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Silence Screamz Jul 2015
Red rain drizzles
Pierced my tongue with dispair
Devil's word in spoken tongue
Torin Jun 2016
My dystopia is a blue and gray painting
A blurry eyed vision of you losing your smile
A slurred and distorted visit to a promise broken
It's watching the wind defeat the ocean
My fears and worries so great
They weigh down my hope
And bring my dreams to an underground dispair
A seven knotted rope becoming a noose
My dystopia is knowing that you love me
A star-crossed heaven and funeral pyres
Its silence and darkness as a home
Its bitter ashes from a dead sun
A black hole that swallows
An empty earth we shared
Finally meeting the event horizon
Its our destruction
My dystopia is the thought you walk
Away and always as all I need
It's watching as you leave me
Forever
Evelyn Silver Dec 2015
The madness, the darkness has come seeping in,
once again I am burdened with my sin,
The thoughts, they swirl in a crazed tempo,
beating against my skull with the desperate fury of a dying heart.

I am drowning under a tide of pensive dispair,
Struggling to even gasp for air,
Oh! I lament my own awareness,
my jealousy is reserved for the blind.

Surely, I must be mad!
How could I not be with such anguish I am clad,
One true question remains.
Will I fade, implode, or explode with such force as to devastate my own?

Run! My darkness is no longer a flame lazing,
but an inferno blazing,
We all have our afflictions, mine is thought.
Shady Teddy Sep 2018
The time has come, for me to fray
the long lost fortune peace and joy
and i peep all around to see a ray
to give me hope and stop to cry
in the face of dispair, i will still try
it feels like hell and i need to fly

am about to burst and am full of thought
then if she left to me its draught
the touch of her hand and a kiss so hot
swimming basking and the fish we caught
fear and doubt with love we fought
she always escaped to what we ought

then came the insighter and he seemed brighter
taking her out and treating her better
Using a phone when i used letters
things were hard especially with a competitor
forgot me complete together with her litter
it seemed to her there was nothing sweeter

after utelizing the better of her best
he disposed her and then left
she had some pain in the chest
when she came in serch for rest
she was mine but we had to test
to avoid being hung like a nest

A drop of blood and a little buffer
recalled how our children would suffer
if through ignorance our life was vapour
my test was a line and my partners twice
why would life be so very  unfair?
her episode was so shortlived

yet she left me huge a burden
to the kids we had i was both parents
just be cause she wouldn't heed
even doctors advice on adherence
all in all i had to say goodbye
coz she was mine for the time we spent

what i am now going through
is a fruit of ignorance and disobedience
my urge my prayer,
that not one falls into the same
it's so easy to say that,
lets avoid the idea of shame
by first escaping the blame
by keeping ourselfs tame.
Amanda Francis Apr 2016
My reclamations lay in the corner: your old hoodie, a book, my memories  resting upon the shelf of youth, collecting dust.
I paw at them as if this was a game, as if I'm waiting in the jungle until someone rolls a 5 or an eight.  
As if jumangi was more than TV crews and cameras.
I drag my finger over the book, leather bound and gold laced pages.
I etch your name in the dust because it's sweeter than any childhood fantasy.
My pregnant mind bulges with a  love that's more fierce than a thousand fire-breathing dragons.
I created a cottage out of pieces of our history,  hidden memories lurk like dwarves.
I wrap myself inside your clothes, fragrance like poisoned Apple's, I breath you in.
I could dream of you for eternity as I accept my "sleeping death".
Alice Kay Nov 2012
i can't take it anymore!

Nothings worth anything...

the dispair grabbs hold of me

dragging me down

...

i don't resist
It takes on deaths horrible form thereunto,
Breaching the seas pensively askew;
Spun brutally from troubling winds of false accord,
Ignored by expression but surely explored.

O 'tis madness, voices beat savagely in my head,
Upon quiet of night as insanely they wilfully imbed.
Through mortal fear I am awakened,
There's nowhere pleasant to run 'tis my chastened.

Of life's despairs nor demons wrathful hold,
Hast thereof nightmares foretold.
In the chilling air, killing heedful wisdoms impaired,
Had I faltered, I'd been sadly unprepared.

Pressed onwards I could only dream,
With care it'd be a future supreme.
Deep in my bleeding thoughts I tried to grasp it,
Yet every brutal bound 'twas likely unfit.

Ah, let evil echo through my disrupting mind,
The faces, that blushed mostly unkind.
A hideous desire inexplicable, entombed from within,
Hastily it beckons thereunto an original sin.

The voices, whose horrid duty I deplore,
Of the old vast despairs it will implore.
But alone I am 'tis surely surpassing a realm of rage,
And all I seen, mattered naught offstage.

