance
A childhood adventure unfolded
Embroidered with the hope of happiness
Exiling the remains of sadness
With the passion of love
As fireflies flourish like fireworks
In the marine ocean that is the sky

Beyond the cracked wall light seeps through

Casting holes on the ground in the shadow

Its hollow mouth is walled off with woods from the meadow

And despite the workers pleas and efforts to remove it

The wall persisted in destruction

But cast the light on the flowers beyond the rock veil

Grotesque images flow in when the lids close, enthralling the shadows that remained within.
One, two, three, four, five, six
Seven
Moons and suns pass by, obscured by a dynamic canvas
A chamber building pressure, blurring the view.
Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen
Counting down until it all collapses

The canvas calls its name in an intricating cadence, echoing the chambers, a recital of ages
Pixel, pixel, pixel, pixel, pixel, pixel
Pixels
Keep me rooted on my seat, an innate adhesive
Excite the hollow gates, its luminosity alluring glaringly
Sixteen, fifteen, fourteen, thirteen
It lingers ever so slightly, writing stories for itself

The gates open and a barrage floods the canvas at intervals, concealing the world in
Pixel, pixel, pixel, pixel, pixel, pixel
Pixels
Unified bundles of sparks intertwining its fabric
Devious phrases echo through the chambers
Twelve, eleven, ten, nine
It merely arranges sounds and patterns

Frigid words never sounded so sultry when inverted sockets run their currents
Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip
Drip
A drizzle ripples the surface, soothing waves of ripples
Transition into a homogenic mass
Eight, seven, six, five
Embodiment of serenity breeds emptiness

Eschew the howling hollow chambers is like vitriol to creativity
Four, three, two, one
****** me before the end of time, empty chamber
Before invective reasoning clouds your idyll
The blackened canvas
It bleeds

The past lurked over my shoulder
And stuck its claws in me
But a flower as bright as the sun
Took my hand and set me free

Birds seated themself nether
It spoke in intricate patterns
And intertwined around me
Collecting mellow droplets in its beak

The haven where fragments and shards
Once shattered form together
It is where I always wanted to be
Yes, it is where I always wanted to be

Of many broken words
I sat in secretion
Amongst the remnants of my very soul
Pouring my heart in the sand

Tiny critters scatter on the surface
Like a colony of ants
For inspiration is many
Yet execution lacks

Opal machinations barring

the primitives
                             magenta and
                             yellow

I stray through the hallway of
           lapis, the ocean's abyss

Endless wandering beneath
The sky where no woolen cloud resides

A colour reserved
          the calm, unheard

In the frigid times, it flounders as many
          it
               calms
                           me

A single lit torch standing amongst the stacks of a lonely crowd.

It was the only survivor of the rainfal that swept its peers.

Embers flying around sporadically, ever so lively, it longs to be lit again.

But the fire never came.

How does one douse itself with ease, I wonder.

Open your heart to a fairy tale untold
Of a man whose path was ridden with ice and cold

His daunting journey lasted for a while
Looking up projecting a luscious smile

Pristine drips of crimson red in liquid emulsion
Was tended and spread in pure repulsion

A hingeless contortion, amongst cruel distortion
A spiritless effigy brimming with emotion

Standing amongst the colourless plates
The sound of devotion resonates

Wearing a mask in pride, containing a brittle smile

He approached the husk before it turned to dust
It danced in the wind once more

Fruits of the brain rolling over the slabs
The wooden casket of my dreams
It is my haven that protects me from death
And ever so stoic in the ground it stands
It will never budge for it retracts the light

But the warmth it contains
On this barren tract of land
In all its chaos in its branding
For the comfort it holds
And the truth it confronts

Protect me

If I were different
Would the sky shelter me
Would the clouds
Cover my head

If I were different
Would nature accept me
Would it nurture me
A thorny embrace

Thoughts cascading
Internally
And I wish that
Hopefully

If I were different
Would you still love me?

