I have always known your feelings would someday fade

But don't know how to be just words scrawled sloppily on the back of a notebook too light to make out in No. 2 pencil

An entertaining fantasy
Not entertaining enough to commit to

I did not know that you would stick to my heart like your skin is made of super glue

To live one day free from the knowledge of your existence chaining my wilted blossoms to this bare room of sadness is the sliver of sunshine I desire more than anything else in life

But image appears vividly again and again

No good for the heart
No good for my self-respect
Good for only pain

I helped build high walls
Set up defenses as well
Blocking out the pain

There are days I wish I hated you
And others where I miss you bad
Your memory forever present
Always making me sad

This is the story of Good-Time Tim
That I sit down to tell you today
No matter the weather
No matter the season
This man just wanted to play

And rain always calls for a raincoat
Boots and a hat for good measure
But Tim didn't need any protection from the storm
In the downpour in fact he took pleasure

His father put the pressure on
From a young age expected perfection
So when he grew up he got the hell out of dodge
Moved far away from parental correction

He was always in a drinking mood
Any time of day or night
If you caught him four drinks or more in
Whew! He was quite a sloppy sight!

This is the story of Good-Time Tim
That I sit down to tell you today
No matter the weather
No matter the season
This man just wanted to play

He drank hard alcohol and beer
Without discrimination
Either one would work just fine
For his goal of inebriation

He was a bit too rough on his body
Which is an overly gross understatement
He neglected his health and mental well-being
In reckless pursuit of entertainment

He wasted his life away getting wasted
Never pausing to consider that he might be missing out
Too self-destructive to attract a wife
So a family he chose to live without

This is the story of Good-Time Tim
That I sit down to tell you today
No matter the weather
No matter the season
This man just wanted to play

There was the time Tim broke his shoulder
Falling out of a tree
Because someone bet he couldn't reach the top
A task that proved to be an impossibility

Tim hardly ever brushed his teeth
So they all fell out by age 45
But considering his lifestyle
He was just lucky to still be alive

Surprisingly he was a religious man
Although not one page of the bible did he read
He had heard Jesus turned water to wine
That was all the preaching he'd ever need

This is the story of Good-Time Tim
That I sit down to tell you today
No matter the weather
No matter the season
This man just wanted to play

As he grew old he began to slow down
But not once did he ever regret
The countless mistakes he had made through the years
I guess the ***** made him forget

His liver held up for a very long time
But eventually started to rot
But for Tim it was too late to get sober
So he still swallowed shot after shot

When the doctor gave him his fatal diagnosis
He laughed and said "I'm ready to go
But make sure I'm buried with a bottle
In case they don't serve liquor way down there below!"

Shook jaded soul asleep
Silenced with hazy thoughts
Never fear and fight the unknown
Ground quaking as images talked
Don't know what happens now
Skin is a canvas for dreams
These stained people and endured places
And weary worms bloomed from instinct
They figured out how to rule my nerves and muscles
Surrendered to the hearse in my head
Burning sunsets weigh down my nightmares
To floods that drown me in this bed

Dark words distorted
Cold careless chaos crawling
Same sound. Morphed meaning.

If you cannot find strength to keep pushing along
On the right track or wrong
The beliefs and feelings you believed you once knew
All that in your mind the only thing stopping you

Visited graveyard today
For mom and dad
Wish their lives weren't taken away
So much time left to be had

Write a poem to get off my chest
All my thoughts into a pile
And boring soap opera lines
Lighter for a little while

I see familiar metaphors
See the recycled rhymes
See the same old stories
Shared countless times

I see piece of a greater puzzle
Existence of chapters not written yet
Entire ocean of future to chart
Only gotten the tip of my pen wet

I see the history shaping my universe
Joy and sorrow imprinted
See the creation made from my transformation
Artwork I sloppily printed

I see natural progression
See soul spread out on display
See what's hidden in the spaces between words
I'm too scared to say

I see truths of the galaxy I've learned
Leave traces of my essence in each mark of ink
See miracles
Mights
Madness
Writing combines my spirit with things I think

Jump with new courage
With them leap like you have wings
Fly as free as birds