Regrettably in the valley of despair I have always lived,
Therefrom I am truly a weltered child deprived.
Onto the rough cobble stones bloodied and quite torn,
That tragic wind, caught in hells uproar forlorn.

A sea of red, kept in an eternal twinge,
Through to agonies I'd impinge.
Ah how they weep, the mystic fools they weep,
In fake smiles these too rustle forth and reap.

Though I'm stirred I cannot follow,
O'er endless toil I as wallow.
Unto violent passions, soaring in tempting extremes,
Of pastures buried, a life in poor redeems.

For nothing concerted I came thereafter seeking,
Every question asked it begged a haggard beseeching.
Thus in a dim labyrinth of lies I found some solace,
Here in the direst valley of despair it's my disgrace.
Stagger Lee Jun 2018
Tired of living in a false paradise of consumption,
suffering everyday our labored prostitution,
trade in your hours for a handful of scraps,
smile while your master puts the cigar out on your back,
this is the workers symphony,
aching joints, aching psyche,
smothered in whiskey to **** the pain,
our autonomous freedom we'll never regain,
slave till you die, laugh till it hurts, your meaning in life, to merely survive,
collect your checks week after week, creative minds stomped out, just smile and drink,
be a good slave except your fate,
it's just the way it is boy get back in your place,
we gravel in dispair, they spit in our face,
we waste our lives away,
on our hands and knees but we just smile and drink,
thinking about breaking these chains,
it's punishable by law,
authority laughs when you die slow for your keep,
with your eyes wide shut,
don't wake your slumber,  
it's all a bad dream,
just go back to sleep,
and forget life's blunder
EmotionalWreck Jul 2017
Allison Kimmey had said that Nobody is fat. We all have it. Some just a bit more than others.

But me. I have too much. Im tired of looking in the mirror trying to convince myself that I am beautiful. How can I just stand there and lie to myself while I'm terrified of my reflection.

Pictures. Doesn't everybody have some. My pictures are aweful. They deserve to be thrown in the firey pitts of dispair.
Dispair. I have so much. It fills my body to the brim and flows out by my feet. Filling the room slowly as I drown in my own saddness.

Self esteem. Everybody has it. Except me. My self esteem has plumitted to its grave so long ago. When those pretty girls called me ugly. When that cool boy called me fat. Everytime I had to look at the size tag on my shirt and it read extralarge. Because I'm just and extralarge girl arnt I.

And just because I have accepted I'm fat doesnt mean it still doeasnt hurt. Just as a man who has accepted he will die still feels that cold running through his veins as if frost were replacing the blood that was spilling out on the pavement.

Every heavy step I make gives a thud sound reminding me of my wieght. Reminding me of the truth.

Hearts. Mine is sick. My heart bears too much. Now let's forget about the heart conditions it holds for a second. And look a bit deeper. Past the scars it holds from judgment too. Past the open wounds from everytime I've lied to myself. Everytime my friends lied to me. Let's go into the deepest darkest place in my heart. The core. Where it's the pride there. You know. The only thing keeping my heart beating. The pride in myself. Though very little, I still have just a bit left.

It tells me to cut. Because only the weak give up. Only the weak die. And I am not weak. I am fat, I am ugly, I am hurt. But I am not weak. Therefore I live. Maybe not the way people want me to. Maybe the scars on my leg and wrist are as ugly as me. But that's okay. Because I'm still alive.

The dispair I'm drowning in is still there, but I found an air bubble of hope. And it won't last me long. I know that. But I have the hope now. Just because of my pride telling me I am not weak. And that is why I live.

But then, the deppression that I thought I had deafeted saw me. And it said that it was never gone. It was always there. And it reminded me that I don't know how to be happy. I've been this way my whole life. It tells me that I don't know how to smile on my own. I fake a smile whenever I know I'm supposed to be happy. When I'm supposed to laugh. I hide behind the mask I made. Because I am afraid. I don't know how to smile. How to laugh. I have to fake it all and it kills me on the inside.

What is happiness. I wouldn't know. Because I am taking my last breath before I'm lost in my dispaire again. The hope is gone and my pride is crushed. What is left to keep my heart beating now?

Lies. The lies I tell myself everytime I have to look at that disgusting thing in the mirror. This is my lie.

"No one is fat. They just have fat. Some more than others."

This is how I'm dead. All emotion drained once again. It floated away as I sank deeper into my dispaire.
Natasha Smith Jun 2013
Im crying
You're lieng
Spying
And dieing
Im not loving or hugging you
Im  mad, never glad
Why am I so blue
Feggyr Citack May 2016
-on the pursuit of happiness

Let me pity your feet,
those innocent souls,
squeezed relentlessy
just for the sake of glory.

Let me balm your feet,
wash away the wounds,
mend what is broken,
soothing mute dispair.

