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"forgive them," they say.
"not for them, but for you."
"forgive but don't forget."
i never understood those lines.
why would i ever forgive you
for what you did to me?
for some peace of mind?
no, i don't think so.
it doesn't work like that.
not with you.
not with abuse.
forgiving your fake excuses
for all your permanent abuse
is something i can never justify.
and it will never bring me peace
no matter how hard i try.
i can't forgive you even if i wanted to.
but you don't deserve it anyway.
and i'm fine being resentful.
i have every right to be.
you strung me out
and pulled me apart thread by thread.
you bled me out and wrung me dry.
and forgiving you won't change a single thing.
it doesn't undo the damage thats been done,
and it doesn't stop future sleepless nights.
it does nothing but make it seem okay
for people to do what you did.
it does nothing but justify your actions,
actions which have no valid justification.
it does nothing but make me look weak
because i gave in and forgave someone like you
because the pain was too much for me to handle.
so i won't do that.
i refuse to be weak.
i will triumph despite the rage and pain,
and we will both die with this hatred in my veins.

- i will never forgive you.

// q.h.
June 17, 2019
Daniel Ruiz Aug 2018
I want that angel
Complete in black
Whiter than the clouds,
Her curves,

Like the way her eyes shine
When she notices every one is looking at her,

And then there’s me,
Sitting in a corner looking at her
From a far.
It’s my first day of college, I was anxious, but not too much, wishing there was people that I adore besides me, but happy, happy im starting a new life
cass Sep 2016
It's funny how someone who once mattered can turn into nothing

"you can trust me"  
Little did I know it was a lie for your own sick sinful need

You are invisible, despicable, and everything you have made me feel is unforgivable

People like you put peoples guards up, you make the world a much harder place.
Janelle Tanguin Feb 2017
Before everything

i. I never knew four letters could melt
menthol candy-like, hydrochloric acid on my tongue
and keep burning it in different degrees
I had to swallow back.

ii. That there would come a time
I'd have to baptize the pain in my chest like seasons
robbing me lungfuls
on January, September and December nights.

iii. That my blood was really ink I needed to stop using
before my skin turned paper-like.

iv. That my heart had an epicenter pumping a magnitude of earthquakes
that made me tremble helplessly in its intensity;
and that they were man-made calamities
followed by harsh, heavy, whipping tsunamis
to flood my grave of bleeding, jagged fault lines.

v. That aftereffects lasted longer than treatment itself,
and that I didn't need any professional diagnosis to know
I was terminal
from the same drug that made butterfly-strokes in my veins,
whose arms withheld the only elixir to this malady.

vi. I named my sickness, my pain, my agony like orphaned children, after you--
a rare disease
the doctors didn't even know about yet.

vii. I did and I doubted
but a part of me beat signals
that echoed off the cave walls of my skull
that I knew.

viii. Before everything,
I have been warned
but I chose to listen to the soothing, wrong, hopeful voices
"He means no harm,".

ix. You began spreading like an epidemic-- a tumor to a colony of cells all over me-- until I became you;
a reflection of familiar suffering and mortality, slowly withering away.
In the end, I didn't even have you to blame
for letting me overdose from intakes
of my own ****, bitter medicine and unforgivable mistakes.

x. I guess, this was how you wanted the price to be paid.
Wyatt Jul 2018
I see the classist
who fuels the masses.
Community, dreams
buried under taxes.
Who decides what passes
and what won't go?
You cling to morals,
yet you strike so low.
Distant pipe dreams,
we reach for the jaw
that binds us, blinds us
under authoritarian law.

******* under our noses,
but they're still raised.
Scoffed, but scuffed.
Wrought, but tough.
Why do we wallow
in the dirt
yet we still look above?
"Pick a side,
you can't wait in the middle.
Can't overlook,
you're apart of the visual."
We're panicked in the wake of this.
"You're either the talk of the show
or the mistake that makes the art ****."
In hate the people unite,
separated as we ignite.
It's unforgivable.
Classism will be the death of us all, it's unforgivable.
Ash Rose Mar 2016
She lives in a world of lies and shattered pieces
Constantly telling herself that everything will work out
That it will be alright if she can just hold on
When she knows in her broken little soul
That the only thing that will mend is the hearts of those around her

Truly she knows how deadly her mind is to herself
The fake, comforting, band-aid thoughts that fill her with dread
Taking over when she's alone and crying
Those white lies that she almost believed in
The one she almost trusted, stabbing her in the back

The delicate rose inside of her withering away with dehydration
Life being ****** out, replaced by a poison of the worst kind
Doubts filling her head, clouding her judgement
Forcing her to do unforgivable things that she'll never forget
The thorn in her side pushing her again and again

