My wife has a lump in her belly.
A mini human is in there.
His grandma is excited
His grandpa is...well being himself
I have no doubt i want this.
My real dad never got around to see me.
Though theres not much to see,
Id appreciate a little effort.
Im going to be a dad.
A **** good one
I feel my wifes lump.
This guy isnt gonna know abuse.
He is going to live happy.
I swear.
Its cool,
Im going to raise my family right.
They wont be afraid.
We will be happy.
So heres to you, little one
Daddys waiting
*with love

You should never have to break character
*if that is who you really are

You cant sweep your kids under the rug.
You cant push us aside and go drinking.
After all,
You made us.
It was your night of fun, wrether intentional or not that made us.
You cant ignore us
We need you.
As much as your work ****** you off
You cant take it out on us.
Why do you think we are so against you?
Or better yet
What did you do to make us that way.
Because we...well i dont hate for no reason.
i always have a reason
Why do you hit us,
You know you wouldnt like to be hit.
Why are you so angry
I know....life *****,
But your kids will find out eventually, no need to make them learn now.
You cant butter us up
Because we arnt dumb.
Parents
Love the kids.
You made em
So love em.
Dont leave them in the dark
Because it hurts.
Dont. Leave us

Im growing up
Im becoming man.
And with becoming a man,
Society has laid expectations
That i have already broken
Without growing to complete adulthood.
ive already cried in public...twice
Men arnt supposed to do that! Be real!
i hang out with mostly girls
Bros before hoes you ***!
i let my sister paint my toenails
Are you kidding?!?! You ****!
Men...see men are mean.
But...im not.
Men are fearless.
Im scared of ****.
Men are ripped atheletes
I will NEVER look magazine worthy.
Men are *** machines
...im still a ******. Ha!
Men dont care
I do....in fact...i do alot!

I am a man
But that doesnt mean
im a steriotypical one
;)

My dads room was often dusty.
He had...things in there.
Things that would strike a childs curiosity.
Exept
It wasnt my curiosity.
He got home from work
Us kids were home alone.
He saw little fingerprints on his dresser.
I was called up to his room
He snatched my hand
Pulled my thumb
And planted a print right next to the crime scene.
My thumb matched the other one.
I pleaded with him that it wasnt me.
And it wasnt.
But he hit me
And told me i was lying
He told me he wouldn't stop until i admitted it
So i lied.
I told him i did it
I didn't.
I was treated like a dog
Had nothing to do with the situation
Just his way of ******* my head.
He
Made me lie
About a truth
That was easy to tell.
I didnt go up there
Someone else did
But like always
I fell for the crime i didnt commit.
Who the **** lies and says he did something that he didn't.
It happened all the time.
I was
I am
A truthful person.
But he made me lie
About being a liar.
And thats how he kept it.
****.

You said im an o.g
But i am just the same old me.
You told me i was a legend
I tell you im a writer
Nothing more
As you hold me up in such galor.
Im not an o.g
Never was
Truth is
There's little original about me.
I mean
Im not a sellout
I dont copy
But im not hype either.
My spirits get low.
Im not an o.g
Just let me be.
Dont try to lie to me
And tell me im great
Cuz **** well i aint.
Im no o.g
But thanks
*anyways

READ MY LIPS WHEN I SAY






























i love you very much baby

A faint "hello?"
I turned
"Yeah?"
"Im scared" even fainter
"Why?"
I stuttered
"This world is too dark"
"But you...youre in a closet"
His only words were,
"Exactly"
_____
This world we live in
The voices we often hear
Are nothing but occurances.
Nothing but odd happenings.
This world
Is out of controll
And we,
Have nobody to blame
but ourselves
Our rebellious nature.
We all have a clone in the closet
Scared of everything.
My clone
My other me
Resides there
Watching everything from the dark.
The world's evil is waiting
Like a shark
Hanging around to see the pain.
The world
Is over
...
It has been
Yet we continue to abide.
Corrupt
To the core.
A place where everyone thinks
Everybody's a *****.
We are outraged by the littlest things.
And
Im beggining to fall faint
Ive grown tired of this life.
Its used.
Generic.
I wish we could be something else entirely
Sounds great.
Because im just old me.
Abandoned, if you will.
Im just a poet
That just keeps noticing
Noticing
Noticing.
This...
Voice in the closet
is wiser than any one of us
Next time you hear them,
**take a listen