Let me lay my forehead
on top of your toes.
Let them gently
speak their wisdom.

And I will go and join, again,
the madness of this world.

But let me feel the earth
in this crazy pirouette,
our reaching up, up, up:
digging deep, while scraping skies.
tom krutilla Mar 2017
When sadness clutches your heart
and you mind knows not were to start
When every sound and touch evades
look in my eyes, I'll make your sanity remade

If dispair brings fear and its many tears
and if you seek the truth, but it disappears
when every sound and touch evades
Look in my eyes, I'll make your sanity remade

Your eyes watch what words you say
to others, yet they keep them at bay
you wonder if your in this life to stay
Look in my eyes, I'll make your sanity remade

The newness of the morn, the chatter of the birds
starts a new beginning to melt away the hurts
hope is always in you, never goes away
look in my eyes, I'll make your sanity remade

Look deep inside you, you won't hide no more
For I'm the savior you've been waiting for
I'll dry your tears, chase away your fears
all the sounds and touch with me appear
I'll be the one to hold your heart
guide you to my bay, in hopes you'll stay
Who knew I could fancy a man to care
No one had ever dare to rise to the    
     occasion
And now
I am the apple of his eye
No matter
       How I feel
             What I wear
He wants my affection and love when  
     I'm not there
He sleeps with me till dawn on  
   occasion
Showing me he cares
I am the apple of his eye
No matter
       If I'm teary eyed
           If I'm flying free without a care
I know that he is there
In his silent way
Sometimes with a touch and hot kiss
By the hand or loop of my pant
   When another has had to much of  
    my time or attention
He reals me back into his arms
I am the apple of his eye
He'll never let me forget
No matter
       Our breaking points
                Pits of dispair
No matter
       How much I doubt
               He would set me free
     But,    I am the apple of his eye
Like he said before many times in all
                          honesty.
"I'll find you no matter where you go. You're the one that I love. You're the one worth fighting for."
Jeremy Betts Oct 2022
With the flippant fear of a proudly clueless onlooker, another forgettable observer
I stare out over the breaking waves to see if I can't see a few things clearer
In a sense in search of innocents and the essence of this monstrous heckler I've been entrusted to not only tame but conquer
Maybe find bits and pieces of meaning here or there for this opaque character and it's seemingly insignificant blip on life's radar
They say all of our lives are important and as a whole they are, for sure, but A life, singular, doesn't even measure
On a timeline reaching back past the beginning of forever to the outer limits of what we know so far it can't possibly matter
Somewhere in there is an answer but I swear, don't let it be just another jump scare
I can bare no more, take me outta here becomes the newly revised prayer screamed into the ether
I'm not the star here, nor did I properly prepare for the cameo roll in my own B movie disaster picture.
I've done what was asked of me even when not fare, even as the nightmare went unchecked, haunting my every endeavor.
If this is expected to go on for the foreseeable future how much of my downfall am I going to be held accountable for?
Every battle the same as the one before, it can be torcher but y'all clap with the desire for an encore
Like your entertainment and the roar of the crowd is what I'm just barley holding on for
Then the face of an absent father figure puts a untimely hand on my shoulder, a whisper of congrats for making it though yet another war
That's every **** day sir, so excuse me for not going out of my way to carpe any of those diems mother fuucker
At the same time
I was so sure that I was finally able to procure the mindset to endure my own lour
But nobody seemed to eager to tell me that reality is a relentless attention *****
Making sure to hide the shore and provide only a broken ore to navigate a sea of insecure insecurities hell bent on devouring my core
Can't help but to take a little more than a fare share when there's so much dispair and dispair is their preferred flavor
And that's what I'm in store for, give or take some gore just to mitigate the bore
Remove all signs of the cancer and watch the stock soar, can't prosper dragging a dead weight anchor
Cut ties and wave goodbye to the failure, take out the pinch hitter cause that personality wasn't any better
A life changer for the better, now willing and wanting to keep score as a reminder of how bad it was before
Never again let the dark passenger take the wheel and steer, unless it's to steer clear
Forget looking backward, remove the rearview mirror and note the side mirror as truth, the atrocities are far closer than they appear
Tossin' small bits of anarchy out the driver side window, flipping the bird and quoting the Raven, "nevermore."
But I forgot why for

©2022
Mae Jan 2019
Problems are here and there.
They are everywhere.
Making our minds full and aware.
Her soul to dispair.
~
Death is nice.
~
Daniel Tabone Dec 2014
I lie in my bed, alone,
Only you are on my mind,
I hope you think of me as well,
As much as I think of you;

I sit at my desk,
Skype on all the time,
Waiting for you,
To come back online;

Last message I sent,
Was an hour ago,
I’m sick of waiting,
But where would I go;

I receive a message,
And my heart skips a beat,
Words full of sweetness,
Start shuffling in my seat;

I want to tell you something,
But I’m scared of what would come,
You could get scared,
You could be hurt,
I can’t lose you,
You are priceless to me;
We chat along,
As real good friends,
The secrets I keep,
Are clawing at me;

Pretend I have none to say,
Pretend all is cool,
I’m screaming,
I’m feeling,
My tears fill a pool;

Time to sleep,
Time to leave,
I hug my pillow hard,
Pretend that it’s you,
I’m just a fool,
Trying not to heave;

This is my never ending cycle,
My feelings never changing;
Georgiana S Dec 2012
The dawn has this texture
Of long endured pains
With perfume of silent dusks.

