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Sep 2018 · 1.8k
To Save the Wold
I may not be able to save the whole world, but I hope that my words can one day save someone’s world.
How to become popular.

If you are reading this, it’s probably an indicator that your life is rotten, and that you really just need a quick guide to get through this curse we call the teenage years. Well, read carefully, because messing up just once can ***** up your chances with that girl you have a crush on in 2nd period, or your chances of getting voted in as president for student counsel, or simply having any hope of getting a homecoming date. If you are reading this, it likely means you want to fit in…and everyone wants to fit in.  First, you have to be able to recognize the social patterns, manipulation by the media, and, most importantly, you have to be able to know yourself. It starts with the man in the mirror. Staring at that man who barely seems to glance back, and deciding to change him…for them. First, open Facebook. This platform, which you just barely are allowed to be on, has etched its way into your everyday routine. Even before you have the day’s outfit on, check Facebook, twitter, Instagram, whatever you got. Because in the end, this is what counts. This is where people decide if you are an acceptable addition to the mainstream society we have all come to know and love. Anyways, on these platforms are your social rating. Social rating you say? Yep. Whether you like it or not, it exists. It’s called different things based on what social sites you use. It could be labeled “followers”, or “friends”, or whatever it is that they decide to call it. This number is key, and the goal is to watch it go up and up and up, until you are on top of the world, known by everyone you see, and get 4000 likes in the first hour of posting a selfie. But, in order to get that kind of power, it starts with what’s in your closet and your dresser. Those clothes that you spent way too much money to own is what is going to get the girl, start new trends, and set you apart from the crowd. Of course, you want everything to be coordinated, every shirt, every pair of pants, every pair of shoes, EVERYTHING must match. One bad outfit could risk your followers, your friends at school, and your overall popularity in general. Instead of being told you look like a snack, people will look at you like a moldy piece of cheese, and that…well that’s social suicide. The moment you let your guard down about your appearance, even if it’s a zit on the side of your face, or a blackhead that decided to say hello to your friends, you risk your social position that you worked so hard for. Once you’ve picked out another flawless outfit, made sure there’s not one wrinkle in sight, made sure that those shoes you bought are spotless, then, and only then, can you step into society’s playground. If you’re old enough to own a car, make sure it’s clean, just in case you wanna show that girl you like your wheels, and maybe offer her a ride sometime. If you’re not old enough, or maybe just don’t have the funds to meet this accommodation, than ask whoever drives you to school to leave early, just so you can avoid everyone at school seeing the 10 year old family vehicle that’s been the taxi, the fun bus, the vehicle of doom, the everything-that-you-don’t-want-people-to-see kind of car. But of course, if you don’t have a car, but mommy and daddy have been fortunate enough to buy a sports car, than show up during the rush of other kids getting to school and ask your guardian to rev the engine extra loud so people know you arrived. It’ll look great, trust me. Once you’re at school, you’ll want friends that will make a big deal about you to greet you as you step out. Make sure they’re loud, and make sure you’re loud about the crazy crap you may or may not have done last night. In the end, it’s all about how they see you. Do this or lose your status.
This was made to call out society, and how **** runs...
Jan 2018 · 457
Stand Strong
The best thing keeping me up is the people who try to tear me down.
Jan 2018 · 427
Destiny
Life isn't a script.
though a small 4 word poem, it can mean so much to the people who need to read it.
Nov 2017 · 585
This Thing We Call Life
How can one be expected to put their best foot forward if there is nothing worth moving towards?
Nov 2017 · 620
My lyric
It’s amazing,
The places you learn to navigate
*in the dark
Oct 2017 · 525
Wisdom
Once you find yourself,
you can free yourself
Oct 2017 · 339
Mirror
If his soul is darkened by his experience, he has the greatest opportunity to improve the man he sees in the mirror.
Sep 2017 · 422
I Am Me
Through adversity,
I show my diversity
Sep 2017 · 365
Stay
Time is short,
*so just keep living
He's awake again.
Caught up in the dreams, in the memories,
haunted by that last kiss still lingering on his lips.
Still craving her touch, he's awake.
He's starving for that love,
He was sure he was careful.
In fact, sometimes it was if he was tiptoeing around broken glass in the dark
He looked up for one second to see where he was going and
ouch
He's awake again.
Countless nights of counting sheep,
by now he could describe every detail of the herd.
And by now he could describe how the heart splinters before it's about to snap.
And by now he could describe in perfect detail how poison spreads through the body, through the veins, and into the mouth that he used to be able to use so well,
yes by now
He's awake again.
Awake in a bed meant, built for two,
He spreads across the sheets,
but would much rather a crowded bed with a woman that he loves
than a full bed with no one to hold
These times are hard.
The walls feel cold.
The room feels so small without her.
The world feels small without her
Jul 2017 · 1.1k
When I fell for Her
Your eyes as oceans,
your body undiscovered lands,
baby I want to hold you
your body between my hands
Jul 2017 · 593
Fix Me
No one wants to play with a broken toy
no one wants to be with a broken boy
May 2017 · 500
Amen
I'm sorry
I tried to see
I tried to feel
but you still told me I was wrong
forgive me, lord
*im still not enough
May 2017 · 538
THE TRUTH
Have you ever felt alone?
Surrounded by talking people
But you hear nothing
Only see their lips moving.
Your lips are sealed.
You can’t find words to say
The world just shuts you out.
Somehow, being alone gets to be the new normal.
Surrounded by happiness, but you never felt your own, only imagining what it must feel like to be joyful. You crave those emotions like the sun on your skin after a cold winter day.
And in this world that we live in
Expectations consume us
They change us.
They drag us as we hold on to anything, screaming in terror
Because we are noticing that we are becoming what we said we’d never be.
Trying to be more masculine
Maybe more feminine.
More tough?
As for me,
I told myself from day 1 that I’d always be unique
I’d say to my mom
I’ll never change
I’ll always be me.
But I got older,
And the world got faster.
I heard people say
You gotta be a man.
Become a muscular, strong, independent man.
Because with being a man,
You don’t cry
Tears are for the weak.
It’s a sad thing that us men choke on our own tears,
Because men aren’t supposed to show the ocean on our cheeks.
Its painful to not feel pain.
It’s almost like a blade whispers to our heart every time we try to feel something, as we try to sympathize.
We get tangled up like a squirrel in the trap that was always there waiting for it.
But we’d rather take the scars than whisper the need for help.
I feel so dead when I cannot talk about what I need too.
I feel dead when I cannot cry when I need to cry
Because even I would rather drown in my own tears rather than let them show.
These expectations of what makes a man destroy me. .
Because all they do is create ways for people to tell me what I’m not.
They say I’m just not good enough
Not man enough
Not talented enough
As most of you know,
I make music.
According to some people, I’ve become a meme for that.
Which, in all honesty, I understand.
It isn’t everyday that you see someone doing something they’re passionate about.
And through it all,
No matter how much work I put into it,
There is still people that will hate my work.
Still people that will tell me that I’m not a man for what I do.
There are some who say that my music is a direct product to daddy issues
And maybe you’re right.
But what you don’t see
Is that I’m breaking out of my mold
And becoming me.
Rather than take this hate like a man
I decide to speak against it
And tell you why I really make music.

