you reminded me
we have to eat a peck
of dirt before we die
but why on earth save
the pie in the sky?

© Matthew Harlovic

I found peace of mind
the very day you gave me
a piece of your mind.

© Matthew Harlovic

Love is not fear, and fear is not love.
This belonging to another, being psychologically
nourished by another, depending on another -
in all this there is anxiety, fear, jealousy, guilt,
and as long as there is fear, there is no love.

© Matthew Harlovic

In the name of the Zenith,
the Nadir, and the Meridian.
I’ll follow Vivienne
to the waters of oblivion.

© Matthew Harlovic

I used to be a bright boy before the white noise,
disrupted my poise and ****** the joy
out from the world around me.
It’s astounding to see such a change.
No it’s strange but I found a way to get around the grey
but you’d probably say I’m deranged if I told you.
No I’m not scolding you I’m holding you to the acquisitions
you back with whack facts you extract from your fruitless
disposition. Act aloof but you and I both know it’s truthful
the only loophole here is feedback so don’t fear the relapse
and I won’t appear so relaxed to you.

I used to love the sound of white noise while I sat in bed.
I found it reminiscent to the voice in my head.
I counted sheep to the static;
the ratchet put me to a deep sleep.

I used to be a quiet boy before I found a slight noise
coming through the television.
I can’t tell you what it sounds like now
so you’ll just have to listen for yourself
Momma call the technician.
Something’s wrong with the transmission.
I no longer see a picture.
Momma fix it ‘cuz its pixelated.
Momma listen, I’d fix it myself if I had the proper tools
but school never taught me how to.
Wow look at what I amounted to
when you took the time of day to stay around
and watch what I’m doing when you could’ve found out
why I wasn’t viewing pleasure like I used to.

© Matthew Harlovic

Since I’m too hardheaded for a gunshot,
I’ll wait for these thoughts
to fade like phases of sunspots.

© Matthew Harlovic

As long as you
still have the will
to love again,
you will. I promise
you that my friend.

© Matthew Harlovic

you made me promise
to never lose hope
but who would’ve
thought you were
the one to lose it.

© Matthew Harlovic

You were such a worry wart.
You would dwell on the possibility
of us breaking up. You always
said if and when the
relationship ends, you’d ****
yourself. You said you couldn’t
live without me, but then you
dumped me. Although months have
passed without response from you, I haven’t
come across your name in the newspaper
nor has it come up on the television.
I know you won’t **** yourself.
I don’t want you to, but what I want is
for you to stop being such a worry wart.  

© Matthew Harlovic

to think you led me
down the garden path
is rather hard to fathom,
yet we masked our passion
with the passing seasons.

© Matthew Harlovic

i won't go off
on a tangent but
tangible goals have
derived from the
different angles i've
taken to understand
why i run instead of rise.

© Matthew Harlovic

I’ll show you the ropes,
Step one: tie a noose

© Matthew Harlovic

There’s no “I” in noose but there’s one in noise

© Matthew Harlovic

forgive me for my outburst,
i have a tendency to run wild
so from here on out, i'll live on
the outskirts of my inner child.

© Matthew Harlovic

what a day, what a week,
what a month, what a year.
what a time to be alive,
what a time to drive off the pier and disappear.

i thrive in fear so don’t revive me,
it deprives me of what i hold dear.
let me lie beside me, my friends,
my family and peers.

© Matthew Harlovic

Sometimes my nonsense makes sense
and sometimes my senses are senseless.
But I relentlessly try to make sense,
all the sentences that I’ve sentenced.

© Matthew Harlovic

To my bloomed beauty,
rival roses reach for your
garden, not your heart.

© Matthew Harlovic

This morning,
my father and I
chased leaves together
after we argued for an hour
on relationship complexities.
And after a while of paved palms,
he bellowed with a fistful of yellow,
when you waver with the wind,
things will fall in your favor.
Since this morning, the wind
has been wavering Eastward.

© Matthew Harlovic

she’s no angel
nor does she have wings
but god-**** can that girl sing.

© Matthew Harlovic

Darling, forgive me for my wishful thinking,
but I’ve been passing up a lot of pretty pennies lately.
Ever since you caught my eye in between those box seats
I’ve been tossing you pick-up lines as worthless as the
gum on my shoe. Silly me, for thinking that you gave
me another chance after you wished me well, and
well, I wished that we were more than “just friends”.
Darling, forgive me for my wishful drinking,
but I’ve been trying to pass up a lot of heartache lately.
All the times that I’ve paid mind to you, aren’t well spent.
So, this is my farewell, but let me tell you it isn’t fair
that you lost interest in my expense. Then again, shame
on me, for wishing for change after I threw it all away.