For how long will the wind venture
Between long forgotten remains,
With scent of violent dusks?

The rain has this arenaceous texture
When there aren't any eyes to cry,
The silence is a mild creature,
A friend if needed, but still a lie...

And the shadow blinded my senses.
My feelings on Procust's bed
My mind destroying fences
Of the uncouncious, of the dead.

The pain within me tear apart
The innocence and my heart
Into millions of serpents
Devouring each other,
Creating Chaos -

And many other
Molecules of poison
Are released in the air,
Despite my crying and dispair...

Have you tasted?
My weakness have this texture
Of salty vapors in the sky,
Or a peace of the black eye.

...and a perfume of a departed soul -
Somewhere, far from human senses.
A dying forest needs a forest fire
The flames smoldering hot
Slowly decomposing the weeds
As well as the living inhabitants

Nothing is forever
Once the flames have gone
From the ashes and remains
Arises new life and abundance

It is then that the lonely forest
can flourish in rebirth and
become stronger than before.

A lonely human needs suffering
The pain smoldering hot
Slowly tearing at your heart
Decomposing the ego

But nothing is forever
Once the dispair has gone
From your soul
Arises knowledge and strength

It is then that the lonely human
Is free in rebirth and
Becomes stronger than before.
We cannot control nature and the cycles of life, we must feel all emotions and embrace them. Let yourself fall but remember to pick yourself back up. Do not expect anyone else to do this for you. Strength comes from within.
Georgiana S Aug 2011
White skin
Molded in black light
Crystal tears
Faded in dark wine -
Innocent fears
Crypted in a muddy dawn,
White, white veils
Of the black, black soul.

Soothing tired rays...
The ashes of canescent shadows
In black blankets
Of white memories, thoughtless days
Melodies, phantasms of whispers -
Too late, too soon...dispair.

They all appear in strange ways,
Mixed feelings in a maze
Drowned in a deep silence -
Deaf screams in a corner.
Transparence...
A black mind, the disorder.

A life between agony and death,
A death betweem sunrise and health,
Vision between a mirror and a trigger
Freedom between bars and linger
Dreams between blindfolds and handcuffs
Thirst hiding beneath a sea of cups
Hunger lieing in corners with bread bits
Perfect love dieing where it fits.

Black and white,
Silence and screams
Numbness, too many feelings...
Eyes wide open, but locked inside.
I've lost the key
To a true reality
Beyond these mesmerizing dawns
They're not true, they're not false...
There's no sun, there's no moon
Too late, then too soon
Trying to fake and not to see
There's no sunrise in the whole of me.
Copyright Georgiana.S 2011
Rachel Cloud Aug 2014
Am I lost or broken?
To be fixed or be forgotten?
Perhaps it's just the same to me,
My mind was misbegotten

Is the ice outside or in?
Has the rot seeped through?
Is my heart shattered or bruised?
Is it all the same to you?

Leave me here or leave me there
One way or another
Whisper quiet in your ear
"You always did so smother."
Zaineb Nov 2018
Mirror mirror on the wall
Am I this ugly?
Or I’m I imagining this all?

Mirror mirror are you there?
I need your help
Don’t let me sink into dispair

Mirror mirror tell me please
I’m I this awful?
Or is it really a mental disease?

Mirror mirror you’ve taken too long
Answer a simple question
Do I really look this wrong?

Mirror mirror whatever your answer will be
I’ve now decided not to care
And to set my soul free...
Rochelle Bourque Nov 2014
Cold and unfeeling,
The future seems freezing,
You left me alone,
Now there's no place to call home.

You said you would never leave,
Now I'm like dust on your sleeve,
Just brush me off,
And leave me with but a scoff.

Don't look back now,
You're such a bleeping cow,
Don't look at me with those pitying eyes,
You were the one who fed me lies.
Krison Nov 2018
It was of the sand,
That found for me to stake upon this gamble of a purpose.
To onward journey, stout of heart, within it lines to draw and part
and dedicate my time to all that live and then depart.

And subjugate the sin of wait.
Dare i chance alignment.
To spite the constant vein of me.
That of constant bye.

