Little girl, big brimmed hat,
alone, with suitcases, travelling to boarding school she sat.
Wanting to be embraced by loving arms,
reassuring tones, peaceful pungent breaths, she calms,
but, the war loomed outside,
and onwards she tried.
The constant Chameleon: hairdresser, interiors, reporter and healer,
now, the season of inner healing to transform into a counsellor.
But, it’s the true counsel she heeds,
to transform from the wounds that bleed.
May she hear from You, Emmanuel; the One who truly heals.
May You lovingly embrace and hold all she feels.
May the little girl grow up into the woman You imagined,
And may she bloom into a lush garden with seeds You've planted.

My tent pegs expand,
As I ride.
Wind glides over my skin,
Fear has no place to hide.

A foreigner in my childhood town,
Obstacles abound; pride.
But I don't give in,
I ride. Troubles subside.

You don’t scare me any more!
You're just hot air,
Good only for (hot air) balloons.
So, rather than running away and hiding,
I will not jump into your basket, and
Ride your highs.
I will see the mountains, and
Leave you behind.
Because that is what your furry does,
Drive people away so they do not see,
You on the inside.
A small, scared little child.
So no more!
Come outside.
Come ride up high
Away from that anger you
Try so hard to hide.
From this new vantage point,
See, open your eyes, and
Let heaven and earth collide.

This is life!
Living right now, every win, mistake,
Not heaven.
Don't be afraid, there's give AND take.
You don't have to be perfect!

This is life!
Every high and every ******,
******* low.
Don't be afraid, embrace the gritty;
Experiences that forge your character.

This is life!
The acclaim, blame, shame and every moment, just the same,
Can be refrained and reclaimed
Don't be afraid of happiness
And joy, life's not perfect!

From the alarm
to Instagram,
FB,
TikTok
and beyond…

The external world is screaming:
Watch me!
Follow me!
I’ll show you where you belong!

We’ve been led, by the piper, into 'other' consciousness --

Happily, we submit to its authority
Because this world is too much.

We stuff every gap,
every silence
with ******-fanatic thoughts, slap!
Running further from our true selves --

How did we get swallowed up
in this chasm of chants;
That said we are not enough?

It’s time to do something revolutionary!
It’s time to sit in silence;
Befriend the bewildering quietness,
And accept with loving kindness.

There’s much more going on in my life,
Than just in this moment.
There’s a bigger story at large,
The story involves love and atonement.

Not just a job, a husband or health restoration,
But eternity.
Lift your eyes,
Keep them fixed above and not on modernity.

Go deeper still,
Get in under your skin,
Go to the heart,
And let true life begin.

The mind is amazing,
But it can often get us fixed.
On things of this world,
So lift your eyes higher to the mystery betwixt.

Accolades have been my fortress
Comparisons my torturer,
Liberation seemed unreachable,
daunting under duress,
A well-chosen ***, destined for my future....

Venturing the path trodden less
Seemed anxiety-provoking; insane
A roaring lioness,
but with the mouse hidden in my mane.

Held just the same, but
Hoping, wishing to drop them; release the pain
Dreams of a different life, unrut
Freedom and flow beckon my name.

There are parts of me I've hidden
from long, long ago —
There are parts I have treasured
and let the world know.
There are parts I have shunned
what I didn't want to show,
And there are parts I've enlarged,
magnified in my dreams - my ego!
Some have danced on the pages of journals,
some I have lived out, so —
Those that don't serve, I've  exiled
to antipathy's limbo.
Intellect will soldier on in the face
that only trauma knows —
But somehow, the playful one
charms and warms me aglow.
Remember, I urge,
there's more in me than I know!



Don't be frightened.

My walk to freedom;
There is no tomorrow.
Yesterday is gone.
There is only here, now.
Let the forest speak:
The mountains and the water,
Hear their voices, they become
pathways to wholeness, giving you
Freedom in thought.

My superpower;
may not be the strongest,
but it’s advantageous.

Creates a path through;
the wilderness that life brings,
pain, joy and between.

My superpower,
loudest in silence;
where healing is permeating.

Man and men everywhere;
Silver-fox, gay, several-times divorced,
But not one without baggage to be seen.
Pimped up with ****,
Waged weary by work or
Isolated through layered losses,
The modern man: a peculiar specimen.
It seduces the obvious why we turn to women to fill the void;
Upside-down desires? Or love that truly inspires?

