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Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
slowly
slowly
ill wait for you
you cant process
very fast
but your speed will do
for i love you
and though your sick
coughing and
sputtering
your still moving along

i love you
remember that
for when your feeling blue,
it can really show,
just take a breath
or two
or maybe just
a few
few
a few
more

the things
that block me from your eyes
its alright love!
i can see through them quite fine
dont worry
or try to change a thing
for i love you just the way
you are

your viruses and such
you think they just wont do
but , you see my love,
you have programs
that will have to do
their job to fix you
back to the way you were
but for now
ill love you
forever and more

your missing a few things
and some keys are broken
your mousepad just cant seem
to recognize that im trying to move
from one side to the other
but thats fine
not everyone can beat the fancy ones my love
for im typing this out to you
i love you
only you
i love you
just the way you are

KD2015 (c)
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
breathe
breathe
you just have to breathe
its simple, even babies can do it
so why cant you?
a string tightens around your neck
heart racing,
breath scarce
you dart your hands up
to reieve the pain
yet, where is the rope?
there is none
for it is your own mind
tightening your hair round your neck
yet your hair is draped across your shoulders
not a piece misplaced
your throat on fire
spine tingling
head spinning
trying to just
breathe

open your mouth
call for help
and water spills in
yet your nowhere near water
your mind, its playing even more games
your mind is an assassin
plotting against you
trying to **** you
you let your hands rest
the fingers far beyond numb
and the worst happens:
someone sees you, drowning in air
comes up to you
asks the three words you dread the most
"are you okay?"

you swallow, seeing stars
faintly shake your head
eyes fuzzy, in and out of focus
but somehow
as your hair tightens its grip
and the water trickles into your lungs
you mutter, stutter
"i'm fine" and mannage
with blue lips
purple skin
and red, tear filled eyes
to give a smile
full toothed
praying for this to convince them
that you infact are
even though your drowning

the person nods, patting a shoulder
flashing a smile
and moves on
so you can drown in peace
struggling to breathe
your lungs full of water
throat on fire
tighter than ever
you can feel your hands now
you look down and see your shaking
hands clenched
knuckles white
palms bleeding
but you keep your head up
smile on
your pretty purple face
beautiful blue lips in all
and keep walking
as you turn from dying to dead
a walking corpse.
In all honesty, I'm just spam posting all my poems i have saved on my laptop. This one is one of my favorites :)
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
some people think its gross
some think your being a *****
but i think it is a wonderful thing
when done in the right mannor
when you feel so good about yourself
you want to show your body off
then that is wonderful
for most people i know
including myself, for a while
would never have dreamt of doing so

so i say
flaunt what your mama made!
be proud and state it loud!
but do not do it just to get attention
from that guy you like
or your girlfriend
"do it because you think
wow, my tummy is adorable
my face looks great
my pecks are on point today
or even
my chest look so cute"
because thats what self love is
and its a wonderful thing
slight nsfw? Criticism or comments would be appreciated!
Kiarra Dean Oct 2016
i understand why you split; i forgive you honey.
i forgive you to the moon and back a thousand times
just promise to come back to me in my dreams with whispers, lullabies and goodnight kisses baby.
to help with the process of mourning, i made this my skype status lol
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
The pain I feel every time I see you with someone else
The sorrow I feel when you get close to them
The jealousy raging when you flirt with them
The untold feelings for you, eating away at my heart.

The uneasy feeling when I'm around you
The want to cry in front of you to make sure you would stay with me
The feeling I get in my stomach when I see you
The need to have you, controlling my mind.

The pure joy I feel when I see you
The genuine smile you give off when you laugh
The silly things we do together when were by ourselves
The love I have for you, controlling me.