They say you need to bleed to know you're alive
And although she has bled, she's still not sure
Wishing it was all just a nightmare, a lie of a dream
Again with the lies, she'll never get away
She runs and runs but they always follow her

All around her she sees the broken pieces of herself
Reflected back at her sobbing figure through cracked mirrors
Lighting bouncing off and hiding away
Hiding from the girl who sealed her own fate
The girl who knew what she was getting into but couldn't stop

The girl who is me
Di Verce Sep 25
You try so hard in your casual work
But casually flip off angels without a word.
What's the crux of all those hours
When you negate them with a click?
Pai Mei was... Inconsolable.
Kenji May 27
I lie, I deceive, I guilt trip, I am unfaithful.
I use, I manipulate, I cover up, I am unforgivable.
I have no shame in what I do.
It's like playing a game of chess, strategically formulated for the ones who cannot see through.
I love one, but it's never enough.
I need more.
I am hungry for the chase, the game, the adventure, the thrill.
I confess in guilt.
Guilt, my main negative feeling.
Hesitation, I dance with the devil in sin.
Sent to hell for lust and lies.
But hell has a special place for me, the throne.
I have sinned enough to deserve such a title.
So secretive, nobody knows.
My motives are locked, my intentions don't need to be told.
Feeling so numb, so detached, my feelings for you are so gone, I question why I wanna still see you again.
Then I remember, we are best friends.
The trap of getting bored so easily all the **** time, just wanting the next best thing, again, and again.
It's a cycle.
I don't deserve true love.
For I am a sinner, who has confessed my guilt of hidden shame.
Venus in Aries
The Warrior Seductress
Venus: Planet of love and harmony
Aries: Impulsive, quick, bored easily, likes the chase, seeks the thrill, adventurous, aggressive, bold, risk-taker, ***** *****.
Warda Kashif Aug 2017
High in the sky
The castle stands strong
Each grain packed together with trust
That they may never separate from each other
The rooms fill with the laughter of a young lady
His hand graze each corner as he follows the familiar scent of his love
He wraps his arms around her waist and breaths in home
She nestles deeper into strong arms

Grey clouds in the sky
The castles stands strong
Sturdy walls stand on a solid promise
To never let go of one another
He paces from one room to another raging in silence
She sits on the edge of her bed with her head held low
He wants revenge for hurt

Sun in the sky
The castle stands strong
Clear windows look out into a bright future
Of a happy life together
Hand in hand they dance through their dreams of solitude
She looks deep in his eyes and sees his soul
He looks deep in her eyes and sees her heart

Stars in the sky
The castle stands strong
Gold ceilings as high as the queens expectations
No one could reach any higher
He hangs from the chandelier to her every word
She wants more than she deserves
The castle is not big enough for their love

Thunder and lightning rip through the sky
Tearing through the sturdy walls
A chilling wind cracking the once clear windows
Piece by piece each grain falls
It crumbles at their feet
Amongst their unforgivable brawls
The castle is only made of sand
It no longer stands tall
Brokk66 Jun 2018
she ignores me still,
the wonderous girl
who stole my heart.
she said...
she would love me forever,
no matter what.

she lied.

I am living proof,
that lies are believable
for I believed...
in her...
and in us.

she failed me,
and let me down,
when i needed her the most.
******* i needed her!

do not believe
that love is beautiful...
for it is false,
and indifferent,
and malignant.

i believed,
and look at me now...
telling all of this to you
who don't care.

she lied, and i suffer.
she betrayed our promise,
and that is...

need i say more?
Ryan Joseph Aug 2018
It is still a mystery,
Why others fall in love,
Even in a gibberish reason,
Even there's "someone", they already have.

Knowing it's an unforgivable sin,
And a foolish way I have been,
To fall in love for that someone,
Who already has a number one.

I would not rather be a number two,
I'm not desperate breaking them too,
I'd rather bear of all the pain,
In front of someone than looking insane.

I'd rather have all the sacrifices,
Knowing that you are not loveless,
But it's not my fault letting you be,
A hiding hypocrite on him 'cause you fell in love with me.

The incite in your eyes, you tried to hide,
I've just ignored and kept it inside,
'Cause I'm strong and I know it's wrong,
It's patent, we just don't belong.