Down here by the Murray River,
where life swims all around;
above and beneath the surface,
in this heat, everything flows —
Beers, BBQs, budgie smugglers and babes in bikinis,
memories bobbing above ground
capturing freedom; post-pandemic and pre-celebrations.

Down by the Murray River,
watching things flow safely and soundly,
birthing new possibilities:
boyfriends, babies, businesses and brews?!
Endless possibilities abound,
prophecies realised; salvation.

Down by the Murray River,
with nature, our souls sing loudly,
simplicity is possible,
trusting and enjoying,
everything is allowed.

Take down the constructs,
Tear down the precepts,
Tie down the lies.
To
Embrace love,
Engage curiosity,
Enlarge.

Critics collude in cliques
to keep themselves safe from reality.

"Truth is subjective!"
they say, diluting its potency and dilating its delusions.
But grounded, truth becomes a platform on which to
kick critics to the curb,
Taste the dirt of their terse tunes.

No word, now, spoken is new,
Except for thought in my mind,
Entombed in my mouth, spoken and
Embraced in your heart.

The fight of the mind twisting and turning,
tortured; I am learning,
my mind and soul conflict.

Desire enlarges,
but duty surpasses,
action thus constricts.

Dreams or delusions?
Passion or fusion?
Which am I to pick?

Where can I go?
to see this through,
and become the one who I seek?

The time taken was not what I dreamed
of, craggy paths, dead ends, or so it seemed.
But now, with back a turn, I see a glimmer,
of the bigger picture, that calls me nearer.
With eyes wide open, listening ears;
a heart full and my spirit clear,
peace and acceptance: my purified pearl.

I don't think I spend too much,
But then I spill out my shoe
Collection, an addiction, sorted by hue.
Cupboards flung open to reveal the gradient of such
And don't get me started on bags and the clutch!

Rivers of life run deep,
But then I look at the contents of my journals;
The "now and not yet" cries reveal how hormonal
Am I. Dim focus on the eternal creeps —
To cover more of the heart, I try to keep.

New year near and nearer;
But a return to stillness yearns.
When we hide, these addictions burn,
Igniting guilt, shame and all —
Where are you, simplicity? Is this the fall?

Pen on paper is like breath in my lungs.
It is my write to live;
Describing, birthing, embracing.
Permission to give.

But the pen used ineptly,
Causes death.
Like throwing my pearls to swine,
Snuffs breath.

We have many selves;
there’s the real self and the others behind the masque.
The real self gets pushed aside,
When our alter ego doesn’t want to hide.

Out comes the good girl, Rambo, and the billionaire,
Into the darkness hides shame and despair.
There’s also superwoman, the tech-wizz, and social entrepreneurs,
A shy kid dogged by not enough hides his cares,
Cos if they wore their hearts on their sleeves
They’d get beaten up and find no reprieve.

Is this the way we want to live?
Hiding out, these pressures not wanting to give.
They’re our protective armour in ourselves,
Wanting fame and fortune is not where our true future dwells.

We keep on this armour
because it’s become part of us,
We need to release these selves and
know we’re good enough.

It’s not an instant switch, like the internet promises,
But a slow journey of taking off the personas,
And being ok, with who we are,
reconciling what we say.

Let the little voice deep within,
Look to him, who knew no sin.
Cry out, let him in, and be redeemed.
Re-birthed, and on a journey of being restored.

Every moment is precious
even the mundane and superfluous.
The torment, grief-stricken and disastrous
all these moments, yes all, are the days of MY life.

New secrets discovered__
more moments cry out to be recovered.
Embracing all, nurturing, to be mothered,
anew, renewed, refreshed and restored.

Press in; delight.
Expand; day and night,
Rejoice; praise despite,
living as new, but in the old.

Maturity presses sweeter wine,
Wisdom pearls are mine,
all these gifts are thine,
I drink this cup, now and forever.

Was my stroke a cruel, twisted f#@k up?
...
Or one of divine luck?

Has it not taught me compassion?
Anger? Acceptance, how to ration criticism?
And laugh when I muck up?

