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Stacy Ward Feb 2015
A Father's love is unconditional
Without question or cause
Even when you get knocked down
It's there to fix you up

A Father's love is special
As not everyone is lucky enough to have one
And those that do don't say it enough
Just how special it is

A Father's love is strong
Like a steal beam or a rock
There to support you
When nothing else can

A Father's love can drive away fear
Protecting you from the darkest of demons
Keeping you away from things
Dangerous and unknown

But you aren't a Father.
You push your children over the edge of fear
Ripping that support out from under them
And never telling them how precious they really are

You aren't a Father.
You're the very thing
You were supposed to protect them from;
A monster.
Stacy Ward Feb 2015
I hate how much power I have over you
And that I choose not to use it
I hate that you say I don't ask for things
When, in truth, I'm selfish
I hate how you see what I want you to
And you never try to look past it
I hate seeing you happy
Knowing that I will never be
I hate watching you have fun
And that I have no such freedom
I hate how I can never be as good as you
And believe me, I've tried life on that side
I hate how you can just go with the flow
While I'm struggling keep up and not to drown
I hate it when you're nice to me
When I've done nothing to deserve your kindness
I hate you for saying I'm a good person
When, in truth, I'm just a cynical wretch
I hate how much I've had to go through
And that I just keep walking like nothing's wrong
I hate how you loved the lie
And never the real me.
But I love how you won't give up on me
Even if I hate to say it
Stacy Ward Feb 2015
It's there
It has always been there
Staring you in the face
But you can't see it
You never could
You've always just shut your eyes
And turned away
But it never did
That pitiful creature,
Always looking at you
With such blind admiration
How could it love you?
Be so devoted to you?
The one who lied
The one who abandon it
All of it was your own fault
Because you couldn't look at it
And only now do you realize
That you could never just leave it
For it is you, and you are it
So go ahead
Turn around
And look at that liar
That façade
That empty husk
It won't say anything
It's just your reflection
Stacy Ward Feb 2015
I can run all I want

I can hide

I can scream and cry and pound the walls

With my knuckles bruised

From fiercely protecting your happiness

It won't change anything though

I needed closure

But this world we live in

Has gone into a turbulant riot

And left us torn apart

On different ends of the spectrum

All that I see

All I do

It's all black and white

Just like it used to be

But this time, it's splashed with red

And you're not here

I needed closure

Yet, all I got was wounded
Stacy Ward Feb 2015
I closed my eyes again last night,

Hoping for dreams of the misery I love so much

The kind you can only bring

The sweet, cold touch of your fingers

Or the disgustingly loving sound of your spiteful voice

Anything to get me out of this terrible nightmare

But there's no feeling here but perpetual numbness

As I lay here staring into the darkness

My lungs grow heavy with the cries I've stifled,

With the frigid breaths that I dare not breathe in your presence

Even though you're gone now

And there's only an empty space where you once sat beside me

I can't do anything here by drown

Filling the room with my tears so that I'm left

Drowning again in the unbarable sea of silence

That you had found me in so long ago

Holding me by that delicate thread

And dangling me above the water's edge

I believed so much in the light you gave me

But it was blinding and by the time you had let me go

I was already deeply submerged under the surface of my dispair once again

My eyes locked hazily on the distant figure of you as you left

But drowning is a hobby of mine

And I'll do it again tomorrow night
Stacy Ward Feb 2015
There's no feeling here
Just perpetual numbness
And empty space
Where you once stood beside me
Keeping me warm with
Your promise of friendship
But the wind is fierce and unrelenting
Blinding me with the frigid whiteness
Of ***** snow
Yet, I reach out to your 'perfect' figure in the distance
My icy fingers grasping nothing
As I silently pray for things to return
To the way they used to be
So that I can feel the thawing rays of my sun

But all the warmth is gone

And all I feel is cold.

— The End —