I perform metalcore because it is me.
Because I want you to hear my emotions
Rage,
Happiness
And every emotion between,
But if you would read the lyrics
You’d know what else I write about.
Some even with happiness.
Through music
I want you to see my tears,
I want you to see my fears
I want you to see that I am human,
Not a man.
That I have desires
That I have hope
That I have pain.
That I inspire to be something big.
I look in the mirror
And I see a failure, sure.
We all see failure in ourselves.
But when I look into my own eyes,
I see someone who has seen a lot
And someone who wants to do a lot
On stage and live.
Sort of like this
But obviously,
This is poetry.
But is poetry a manly thing either?
Stereotypically no, but unfortunately, I try not to abide to stereotypes,
That was sarcasm there.
I am a man
No matter how much I say I wont,
I will still try to match what a man should be.
But what I want you to know,
*Is that you should open your mind before your mouth.
for the weird ones
May 2017 · 494
Freak$how (song)
Act one, scene one
Decide your stance
Get a glimpse now
See us freaks
Ohhhhhhhhh!
You act like depression is a game
Two cards and a loss
Gamble the odds of life and death
We’re all a bit crazy
Hiding in the mirror,
Hiding in the mirror
You act like depression is a game
But you never took it seriously
You never took me seriously.
You doubt me, you think I’m a freak
(But you’re not wrong)
So play my game
You’ll never be the same.
But now the noose is round my neck
And I’m ready to go to hell.
You act like depression is a game
But just wait ‘till the world forgets my name.
Wanna see a magic trick?
I’ll leave the world
Give me 20 seconds and
I’ll leave the world.
You’re gonna cleanse the world from us freakshows,
But what you don’t understand
I’ve got the universe in my hands
Moving yo’ ******* like chess pieces
The freaks make it happen
We make it happen.
Oh, you were sick from the start
Categorizing all that you see
But as long as you keep judging,
You won’t know the first thing ‘bout me
Some people hide behind labels
People like me show the world.
And all your rebuttals
The things that don’t make sense
And we know
We know
We know.
The warfare that claims us all!
Middle fingers up, let’s go!
Join me, all you freak shows
Druggies and all
***** and all
Daddy issues and all!
Calling all freakshows.
Yeah we just want to die
We just wanna die
No one wants to ******* die!
You condemn me for what I say
You just want me to shut the **** up
Bite my tongue off, mouth full of blood
I bite my tongue, you bite my lip
A mouthful of saliva, you can’t even handle me
*****, don’t speak to me
You’re obsessed with ***
And no one checks
Where’s your morality?
I take a breath, a single breath
As I feel your bones rise off my chest
What a relief it is that you’re just like me.
This is your song, little angel
Only because you’re a freakshow, too.
So as depression calls my name,
I’ll make sure you remember my name.
So bow down!
***** bow down!
You thought this depression was a joke
So make me happy
Make me happy
Just another *****
Just another pitch
And just wait
Sensor, sensor
Sensor the children
Sensor your mouth
Don’t be obscene
Issues, issues
Lord knows I’ve got em.
My heads spinning like a go round’
I’ve been round
I’ve been here
Call me crazy ‘cause I dare speak
Hush my mouth, little mama, I don’t wanna speak
Call me a freak
Make me a freak
All I want to be is a freak
Freak
Freak
******* freakshow
So join me
Join me
Bring me your depression
Bring me your noose
Bring me your lust
Bring me your knives
Bring me your problems
And I’ll show you a mother ******* freakshow!
By me
May 2017 · 3.0k
Support is essential
Support is like oxygen
*everyone needs it
May 2017 · 1.2k
TIRED
Sometimes it just needs to be said
*Im so tired
May 2017 · 585
Moksha
Why can’t I see?
What they want me to be
Why can’t I say?
What they need me to say
Because the more I go
The more I keep falling apart
I keep dying
Endless circles for what I’ve done
So if I keep going
If I keep falling
Will there be any hope for me?  
All I wanted to do
Was make a sound that could be heard
Not for every ear
Not for all to hear
But just to those
Who want to get through life
Who are done suffering just like me
Make me see
Just how eternal love can me
Please just ******* show me.
I go through loops and loops,
Constant hell, because I never learn
I never learn.
So will you die for me
Just so I can see
Die for me
So I can see
Cut me to show me that I bleed
This is my only need
Cut me, cut me
Cut me out!
I need this
I need this
I need this presence!
I need you in me!
Call to action
Bring the moksha.
Bring me peace.
I can’t take this
Day to day
I keep forgetting to breathe
Falling in the ocean
Failing at everything
So end this loop
And all that I know, baby
And bring me to a brand new world.
Rise me up like Lazarus
Breathe life into my bones
Recreate me,
Make me whole.
This circle of hell
Is so real that I can’t tell
What is real
What is fake
These walls keep closing in
Hold me closer, baby
Don’t let me fall
Shame is unforgiving
I know my past
What I am asking now
Is that you please, hold me up
Please, for god’s sake
Hold me up.
God forgive me
I just need this boat to float
God forgive me
I just need this boat to float
God forgive me
I just need this boat to float
Baby, help me
Make me see
Just how eternal love can be.
Make me see
Just how eternal love can be.
upcoming song.
May 2017 · 425
Human
Cut me to show me that I bleed
May 2017 · 529
To her.
Make me see
*just how eternal love can be
May 2017 · 443
Who do you love?
I love my dog
*what about you?
May 2017 · 539
Ouchy!
When I was a kid,
Whenever the word, 'Ouchy" was used, my mother would rush to my assistance.
At the age of three, I realized that every time I said that golden word, my mother would come.
So I decided to keep saying it.
I craved my mother's attention.
I would scream, "Ouchy" as if I had just lost a finger.
She would run to me and I would only smile.
"Only kidding* I would say.
But see, now I realize that that's gone.
It wont be coming back any time soon.
See because now I'm on my own.
I look out the window,
see how the sun and the moon revolve around each other.
like a budding friendship,
swayed by the moon,
where the sun is hot
and the moon is bright.
Just like the way my mom used to make me feel.
The more I've grown
the more I realize,
hell, I need my mother
Because now if I say Ouchy!
no one gives the slightest bit of a ****
When I was young,