For it was within the sands.
That truth illuminated
Divining is of destruct and of grand endeavor.
Those were lessons I to learn.
Yet warnings seen, but not to heed.

So to venture bold, embark.

Here I found myself about, a place that i not know.
Lacking proper courtesy that guides the proper tongue.
At a time of caving doubt in youth while throwing caution.
Such foolishness and acts so grave with naivete.

So of this, my letting go and future now to grasp.
Then of me to newer name and shed of me my past.

That led me to a village, shambled as it small.
Oh so sharp in all contrast,
To all i'd ever known.

And then to her so small of frame
with trouble trembling.

Did I find, i've much of want and more to givings be.

The hope I find within her eyes.
Those burning eyes aglow.
Yet shaking did i look to see, the grief she held alone.

For she with nails so black and pained
with eyes of sapphires ancient flame.
Screamed, "anne nerde"?

To this I said within my lip.
My English voice that caused such shock.
"hello", and then ,"who, you"?

And puzzled as i've not the faintest
slight that cause her hate
and run away and then dismiss
or understanding me.

That left me to the mighty awe, and my stupidity.

"Am i the image of the anger, she must see everyday,
A reminder there's tomorrow, or of horrors yesterday"?

Faintly nothing can be had, so i had chanced hello.
This is me and who are you.
And her away to go.
So i was lost to all the why,
and all who heard it so.

Then to suspect, short of counsel and left of reason why.
I shatter peace with solace small and and watch you drain your eye.

So to all that spun around
with jaws so slack with shock.
Made of this a curse and huddle?
Of what, they they took of stock?

They must be of the panic.
They must be many dead
And this is now my crucible
and now i know there dread?

" How dare i cause such great alarm? in such fleeting passing
" i said hello, only hello
and then, but"who are you"?.


All but mine
All faces white blood.

And then the moment shock!

For then i heard, "olu"!!!

"For I said, hello and who ," but she heard only death.

And forgiveness in this place
Was shown not least the trace.

Awaken this, the anger, rage  the mighty great temult.

For announced by all around  
"You utter with most care.

This place if of the teetering
and none dare hear dispair."

So please a caution with your greeting.
For broken hearts here tear

And the tokens of your kindness,
Can be swallowed up in here
Its brought to doom, this little girl by violence and it's snare
Was brought to this, by fault of tounge
bignine and shambled care.

Then better us
To purse a lip
And hope the slight be small,
The reaping can be had
But never excise fault
It is of divinty
So pray we judgment halt.
This is of the manner known
Yet are still unseen