The desire to confess my love to you
The fear of rejection and abandonment
The words I want to hear from you
The words are 'I love you too.'
continuing with the spam of my poems ;)
Kiarra Dean Dec 2017
I preach positivity but radiate negativity
Kiarra Dean Dec 2017
My dear, you will find
the day you meet a person
look into their eyes

You won't forget them
for it might just make you cry
as eyes are souls, dear

When you realize
you can see someone's soul, love
haunted, you will be
Kiarra Dean Dec 2017
I guess I was just an afterthought
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
home.
i need to go home.
no, mother
we cant go to the store
for we havent been home yet
it is a necessity to go home
before all else
for if not
and the clock strikes five
my hands shake
and tears fill my eyes
for i am not home
and home needs me
yet its more the other way around

home and i
we have a fling
where i come back from my hard day
and she comforts me
houses me
keeps me warm and feeds me
and we need each other
for if i were never there
it would be a skeleton
its insides barren
and if home were never there
id live on the streets
find something so spare

home and i have a connection
if we arent together
after a certain time
we grow weary
lonely
afraid
that the other wont be there
when each other meet again

i need to be home
for home and i have a love affair
she warms me cold winters nights
and cools me hot summer days
and i provide her with love
wear
company

i fear
that if, by five
i am no where near home
time will slip us by
and somewhere along the ride
we will forget each other
for the previous day
would have been
our last kiss goodbye

KD2015 (c)
More spam of poetry. I really like this one
Kiarra Dean Dec 2017
Long brown hair
Pretty cute smile
I haven't seen you in a while
I really dont know, but you make me so good **** happy

You make me feel like I'm a plane
Whenever I see your face
It's like I'm looking at the whole human race
Oh baby girl, you're beautiful
I wanna kiss you, oh baby please
I wanna make you so **** happy
But I know...
You're not that into me

Short brown hair
Pretty cute smile
I haven't seen you in a while
I really dont know why, but you make me so good **** happy

You make me feel like I'm a plane
Whenever I see your face
It's like I'm looking at the whole human race
Oh, you're beautiful
I miss you, oh baby please
I wanna make you so **** happy
But I know...
You're not that into me

Short brown hair
Pretty big nose
I haven't seen you in who knows
I really dont know why, but you made me so good **** happy

You made me feel like I was a plane
Whenever I saw your face
It was like I was looking at the whole human race
Oh baby boy, you're beautiful
I miss you, oh baby please
I wanna make you so **** happy
But I know...
You cant come back to me

Short brown hair
Pretty big nose
I haven't seen you in who knows
I really dont know why, but you made me so good **** happy

You made me feel like I was a plane
Whenever I saw your face
It was like I was looking at the whole human race
Oh baby boy, you're beautiful
I miss you, oh baby please
I wanna make you so **** happy
But I know...
You cant come back to me


God ****** Jeremy
Do you know how many people you have left to see?
So many ****** faces you could brighten with your light
But I guess that its all gone
What made this go so wrong?
A song I'm working on, bit its decent as a poem!
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
"What are you?" might be asked
But no one will ever know.
For if I trust you enough
My love for you will grow.
Because, dear, I live in the sea
Something no one should show.

So I dress up in a gown and mask,
Letting the sea breeze blow,
Yet, you never came my love
So I shall let my secret go.
Into the sea I jump
As you walk down the path to me
Watching as I flash before your eyes,
Becoming oh so free.
Running-screaming- you call my name
But I cannot hear -- oh, how far down must I be?

That day I lost a lover to land
And she, her lover by sea.
A really rough draft of this poem. I think I like it but any constructive criticism would be appreciated! (I really love this poem wow)
Kiarra Dean Dec 2017
"What are you?" might be asked
But no one will ever know
For if I trust you enough
My love for you will grow
Because, I live in the sea
Something that must not show
So I dress up in a gown and mask
Letting the sea breeze blow
Yet, you never came my love
So I shall let my secret go
Into the sea I jump
As you walk down the path to me
Watching as I flash before your eyes
Becoming oh so free
Running, screaming you call my name
But I cannot hear--how far down must I be?
That day, I lost a lover to land
And she, her love to sea
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
It’s odd when you realize how poetic you get whenever you talk about your favorite place.
Mine seems to excrete smells of rotten fish and decomposing aquatic life; yet I find myself sitting there, basking in the sunlight and nose-offending odors, as if I myself were in a giant stir fry of the sea, the sun, and decomposition of life itself.
first part of this essay thing i have to do for an english class
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
I thrive
on definite things.
facts
things that cannot change.
when one of those "facts"
are no longer true
I question myself
and go through a spiral
down, down
down the rabbit hole of depression
self loathing
anger

fear.

