I am a cyberwoman
Delete, delete, delete.
It's true, I do remove
The too, too much.
I rearrange, and chop, and change,
I know that you will always read
The sigh between the lines,
And maybe you, too have things that you have written,
then hidden away.
Maybe, you, too, are frightened of
The neversaid, the ever left unread.

You make me feel wistful
With your tight bellies, limpid eyes and endless manes of hair,
You make me feel afraid.

Dainty Angels,
I can't...Quite...Remember...

You make me feel jealous
With your waiflike allure, sad vulnerability, delicate beauty,
You make me feel inadequate.

Fairy Foundlings,
I won't...ever...be....

You make me feel ancient
Outside, dated and decrepit.
How do you feel? What do you need?
Why are you all so sad?

My dreams are your nightmares.
I tasted raindrops once, too
I almost have it, almost understand.

Impregnation
Inevitably results in conception
You are prolific,
And I, so very fertile.
The gestation period varies
I, heavy with creation
Give birth to words.
Our children delight us
One day, they too
Will speak, and seed.

We the hidden, now exposed
I cannot find my home.

My dance is despair,
All is salt-sweet, where is she
Who calls the us, the we?

Why do I fly
And where do I go?

The here is a tangle of
Too much bright delight
I fall, I fly, it is un-right

Lost, alone, I spin
Imploding from within
I have what we need
But the others are not here

Wet comes
In bitter spurts
And I know fear
I am afraid.

I had no need to know of this
Going, I, alone
Wings rip each drip
Oh, I go

We the hidden, now exposed
I cannot find my home.

Trusting you is not hard.
The rest of the world, now, that’s a different matter.
But I trust you, as I trust the Sun to rise,
Feel free to hide.
Sometimes words fail us,
We cannot find the truth within.
Afraid, we feel unworthy,
Our need is overwhelming,
Crippled with self-doubt, words betray us,
But our hearts are as honest and true as the shining moon.
Fear not, I will always be here.
Sometimes I hide behind the clouds
But I will re-emerge to warm you,
Take heart, I would trust you with my life.

Tonight, the dark feeds with splintered teeth,
The moon a bloated glutton, spitting light like shards of bone
Through corpse-grey, carrion clouds.
The night feeds and I shrink.
My dreams are dessicated,
All desire ****** dry, the marrow of me mourns
For the incarnation of before.
I was plump, proud, succulent, I lived
for the delights of the night, but now
the stars themselves spew from the sky
Like the ***** of a long neglected, hobo God.
Tonight, the dark feeds with splintered teeth,
All are devoured, we are an amuse-bouche
For who? For what? And *why?

As a child, I loved those puzzles,
The ones where you trace a line through a maze to reach a goal.
If you hit a blockage,
Back you go, to try again.
Again, again, you know that it's there,
that elusive final prize,
You just have to find the right path.
In life, though, you can't just erase that line,
It's a lifeline, others are clinging to it,
You brought them with you,
You can't just erase their world.
There is no 'try again', so you find yourself,
Up against a wall, and you stay.
You don't want to be there,
You took a wrong turn somewhere,
You can hear and see where you should be,
So close, but there's no way through.
They seem so simple, those puzzles,
It looked like the right way,
But now you're stuck there
Staring at a wall,
Willing it to fall.

Your fingers tangle in long ropes of my hair.
You cannot break free,
And you love these shackles.

While you are helpless
In the long moments it will take you to free yourself,
My hands explore
Delicately
Deliberately
Liking what they find.

And still you are bound to me,
Drowning and delirious,
Your hands work for release,

And so do mine.

Yes dip submit
Fragrant trembling
Wed to Red
You want me yes
For you I open
Pink spread red
Yes ready I am
Heady your scent
Red pink ablaze
Dip drip dance
Yes my purpose
To accept
Your needy seed.

We all have the right to write.
We aren't obliged to write right.

You have the right to flaunt your ugly, hatefilled heart,
You have the right to sneer, and leer.