How do I push away the ones who love me the most?
And for what? A burning bush and a chat with a ghost?
Engrossed in the outermost region of thought.
I’ve seen quite a lot; believe it or not.
I sought therapy to discuss my problems
but my trust issues make it tough to solve them.
I must admit the moment we kissed
the world and its the chaos didn’t exist.

© Matthew Harlovic

every dog has its day,
every day has its dog
if you claw your way
into the lap of the gods.

© Matthew Harlovic

the onus is on us  
so let us own up  
to love and lust  
like grownups,
in lieu of alluding
to all the secrets
we've sewn up.

© Matthew Harlovic

Seconds turn to minutes,
minutes turn to hours,
hours turn to days,
days turn to weeks,
weeks turn to weakness
and I give in.

© Matthew Harlovic

I swear your wingspan can bring man to his knees
but I’ve learned to withstand what it does to me.
We used to be in love, I used to hold her hand
till someone told her fly free so she left me for better land.
She said I love you like a friend. I hope you understand.
No I don’t but I see how you took a younga’ man
unda’ your wing and pulled a couple of strings
like it was all according to plan.
Now I’m not the biggest fan of your antics
but I gotta stand up even if I can’t stand it.
******* it. I know I’m at a disadvantage
but I’ll manage when haven’t I been up to a challenge?
Time to put your hands in. No I won’t be a stand in
but don’t panic man it’s so outlandish for you to think
that I’ll go ghost and vanish on you in a blink of an eye
before I can wash up what you can dish out
oh my gosh I wish you would just quit now while you’re ahead.
I’ll explore the ends of the Earth for my friend.
I’ll return to her once she earns it,
once she deserves it, once upon a time.
Never mind the prior line just discern it
like you did the verdict.
Yeah you heard it and I’m sure it sounds absurd
but at first you found a thirst for the last word.
I heard you mutter ‘*******’ under your breath
and honestly, I’m flattered
to see how much I mattered to you nonetheless.
But promise me that once this all ends,
we’ll still have the strength to make amends
because I said it once before and I’ll say it again.
I said I’ll always love you just like a friend.

© Matthew Harlovic

Waste (wāst) v. 1. To use, consume, spend, or expend thoughtlessly or carelessly: For hours on end we laid waste beneath the plastered moon. 2. To cause to lose energy, strength, or vigor; exhaust, tire, or enfeeble:  The tar wasted her lungs. 3. To fail to take advantage of or use for profit; lose: You wasted an opportunity to be with me. 4. a. To destroy completely. b. Slang. To ****; ******. The cigarettes wasted our relationship. 5. Garbage; trash. You had the audacity to choose to keep them than throw them in the waste basket.  6. Regarded or discarded as worthless or useless. You were a waste of my time.

© Matthew Harlovic

i have come
a long way
from where
i began and
i can say  
i have
changed
as a man.
i have set
my goals
and refined
my role
as i aligned
my mind,
body and soul.
i hit new lows
and rose above,
i live a life full
of light and love.
i give all i have
and ask for nil
for the life i
was gifted with
is all i fulfill.

© Matthew Harlovic

perhaps if we bring our fates
together we will create
a date with destiny.

© Matthew Harlovic

she cried havoc when chaos spilt from my mouth like milk.
i sunk fangs in her tilted head then i bilked.
i was drunk on pangs of guilt and debunked the whole lies,
the half truths you told Matthew from time to time.

i built a silk pursue from sow's ear but she jilted the gesture
so save the lecture because i won't pester you like the jesters do
because my wounds fester when i'm next to you.
i'm not here for you rescue

when you abandoned ship
from a boon companionship
so exsiccate in the canyon which
i excavated you from.

you grew some ovaries
when you said you were over me
so don't bother overseeing me
overseas.

© Matthew Harlovic

Though passions may dim and fade away,
the love we have will always stay.
Hope springs eternal in our passion play.
Tomorrow delivers our new born day.

© Matthew Harlovic

Forgive me Lord for I have sinned,
I have taken your name in vain
and then abused that vanity to
raise my own name.
In spite of the green-thumbed
that wander your garden,
I tried to gather as much fruit
as my arms could carry before
Jacob’s ladder gave out to my weight.
But knowledge is a burden that even
Atlas can’t get a grasp of.
Forgive me Lord for I have sinned,
For I’ve fallen to the seven wonders of
this world that you didn’t warn this sheep of.

© Matthew Harlovic

i hid cigarette
cartons from
my parents as
well as yours
because i knew
it was what you
wanted because
it was what they
abhorred.

© Matthew Harlovic

you "like" what i write if it is to your liking
though if i write about your bad side,
you loathe the poor lighting.

© Matthew Harlovic