A brief gander out of the window sills
The dim candlelight flickers ever so vividly and lingers through
The fire awakens and its children, embers of the future withdraw
They take off and flow with the midwinter breeze

Amongst the ample tracts of land, amongst the foggy scenery of ice and snow
The amber extract of lightwaves pierce through the nocturnal blanket
The lilac sky merging with the cinnabar, umber and indigo
The soldiers, clad as such, marching through the grassland

And thus spoke the soldiers
Embedded in the gloom, marching through the dusty carpet
Consolidating rigid blocks amass
Caressing the cold, serene scenery in all its idyll

The sparkles dwindle at dusk
A solemn encounter between life and death - the soldiers collect them all
Many sparkles accumulate and dissipate when heaven takes in their children
Flourishing in tufts that lit the charcoal sky, a glistening canvas

I found myself amidst the elation, as I gazed amongst the starry abyss
The future stared back and smiled as I found myself frozen in time
The timeless idyll is ever so frightful, but a bliss as it fills my locket
Moonlight pass, timescape halts, landscape falls, shadows conquer

Time is ever so vague when the silver arises
The mirror of the soul, the children of the dim candlelights
They flicker ever so lively into eternity
They flicker and return home.

I stumbled through the cold dark streets, the wind caressing
My bare, blue skin.
I am exhausted, barely standing as the ****** is near.
I kneel before a riveting sight - the gleams of the dim moonlight
Cast its rays upon a bed of flowers.
The pallid petals brush my skin as I gasp for air.

It is frozen.

A symphony plays - my final chords
The songs of the angels of oblivion
As they sing in unison
Their unspoken words.
The haunting melody of a soprano chills my fractured spine.

My head hurts.

In this artificial world of selfish habits.
Her intentions were laid bare.
Stinging sensations linger as she laid her eggs in my head.

Merely an empty shell of her former self
She cut the roots that held her in place.
Desperate struggles,
Unanswered screaming,
Crawling her way towards me.

This was merely a realm I created,
An illusion I cast as the rose-tinted vision turned grey.
There is no light where the sun never existed.

The eggs hatch as I lay writhing in pain
The once vivid flowerbed drowning in blood and tears
As a monster laid motionless in front of me.
Where the moonlight once cast its light on but a barren field.

It is inside of me.

Do they create a melody?
Such monotony in the duplicates of delirium
A charade that tainted the soul of creators,
As many they inspired;
Blissfully they clasped the canvas,
Embracing traces of putrid ink stains.
Covering with scarlet paint amongst the burnt umber,
Repressing sentiments of enamorment,
Fingers clamped, quill in hand.

The master found itself overwhelmed
By the cacophony of brush strokes.
Deafening tones puncturing, the bespoke rhythms of droplets
Desecrating the workplace.

A heavy haven, hove from heaven,
Fragments of brittle stories
In its somber glory;
Teetered, tattered rags, rig the template
Spread out in callous allegory.
Amongst gardens of ebony, ivory, mahony
The sonorous cask speaking in gibberish atony.

Do they play that lustrous sound?
Review the mouth of the cunning vertebrae,
The effigies of landscapes.

Abstractions of words clad the canvas
In amorphous blobs, strung strings
Of thin inked lines piled amongst the bars.
A quintuplet of harmony barring noise
The resonance of the feather carressing the leaves.

So forth, the master drew his last stroke
The composer's œuvre of bleeding, soundless words
The chords of compromise between creasing,
Heaping canvases,
On hope of the sleeping crowds
To reverberate its symphony once more.

As she stood in front of me
Wearing a coat of bright fur

Those wandering eyes
Trace the contour of my body
Two emerald marbles rolling over the impurities of my skin
But what are they looking at?

Those wandering eyes
Look at me in confusion
In confusion about the mystery they hold in mind
But what do they see?

Those wandering eyes
Are they the same?
In a split second they altered
Are they the same?

Those wandering eyes
Look for help they never wanted to ask

And the king spoke
What is strength on a palace so frail
They barely hold our weight as they sigh
And creak like the crows on a summer night

Yet, through the blight they stand amongst us
In everlasting glory

Because in its rotten core it but tells us their story
And we keep them intact

What is fear when it breaks easier
Than the studs we have stood upon
For an eternity?

I faced the bunnies of the apocalypse.

Their glare - ever so piercing,
             intruding,
                         alluring.

In purity, ceasing discontinuity,
the emotions so effervescent
Borderline present
in despair, the infernal chase

In a hellbent daze I secluded myself
From the vertigo of suicide, I was in a dazzle
The warmth of despair enveloping me
In golden hue.

Eerily
                        creeping
                   ­                          near
                                                     in
                                                       obscurity,

The effulgence of the universe darkened
my eyes.

The spinning epitome, ever so frightening
Enlightening, it drew
near.

The ambient visions speak       -       the devil sleeps
I stood amongst the burnt umber
in my heart.

The putrid dirt stains, the chocolate emulsion
Gagging me in repulsion, in absurdity of thee
The abominations dominate all

of my intention.