when responsibilities where irrelevant,
when "ouchy" was my call-sign
I abused it. I abused that time.I used it for personal gain.
Now, I'm a nobody.
Doesn't feel good now that I'm an average citizen.
I have a story,
I used to tell my mother "ouchy" for her attention.
But so did the other hundred people behind me in the welfare line.  
Now, average faces in these average places are meaningless.
I walk the same streets I did when I was a kid, hand in hand with my mother.
With her, every pace seemed to be an adventure.
With her, every place was a new sight, even if I had been in the pizza shop a billion and one times.
So now I stand in the very same pizza shop
standing on the same tile floors
with the same smell of rising doe and pepperoni dancing in the air.
Walking in,
I wasn't paying attention and shoulder-checked the door
and felt myself whisper "Ouch"
Amazingly enough,
mom wasn't there.
She didn't **** out of the clouds, with an epic crash as she executed a perfect landing, her cape flowing in the wind.
No, instead, as a tear hit my cheek,
(because I did hit it hard)
No one even looked back.
Instead I just waltzed straight in.
Ordered my childhood favorite pizza
(pepperoni & mushrooms)
and took it home.
Couldn't help but to keep whispering, Ouchy, Ouchy
It felt so weird to say it again.  
Even weirder
To simply have no one respond
So this is just a weird way of saying
thanks mom, for covering my every ouchy
even if,
they *weren't real
To Mom
Apr 2017 · 387
Just a word for your day
Apr 2017 · 308
It's just me today
Apr 2017 · 352
The Carnival
Why can’t you look at me as normal?
Why do you see me a freak?
Why don’t you think that my heart can’t break?
Why can’t you understand that I own my own pain?
That I drive myself insane trying to become something new.
But when I say that I hurt, its, “who knew?”
So put me in a cage,
Condemn me for wishing for normality
That wish led to my fatality.
So I am here
With the ones they call odd
The ones you laugh at
The ones you question
Because if I can’t be normal, than no one can
Spend my life wishing to be larger than life
Wishing that people would see me, and not for my appearance.
Because as this is written, I am in pain
At this time I have no hope.
So go and tell me
“No need to mope”
But hell, not even the pope
Could pray the things I need prayer about.
That’s why I fell so far behind
Because I thought there was another path to find
And music was the only way I felt right
The notes where my eyes to see the light.
But you still laugh at me
Because my music is not sung at church
Because I scream
I am labeled a freak.
But if I don’t have talent
Why am I still writing on?
Because one day
You will remember the remraf name
When I claim my fame,
You will burn in the flame of my darkness
Of my shadow
So welcome to the carnival,
Where the lowest of the low find the highest of the high
Because today
Is the day
We rise,
Every “freak” in the world
Rise.
Because a freak is the new normal
And if you don’t agree,
Than you can stand before me
And tell me all my faults,
Tell me my insecurities.
And when you’re all said and done
It’ll be my turn to pay my respects
Because when you looked down at us
You forgot that even you had overseers.
Because what you do
What you say
Is downright *****.
I am angry at your actions
Treating me as a carney boy
I am no freak
I am no freak
I am no freak
Leave me be!
Oh!
Leave this alone
Let me live my life
So what if you don’t like my music
So what that you don’t like my style
So what that you are to ***** to make your own
So what?
So what?
Apr 2017 · 582
Little Red
Little red, little red
Why do you cry?
You should’ve know the wolf lurks in the sky
Little red, little red,
Why do you try?
We all know how the story ends
Invite the evil in
Expect it to plant a seed.
Breathe in the bitter air
And don’t expect life to play fair.
The child walks the thin path
And the wild walk on no path
So look what you hath done.
These problems that you’ve created,
Cannot just disappear
You have to face your own demon
Not play it by ear.
Sometimes the truth hurts, little red
Sometimes life is bigger than fairytales.
Sometimes you have to think the bigger thought
Sometimes you have to learn the lesson that needs taught.
Little red,
Learn from goldilocks.
She learned too quick
That sometimes, it’s so hard to pick.
Life is never three options,
Life doesn’t ask twice
Life can’t give a potion,
And make everything okay.
Wake up now,
On the road to the house,
Because one day,
You’ll be dead as a mouse.
Little red, little red,
Why do you pout?
Little red, little red
Stand up and shout.
There is a world beyond the wolf
Little red, didn’t you see it coming?
Don’t you ask the pigs?
Don’t you ask the bears?
Don’t you ask the storytellers?
So by the time you deliver the package,
You’ll be invited to a lifetime of suffrage.
Welcome home!
Welcome to a never ending story!
Welcome do depression,
Where everyone expects to live a fairytale.
Life’s no fairytale.
Life isn’t a mother at the book
Life isn’t a father who cares,
Life isn’t a family who misses you
Little red, little red,
Please go now
I cannot continue to warn you
About the ***** things around.
Word spreads fast!
You won’t last!
Little woman!
Look at your feet
They’ll take you places far away,
Places that you’re safe to stay.
Little woman!
Walk from the evil
Come to a better place, and end it here.
Little woman!
This is your story,
Why can’t you break the chain?
This is your story,
So make it end in glory!
Little red, little red,
Carry your basket,
Swing it from side to side.
Watch the world ‘round you
Cause the pied piper will play his tune
Sway you from side to side
Until you collide
With reality.
Little red, you are not reality!
Escape.
Go, escape.
This story ends here
The story has to end now.
Will be a song
Apr 2017 · 933
When I go live
I love the voices
the cheer
the madness
the love
the rage
the rush
There is nothing quite like being cheered for.
Like when me and my band play their favorite song.
THE CROUD GOES CRAZY
And I soak it up.
The ultimate cure to depression?
Join a band
perform
and Scream
#Metalcore
To my band: Bleeding Diamonds
https://soundcloud.com/user-123704847
Apr 2017 · 445
Untitled
"She's a devil. She's outrageous. Strange. Awkward."
-them
"That's why I love her"
-me
Apr 2017 · 474
4-19-01
Have you ever noticed how dark the world really is?
And I'm sorry if this isn't what you needed to hear.
So, if my sadness offends you, or hurts you, stop here



