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Evelyn Silver Dec 2018
I pace back and forth
Needing to move, needing do
By my own designs I am trapped
For I am the architect of my own life, no one owns me
I'm not free though
Its quite the beautiful cage I've designed myself
With gilded promises of happiness I coaxed myself in
I should have known that golden shackles are still shackles
Evelyn Silver Apr 2018
I proclaim myself independent, proud, firmly in control,
What a deception.
I want nothing more than to abandon every shred of independence,
In place of you.
I beg you to see your my feeble attempts to distance myself from you,
Seize me.
I know you’ll probably just end up hurting me all over again,
I care not.
I take such a lurid pleasure in surrendering to another,
Despite the consequences.
I feel shackled by my own autonomy and pride,
Free me.
Evelyn Silver Oct 2016
I hasten towards you,
Induced into some fit of self destruction;
Shouldn't I know better by now*?
  Aug 2016 Evelyn Silver
We either become sadder
Or our heart beats become louder
My heart,
My heart is eating so fast my bones are tingling
Vibrating through my veins
My blood stream is failing
I think too much
I don’t pray enough
Lost touch with the angels
The angels lost me
Forgetting this
Words are words by choice
Awkwardly complicated
Passionate souls intertwined in chaos
Beautiful chaos
My hands are shaking, they can’t stand still
I overdo it with coffee, I over did it.
Can’t handle my life sober
So much ****** up **** in the world
Smart people seem like crazy people to dumb people
And if you believe you can change the world
You’re one of a kind.
  Aug 2016 Evelyn Silver
I don't want you
But I want you to want me
To be stuck in a grey limbo
Pineing for me for all eternity.

I don't want you
But I want to haunt you
Like a wraith
Constantly reminding you of every last touch.

I don't want you
But I want to be the voice in your head
Whispering reminisions
Of everything you will never have again.

I don't want you
But I sure as hell don't want
Anyone else to have you.
Evelyn Silver Aug 2016
Love, such a sweet fragile thing
Everlasting, but short-termed
A commitment to care
A recipe for disaster.
Evelyn Silver May 2016
I'm terrified
Standing on the edge
Unsure if the fall
Will yield pleasure or pain.

My feet inch forward
Even as I lean backward
My mind, my heart are torn
One fears, the other desires.

Will I take flight
Wings of freedom
Glorious, fiercely beautiful
Holding me aloft
Giving me new strength
Soaring to unknown heights?

Will I fall instead
The terrible moment
Before the impact
Where one anticipates
The soon reality
Shattered bones
Crushed hope
Bottomless depths?

Am I willing to jump
Even for you?
Is the risk worth it?
Are you worth it?

I feel the fragile earth
Beneath my feet
The empty air calls to it
My choice may be made
Decided by fate
Sealed without my consent
As the earth gives
Into the void
I fall to you
In love
The chasm is filled.
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