Its funny.
You spent so much time wishing me away
And when i did go away
Your tears formed a river.
"I didnt mean it!"
Well i did

Goodnight world.
Its been a long day.
I felt like ****
I had at least 5 headaches
Took 4 pills today
And drank 6 glasses of water.
But now its time to rest.
And to think.
Think about the girl i crush on
Think about the new school year
And what the **** im doing tomorrow
Its a goodnight from me
Good old b.d
I cant wait to stress about the littlest things tomorow.
But thats tomorrow.
But if one things for sure
*you can bet your *** im sleeping in

Dont think things have to die.
Nothing has to die
See
I didnt want the relationship to die.
But it did.
And it didnt have to.
But you wanted to control my life
Every minute of it.
You needed to see who i talked to
Who i didnt
And you had to make sure you were it
Even though ive told you a thousand times that i am a loyal man that is yours forever.
Yet it wasnt enough.
Because you still tried
To hold my life
Like it was a ball
And eventually
You dropped it.
I admit
It was my fault i wasnt brave enough to end it earlier
So it ate at me
I became angry.
I was grumpy.
That ****** you off
So i ended us
The relationship died.
But if only you had honored my wish
Like i did yours
We could still be
Us

Shut the door
Breathe a little more.
Because they say
Sticks and stones...
Break my bones.
And its true.
Your words hurt too
They cut like knives
Stab like swords.
Make me feel war headed.
Something so dreaded.
Ghosts of my past
Spawn every year.
But im a good person
I dont deserve this curse and
More and more
I begin to imagine a life without you.
A place where you dont exist.
I will try to presist.
But ive got a list
One that makes me ******.
And your  name's on top.
what a ******* honor
Its like you are a suicide wish donor.
Im roasting you
And i know you hate me too.
But ive escaped.
This game.
But i just might come back
To teach you
how to play


welcome to war
*********

You cannot take me down
The incredible thing is
i have stopped you already
I know you.
Everything.
Who you are
What you hate.
And that will lead to your downfall.
I PROMISE

I am down
I am worn
I am tired
I am hurt
I am bruised
I am torn
But i am a surviver
I prevail
I am an overcomer
And i will
*keep fighting

I love the way you love me
The way you hold me.
Your body like silk
Soft to the touch.
your touch like angel kisses
Each sigh like messeges sent from heaven.
The way you look into my eyes
Such power.
I love the way you wrap your body on mine.
I love the way you feel each of my muscles,
Feeling every detail,
Every vein
I love the way you have your way with me
And with each ******
A storm of happy emotions
And new beginings come to life.
The way you have your way with me
Unlike anything else.
So splended.
I love the way you cuddle me,
You care so deeply
so genuinely
Make me feel like a king
To the point where i sing.
You are worth everything.
I give you my all
And you take it
And beg
For more

Is it okay to feel afraid?
Because i
*am ******* terrified

Flames licked his skull as the fire took its pleasure.
Hell was the only one to seem like a redeemer.
He layed in the lake of fire
Condemned by Christianity.
He was called a ***
He had a boyfriend
They found out
The church
Ripped them out like cancer.
They never wanted
A "****" to worship  their god.
Anyone else would be forgiven
Murderer
forgiven
******
forgiven
Thief
forgiven
H­omosexual
send em to hell
They are supposed to love all
But they rally against them
And bring violence to the front.
Christians
Follow what you preach
These people dont deserve your hate.
God tells to love all
Yet you hurt lgbtq
And you wonder why
Less and less followers
*go to church