For all the slights be large or small
None are are fully owned


And All the workings good of heart
Must be done 
and done discreet.
some of this is in turkish
DaRk IcE Dec 2015
Another sleepless night has me wrapped up in its undeniable embrace
Squeezing ever so tighly as to steal breathe with every inhale
Mind wandering on every avenue known to maps on a never ending journey
Desire for sleep multiplying like fast acting bacteria with no antidote
In despairs wing restrained and bound to my bed
Most
Cruel
Punishment
Jeremy Betts Oct 2022
I followed the order handed over to the T, I swear, I checked every square inch of the interior in that musty, empty chamber as well as the outer perimeter
And, just to make sure to cover all of our bases, a land surveyor calculator was used so no one would have to return to confirm the number later
He soulda, woulda, coulda but didn't prepare for the worst,  should have taken ques from one of them openly mocked doomsday prepers
Just in the event there was no search and rescue coming together to push the radius wider
I'll say this, there's nothing you could compare to what was in there other than a twisted flair of a taboo desire for a living nightmare
Keeping it honest here, there was no proper way too decipher if pain or anger fed the monster in turn fueling the inner and outer warfare
After all this time the why is still unclear like an over exposed Bigfoot picture under the blur of an out of focus layer with the top half blacked out by a fat finger
It's mostly ever operator error, there's no proof of any attempt to even remove the lense cover
Resulting in snap shots that fully render the emptiness of a gut wrenching, heart breaking type of forever
Walking through the bare walled entry erected the neck hair, instantly on anticipatory high alert, predicting a jump scare
I'd never go back there but if you dare, prepare to soil your underwear, best to bring an extra pair
It's far eirrer in there than I imagined it'd be with the unbalanced nature of finding tragedy has bled into the comedy so frustration and the for mentioned anger seemed not only justified but fair
One might expect a shrill chill to fill the air befitting the general atmosphere likened to the hollow echo of an abandoned aviator hanger
There was an uneasy stillness in the helplessness seemingly coming from nowhere and everywhere
The nonconsentual caress of chaos looked to have been ramped up a gear, allowed to feast on the bounty of self loathing and fear
I don't know if you could consider one over the other being better while not sure who's the bigger threat, the dark passenger or driver?
Neither should have been allowed to steer especially after the request to hold so and so's beer
Looks like nothing penetrated the barrier inside each ear that, according to the guest sign in on the counter here, had been garded by a couple demon friends made during his very first winter
Just prior to the proverbial greener pasture being engulfed by an arsons fire lit by the land owner
And oh how it wreaked of dispair, heavily punctuated by the stench of failure
It lingered like a stocker predator peering over top the chip and bolder on what's been dubbed an unworthy shoulder
Progressively more violent as the one under investigation grew older, evidence shows a temper that consistently boiled over
The life destroyers lurkin' behind every door down a never ending corridor, waiting in the cover of darkness found around every corner
You don't know from where but can hear screams of terror as you pass a single motivational poster that reads, "being dead inside will allow for the skipping over of the coroner all together"
Buyer beware, this particular first stair is a header, the warnings couldn't have been clearer
A lack of empathy stains character but if lead by example it's plain to see why someone might refuse to care
Or would even know how to for that matter, solely focused only on the neighbor who's grass is forever advertised as greener
Didn't do the work on the personal endeavor so it didn't get any better, attitude towards it all seemed very cavalier
An obvious what not to do trend setter, a self proclaimed and locally agreed on idiot of the year
Missed all this YOLO banter, acting like a pop of the trunk would reveal a spare
Who's life is it really if you're not even a content creator in it much less the engineer
Come to think of it I don't recall that even bein' offered up to this poor sap as a qualifying career
It should be but that's neither here nor there, what's done is done and every other cliche you can pull out of the air
To put it simply, he wasn't known as a fighter so he threw in the towel and tossed innocence out with the bath water
The belief that life was beyond repair was a thought he struggled to alter, positivity was something he never learned how to gather, had a horrible teacher
It didn't help hearing a proper confirmation message from both a soothsayer and palm reader with no reassurance from his supposed maker
Proof that it's always safer to separate judge, jury and executioner, it's a no brainier
But he wore all three hats plus at his core was a sinner, it could've been his last meal every time he sat down for dinner
So he no doubt knew there was no scenario where a man like himself was gonna come out the winner
And now that I've seen the bizzar aftermath from every angle I can say with far more confidence than when I began to explore that I don't know how he managed to even get this far
The violence was real, the battles weren't staged, it raged on behind the fleshy mask he wore to keep us from witnessing the horror
But every day his anchor to a brighter reality got weaker, thoughts and surroundings becoming darker faster than he could remember from the days before
One can only be expected to hold on for so long when you're the nail trying to resist the hammer
He was neither hero nor imposter, just the next mother fuucker to fall victim to his own future
OnlyEggy Mar 2010
When the age gets up there,
and you start to dispair,
when you look in the mirror,
and your lack of your hair...

Do not cry or whine
as your dome starts to shine
there are thing you can do
to make you look fine

If you are good with your age some
then grab a comb
and comb your hair over
the bald spot on your dome

If you don't mind extra attention
then shave it for inspection
then grab the wax
and wax for good reflection

But if shaving and combing like that
have you worried that they will laugh at
the big spot on your head
then just put on a hat.
My take on my math instructor and his awesome comb-over.
Arielle Dawn Apr 2016
Sweet baby
Forgive me

I have sinned
A strayed from your love

Tenderness like a nightlight
In the darkness at the age of five

You give me warmth
I give you butterflies

Without you
Dispair is but an endless routine

Life filled with
Broken rose petals

Glitters
Fluttering hearts unseen

Lean your head
On my chest

I promise you
My heart will beat
thomas Nov 2015
The late afternoon sun shines amber rays upon a silent grasshopper.
A profound event is under way.

In the woodland's soft loam, mama grasshopper has planted her eggs, the ****** of a brief, worthwhile life.  Having evaded field mice, mantids, lizards, snakes, and birds, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED - almost.

In this little patch of sunlight, it is her time to "donate" to Mother Ecosystem.  It's an honor she shares with the butterflies, bees, squirrels, gnats, toads, termites, foxes, deer, hawks, robins, ants - and let us not leave out microbes and fungi.

Now sugar ants have discovered her and are dismantling, tugging, dragging her away in parts, reminiscent of an automobile salvage.  

Wayward workers stumble into ant lions' pits and become meals themselves.

The old, hollow white oak log, once mighty King of the Forest, is prostrate and bare.  Yet, with its last molecule, it continues giving.  Within its hollow, a disparate multitude is moving about, hiding, hunting, chewing, defecating, sleeping, reproducing and dying. 

In decomposition, the oak's material essence  melds back into the earth as nature's great Round River,*  an incomprehensibly slow, invisible tide.

It is late spring and waves of woodland sounds are pulsing through the community.  Cicadas shrill chorus fills the air. Distant flocks of song sparrows and warblers combine in a cloud of chirps. Above it all is the sharp tapping of a  woodpecker.