How can we make it right?
When at first it's all wrong?
I want to fight for our love,
But I have no reason to hold on.
It may be sad and it hurts but IDC.
Steve Jun 2018
Just like everything else she goes away in the end,
there's no such thing as special,
it's all just the false spectrum of our perceivable desires,
liberty's eyes of unappeasable bliss maniacally stabbed out,
everything is nothing,
and nothing doesn't exist,
In the unforgivable end I'm always alone,
I live for your romance, but my love lets me starve,
loves unstable walls of unbridled lust,
The ****** weeping angels of pride,
classical war zones of ridiculed misery,
the devils mine of fraudulent consciousness,
starkness clouds of fictitious reality,
life's a dangerous game, humanities humble begrudging essence,
all for one and none for all,
our world's gone mad,
all lives taking part in the hollow pit of it's permanent nothingness,
it's a sad sad world
Love, life, meaning, romance, death, pain, poem, alone, lust, pride, misery, consciousness, humanity,
i trusted you to guard my emotions
but somehow you captured my heart and managed to let darkness into my chambers
your attack managed to make my heart vulnerable
susceptible to breakage
and just when I thought your invasion was over
you decided to crush my heart to absolute fragments
an unforgivable plot
yet you were forgiven
and although it took me forever to rebuild after you
i would take you back in a second
and suffer all over again
i dont understand why I keep coming back to you
Traveler Dec 2018
Into a corner
Of madness
I've been forced
Crazy dictates
My every course

Windows with bars
Once held me in
Chains and cages
Unforgivable sins

Loved ones lost
Far in the past
Regrets are shared
Emotions amassed
Poison waters
Hold my truths
Grew up in Flint
Youth without youth
Traveler Tim
Richie Vincent May 2018
It’s been two decades and I’m still sweating out this fever

My eyes haven’t stopped watering since my family tree fell over,
branch by branch we collapsed into the river,
rushing faster and faster to mutually assured destruction,
no one is getting out alive here

No one is getting out alive here in this world,
so we might as well get it while the going is going because one day the going is going to stop and we’ll be left holding on to as much as we can,
We’ll feel so sorry for ourselves then

I’ve walked with snakes on my shoulders for as long as I can remember,
All my hearing has amounted to hisses,
and all of my bones have broken to bend and expand to hold all of the feelings I’ve eaten

Made love with the ****** and prayed to every angel I’ve seen in my paralysis,
In my dreams I see flowers,
Red like blood,
but clean like a mended heart,
Slowly but surely I’ll likely tear myself apart

But I like it like this,
It gives me a reason to wonder,
and wander,
So I’ll continue to wonder,
and wander

We all just drink to get drunk,
We’re all just ghosts without a house to haunt,
I’ve been feeling this sickness creep up into my throat,
and it’s been drying to get out, and I think I’ll let it

I’m still learning what falling in love feels like,
Still coming to grips with realities that don’t involve bruised eyelids and unforgivable I told you so’s,
Sometimes it feels like I’m coming to the end of my rope but then it frays all over again and I’m stuck trying to wind it back up,
How selfish to think I can fix something that’s too broken

Cut to my grandmother getting dolled up for her closeup because the church taught her how to become her own messiah, now she doesn’t know how to love the right way,
I’m starting to think that none of us do

I’m starting to run with the wolves,
The moon speaks in tongues to me,
I keep asking her to take me back where I belong,
Every painting hanging in my room is blank,
Blank and powerful,
but afraid,
I’m starting to think we all are

I’ve been sweating everything out,
It’s taking longer than I want it to

I just hope that by the time I’m laying on my deathbed,
I’ll be as dry as this all bled me
Nat Lipstadt Sep 19
~for she who will know~

the Mother of Muses came to me

on bended knee
come for to confess
a lie so grand it boggled
the heart

we bring you nothing more
than what you already possess,
the jewels of rose gold are emplaced
in your dual ventricles,
the veins stained with blue green sapphires to
feed the right and left hemispheres,
where the emerald heat and the yellow gold,
raw melt the alpha word-finery awaiting,
the pinpointed pinprick of an eyed glimpse

to release the oxidizing words atmospheric
we are not needed, just proceeders,
*** stirrers? no. *** watchers? oh yes.

all contained within,
this then, the art of the human heart,
where the external stains rest awaiting,
completing, complimenting, coming
to fruition in a reforged new birthing

see how the child looks with adoration,
perceiving the art of the mothers heart,
the spilling of time at the precise moment
when the exchange is as long as an eye wink
and as short as an entire lifetime

We the Muses, not teachers, nor inspirers,
just peddlers, collecting thimbles of words,
polished with hued syllables of tarnish,
experienced watchers discerning the exacting,
the interactive interactions of the cells,
the DNA concoctions of singers and sinners,
priests and the unforgivable, trying to tie
what deserves untying, which is an everlasting
poem that needs, laughing, an original act
of the art of the heart, yours, permission to say
The End

Sept. 18, 2019
there is almost always a poem in the simple, where true art awaits your
Ryan Joseph Apr 16
What will become of our Society?
Poor people die in hunger and thirstiness,
Corruption, Rally, Political Issues, etc. are always there,
Our world is full of miseries and nightmare.