I feel alone constantly.
My insomnia consumes the one moment of the day when I am at peace,
I cannot ******* sleep
I have lost weight
My excuse:
I just..
don't eat the way I used too.
I'm white
somehow my school thinks that makes me ******* ******.
As if I read Mein Kampf as a Bedtime story
In fact I hate ****** with every bone in my body...just like everyone else.
WHAT A ******* SHOCKER, RIGHT?!?!
Anyways,
I have to go to a church function today
more like being dragged
See,
everyone says, "you have to believe in something"
But after 8 years with an abusive father,
An apparently "Blind" mother (for not seeing it, of course)
I have nothing to believe in, except for the evil in man.
I believe,
and you can quote me on this,
All I know is that I'm on the planet,
I don't give a **** how I got here, how this place was created,
All I know, I'm here,
I'm living
I'll have a little fun
and eventually die.
(which for some people, that day can't come soon enough)
Which reminds me,
hey, even though you don't know me
would you mourn me?
Would Hello Poetry be the same, with one soul lost?
Would you?
would you?
I don't expect you too.
I'm still here,
still living
still pushing
still breathing (but just barely)
Thanks for listening to me
taking the time to read me
because this poem is me.
I'm sorry I'm depressing
should I be though?
Ain't I like every other human being,
Allowed to feel?
I make music, you know.
It helps me not feel lost.
Not feel broken.
and what's funny,
people hate that about me, too
If you feel so compelled,
(and no, this poem is not just for you to hear my music)
here's the link
https://soundcloud.com/user-123704847
See,
I scream in my music,
some love it
I love it
its how I feel
how I bleed
How I survive
Some hate it,
devil worshiper
yep,
that's me
that guy who worships Satan
Which of course, isn't true.
But,
as always,
*life is full of assumptions.
thanks
I was always alone
I have never had a home
I am always in a state of depression
Make me feel a confession comin on
(yeahhhhh)
So rise up *******
Get on your feet
Yeah, yeah
Here’s what you’ve earned
Come on
For old time’s sake,
Fight what you create