Hide behind those concepts and techniques.
If it makes a few people laugh, who cares about the ones that cry?
They don't get it, they don't get you,
You're too clever for them.

You have the right, you have the right,
I agree, we are all free,
Some will laugh, some will cry,
Some stay silent, sitting by.

I'll admit that you have wit,
You're still a total, utter ***.

Everybody loves you
At the start. At the start
The world's your friend,
They all leave you
In the end.
Nobody is yours
Nobody will stay
Everyone will walk away.

Nectar-drugged bees throb and buzz
A dizzying, delicious hum.
A choral swell accompanies the growing surge
I, the conductor, back and forth, back and forth with my baton,
Deftly delivering a rousing, rhythmic performance,
The ******, an oh, oh!
Crescendo

Juices flow for you
Creative and otherwise
Most delicious muse

Kiss tingle whizz fizz
Fireworks shooting hot stars
Lots of 'oohs' and 'aaahs'!

I am making you toast.
White bread, thick and moist, crisps and darkens,
A smell of crumbs and comfort
wafts around the room.
The butter curls about the knife
Soft and oily, there is some on my finger
And I lick it off.
The toast is ready, it jumps from the toaster,
And I start to spread, butter sinking in with a satisfied sigh.
And here you are, with your arms around my waist,
Your warm breath in my ear, trying to steal a piece too early.
I catch your fingers in my oily own
And you put them to your mouth.
What do you want, hungry mister?
Me or the toast?

I write of a feeling unknown and unnamed.
It eludes me, it flies away and hides,
Resists examination.
It is huge, it is all, it is everything.
A swelling scream,
A realised dream,
Warping the edges of reality.
Conventions crumble,
Analysis defied,
Ah, what to do?
It is bigger than the universe
And has no name.

Her pale flesh pinkens
and twitches so prettily
Happily chastised

I'll come to you again tonight.
In every way a woman can, I'll love you.
Fingertips to collarbone,
Hips against hips,
You'll grip me through the tremors of midnight,
And as the milky moon fades, dusky dawn
will trace our naked bodies with a tingling trail of light.
Our lips will softly brush
Against the days shy, morning hush.
It won't be real, it will be real.
You'll ******* need, you'll see, you'll feel,
In every way a woman can, I'll love you,
I'll come to you again.

Yes, the air is electric.
There is wind and there is rain,
But the rain is gentle, like an outdoor shower
on a tropical island,
And the wind is reviving, it caresses the skin,
Awakes, restores, renews.  
Do not run for shelter
or cower inside
Awaiting the return of comfortable and calm.
Look up, embrace the cloudbursts,
Feel it, feel everything, take it, drink it in.
Find me.
I am waiting for you,
Laughing, dancing, underneath the trees.
I want to share the opening skies.
We have both been waiting
And this is not a storm.

Her words are ripened fruit,
Each a perfect, poignant peach
For trembling hands to reach.

Stroking first the pink flesh text,
Slowly, oh so slowly,
Relishing delicious words.

He takes a bite, sinks a slavering tongue
into creative juices,
Beginning, middle, please don't end,
He reads her with his mouth.

His ***** tongue infuses every phrase
She glazes, spreads like honeyed butter
into the words.

Trickling slowly
Oh, so slowly
Through each stanza

This is her molasses moment
She is ready for his pen
to catch her syrup drips, to stop this slick
Becoming a pool.

I want to love you,
but you make it so hard for me,
With this sadistic torment.

I imagine you are angry
At the way I have treated you,
And that is why you subject me to agony.

I was so ignorant, back then,
Blaming you for my own shortcomings,
I wanted you to change.

I tried to turn you into something you were not,
I starved you of affection, forced you to do things
Even as you protested, and begged to be set free.

Is this how you punish me? When will you stop?
Please, talk to me,
Tell me what you need.

Is it too late for us to learn to love each other?
There is no escape,
We have to find a way.
And there has been togetherness,
There has been delight, and even love.

Together, we have borne two children,
Danced with abandon,
Explored our limits alone and with others.

My body, my self,
Let me find a way to help you,
My body, my love,
Help me free us from this pain.