Its a bit funny.
I work so hard
To please everyone,
Yet i feel so useless.
"Its a teen thing"
Really?
You kidding?!?!?
Its a bit funny
All these  things expected of me.
I did it to be nice.
I did it again to be thoughtful
And now
Im expected to do it
Wow.
How ****** is that?
*I hate being nice

They say there's  a superhero for everyone.
Cool!
Except
im still waiting for mine
I have no superman
No spiderman
SURE AS HELL not Batman
so i wait.
Because  situations occur when
...
I sure need one.
When my  dad is beating my face  in,
I wish the justice league would pop in
Rip him off
And send him to space.
Wishful thinking...
Or is there a chance
One might come along....
Hm

Bullies are just bullies, right?
But what if its your *father?

You litte ******
Dont question  me
You little ******
Try to fight back at me!
You little ******
Get mad
Get ******!
Little  ******
Get up
Hurry  your fat *** up!
You little  ******
Clean your ******* blood off the floor
You little ******
Dont act like it hurts
You little  ******
You dont have a right  to feel sad
You little ******
Dont stare at me with your ugly ***
You little  ******
Im gonna ****  ya'
You little ******
Lets go out back
You little ******
Be lucky thats all you got
You little ******
Stop your crying
You little ******
Get up! Come on! Now!
You little ******
There aint no one to save you
You little ******
Get out of my sight
-
All things  my lovely father has said

Bitter beatings
Outflow
My  happiest memories...
*anyone else?

If you  love me
I will be the most loyal companion.
If you love me
I will hold you forever
Each kiss will  hold meaning
And each "i love you" will be sincere
If you love me
I will lay down my  life for you
I will give you everything i got.
My time will  be yours
My life will be yours.
If you love me
I will  give everything to ensure your happieness.
If you love me
I will stand  for you
I will comfort you with every piece of love i have  
If you love me
I will be kind and loving
Caring and  apologetic
If you love  me
I will be forever.
If you love me
I will grab the moon
Wrangle all the stars together
And fit them into a snow globe.
All for you.
If you will allow  me to love you
*we will be unstoppable

Essential
Lovely
Soothing
*necessary

My life is like call of duty zombies:
Im down
Someone revive me

Do me a favor  and love me.
For real.
Love me and hold me
I may be a guy but im a guy who needs affection
Love me because you cant help it.
Love me for me
My wierdness
My faults
And my lovable spots.
Tell me i am the one
I need  you to tell  me.
See,
I cant help but notice
I love you
Regardless
It cant be one sided.
You look at me
And i cant help  but see
A little twinkle in your eyes.
You've  told me
You'd  be here for me.
And i need you
As much now
As i did  then
I want you to love me
So deeply
So strongly
So immensely
Like we  were a pair from the start
Please love me this time.
Dont let me die here alone.
Give me a hand  to hold
A shoulder  to lean on
A soul to love.
I love you so much
And i need you
To love me too

If everyone  would just
shut up
We wouldn't  have  so many problems

I am a ******* mailbox.
Why?
I dunno.
Because i said so.
Accept me for who i am.
My metal *** and face.
My four little legs
And a drawr that holds youryour buisness.
I am a ******* mailbox
Accept  me,
My rusted edges
My sad blue paint.
Unfortunate that  i do not  have a red flag.
****
Well
Thank my creater,
the mailman
I am a ******* mailbox.
And i am
**** proud
To be one

If we consider ourselves as legends
There  will be no such thing as one.
Legends are the great.
And maybe  you are a legend.
I am not.
Right?
Poetry is legendary.
And we are a part of it
But  we are not to be self  proclaimed.
Legends are for others  to decide about ourselves
Not us.