Hit me!
Hit me!
One more time!
Take this fight!

You come with a coward4
You’ve never been anything
You and me
Round after round
Circles and circles abound.
You sly ****
Don’t you dare try to buck!
You think you have a gift
You destroy everything
The scene is over
You’re done, and lost
You *******
Did it ever occur?
The things you did
The things you said
Burned a hole, straight through me.
So I scream
On top of my mother ******* lungs
Hit me!
Hit me!
You ****** me over time and time again
So I rise, are you ready?
I have no regret
Just as you
Gave no pity
I shall
Destroy you.

*******
*******!
Faces disappear
You will vanish
Feel the blade
Whisper to your heart
Feel the pain
Bleed everywhere
A single shot
For you, just standing there.
Ugh!
I ******* hate you!
Die with the rest
I’ll save you a place in hell.
Burn like the rest!
Don’t you see?
What you’ve done to me?
Hit me!
Hit me!
Back the **** up!
I’ve got a ******* plan for you!
I’ve got a place for you!
You will rot.
I’m not your little *****
So **** with the devil,
Father of lies.
Cut the ties.
And forget your name!
Take a number
They call 6-6-6
You match so well
So little devil, burn to a crisp
I am done
I accept what you done
Pay it back sevenfold.
Hit me!
Hit me!
A new song
Apr 2017 · 902
Propaganda
Justice, justice!
When will we see it?
One little country, far from its roots.
Justice, justice
Where’s true liberty?
Truth is the never was, never is
Never will be equality!
too many people lose their way!
Corruption
Legal destruction
What do lives mean anymore?
Its time to stand
Its time to speak
It’s time to raise your voice
Sing it!
Justice, justice
Where is our freedom?

Justice, justice, will we ever be free?
These days,
It’s so hard to see
But you will never silence me
why are we scared of the police?
We gave them power
To protect in every hour, but now that we’re standing,
Who can make us fall?
Justice, justice,
Was there ever any?

We the people
In order to establish a more perfect union
Will oppress those in need
And give the power to the rich
We the people,
Will never have any power
We the people
Have had enough
Tell me this is justice
Tell me you are justified
tell me this is justice
Look me in the eye and tell me!
Silence me, I’ve proven my point
For ideas will forever run,
Bullets make you
Words make me
Here’s a punchline
Remember who you are!
When there are kids still hungry,
People getting hurt
Vets in the service
All of them never taken care of
A broken system,
Don’t take a genius to see. Call this propaganda
But I just can’t see it continue
So
Give me justice, or give me death
Justice or death
https://soundcloud.com/user-123704847/propaganda
Apr 2017 · 299
Enchanted
The more I watch the world
The more I see
(The more I see)
The more I watch the way you move
Got me so untangled
(So untangled)
The way you move
The way you speak
The way you show your love
The way you look at me
I feel so loved
(So loved, so loved)
Hush darling
Everything is alright
Hush darling
(Hush, hush)
Hush my darling
The sky bends just the right way
(the right way)
And I see you tonight.
This night
Seems so perfect.
Just you,
And me
On this enchanted evening.
On this night we both see
What’s in you and me?
I feel so deeply,
So strongly
So meaningfully
Of you
(Of you, baby)
I need
This moment
Just one touch
(Just one touch)
One way to see
That you really love me
The stars gaze at us tonight.
In your eyes, the light
Makes it okay tonight.
I can see
So beautifully
Perfection in all that I see

In…
You
(So baby the only thing I can say tonight
I love you,
I love you)
Hold your eyes
In the gaze of mine
Feel what we have together
Breathe life into me.
Love me
(As I love you)
Hold me
(As I hold you)
Kiss me
(As I kiss you)
On this enchanted evening.
more of a song
Apr 2017 · 321
Chapter Two
On my little island
On my little boat
Lay me to die
And slit my ******* throat!
Blame for the martyr
Never knew
All the pain
To arise
From the flames
I stare into the fire
See the burning soul
The only tragedy.
Into upmost savagery.
See the pain
Feel the pain
Because I am out there
Among all the crazy
Because I was never anything more than a pain in the ***
I was an unpredictable child
Raised by a demon
Now the ****** screams sound like poetry
Musical notes to my ears.
Admit me
For my insanity
I’ve gone crazy
All these things in my mind
All of the situations to take control
I can’t see my face anymore.
I am beginning to be heard
Ghosts don’t speak
So morn me
Morn me
Morn me!

and just Breathe.