I took a gander to the sky
The indigo and pallid lilac lights
Indulged in my resting place
Concluding my days, I was imbued

Lush and vivid strands of white
Pierced valiantly through my view
The solemn celestial light
The forgotten lights renew

Frigid hands reached out to me
They left me there, in perturbation
Of many mysteries I ceased to see
The enigma of animation

Reminiscence of a jagged pass
That split and converged
The contorted trails amass
At its beacons they emerged

In a symphony of light
It descended
In.
Pure.
White.
Fervent ascension
Beacon of the night,
Praise be with thee, demon.

An angel descended from heaven today
It carried the key to my heart
The blessed remnants of love to sway
The notion that hailed their depart

Of many caresses that stroked my soul
The mirror that reflects my own parole
I rest there in trance
Embracing their dance
Alas, I perished to their words

An abrupt realisation unfolded
As I found myself dropping to the surface, embedded in crimson hue
The darkness flooded the gates I forgot they existed
The numbness never recollected my will
Alas, I dropped into their world

An angel clad in crimson rags
Obsidian tattered wings grasp
A gaze so sharp pierced my skull
Deceitful
Mourning on my plagued remains,
Lying
On a scaffold of birch

For I wished to see the light
For I descended once more

Praise be with thee, demon.

Satisfaction lingers
The inherent bliss that warms
The buried fears that flounder,
The abolishment of qualms

The radiant glow materialises
Substantiating to a path
Hop onto the luminescence
Guiding you to your guard

I am a container

A crystalline beaker fills me to the brim
With affection in a golden hue
The amber nectar seeping in abundance

As a tap leeches my soul, my mere essence sways
As I bleed and stand on crystal shards

An empty vessel yields no spirit
From the empty barrel that remains
For a heart devoid of soul would not
Display nor muster

I am the light that dissipates
Yet the darkness brought me back
It does not leave me alone
Why does it clamp itself to my back

Get it off
Get it off me
GET.    IT.    OFF.    ME!

It does not leave me alone
It does not               leave me        alone
It does not        leave        me alone
It        does not leave        me        alone



It
         does
                        not
                                ­    leave















                                        ­                                                         *It doesn't...

Needles sting my pulsing heart
An inner bond, unbroken
Wisps of yarn, tufts of string
Cover my hand

Creases, torn and broken skin
A trail of pain, an endless path
The holes in my hand, gaping wide
Long for completion

If two magnets attract each other
Why do we repel so far away
One final glance
A turned back

Compel me

Blank faces walk past me
A visual elegy
In the morning past the city streets
Yet everyone persists so dimly
The overcast retracts the colour from my sight
As if it is midnight
And traces, shapes of phases
My shoelaces untangle themselves and I fall
Flat

The phasing interrupts my morning stroll
Predators on the prowl
Clad in amber
Stalking through the morning night mass
Hearts locked, empty locket
Deafening the peace in its trail
Chasing my tail and once I'm had
It detains me, immobilises me, I am
Caught

The city of black and white
Has no time for shades of grey
And yet the vivid colours bond
But yet I tripped
And in the black and white streets
I was trapped in technicolor

As I strolled through a foggy autumn evening
In the twilight when dusk has set
Auburn leaves filled my dreams like clouds in the sky

Through the wind speckles of water dwindled in the air
As faded light pierced the somber veil
Headlight by headlight passing by

Tiny beads of water accumulate on the surface
Like pearls they glisten in moonlight
And ever so pristine, reflective like mirrors
I found myself in a silver glow

As wisps of light sparked - a swarm of fireflies
Ever captivating - fascinating they performed
A dragon's dance along the candle light

But I walked the barren road that night
I wandered in darkness, blisters on my feet
Pelted and bruised I collapsed, huddled in madness

I slept, I wept, I woke up in an empty hallway
Darkness filled the void as I screamed but nothing replied
As I passed through the barriers of seclusion
For a single moment, I glance

Shrieking deafened my frail ears as in front of me
A horrendous creature gazed at me, grimacing wide
Its piercing gaze petrified me

To resist the blizzard chilling me to the bone
To conquer gravity taking its toll
Mirrors shatter to tiny fragments

And I saw the light

A sunflower as bright as the stars stood before me
With a mantle of pure gold it called my name
The genesis of a whole universe, I blossomed

I walked the thorny road for the ample roses
With coats so vividly coloured, dancing in the sun
I walked past the void on my bare feet

Glass shards piercing my tainted soles
As I walk through the corridor of the past
On the ground I stand I embrace the darkness
Yet I always feel the caress of the sun