Our world in its 21st century is quickly-evolving,
High-precise technologies, lots of concrete, improved skywalks and tall buildings,
But homeless people are dying of hunger,
They famished already yet government just don't care.

Poor people received hunger, diseases, illnesses and unforgivable yet unacceptable deaths of every year,
But we don't know what others there might can't bear,
Of what this country-- the world government gave,
Improper allocation of resources, corruption, unequal distribution of income that we can't evade.

Wishing yet continuously suffering,
Of this kind of nightmare we are having,
But hoping someday this will be cured,
So none of the poor people will suffer anymore.
Emily Aug 14
They call me disaster,
Stupid, dumb, basic, cry baby,
Lame, ****, impossible, failure,
Bland, plain, trash, nerd,
Crazy, ******, fake, dork,
Mistake, accident, brat, loser,
Bad, untalented, useless, forgettable,
Worthless, hopeless, shameful, tone deaf,
Cow, fat, insane, dull,
Incompetent, idiot, sick, gone,
Terrible, unbearable, diseased, tired,
Special, gross, unwanted, desperate,
Try-hard, whale, pig, liar,
Never enough, child, insecure, sad,
Scared, cutter, suicidal, friendless,
Invisible, waste, self absorbed, unloved,
Torn, replaceable, copy, runaway,
Snake, snitch, sneak, lazy,
Alone, unneeded, loud, unforgivable,
Annoying, attention seeker, weak, paranoid,
Clueless, low life, dense, dark,
Freak, mess, lost, disturbing,
Last choice, lost cause, slacker, bag lady,
Chubby, poison, horrible, sleepless,
Cockroach, gullible, sloppy, short,
Joke, cope out, foolish, selfish.

All in one name.