Dont leave me
Keep speaking to me
*you're all i have

You say you want me to speak
But if i open my mouth and talk
Anger  will rise
The ground will shake.
I have been silenced  for 8 years
That  time cannot  be taken back.
Instead, i am left with the memories
That  allow  me to tell the sad stories
There  is more to me.
I look fine from the  outside
But inside
I am a shipwreck
Just waiting to be discovered.
I am a rush of frustration
I often loose my happy concentration
When i am put into a ****** situation
Dont let me speak
i wont stop
Wrether you think you love me
Or  you pretend to love me
There is always going to be a void.
A void  only one can make.
But left 8 years ago
I've  been told to hold on for so long
And
My grip is slipping.
Each day i find myself wanting to let go more and more.
I cannot move on with little to none support.
I am a human
Not a robot.
I have feelings
Which everyonr seems to forget.
family slave
Is who i am to them
nuisance
To others.
I want to matter
I want to open my mouth
And speak
And leak
These secrets kept within the flesh.
But these bruises are like  circuit  boards
no one sees them
You have to uncover  these sheets of hell to see my pain. The bruises
My soul feels dead with every bad omen and every negative word said to me.
Ive prayed
Nothing came
Ive bargained  my soul
Just  for things to change
Nothing has happened.
Because  i will not speak.
My mind is connected
But not my mouth.
This is not a poem
No
Its a rant
An angry rant from an ******* poet.
Who cannot
*speak

I dress in black
I listem to screamo.
Asking alexandria and
Bmth all day
But emo tho?
I dunno.
I like black alot.
I wear it alot
And  skinny jeans  are my best friend.
People tell me I'm emo
Like it's  a bad thing.
I think being emo is a beautiful  thing.
I dont cut.
Never will
But i stand down sometimes.
Being emo  should  be a privilege.
Its not bad.
If i am emo
Than i am strong
I have a spirit not rivaled by many.
I can endure being screamed at because i prefer it in my music.
I will grow out my hair because i can
And my band t shirts will hold their own special place in my closet.
If i am emo
Than so be it
But  i will not be slandered
For who i *am

Child sitting in the wind.
Poetic motion to ease his troubled mind.
His best work at hand.
Love life's  troubled.
Girl he loves,
Troubled.
School life is going south.
Bullied by his parents.
Tough  life he's  living.
Misunderstood.
Suicidal as ****.
Viewed as some wierdo schmuck.
He writes
They read.
He swears beauty doesnt last
He's  seen  it all before.
Comes up with his name
bleeding diamonds
This name holds himself more power
More meaning.
Zach seemed to have been forgotten.
And all thats left his the wind and his poems.
His life
Seems helpless.
Girls seem uninterested
Whats there to love about him?
He was always forced into  secrecy  
Never won a girl's heart in his life
Wanted the best
Only as b.d he knew
How to share who he  was
Only one best friend
Only two talents.
One: writing
Two: screamo.
Put them  together.
Some type of fan base?
Are you?
No.
Maybe
Let him bleed the  diamonds
He needs to bleed
To be
heard
understood
*loved

I failed to see your  pain.
Im sorry.
I only hope you can get better.
I failed to realize how bad things were
Im sorry.
I failed to learn the signs  when  to act.
Im sorry.
Please  dont relive the  pain.
Grow from it.
Dont be frivaless.
Dont
Please just
Relax
I know its hard
And i failed to see it
But  im here  with and for you
Not until  the day ends
Not until  the night  ends
But  here  day or night  for support.
I've  failed enoigh
But  i wont fail you

We always  need something new.
Have you noticed?
We have become so unpleaseable
And everything  comes so upgradeable.
I miss simplicity.
The days were i didnt worry much.
Getting older *****.
We got jobs
Families
Harder School
And all of thay stuff
But yet
We want more
More
More
More
New things
More
Fun
More
Drama
More
Hate.
We need to take a mintue
To be greatful
For what we have been lucky  enough
To have

Please
*say something

I hear  your  words,  dear friend.
I hear your  pain
Frustration
The  need for imancipaton.
I know that you are tired
im sorry
I wish  i could be there  to help you.
I wish i could be right by your side
Being the shoulder  you need to lean on.
I wish i could be whatever you need me to be
So i will be.
In any and every way i can