The haven where fragments and shards
Once shattered form together
It is where I always wanted to be
Yes, it is where I always wanted to be

We shall dance together
Through the stars we'll shine
On the music of our reflection
With the chords from our mind

As the wind blows softly through your hair
As the tension is due
When the symphony begins to swell
I passionately hold you

Though night has passed
Forever we'll dance
For always together
In the sky we'll stand

I can't write nor talk
I can't do anything right
But it'll be fine
When I got you at my side

Somber tones echo throughout the chambers
Everlasting melancholy lingers through my heart

The heaviness of soul
For I play the ebony
With the intent to speak those words I cannot express

The tenderness of heart
For I play the ivory
I let the room speak - my hands are the mouth of intention

It is time you faced that abomination.

You don't need to be secretive about it;
You falter on the mere embrace of shame.

The frightening realisation that was brought forth
When you stumbled on the playground of greed.

The pestering of hands that point and eyes that stare
Bridled to your chest with lust for the meek.

On the edge of time you stood, floudering in a haze
To cope with the piercing daze of vertigo

Thus I ask to abolish that hurt
To call your empty heart and let go.

False elysium
Erected unrequited
Distant figures

The voices of the unfolding pandemonium

Whispered
Their taunts
Ever so slightly

Piercing the dreamscape within

Deceptive from nature
Going undetected

The blight of the facade

Warmth retracted
Embracing difference

For the glow
Was merely an empty light

Embracing what?
Noises

Endless barrages of noises
Disrupting the peace

Noises

Endless barrages of noises
Deliverance I wish

Noises

What remains are traces of warmth
I grasp for them

Tempo grave, sempre sospirando

An inner nocturne
When I am writing my own opus
The ink stains carress my hand
Crossed out lines, struck down

I am my own symphony
The sad tones of E flat minor
Paint the walls of this chamber a naive black
It creases the sheet music that I play

The resonating chamber within its thorny grasp
Keep my hands from playing
As the melancholic tones
Play their song on their own


#


The piano plays
I         yet
  have
     to
       compose


The piano GLEAMS
Something


The piano SINGS
that    keeps    me


||: The piano LINGERS
From             choking
         myself


The piano SUFFERS
In an             eternal
         embrace

The   p i a n o   SCREAMS :||
The   p i a n o   CHOKES
The   p i a n o   DIES
the
      p i a n o

Of              needles
and             thorns

D.S. Al fine, senza repetizione

And I danced on the mellow sounds of the grammophone
With dozens of friends standing aside
And they enjoyed the feast and at least
I was overcome with joy

I sat amongst a crowd of mannequins
Their fabricated smiles warmed me
And I danced on the music of the creaking windows
Ignoring the cracks around me

We celebrated in glee and raised our glasses
A speech, they demanded
A speech, I granted

And I spoke on the spot, glass in hand
In an empty room I remained

With both feet I stand in the soil
Nurturing my roots for eternity
As I stand tall, I am a haven, I am a creator
Ingrained with needles and thorns, I yield

For how long I wandered past the ruins I call my home
For how long I carried this numb, rotting case
Here I stand at my final resting place underneath the hollow sun
Empty sunrays on my face for I feel nothing

I am a haven, I am a creator
The roots are a palace and hold me dear
Carrying the seeds I sow at my barren grave
Whilst feeding them with my own corpse

And here I stood before my own grave
Crumbling walls clad with blood and dust
As I stride past the abandoned remnants of the palace
That once held its glory but now remained stoic in destruction

Revenant vibrato
Amongst vivid spiccato
A droning tenuto
Amongst the chaos in presto

The pages show alla breve
Poco rubato, primo tempo
Agitato con fuoco
And con repetizione
To dal Segno we go

Add a Capo
Presto spiritoso
Clash straight into
Fermata

Fine

I spent many hours
Thinking whether I could and
Not whether I should

I would if I could
But by doing so I guess
I never could at all

The more I gander
The more I stand on a ledge
As thick as a pin

Desperate measures
Writing down my own madness
With tones of sadness

The floating vessels
Of which thousands remain here
destroyed without thought

White noise internally
Incessant cacophonous sound
Brown, violet, violent, vile
The phrasing of inner dementia
Stroking the crevasse ahead
Frolicking inkstained sheets
It is coming
Cram, cram, cram
Blue, black, block, blight
Curious apparatus
Tell me your ways when I slumber
It escapes in the light
Blank, blink, black, bright
Cease
I do not know
What I am doing
What am I seeing
I
Do
Not