No mistake
will be too big
No problem
No goal
No wrong
As long as we both shall live
we will always
be there together
Changing and growing
Year after year
No excuses here –
No one said it would be
a piece of cake
being married
isn’t easy
if you’re going to make
it work
but it’s worth
the time it takes
not to be
another statistic
in the divorce rate
Dondaycee Nov 2017
Next lifetime just let me be,
All lost souls that noticed me,
Over killed the hope in me,
Helpful hands unnoticed, feet,
Blistering I’m growing weak.
I have questions for the runaways,
How did your feet get so strong?
Why couldn’t I tag along?
Did you leave home to be alone or vice versa, got cold and was searching for warmer days in the week?
What is life without a friend dependent on I,
Is trust nonexistent when there’s a mention of side,
Is it not selfish to love yourself before mind,
A system that houses a light linked throughout time,
“-What do you want?”
For you to love me like you love all.
Look in the mirror, what about this person,
“I’m always here, all you have to do is call”
Where’s the assertion? I’m looking for words because the ones I’m using aren’t working.
Never felt too good in crowds, because there’s folks around, and they’re always thinking,
Never felt too good or proud, when joyful sounds touch my heart before they’re leaving,
“-Loving others isn’t a bad thing, lose the fear, it’s a state of being.
Don’t hate yourself for seeing a reality that others aren’t capable of seeing.”
But, Am I dreaming?
“Do not confuse yourself, you don’t want to lose yourself for dreams are other realities, you are currently in a state of being.”
But what is being?
“To be or not to be is the question.”
… Give me clarity
“Everything is being, it’s all existing, everything existing is living.”
Is this another lesson?
“Is death to exist and not be, or to be and not exist?
That is my suggestion-”
-How can you be and not exist?
“To exist is to have objective reality, a reality that exist independent from our minds.
Consciousness construct realities through imagination in space, which is time,
So, does the world end when we die,
Or does the experience of this reality end and our consciousness move into another reality beyond the human mind?
Would the state of being then not exist after existences?”
Let me go the distance with an analogy to make sure there’s nothing I’m missing.
Is it pain to love in a world that perceive it with ignorance, or to fully understand it and not have the experience?
“A little personal but the balance is understood.”
I just needed some clarity to be reassured,
Because sometimes I’m insecure,
There’s never been a life that’s “similar”,
And I see things in my life that will occur,
Pretty lady, baby don’t you close the door,
With other opportunities of loving me more,
Arkyi, Dondaycee, keep my knees from the ground,
In times I forget to stand, and am feeling less than a man should when his woman’s aroused,
By another… that feeling’s profound.
“-Jealousy found, that energy is not allowed when there’s confusion around.”
Where’s that soothing sound that moved me in dreams,
That had me chasing angels confusing chicken with wings,
Searching for permission in missing some things,
Like the giggle or a touch that slowly faded through change,
Like that love at first sight that never made it to name,
Those “unspoken” relationships that never made it to name,
Those misunderstood moments I forgave and delayed an encounter because I couldn’t forget the feeling she gave before  pain.
Those hideaway hearts is where my shelter remained,
Because they kept the love pure when it was easy to drain.
It isn’t easy to contain let alone obtain a power source linked to the brain and refrain from allowing an equivalent vibration; being fear, creep into the domain and create a disease of insane.
“-Insanity is just as contagious as stupidity-”
-Please explain how to maintain love’s stability when hostility is blurred into a thin line.
Inhumane is humane when the word justify emerges in a reign of ignorance which solidifies the moment the sane become repetitive credited to an infection that dried the terrain of perception,
Unreceptive the brain becomes when love is trying to sustain which leads to strain that results in pain and fear burst as a supernova leading to actions in vain again and again,
Oh lord, the power of a woman.
If men could be before doing, we wouldn’t often do things we “shouldn’t”,
“It’s not a matter of wrong or right but evolving into light.”
Is it odd that I acknowledge you, voice inside my head?
“Just as odd as the words left unsaid before night.”
This solitude thing, it isn’t enough anymore, I need something new.
I learned to love myself from red to blue,
And I just reached purple, now all I see is white,
May that energy continue to heal and rise,
Frequency, continue to create shorter and steeper hills, so that I am able to write,
Documentations of this experience  discovering love that’s unforgettable,
Because self hate should never be unforgivable.
That illness is always hospitable,
The existence of love is aboriginal,
Individually being is medicinal and additional if traditional.
Through ourselves is how we connect to all, an adventure to,
Dive within thyself but too many times I forget myself.
Every time I learn to stand, I project and fall like I forget my shell,
Because it’s easier to live life as light than with the body, odd of me to dismiss my health,
Physical problems; wanting love, a senseless touch; tempted to rush a manifestation of her beside me.
That’s the biggest lie when all I need is I and the being inside me.
If this is a human experience, neglecting the body is a serious condition, mysterious as if ID.O.M and 3D have been misspelled,
Then what is hell?
I thought death doesn’t exist?
“It doesn’t, it’s a reality when the state of being is no longer well.”
To be… or not to be…
“That is a question of wealth.”
Renea Jun 10
Every now and then
harsh words are exchanged
  between you and a friend.
Words so harsh and unforgivable
the friendship seems impossible to mend.
Every now and then
we break promises to our kids
  with every intention of making it up to them
    but the truth is
      they won’t remember your intentions
        only the times you didn’t spend.
Every now and then
we push our partners buttons
   we get into arguments over nothing
    then go to bed and fall asleep
     too mad and stubborn to say “I Love You”.
Every now and then
we take Life for granted
   we don’t appreciate today
     because tomorrow is expected.
Every now and then
we forget Life has an end.
   Until we are unexpectedly reminded
     by the passing of a friend.
        Now wishing you could say “I’m Sorry”
          and help your friendship mend.
By the passing of a child
Now remembering all those broken promises
    and all the time you didn’t spend.
By the passing of a spouse
   Now wanting to tell them you love them
      laying beside them in bed
But now you’re crying yourself to asleep
alone on the couch instead.
You can’t go back and say you’re sorry
You can’t get back the time you didn’t spend
You can’t tell them you love them
And NOW it’s too should of did it THEN.
This came to me after suicide claimed two lives of loved ones around me, just this year. My daughters best friend who was only 17, and my sons best friends father who was only 40. Please check on the ones you love, a simple “how are you? Are you ok? Or anything I can do? “ will probably save someone’s life.
Laura Oct 2018
It’s in a secret folded letter,
in a book somewhere.
Building dust in your,
crusty childhood trauma.

Words like “I’m sorry that
we couldn’t fit together”.
Maybe “I’m sorry that they
didn’t teach you to love better”.

It might say that I just
want you to finally be happy.
You’ll think that’s another one
of my unforgettable darling lies.

But the anger I’ve been feeling
is completely unforgivable.
Making no better reason
to relentlessly forgive.

Seeking lustful validation
is probably my sin.
Seeking your forgiveness
is probably my mistake.

But time is always our cruelist
and truest confessors,
and I have never been betrothed
to anyone, but the truth.
I honestly dont think this adds up to a real message but its something - i also love being blunt and honesty, and also learning to forgive even in pain!!!! seriously!!! positivity!!!
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