You are worth it to me
You are so much to me that i genuinely worry about you.
Im tired too.
Im tired of being forgotten.
Im tired of my thoughts being forbidden.
Believe  me,
i know
But trust me, I'm  here with you
for when you need me
And when you dont
I will stand with you because you would for me.
Please remember i am with  you.
This poem is for you.
Dont forget im here.
I always will be.
Hold on.
We're  in this together.
Though different situations,
Enough  is the same
For me to
advocate
**for you

My nostrils  burn.
******* shot up to my brain.
Addiction hurts.
Its not too late.
Rehab.
Decaf.
All the same.
Babe,
Help  me
Dont let me die

Please dont think change  is out of reach.
So many  have lost hope.
me included
But we cannot give up.
Look up to the sky
Or look me in the eye
And say
"im going to  be okay"
Hope exists
We only need to seek it

How many people tell you that?
Maybe  alot?
Maybe not very often?
Well  i love you!
Yes,  you!
The reader.
YOU!
I love you!
You may be thinking
why?
BECAUSE  dear reader, you cared to read my words!
YOU took this time to let me tell you i love you.
I love your individuality
you dont know me
I dont need to.
You are a beautiful  person, no matter what anybody says.
Reader,
You are so kind.
There is alwaus something we can do to make others happy.
Have i made you happy yet?
I am a lover,
Are you?
I love you, dear reader i really do.
I love you regardless  of gender,
Color
Or age.
Because u are reading this
Despite my gender color and age
Correct?
For those that know me
Hey!
For those who dont
Hi! Im zach
And welcome to my world.
Sometimes sad.
But right now,
Its full of you
*i love you

I cannot win
I am destroyed.
Built back up
Then recked again like a stack of bricks.
I am suffering.
Can you tell?
I know you see it.
My mood shifting hour  to hour.
Dont ask me if im okay.
I nevr asked for you to pretend like you care.
Dont ask me what i want to do
Because honestly
I wanna  run far away.
Dont treat me like i matter
We both know i dont
you've  shown me that
I am suffering.
Is it  that hard to see?
I write  to ease my mind
But it ends  up ignighting flames.
I have a storm in my heart.
Anger due to loneliness.
Whats wrong with  me?
Why doesnt anyone love me
(Or if  they  do, tell me)
???
Tell me why the **** i am this way.
Why is  everyone  happy but me.
I want change
That's  not over my horizon,  is it?
Why am i always alone.
Alone is a captive audience.
Listening to my disparity   just to matter
To someone.
My tears run  dry.
Then  streak down
Because they  were forgotten.
What if i told you there  was no tomorrow for me.
*** someone help this kid.
Because suicidal thoughts are the telling point of need for help.
Are you ******* kidding me?!?!
You should know i need help from the day you notice bruises.
Not  by the day i say i want to end it all.

Mom told me she'd  be there till the end.
But the day she found out her son had severe depression,
It was like she left him completely.
I wish she could see im gone already.
Her little boy,
Her little Zachary
Has died.
The day she overlooked dad's aggression, i was left motherless.
Her son needs help.
I need help.
So i write.
And you read.
The process we've  done so many times before.
Forgive me,
Im struggling.
I know you see it.
*so,
Whats next

Something is coming guys...
*and im not sure i want to be around  to find out  what

***** bottles all over his room.
She's  gone.
Do to failure  in a nutshell.
His xbox broke
His parents divorced
His job was lost.
He had no where to go.
No place to live
No girl to love.
Took a glock
To the woods
And
Ended it all.