Now, I breathe in gratitude,
And my world has opened up
to new experiences, people, and circumstances,
even living in new towns, cities and states.
Mastering REHAB, new knowledge and careers.
Working through old fears, sure, I've got new ones,
But who hasn't?

Connected and trusting this journey.
...
Now, that's the silver lining!

See the world distinctly?
Pearls?
A kaleidoscope of memories?
Or lucidly look differently?
A beggar, or free from the constraints of Western reality?
New eyes take in all perspectives: perceptions,
Compelling new experiences: horizons.
Releasing shame; distorted distractions.
Embracing imperfections, peccadillos,
Layers of realities,
Depths, and
Rationalities.
Diversely.
Maturely.

That, which is before me, I take hold.
Stepping forth with the "keys,"
Once wearily, but now growing bold —

Down, black dog, down!

Joy: light in thin cracks extol.
My heart, growing in strength,
stepping out bold,
It’s the only way to learn, heal and grow peacefully old.

Down, black dog, take off your crown.

Eight years ago, foggily I awoke from a 40-day deep, deep deep, sleep,

Seven times I've donned the sackcloth, which may continue seventy times seven in acceptance of my new reality.

Six years of gratitude directed my heavy heart and thoughts, to reframe and good perspective keep.

Five rehabilitation programs, cross country, helped regain vital functionality, to commence

Four years of study, processing grief, re-skill, and grow more confidently, despite my

Three-second memory retention, slowly, but surely, my amazing brain rewired grey space. My

Two eyes view life in fragments hoping to be restored, by the

One Almighty God, who has blessed me with life; I stand in awe of His grace.

I am bewitchingly beautiful.
My mind overflows with pearls by the mouthful,
Healing dawns in the crisp new morn,
But by noon I am worn ragged by the duel.

Noticing, I stop and rest,
And try to conjure truth: I am blessed.
Releasing all that stands contrary,
Reminding myself; I am hesed, crowned with righteousness.

Screaming on the inside again,
This horrible feeling hangs over me like shame,
Will it ever be different, or just the same?
Even when the fires are raging all around,
A new fire is taking shape on the inside.

No more, no more, no more!
Give this tune a new name, it’s time to soar,
Time to stop being silent; no, it’s time to roar!
I’m not a little girl anymore, I’m grown,
It’s time to harvest the seeds sown.

Dream big, play hard it’s time, let’s go!
Put the books on the shelf, there’s so much to know,
In life, through experience, grow in confidence as you flow,
There’ll always be more,
So just step out and taste what’s install!

Heroism comes in the form of a sweet smile, a helping hand and a kind word.

There was a little girl,
With a little curl,
But when she looked around
Others could be found
Tall ones, short ones,
Sportier and funnier ones.
They looked like they’re having so much fun,
She thought, miserable, she sat glumly.
With head in hands,
She couldn’t see the fanfare and bands:
Celebrating life in all it’s abundance,
Lost, she was, deep in a trance.
But, then, deeper within,
Life spoke, welcoming her in.
You are loved, there’s no-one like you!
Why look to others, when you know it to be true?!
So off she embarked,
On a new adventure: divinely marked
Out just for her, and you...
Hearts held open can be renewed.

Why have I been so afraid of being me?
Is it because I really couldn’t see the reality of the truth, the promise, and the hope flowing free?
Why did I close my eyes and my heart from thee; to truly free see,
The pure delight intrinsically, within, rather than embracingly, love and choosing to be happy?
What a waste; the years of lies I have believed,
But now, I want to be revolutionary, flee harmful untruths and start a new journey...
towards the promise of joyful harmony.

Devastation rips through this sunburnt country,
Fires consuming life: livestock, land and promises birthed at the beginning of time lost in those we know.
Sneaky smoke ***** the breath from their lungs; saying it’s your time to go.
Why now?! When families gathered to celebrate with presents under a tree.

We are the land down under; great Holy Spirit consume this horror!
We see your love in the helping hand, the
Compassionate face that chose not to demand,
Gratitude for the thousands of helpers professionals, and the like, we praise you with honour.

Thank you

In a new life, new emotions, new thoughts and new possibilities,
A heart held open can beat new rhythms;
The song can sound different, the tune can change,
But the intention remains the same;

Love, peace, hope: compassion...
A heart held open can withstand pain and
Grow stronger, mightier, and wiser.
A heart held open can hold paradoxes, which is life.