I am contagious!
These thoughts won’t escape
The only god I prayed too
Left the line open on the other end
Only silence and
Emotional destruction.
Only isolation!
On my little island
On my little boat
Lay me to die
And slit my ******* throat!
Bleeding my sins from my veins
On my little island
On my little boat
Lay me to die
And slit my ******* throat!
Let me die on my own
A cabin in the woods
A place to call my home!
Insanity!
Can you believe I fell so far?
Humanity!
You let me down
I feel so alone
I can’t breathe, I can’t see, oh someone help me!
I can hear your voice,
But I can’t feel your touch.
I can smell your soul
But I can’t see your voice.
Intoxication
Meditation
All alone
On my little island
On my little boat
Lay me to die
And slit my ******* throat!
Grit my teeth
Fight another day
Do or die
Kiss me goodbye.
Roll the credits
Roll
Roll
Roll
Mar 2017 · 1.8k
Suicidal (I'm Sorry)
I kind of feel sad today.
Doctor says I have depression, and well...I believe him.
My dad thinks its just for attention
attention, uh?
I always feel ******.
It's an everyday part of my life now.
See, today someone stole my laptop charger at school,
and my project got stolen, too.
I've never cut in my life.
I've never done drugs.
I've drank a few times, but who hasn't?
I think I'm suicidal.
But I can't wrap my head around death.
It scares me.
So instead of dying,
I tear myself to pieces wishing for it to come,
but never speeding up the process
I feel ******.
I said that before.
Like, I follow a Shepard.
I'm a little lamb
but my blood seeps through my white wool.
Until eventually,
this little lamb is killed.
****
I'm sorry.
I ramble
I never make sense.
And they wonder why I am suicidal.
Last night,
there was a party.
Instead of going,
I bounced a tennis ball back and forth against my wall.
fun, right?
I hate the world,
but I'm scared to leave it.
Doctors don't help,
mothers don't help
Friends don't help
being single sure as hell doesn't help
I just feel ******.
Mar 2017 · 1.2k
Dinosaur
Mar 2017 · 296
Hell
If you're going to hell,
don't worry
*The best people are
Mar 2017 · 228
Untitled
Finally,
Under
Countless
Killings

My
Ending
Mar 2017 · 348
Make of it What You Wish
...
what's funny is
I always knew
Can mean so much for such different situations
Mar 2017 · 864
With a Mouth Sewn Shut
Locked away in bars
Being stuck in a cage only incises my rage
Can’t find ground
No one to be found
Raising hell all around
Welcome to my world, *****.
For years I’ve been running away
From the hateful things they try to say.
Held a knife to my throat
I really don’t mean to gloat
But the world is burning
The tide is turning
One giant mess after another and we only sit and watch.
Beg for help but strings bind my lips
I am forced to face the fury of the whips.
You were supposed to live
But instead we fall into body bags
Only given the right to a toe tag.
Im tired of waiting
Im tired of failing.
I’ve fallen too many times before
Each time experiencing a little more gore.
One count
No surprises
Going in for the ****
Acquainted with skill
Take the pill
Try to survive
Do anything you can to free yourself.  
Ghosts staring back
You are stuck
No luck

So why do you give a ****
Pain is surrounding
Only thing I can see
Bitterness miles away
I don’t care what I say
I can’t say a word
I can’t pray to a lord
When I have no idea what is even out there
Given one gift
Given one time
Given an opportunity
To break my chains
To escape these pains.
Given a time
To raise mother ******* up
Rise above the outlasting hate
And scream
Originating from the heart of pain
And I dare say I’d rather stand in the rain.
My mouth is sewn shut
I can never speak again
Running
Always running
Always dying
Always giving up
And-a one two three
Someone ******* save me
Cut the strings and allow me to
Scream.
Gone gone gone
I am always wrong wrong wrong.
I am putting the words into the fire
This is all I require
To be healed
To shine again
To rise again
Take my love
I shall only hate
Take my hate
I shall only mutate
Further into a spiral of darkness
When my shadow leaves at the break of dark.
Creating murals to depict my morals
I am alone
I am dead
Cliché says it best this isn’t my forte.
O father
Why have you deceived me?
What were you waiting for?
Why have you abandoned me?
I gave you everything
You gave me nothing.
And now the legion shall rise