Police  called  her house
Shr heard the news.
Her ex was  dead.
Not even a month had passed
Yet he took  it so hard.
She  bought  his favorite liquor
Drank it  all that night.
She had a job
She had  a new boyfriend
She haf a home
Lots of money
But no one understood
Her guilt
She  put him down
So much
She didnt know she hurt him so much
So
She grabbed a rope
And jumped
With a slight snap
She was gone.
The two were expecting  eachother
Somewhere  in the vast
Idea of
Time.
Love is crazy

Before there was snapchat
There was Instagram
Before instagram
There was Tumblr
Begore tumblr
There was twitter.
Before  twitter
There was Facebook
Before  Facebook,
There  was myspace
Before myspace
There was dating sites.
Before dating sites there was games
Before those  computer  games
There was a keyboard and monitor.
Before the keyboard and monitor  there was
*human interaction

Met
In a time
When needed.
She
Is a girl
Worth meeting.
She always knows what to say
Though sometimes a delay
She makes this day today.
Im not flirting
But it must be said
This girl
Is beautiful.
Ive never seen a brighter  girl.
She knows the  world
Just as well as i do
And we both know a narcissist
In our homes.
This girl,
Just so **** funny.
Makes me laugh
Makes my day all sunny.
I know this doesnt cut the gap between us and our distance
But  it doesnt matter
Because friendship doesnt know distance,
Only persistence
She comforts me.
And i know i try,
But she knows why.
There is no limit of compliments
I can convey to this girl.
This girl
Wasnt afraid to know me
Im curious why
She accepts me so well.
Humor
And
Wit
Makes this girl even more better
More and just a bit.
This girl comes to know me
And more she has yet
I look forward
To taking those steps.
Friends and family
Yet already.
Time knows no difference
Between  laughs
And tears
Both shared
Between years to come

Thank you
For coming into my life

Words are nothing without its speaker

Sports are nothing without its players

Poetry is nothing without its poets

Clothes are nothing without its wearer.

Just as i am nothing without a lover

Bitter  tongues
Set forth
The best example

There is a time and a day
For everyone to shine.
Whens mine?
When will someone take a look at
Who i am.
See
I wish this world was different.
Less talk and more look.
Because people like me take the end of the stick.
Starving ourselves to match your definition of perfection.
Molding ourselves from what we see
And not by what we feel.
The world really is a ****** up place.
Everythings a race.
Who will blow up next.
See,
I dont want to shine too bright
But someday
I want to prove that
everyone is great.
There is something to love about every single person who exists.
everyone
Society is so focused on negativity.
On drama.
But what hasnt been ventured is
Focusing on kindness.
Negativity is ugly
So hurtful.
Especially when it seems like everyone has something to say.
So what do you say?
Nothing negative i hope
Because as you are reading this,
I am speaking to you
Maybe you are thinking
Whatever
You dont know anything.
But i know some things.
And i know that everyone has something to love about themselves.
Find yours.
What is it?
Its time to start thinking
About a little
(rather big thing)
Called *happieness

Quiet.
Some wish for it
Some hate it
I hate quiet
When its quiet,
There is no life.
No comotion.
I need a little life.
A little comotion.
I cant live without it
Which is why
im so worried about you
I long to hear anything from you.
You said you were feeling bad.
But i cant help but think im at fault for something.
Or you maybe just dont like me.
No.
I thinks its all in my head.
My head keeps spinning.
These bad thoughts keep winning.
I hope we can break this silence soon
or i think i might just go crazy

Are you okay?
Is quiet just your friend?
Or is it my foe?
Well i sure hope to know.
Because for me
Quiet can be
Quite scary.

I wont stop thinking of you
til death
I love you
I hope you speak of me
til death
I wish  i could love you.
Give you what  you want.
What you need
What hasnt been given.
I swear i would love you til the end.
Death could not seperate me
Nor rushing tides that crush and tear.
My heart  is yours.
It is in your hands.
You are beautiful.
Smart as hell.
Love your words.
Love who you are.
I wish i could hold you
I want  to look in your eyes
And see life
My dear,
I wish i could be there
til death
But honey  
I just  dont know
I dont know if you like me
Or if things just appear this way.
God
you are perfect
Everything .
I cant explain this.
Im a terrible  poet
But i write for you.
I will write for you
til death
Even if i never see you
My vivid memory will provide  flawlessly.
Beautiful
Caring
Passionate
I see your need
For love
To be loved
Because you are
Like me

I love you.
Believe me.
I hope we can be together
*til death