We made love in your room that day
Light pouring through the window
A neighbor played "Stand by me"
Music travelling over from the  next door

Quiet mind, easy thoughts
Like wisps of wind
Warm sun
Against soft skin

I want to be present and
thinking about the world
Not worrying about myself+my mental illness+wellbeing.
Maybe I can find that out in the flowers

A running stream of consciousness
flows into the meadows
The bright and green made brightest by the sun
Blooms, flowers, bushes and bugs exist together here

When the large hand Death comes
With its dirt, dry fingers twists the stream of the spout off shut

Goodbye to the freshly flowing water, and blooms and flowers
bushes and the bugs
Sweet dreams to sweet consciousness
Forever and always

The sky cries
While the sun shines behind
Is it you up in Heaven
Grieving us so?

The sky is crying
Gentle tears
While a song of sorrow
Sorrow and yearning
Sings from my spirit

To run as children
Joyous laughs
Fields of green
Surrounded by trees

To slap so vile
Rage and rage and rage

To love and know so deeply
A world only we know
A bond only we hold

Everything in me
Is also in you
To share so much of who we are
How can that be separated?

I lift my head up from the bow
A risk to take just yet
Iron caves have rusted
Surround and keep me warm
To leave here now frightens me so
But to stay will do the same
Years and year so dream to return
Forever I sorley yearn
To speak you and to find you
Is the only vision I can see
Your hand reached out to mine
So calmly and serene
To step over that threshold
Into the safety of always
Where we dance in memories past
Laugh as we always have

One thing I never expected from this world
was to lose you
A constant and an always
With you gone I'm not so sure that I am here
Not all of me at least
I've never wished to return to the past
Now it's all I could ever dream
Cruel joke to have the memories, but no you
We will miss you for the rest of time
All the love you had to leave behind..
I'm so sorry
I love you so much

I feel her spirit in the air
I see her in the light reflected against the trees
In the curvature of the shadow of a leaf
The wind I breathe carries her into me
Now a part of everything

Moment to moment
Hour to hour
Day to day
The rest of a lifetime.
A bouquet of flowers
from a passer by
extends this moment to an hour
Hopefully longer soon

I want to crawl inside
The crevice of the tree
Tiny and curled
Away from the world
Away from all of this.
Safe inside the hollow tree
Dark and comforted
A little cold
Breeze to blow in through the crease
Yes, here is where I'll stay awhile
Maybe forever,
I'm not sure

Sweet, brown eye'd boy
Curls of black hair
loose round my finger tips
Warm, golden hands
hold the small of my back
Your smile
shy and stunning
fills me with the sun

Water falls as you wash me
wrapped between your legs
Your arms over and around me
Gentle and loving
as they were moments ago
in a bed where we groaned and touched and tangled
loving safely and connected
Budding trust and blooming bonds
growing closer and closer together

Waiting for the paint to dry
I want to start a fresh page
but if I do not give this one its time
it will bleed on to the next
It will lose parts of itself and
imprint where it does not belong
Patience is a virtue, perhaps this is why

I see a lion
through the rose petals
in the bushes
his mane forms and rests
The wind blows
and I can hear
his roar
revealing a pink tongue
The gold of his body
blends into the gold of the grass
It glistens and it shines
I see his power
It is mine.

dark blue
wisps of white
endless rolls
on the way down south
deep mounds meet
the land to the sky
stars sparkle
such silence
wind blows

vibrant green field
so bright the grass
appears almost yellow
A comforting sun
shines upon it all
encasing it in Heaven

The pink roses
inside my white elephant
tea *** are Gorgeous.
The petals against the porcelain
a true work of art.

A poem of hope
for when you feel you have to smoke
when mom's words rip and hurt
when you see the ground 9 floors below
and wish to hit it swiftly

No one to let go
has ever landed without regret
to stay here seated now is the safest bet

But the moon is round
and gold and big
If I reach real far, will I get to it?

The answer is no, and that is OK.
You're here on Earth where you're meant to stay.

Gaze rests upon
red, red roses
encased in a purple vase
Hear warm, safe voices
A melody carried along
Words of affirmation, love, trust
Wind kisses
flowing through window
wrapped in its arms
tossed away

She's an empty canvas
under sheets of red
Her legs spread out before me
as her body lay still

I long to share this with you
To crawl into your arms
and bloom. Your love.
Open my petals
Don't pluck me from my sepals
Water me, don't hurt..

I need not use full sentences
I cannot if I want to express
The structure confines, represses, degrades
the integrity of the cries
Help me speak
My throat, mouth too dry
so dry, I do not have tears

Salt crystalized and formed the rock
mounds glowing orange
in the dessert sunset
my spirit rests, crushed to rubble
like ash

The Hydrangeas died shortly
after finding their home
among the Orange and Yellow
Flowers

I'm sorry I say I say
I should have left you
where I found you

Selfish to pluck the beauty from the vine.

The mind so powerful
I wish it not to
wash me away
as though I were
Algae
along the shore
Journey'd to the sand
only to be
scooped up, ****** and tossed
right back into the
watery world

In the sunlight of Washington park
I write
Gold flicks and reflects
along my hair
My skin hot from rays
of warmth
over a prolonged moment
of peace

Each time I return to the market
I bring home with me
two bouquets of fresh flowers
to fill a vase found long ago
in childhood with my loved ones in Mexico
Another
from a shop near by, once meant for tea
A porcelain elephant
now holds cold water for fresh flowers

Vibrant greens dazzle
like Aventurine
to remind me
opportunities await
outside in the air
love, kindness, pain wind
all call my name
in the brush petals sway
side to side
I am carried away
into the bright
white light

Oh the joy of days renew
The sun and singing
with hands clasped together..oh!
The first time in so long
so so long..

Carried along the wings of the wind
The spirit sings
a song so pure and true
all the love in the world goes with it then

I see Heaven in the clouds
its entry revealed
in the way light
reflects with the sun

I'll love her forever
and one day i'll let her go
with grace.    Or, maybe
she'll let me go with grace

Either way
we'll love each other always.

Through many moods and moons
I've felt the heart of your soul
moving me like clouds through the sky
A guiding wind to journey back and forth
Love me always through the bluest nights,
like stars shining in the desert.
Ever-long...Ever-lone....
Bright light backdrops the most immense gray as I dream
of you and you and only you forever among the cosmos

I dance with the tree outside my window
We face each other,
our branches reach out in an arc to meet
The breeze keeps tempo
We sway
The leaves shimmer and shine,
sending their good graces to the music.
A warm voice holds us
both    encased in a moment of decadent peace

The mounds of my sit bones
press firmly into the soil
Grass dampens me with mud-
moist from the water
just a few more feet down

Its only distant chatter
The pieces are all scattered
If you told me last year
we would all be here

The mountains have lost me again, its true. Washed upon the river, its edge held me close.
Thinking of the ones who
I miss most

Stationary.

    On a wave   cascading
     through time
and space and,
     love..

Eyes Shut Wide
     A grasp as hands
     part..
Inhales as    lips
    press.

I remember you outside
in the cool breeze    in the sunshine
dust, dirt, sweat
inviting green grass
freedom, joy
blue sky      clear   and   endless
energy and people
I remember you these ways