Originating from the heart of pain
And I dare say I’d rather stand in the rain.
My mouth is sewn shut
I can never speak again
Running
Always running
Always dying
Always giving up
And-a one two three
Someone ******* save me
Cut the strings and allow me to
Scream.
Condemned to a cell
Yes, welcome to hell
Shackled to a wall
Grab a cup of coffee
And watch the world fall.
I tried to scream with a mouth sewn shut
But my friends, I ran out of luck
My lips shed blood
I’m drowning in my own flood.
What I once understood so well
Is proving to be no more swell
Than a classic enraged beating
That is so painful to take seating
As the world keeps heating
And we

Just

*watch
Mar 2017 · 399
Fingertips
With all that she's felt
She feels every memory.
Everyday that drags on
for an eternity.
What seems like a gift
is really just misogyny.
Misunderstood
She was never truly okay.
With all that she's felt
both emotionally and physically
They still hurt
It always hurts
and it burns
With all she's felt
since she was a child
(Her fingertips seemed to touch everything, she longed just to feel)
She would never understand
She would never be
more than
*misogyny.
Mar 2017 · 931
Romanticize Me
I bled for you,
I gave into you,
I wanted to make you happy.
I have an evil soul
I can never be made whole.
No room for a savior.
No way for anyone to save me
Paint me a picture
Make the world look so much better.
There is so much that is not okay.
So much pain
Every mistaken day.
Make me feel
Something real
Little child, such kind eyes
Don’t listen to these lies
They try to take you.
They try to break you
Don’t listen.
I am broken.
I feel nothing inside.
Lie to me
Tell me everything is okay
Lie to me
Open my eyes to a perfect world.
Make it like
The pain was never there.
Abusive scars just disappear.
Make me feel human
Tell me something I want to hear
Cause right now I can’t survive.
Pretend to love me
Pretend to know me
Give me a friend
Give me a lover.
Give me one more reason to live.
The gun
Is awful close
I can taste
The copper against my tongue.
I can’t breathe
Are you listening?
If I say
‘’I love you”,
Would you stay?
I know I am ugly, I am garbage
Which is why I need just one friend.
Tell me everything is okay.
Make me feel again.
Please revive my soul.
I don’t care
If what you say is true
I just need to hear it.
Been so alone
I can hear the world mocking me.
Night after night
Day after day
Depression holds me at ransom
Taking all the joy I ever knew.
Romanticize me,
My life depends on it,
*My life depends on it
Mar 2017 · 352
death
If death surrounds me,
I shall not stop it.
You will have to excuse me
This will definitely not be my best work.  
I was sort of blindsided.
This poetry café is not normal,
And as you could imagine
I had a hard time writing something hype
This was unexpected.
But sometimes the best things come out of unexpected moments.
A faint cheer in a cloud of fear.
Sometimes there are times where you can’t expect a thing.
So I guess this poem is supposed to be about believing we can do it.
I think we all know we can.
But sometimes even the strongest people fall.
Confidence is great, but ignorance is not.
We are not indestructible.
In fact, failure is inevitable.
The bigger picture is often obscure.
But if one is lucky enough to prevail
It seems as if they sail,
While the rest watch wondering,
What happened to us in which we couldn’t go that far?
We all have a jealous part of us.
We all have those feelings in which we are not proud.
Humanity is sometimes just as evil as it is beautiful.
If we look at history,
It seems to be crowded with pain and unfathomable mistakes.
But pain is not what it takes.
Don’t get me wrong
Life is no fantasy.
There is no magic.
No genies to make our dreams come true.
Instead we have to work hard for the things we get
And sometimes more often than not, we lose what we work so hard to build.
And I know, I know
I can hear it
What the hell am I talking about?
I’m not hitting the theme at all.
And I’m not, or am I?
Because yes we are going to fail
It is impossible not to.
But in fact when we fail,
We have just as big a chance to make a comeback.
Yes that failure leaves us cussin and fussin
But in reality that big picture that once looked obscure
Becomes just a bit clearer now that we have failed.
We cannot go on living life thinking we know everything because there is no room to learn.
If you want to believe that you can do something
You have to prove it to yourself before you tell others.
It starts with you.
You are the beginning of your story,
And you will be there to see the end.
You are present through all of your story.
That is important.
So you know how if you get into an argument
And you say, “You don’t know me”
Well who does know you?
No one truly knows you but yourself.
So you are the only one who can take you where you want to go.
So if you want to go far
You have to get yourself there.
And to get yourself there
You have to be willing to put in the work to get there.
So it’s up to you whether or not you can make it.
It’s your choice to believe that you can do it.
Because in the end
You will be the one to fly, or catch yourself when you fall.
I can stand here and tell you cliché
Don’t do drugs and never smoke,
Or I can simply tell you that the choice is yours.
An inspiring pep talk is only a pep talk
This poem is just a poem.
It’s up to you if you listen to me and what I’m saying
It’s also up to you to criticize my every word.
You can do anything.
But anything can be good or bad.
It’s your choice.
No one is stopping you,
And if they do,
Who cares?
Because they don’t know you, right?
It’s up to you.
Choose to succeed or fall
Either way,
*You can do it.
Feb 2017 · 1.9k
A single man's poem
This girl that I am seeing.
This perfect woman.
Makes me feel so alive.
The rush of every encounter
makes me so starstruck.
It's a wonder
how she loves
a person like me.
She holds me like my mother never did.
She kisses me like
I imagine the angels would.
Her love
always has  me begging for more.
And the goodness of her heart
compares her to a goddess.
Valentines day is tomorrow.
She is obviously the one
I really care about her.
Oh please tell me, can't you tell?
The things I could say,
the way I could tell her.
The many ways I want to tell her.
The things I can't tell her.
She is everything.
When I feel like nothing.
She proves that I am something.
Because with every emotion
I feel like I am flying.
She knows me for me.
Loves me for me.
She could choose anyone
but yet she holds my hand.
What did I do
to have her by my side.
Luck, no.
Just love, pure love.
The oceans
reflect in her eyes.
And when she cries,
the ocean rushes out.
Her skin
beautiful and clean.
Her lips hold the keys tho the unknown.
She blushes a lot.
But it's  perfect to me.
She's so insecure,
just why?
She is everything.
I would give my life for her.
Cut open my wrist and give her every last drop.
She is so perfect,
yet she is criticized so often.
She is called fat
she is called ugly
annoying
but I have never seen any of that.
To me,
she is her
and that is so much to say.
I love her.
Sometimes,
the only thing to say
Thank you
for loving
*me
I am single, just the things I wish I could say to someone.
Feb 2017 · 349
He
He
He is scared of everything.
He is abused at home.
He is afraid to cry, afraid to ask for any sort of help.
He is prideful
Some say it is his downfall.
He is afraid of his father.
His expectations cut at him like razors,
He was always bleeding somewhere.
He couldn't sleep at night.
The thoughts of his father's hate kept him up, sleepless nights and dozens of lost fights.
His bones ached from "punishments"
He wants to **** himself.
Pills wouldn't be enough
Cutting wouldn't be enough
Suicide itself wouldn't be enough.
He believed in God his whole life.
Until he decided to ask god to bring him to safety
And nothing happened
His loss in Christianity was like being shot,
just another wound
He was always alone.
At school, his silence echoed through the halls.
He often pondered what life would be like without him.
But then believed those thoughts were too common.
He believed he was nothing.
He believed he had truly been summoned to hell, but been aloud to live.
No one loves a loner
He told himself.
After all,
He'd seen the proof.
He counted the bruises that trailed his arms,
wishing he was aloud to feel something
but his emotions were as numb as the man inflicting the pain.
He was done.
He was sick.
But sometimes the sick don't get better
Happy endings are fairy-tales.
No mother could dare save him from himself...
Or his father.
He WAS SO ANGRY
THE HELL WOULDNT JUST go AWAY
HE CANT TAKE IT
SO THAT DAY
He took a gun
HELD IT SO CLOSE TO HIS FACE,
THE GUN FELT THE SWEAT.
THE GUN COULD SMELL HIS BREATH AS HE COULD SMELL THE GUNPOWDER.
Before long, he would be free
his soul
FLYING AWAY
becoming more than abuse.
He
had no real chance to live.
All these thoughts
come together like a sick narrative.
"Get over it"
"******* queer"
"Trash...he's ******* trash"
"*******, that kid"
PAIN
None of it matters though
because the gun already spoke
at the sound of a 5-block radius.
It spoke so loudly
one word
Bang
and the body released a river of crimson relief.
To flow
on
*to heaven.
Please help anyone who you see that just isn't okay. Sometimes, their life depends on it.
Feb 2017 · 845
He got on my nerves...
Has anyone ever told you that you're like a cloud?
...