do i choose path one?
or two?
or just stay here
on my crumbling
sense of a
"foundation"?
Confusing times about sexuality bring me poems. odd.
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
It’s odd when you realize how poetic you get whenever you talk about your favorite place. Mine seems to radiate smells of noxious fish and decomposing aquatic life; yet I find myself sitting there, basking in the sunlight and nose-offending odors, as if I myself were in a giant stir fry of the sea, the sun, and decomposition of life itself. To most, the odors would drive them away from the place where sea is held back from the land, but I find myself drawn to it. The giddiness I feel whenever I see it, just rising from the horizon as I approach, is inexplicable. As my feet touch the ever-changing, flowing particles of crushed stone, a lightness fills me. Spreading from my feet all the way up to my head, the tips of my fingers, my nose; the lightness turns to energy. Pure, unadulterated energy. As the walk I had seemed to achieve transformed into a run, the energy turns into static, and my body turns into no-see-ums, flying in the breeze and spinning. Creating a dance that moves and flows like the liquid nearby, forward and back, lapping at the granules of ancient sand and worn glass. As static-foot touches warm stone, my body fuses back together and I climb the steep hill of smoothed down, yet still rough broken-down boulders. Unshod feet touch comforting, sturdy baby-boulders, and my body automatically starts to climb to the top. The sights aren’t that great at the beginning, seeing that you are a mere four feet or so from the small, granulated stone pieces, but as I rehearse my dance with the stones, jumping and sprawling across them with ease, it gets, stunningly, much more charming. The salt-tinged liquid makes beautiful melodies as it navigates through the cracks and holes between moulded-together stone, creating creeks and, eventually, having reached its final destination; the shoreline. Walking for what seems like miles, finally ending up at the end of the moulded sculpture, I sit down and lay there. My arms and legs spread, seeping in the warmth from every possible angle, breathing in the salty breeze. My eyes see an array of puffy marshmallows, accented with hints of pink, purple, and various shades of orange and red. I take a deep breath, letting out my worries and fears in a sigh; the sea has always calmed me. The taste on my tongue is a mixture of fish, the sea itself, and the chicken fingers being cooked up by a nearby snack shack. Sitting up, I bask in the way that the stone feels against my skin; hard, firm, but warm and comforting. Slowly being worn away by the water’s constant lapping at it, begging to be let into the overflow-areas of the shore. Time and time again, I have explored the roots of the stones, jutting up from the floor of the ocean, hiding and housing its creatures within, as if the rocks themselves were their mother. This mass of broken-down mountain formed into a beautifully elegant bridge has a name that fits its magnificence; a Jeti. The jeti houses me from the water, protects me, lets me play on her. Yet the Jeti protects herself, too. Housing barnacles is only one way that Mother Jeti defends herself, making sure that passer-bys stay on their toes, as to not catch their feet on them, for painful cuts and bleeding shall ensue soon after if they do. I need not worry about the dangers of my Mother Jeti, for I have navigated her hard and scaly vessel since I was a wee child. My feet have toughened enough to not get hurt by her sharper edges, My muscles remember each divot, nook, and cranny engraved within her scaly skin. I know her weakest parts, and her strongest. I know, that if the wind blows just right, and the tide if far enough out, she sings to you; a melodious tune of lapping waves, hungry seagulls, and the swift, quick movement of wind through all of her cracks and holes. She makes a beautiful melody, a melody to lull and comfort all of her children into a blanket of safety and warmth. When it becomes my time to go, I say”Goodbye, Mother Jeti, I wish to see you soon.”, and swiftly retrace my steps backwards, turning into no-see-ums and departing, flying into the breeze, until I return yet again.
A poem-essay I did on the land I love. enjoy.
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
recently
ive been feeling
alone
and not just the lonley
where your lacking a person
or a presence
an alone where you cant feel anything
and it feels like your stomach
is droping from the top of a rollercoaster
and it is because of you

you, you, you, you, everyone

and i hate it. i cannot change it

i have no control
and i like having control
over my own emotions
i cannot feel anything
my brain
is in a soft fuzzy blanket
i cannot feel
my stomach
the acid burns it numb
and my heart
it has stopped
dead in my throat
my eyes
have become blind
by the boiling aogny flowing out
my mouth
the words gushing out
cut it, emotions choking me