A charred fence post has become prime real estate:  a coveted,grand perch for phoebes and jays, and for a fence lizard, an elite high rise station for sunbathing and attracting a mate.  Mating azure damselflies dance in the air above the lizard.  They alight for a moment - snatched!  Above, a circling red-tail hawk eyes the lizard.

Across a draw stands an abandoned farm, tragic end result of disrespect for the land.  Goodbye sweet, precious loam, created over millennia.  You are being carried away with each rain.  Where, on where are you going?  
To brooks, rivers and the sea.

On a bleak ridge, a few oak tree survivors huddle together as they endure relentless grazing.  This parcel of land has nothing to offer anymore.  If you were to listen to the wind, you might hear its whispers of dispair.

But here, in this vibrant, buzzing woodland community where the land breathes life, there is home, food and an ideal place for all.

*  Words coined by Aldo Leopold, pioneer American ecologist, conservationist, and educator
Second Wind May 2017
Block - unblock - block
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

It seems like you are playing musical chairs,
I am free of you, but when the music stops.
When the world grows silent,
You sit in my mind again.

Unblock and stare at the words proclaiming "online"
Curiosity crawling up my spine.
Wondering if you ever opened our chat and stared as well.

Block - unblock - block
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

Every time I see you
I feel we can start afresh, anew.
You smile, I smile.
We try to remain in denial.

We go on as just friends
We finally make amends
We pretend nothing happened.
Then something happens

My heart flutters,
But nothing can come of it,
So it shatters
I locked it again, but you are a skilled lockpick.

unblock - block - unblock
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

I wait for your message to arrive,
You're no longer blocked, you're alive.
But it never comes,
I become numb.

My dreams are black,
Because if I sleep too deep,
I might miss your message back.
The memories creep.

I can see them sneaking over the fence,
Maneuvering through every defense,
Until it stands like a shadow learing over my bed.
A demon stuck in my head.

Block - unblock - block
Heart opened, heart shattered, heart locked.
Mind screaming, silent dreaming
Mind hushed, dreams rush.

I am almost over you.
I have almost made it through
This tormented affair
This maze of dispair.

The memory of you no longer walks with me down the street,
I don't see you in the places we used to meet.
Your face doesn't burn in the back of my head,
But now you have crawled into my dreams instead.

My mind is working through the last bit,
But I am so exhausted.
So tired of fighting guilt and shame,
So tired of breaking all over again
Whenever I hear your name...

Block - delete number
Heart broken, heart shattered, but heart finally locked.
Mind screaming, but screaming a different song.
All of the dreams are finally gone.

It is over.
Verdae Geissler Sep 2012
I feel

someone

tossed

me down

a

neverending

dark

hole

had

doors

lead

to

rooms

de­corated

with

heartbreak

and

dispair

rooms

have

windows

th­ough

*****

from

neglect

of

age

an’

cobbwebs

peeking

thro­ugh

weakened

cracking

broken glass

window

eyes

saw

only

grave

storms

stones

and

rain
­
desolation

oh and

pain

clouds

frown

as

the wind

blows

cold

eyes

see

black and white

The

soul

absorbs

*****

truth

darkened

rooms

reveal
­
emptiness

filled

with

lies

no

space inside

for

another

box

of tears

stacked

floor

to ceiling

why

no stairs

fireplaces

no

longer

hold

flames.

rocking chair

too

weak

for

comfort.

sofa

stuffed

with

screaming

­memories

of

life

before

the push

mirrors cry

for

the

girl

trapped within

rooms

of

dust.

in

the

hole.

I was pushed…..
Poetic T May 2014
A dim light is seen in my despair,
I run towards it but it gets further
away, I run till my lungs burn but
it is but a pinprick, teasing me that
there is some way out of this room
I'm locked in my own despair.

I walk away and look over my
shoulder,  its back where it was. I
was in a room that surrounded me
in black, the walls were my despair.
I would not let the light trick me,
feeding my desperation, a trick of
the mind as I had to find my own
way out of there.

So I clawed at the wall, showed it  
I had strength, the scratch became
a gouge and then the bricks became
lose. They did eventually fall, I
was trapped for what seemed a life
time, behind this walled room of
darkness but I released myself.

Now I walk in the light, always
knowing that the room I was in
could swallow me again, I just
had to be stronger and not give
in to my despair.
Georgiana S Jan 2011
"Whatever happens
It just happens
For a reason"...so they say.
Who are they?
They are words alike those runes
Always belonged to an odyssey
Old, dusted and ruins
As time quickly flies by...
Uncertain truths and misguided lies needled its core,
While each vowel screams for more vanity...forever more...
These paper scrolls will be shortly forgotten in time,
No matter if the reason is fair -
These dogmatic words shout with dispair:
Whatever happens,
It just happens
For a reason...