**the moment you go away everyone else's day gets brighter
Feb 2017 · 585
Writing a Poem in Class
These are the thoughts I have in class.
there is no rule in this one, just my thoughts.
:
I wonder why we HAVE to learn chemistry.
She talks a little funny.
Well...thats okay, I do too.
Im not normal.
Im really not.
its to bad normality isn't taught
(to reader, yes you are reading inside my head...like a mind reader...how cool!)
I'm hungry.
I should eat a snack.
But I cant though!
its not allowed.
stupid rules.
i should be focusing.
chemistry is hard.
(I could make a terribly perverted joke right there, but I wont)
LOL
Am I making you laugh?
No?
**** it.
I've been told I'm funny
Mom said she was cooking BBQ pork...
cant wait for dinner
can you tell im hungry yet?
is this even a poem?
why are you reading this?
is it fun?
dumb?
****?
*******?
inspirational? (IDK how it would be but hey whatever floats your boat)
poems are cool
dont you think so?
but this isn't a poem.
is it?
is this what you call talent?
Or just rambling.
Both maybe.
I hate learning about Moles in Chemistry.
it makes no sense.
(I have such a hard time spelling sense)...-_-
but of course
it might
if i was really paying attention.

Instead of writing **** *** poems
such as this.
give this a like
if you enjoyed a glimpse
inside my ****** up head
*repost this
if this is 'hella you too
Feb 2017 · 330
...(a short poem)
If you took the time
to become who I want you to be
...
*You'd be dead
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