i long
to not be able to feel
because numbness
is

  forever


          agony
spelling errors are intentional, all written in the spur of the moment
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
just close your eyes sweetie
take a breath to remember
for you will never open them again
take in the smell of the grass
the color of the sky
but ignore the mushroom cloud penetrating nearby
forget the mask on your face
forget your hazy gaze
but remember the lone flowers swaying sickly
awaiting for thier end to come
remember your tree
whose leaves are falling
as if it was fall
yet it is spring
remember your dog, not knowing the impending doom
who still sits by your side and waggs his tail
looking up to you
remember the smiles on your mothers face
the laughter from her throat
but forget the solemn look on her face
as she gazes into the distance
seeing the wave of destruction approach
remember your father as the man he was
not the coward who fled
you can only remember the best my love
for if you dont
you will not live on in your head
remember only the good things about you dear
your wide hips
slender curves
well fed cheeks
not the scars that reach across your skin
scratching to get out from inside
remember the smiles you had on your face
not the tears gliding down with little grace
remember your gutteral laughter as a beautiful thing
not something to be ashamed of my love
think not of your younger sibling
still an infant in your mothers arms
for lost children are to be mourned
think not of what they could have done
just think of thier cute cheeks
think of them as now, not could be, not could have been
time is running out my love
walk, calm and slow to your bed
looking back at the place you call home
and take your teddy
clutched in your tight grip
and lay in the bed with your mother
tuck the covers up to your chin
and close your eyes
for now you may allow your tears to fall
and to curl into your mother
your infant sibling between you two
remember now as just a nap
a nap forever
to never wake up from
close your eyes my dear
do not let the cloud moving at incredible speeds scare you
for it is just a dense, deadly fog
your eyes close
as the grip on teddy tightens
your mothers grip on the two of you become desperate
and as your teardrop hits the pillow
you descintigrate
into the unknown
but my dear
you can always hold my hand
and remember
i will guide you through oblivion
A prompt i got was about trees and the sky. I came up with a impending nuclear death.
Kiarra Dean Dec 2017
Anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious you dont need to be anxious its just that she is in a relationship and its not with me anxious anxious anxious I should not be this anxious about something so small and it isn't even real we aren't a thing anxious but I wish we were anxious and she would be willing anxious I just want to kiss someone anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious I wish I wasn't so anxious I wish I was just high anxious so I could forget and chill and feel good anxious **** I hate this anxious I want to cry anxious I should take my meds again anxious what is this the third day anxious

I wish I could tell her anxious I want her to love me back anxious ******* it PLEASE anxious I JUST WANT TO FEEL LOVED AGAIN ******* IT anxious anxious ANXIOUS ANXIOUS ANXIOUS ANXIOUS ANXIOUS ANXIOUS ANXIOUS anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxioous anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious why do I have to be so anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious I still feel anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious

Maybe not so anxious.
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
My dear boar,
Let no one get you down, love
For I am here to help you
Yet somehow
it seems that you help me more?
But, no matter dear
I will be your friend until the very end

let this come across any way possible
for whichever perception you shall take away from this lyrical, tuneless, word-clad song
is a perception i have planned
yet have not at the same time

whenever you seem sad,
lonely,
upset,
happy,
ecstatic,
elated,,,

read this poem
for i made it just for you
:)
Poems for people i love is fun :)
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
in, out
in, out
keep telling yourself its okay
and things will turn out fine
you cant change this one, dear
i know you want to
but you cant do a thing, sweetie
just take a breath and hold it
long after your face turns blue
if you hold it long enough it might do
if you wake again in a room draped in white
tubes sprouting out your veins
its quite alright, my love
for you just need to hold it longer
for as time passes just pretend
pretend like you can hold it together
for someone will believe
and let you be
but this time
when that comes
take things nice and slow
in
out
feel the wind breeze against your face
high in the sky
almost touching the stars
as you can hear honks from cars
the salty smell hitting your nose
as you just let it go
dropping, dropping
down you go
until
finally
you hear the whistling of wind in your ears
your hair flowing like the water below
and suddenly
plink
just like a raindrop
you fall from the sky
but instead of stopping, you fall further
this time
not gravity.
your greif and misery
dragging you down
yet the farther you go
it doesnt feel heavy
you feel light, floating even
until
you pop up
looking around, you find yourself in a river
a river of lost souls
finally,
finally.
you have reached
your final destination.
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
He said
*He loves me too
Recent love has Congress my way and I'm ecstatic
Kiarra Dean Apr 2017
1.

I want to stuff myself full to try and fill what you left behind.

— The End —