Follow me, my dragon
Follow me to a better place
Here we can rest
Here we can play

Our time has come
Our mission is done
We don't have to be afraid

I'll protect you
You're not alone
Nobody will hurt you

The cold rays landed on the surface
Boiling the earth in its radiance
For the morning so cold
The sun still holds
And warms our mother gaia

Why wouldn't birds bathe in the sunlight
As they travel from haven to haven
Why wouldn't the beetles traverse the grassland
Underneath the amber glow

The warm rays landed on the surface
Boiling the earth in its radiance
For the morning so cold
The sun still holds
And holds us dear

A string of steel shackles wraps
Around my neck
In an everlasting embrace
As I struggle to move
The devil tugs the string
I falter

A ray of pale sunlight pierces
The thin blinds
As it is trying to mock me
I awaken
Silence

Good morning

Low in the shallow land
He sleeps in the soft sand
The blowing of the wind on his face
And he sleeps so peacefully

So happily and bright
In the silent sunlight
Bathing in the warmth
On its face a little smile

Makes you think for a while
How it all went wrong
Had your soul ******
By the screen of light

The people he had to fight
To find his rest in hate
And endless debates of fate
Whether he got what he should

And nobody would
Care for his past
And only see what's left
In the shallow land

Where the soft sand
Slowly turns red
From invisible blood
The friend becomes a fiend

And the fire in his heart
Grows strong with hate
As he accepts his fate
He won't be there any longer

The fire makes his stronger
Destroys what he should be
Destroys the things he sees
Submerges with the sand

As he's broken, and collides
No more fighting, and he dies
Releases from his fright
That he won't lose anymore

Of tattered cloth and broken string
Everlasting embroidering
Of scrambled emotions within
Mere embracing of naught that stings

Walking through the darkness and cold
Whatever the paths of thorns hold
Everywhere the messenger goes
Who had spread the few words untold

Through blight and fear the light of there
Where the warmth embraces yonder
No place conceals the will to care
Frigid sceneries to wonder

The place where hopes and dreams amass
The haven where no man desires
To call out the endearing pass
Ending up in burning fires

This is my inner epitome
Of which I would have dared to say
Without any words left to sway
The place I always have called home

Traces of pawprints align and accumulate amongst the snow
The dusk casts the dawn away and tended their corpse
A vicious sound emanating, rusing the serenity of the twilight

"Papa, will you be home tonight?"
"Will you be carrying the candles again?"
"Will you stay with us tonight?"

Perpending echoes of the penumbra when the moon,
obscures, the darkened ceiling.

Slits of dim candlelight seep past the surface, a ****** demise
Crimson seeping, bubbled wine, creasing the remnants of the promise
My dearest, sweetest, purest child,
Amongst the veils of fireflies, the canids prowl through the streets
A deceitful parade amongst the illusion exposed,
The peaceful tracts are no more - I was struck.

The canids howl a sonorous melody, riveting, disconcerting harmonies
On the brink of the dying night, in a universe we brought so forth

The lingering of the slivers of silver shining,
the paradox of incongruent paths intertwining,
For each flame ceases in a communal suicide, the wolves stalk the solemn night.
The philosophy that was taught for generations and beyond,
It existed no more.

Beyond the blanket of hope and comfort, the warm amber rises
Stroking the pack, exuviating their hollow molt.

I was stranded here, on the island of scarlet
Roses floundering, thousands of rotten corpses
Fragrant luscious decadence, like candy to efflorescence
Floundering petals in hues of auburn and gold
Diluting to pallid gore.

"I will be home tonight"
"Smiling amongst the candlelight"
"For your dearest smile I recollected..."

"... and bled out once more"

The door was open
After all I needed was
A soft and slight push

Embracing concrete
A blanket of brittle stone
Never seemed so soft

Vividly coloured
Petals fill the crimson marks
Of blood-splattered streets

For I never longed
The eternal rest of mind
In sheer discretion

The grim reflection of the creature
That consumes you upon its gaze
Beyond the frigid mirror of liquid
An abyss lurks past the grave

The consolidated surface flounders
The many that defied its existence
As it shatters but reshapes
Shards of cold glass cease the dance

Beyond the mirror lives
The monster residing
In its frozen tomb
Where the amber glow cannot reach

Mystery embraces my shoulder
Am I real? Am I not?
                                                I don't know


It hesitantly wavers to my cheeks
Am I male? Am I female?
                                                I don't know


My identity got forgotten
When the hands left me
                                                I know.

                                                I don't know