I am facing my residual reality
What one might call a residuality
The moment has died
But theses thoughts linger on
My chance has expired
But these mistakes are never gone
Life is hardwired
Or rigged
You’re either the star of the show
Or you just walked onto a scene
No matter what it seems
We all carry these residualities

There is a manic presences in my head
The maniac lurking in this cuckoos nest
You'd think by now we'd be acquainted
But when it starts creeping in
I begin to fade again

*There is a sane shadow with me here
The string puller; The puppeteer
You'd think by now we'd be integrated
But when it finally reappears
I vanish into thin air

AH
What an attempt
At giving human characteristics
To the most inhuman of ideas
What a ghastly attempt
To bring to life words
The author
Just another Victor Frankenstein
Ashamed of yet another nameless creation
Reconciling with the idea
It was never meant to live
All the while the readers exclaim
*IT'S ALIVE

I live my life
One
Philosophical footnote
At a time

This is unpleasant to admit
But the pleasantries have lost meaning
Without you
I was falling apart at the seams
Though now it seems I will survive
But what is surviving
other than just waiting for Death
And as of late it feels he comes knocking often
Though I don’t know why
because my doors always open
The draft I let in feels all too familiar
It’s that Mother Nature temptress beckoning me
Yet the view from my window will have to suffice
But my blinds are always drawn
The light from your window is too bright
It seems as of lately I am flipped inside out
And the world around me is all in my mind
Which is funny
because now I always seem lost
My sense of direction seems to be thrown off
But I never really go searching for anything
Yet things still manage to find me
It’s funny how all this is because you left
Please don’t misinterpret what I am saying
I really do like it here where I am at
But things get complacent
here in my brain
It’s not like it was when our heads were together
You see
now I am spiraling out of control
Things do look interesting when I am spinning though
But all of that spinning sometimes makes me sick
And a trip to the doctor is out of the question
This isn’t simply a problem medication can fix
Anyway it’s not like I am broken
But I am sure you of all people can understand that
After all it was you that did this to me
Although surely it wasn’t on purpose I guess
You couldn’t have known that I’d be stuck in this mess

Some might think I’m crazy
To bad I’m a lunatic
It’s funny they all misperceive me
They see the weird looks
And all the time I’m writing to myself
“They misjudge me”
And only if they knew
I’m much worse off then they think
But only by their perception
Because I’m happy being insane
See everyday is different
And when I see them I think
“These people must be insane”
They treat everyday as mundane

Took for granted
To many moments
Watched memories
Carried away
On musical melodies
When I was a Radio Kid

Now I'm tuning in
A new station
But I don't hear music
I hear the past
Bleeding through
And I'm back in Radio Summer
Listening to memories of
*Me and You

you took the poison from my lips
now I'm left alone
thinking
did you save me or
prolong my death

Lies give birth to lies
And through admittance is redemption
You can live with the past
Or be miserable in the present
You can wear those red ribbons
Wrapped tightly up your wrist
Or you can shed the pain
But the temptations hard to resist
A lies easier to speak
But harder to live

Lately dreams
Have been more real
Than reality
And that blank fortune cookie
Seemed oddly pointless
In my dream
But in the waking light
It seems
To have revealed
Its many messages to me

Dark pool
Overflowing
With insignificance

Everyone has dreams
Profound in nature
Or profoundly meaningless
Some only wake from them
While others awaken

They told me I was dreamer

So I fell asleep forever

I figured the world was changing

And my dreams could just get better

But the dreams became chronic

Some called it an addiction

Now dreaming is getting old

It’s become more of an affliction

Now I’m just waiting

To be awoken form my slumber

Like Rip Van Winkle

My waking days are numbered

Take me back to the days of my voyage
Through teenage love
We drove around listening to punk rock
Battling what were then our enemies
Now our friends
Windows down pant legs rolled up
I remember how your eyes reflected
The evening sun
But like all good voyages
This one ended too

It seems we get stuck in thought patterns

Of self destruction
Giving in

We tell ourselves we are small

Trapped by our looming minds
Not Knowing

We are the ones in control

Though thoughts can be changed
It seems

We forget our self worth under the shadow

Our minds playing tricks on us
It’s relentless

Changing our minds not like flipping a switch

It takes insurmountable effort
Changing thoughts

We are the combatants of our minds

Don’t be controlled by irrationalities
Face reality

We are of immeasurable value

Make sure your thoughts reflect
Your self-respect