A candy jar shines in the dance of a silver light
It sprinkled fearless, outside the window...for my own delight.
Oh, Night! You're a mystic fairy, the solace of my pain...
Why should I let you go, when daylight is in vain?
Should I let you pass by
Forever as a remembrance, like a childish lullaby?
You are meant to "just happen"...
Crushing my struggle and my being's denial,
Time has got me savage punishments in its dial,
Despite its flawless eternity.

Where did I go wrong?
I was born with tragic hopes in my blood,
Craving and sining for a drop of the eternal astral flood
Praying for my existance, nightly...
While dreams suddenly crush into the ashtray,
I am still here...wearing sable made of my thoughts, day by day...
I was born
And it just happened
For a reason...
copyright 2010 Georgiana.S
Stacy Ward Feb 2015
I closed my eyes again last night,

Hoping for dreams of the misery I love so much

The kind you can only bring

The sweet, cold touch of your fingers

Or the disgustingly loving sound of your spiteful voice

Anything to get me out of this terrible nightmare

But there's no feeling here but perpetual numbness

As I lay here staring into the darkness

My lungs grow heavy with the cries I've stifled,

With the frigid breaths that I dare not breathe in your presence

Even though you're gone now

And there's only an empty space where you once sat beside me

I can't do anything here by drown

Filling the room with my tears so that I'm left

Drowning again in the unbarable sea of silence

That you had found me in so long ago

Holding me by that delicate thread

And dangling me above the water's edge

I believed so much in the light you gave me

But it was blinding and by the time you had let me go

I was already deeply submerged under the surface of my dispair once again

My eyes locked hazily on the distant figure of you as you left

But drowning is a hobby of mine

And I'll do it again tomorrow night
Padan Fain Aug 2015
Time is finding a way

To lose itself


Out there in the space



Between the stars




Time is finding a way





Without me
2012-07-27
Butch Decatoria Apr 2017
Take it from me youngster, figuratively
I literally have no possessions

But surely learn from your mistakes
More of less of those encounters

More experiences without the hate
Alive and happy thankful just to be

So youngster now take it from me,
My experiences stand ahead you...

Live life for the truth of you,
There is serenity in being happy

Real joy is honest a being
Who exudes the love of Life, a light

That is the truth of You know Who
Soul that is a River

Doubtless we began, now to see
The construct of brotherly peace,

A lovely existence without this drowning pearl
The suffocation of our miracle world

Take it from me, youngster
You only rob yourself of illumination

I've been stealing from my own me?
If nothing else no one will dispair

When no one cares to wake
Time will cease, when no one watches

Pay close attention to the joy,
The life you have pretended decoy

Live like you love to live your life,
Truly utterly free

Breathe each minute passing
With thankful joyful and sincerely

Returning the gift of chi
Most positively the peace we send out

Just be mindful youngsters,
We make our own hells mouth

Chose to be enlightened
Be youthful and truly speak freely

Alright youngster ? take it from me
I wish you everlasting

Peace.
Elisha Malisha Dec 2013
The clouds,
scattered and dashed by magnificent glowing orange
more vivid than the pain of love.
The towering oaks,
like black lace against a fiery distance
more intricate than human hands could weave.
My heart,
inspired, stilled, and heavy
more longing than ever before.
If I could only follow this setting peace,
to grasp, and hold, this ever fading brilliance,
to bask in this ever sinking glory.
But... this is the draw.
only but a moment of glory,
only but a taste of heavenly glow.
This... is dispair.
slowly, yet surely, watching heaven fade,
afraid to look away lest the beauty be wasted.
But is also hope.
Hope of the glory that will slowly, yet surely return.
Sometime it will cease to sink.
Oneday the color will only intensify, never fade.
Until then... we continue to long,
savoring in pain,
from taste to taste.
Diverseman2020 Jan 2010
What a joyous morning smile
Waking up to beauty
Rolling out of bed
To find myself alone
Closets are empty as I search
Leaving me with shredded threads
And scraps of dispair
Hangers
Are her symbol of imprudent
Reackless cuts with scissors
We shared a magic moment
Pouring wine from the finest vintage
Across the land
Toasting
This magnificent creature
While I'm seduced as a drunk
We slumbered as one
But passionate as jackals
A night of remembrance
Has jeopardized me
How can I repay the apparels of a friend?
jennifer ann Jul 2014
you
you're aching, and tragicly breaking.
living your life in dispair.
your praying, and you're waiting,
for someone who doesnt care,
he was never really there.

you're burning, and you're yearning,
for him to come through,
stop wasting all your time on him,
and just start loving you.
ty all so much for likeing my poem im very flattered! :D

— The End —