She is naked and alone,
Everything hurts.
Tears slide down her gooseflesh *******,
They are cold and unkind.
Some catch at the corner of her mouth,
And the salt stings.
Baptised in pain and misery,
She raises her face to the unforgiving light
And closes her eyes, they ache and burn.
The tears run, then, to a different place
But they are still cold, they are still unkind,
Everything hurts.
She is naked and alone.

4am, awake again.
It is hard to hold onto the self
When engulfed in pain,
The essence of me,
Overwhelmed by analgesics.
Fight, fight, fight,
Everything will be alright.
Time enough to shed this murky shroud,
For now, coffee, codeine, carry on.

When language is lost, we need never speak.
Listen, and you will know everything.
I begin so softly, this is my prelude,
Your patient silence a reply.
Building notes on notes, I tell you how I feel.
I need not fear; there can be no misinterpretation,
The song speaks for me, clearly, simply,
I am here, you are there, and we are together.
Keys are pressed, strings are plucked, the chorus reached,
Crescendo soaring, tears pour down my face,
But I am not sad.
All boundaries are conventions,
We will transcend them, together.
I imagine a door,
It will open, for us,
If not here, then in another world,
A dream, a page, a song,
A story we will build.
Listen, you will know me
In every way, I am giving you my whole heart,
It is here, in the magic of the music,
Each note a single drop in the ocean,
Yet, what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops?

I miss you
At silent, lonely midnight and at angry 3am.
In the timid mumbling of morning,
And the quiet gathering time
As I prepare to leave the house,
Resigned and calm and ready,
I miss you.

I miss you
In the crowded cocoon of the bus commute to work
And the coffee coated sip of 8am.
In the manic chatter of my mid morning break,
And the solitary supping of sustenance, at noon.
When I shrug on my coat, and exit in a daze,
I miss you.

I miss you
Walking home, past smiling hordes.
My house tries to welcome me
Through gritted teeth, I turn the key.
I miss you as I eat again, prepare for bed,
Type this poem, gulp away the lump that's in my throat
And return to stanza one.
I miss you.

Your hands are gentle
As they take me, create me,
Making love, and art.

A butterfly
On the stem of a leaf.
A child with a net
And a small glass jar.
Outcome undetermined,
Many do escape.

Snickering, taunting crushing
Glass spine Pain
Shiver-sweat, an acid rain
Crushing heat, pulsing vein
Sly and furtive, scraping pain
Mainline pills, a codeine drain
Senses fuzzy, can’t explain
Pain is all
The pain, the pain.

Let yourself escape to me,
Your willing woman, wanting, waiting,
Ready, there, for you.
A forest, filled with the succulent scent
of nectar dusted flowers, dancing, so delicate,
Passion coloured petals
Swirling through a waterfall of want.
Here we will kiss,
A deep and dizzy first, and lasting taste,
Savouring the flavour of need.
Dream with me there, in our world of wonder,
We will weave and keep together
A heartscape, a hiding space,
Our loves' home, a treasured place.

It makes me angry
That I cannot escape visual dissection
in my favourite place of words.
One picture
And a few hundred poems
But it seems I must be judged by the former.
Apparently,
I am trying to be popular,
I have machiavellian mammaries,
Cynically garnering votes.
Capable of that, it would seem,
But not of writing something worth reading.
I am angry that I allowed myself
To hide, anxious and afraid of upset,
I refuse to feel ashamed.
I am here.
Here I am.
I'm beautiful INSIDE.

Summer drops warm rain,
Sultry breeze singing your name.
I am wet and hot.

Hashtags. I hate them.
I would rather be ignored
Bye Hellopoets.

Hashtags.  Ugly slash.
Poems full of trash, rated
Highly, hashtag rash.

There's little value
And no pleasure, in regret,
Yet, I can't forget.

Play that song,
We'll dance.

Whisper those words.

Press
undress
Yes, yes

There is and never will be no
Don't go.
But yes, always,

*Press
Undress
Yes, yes.