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Alexia Jan 2016
It's 2AM somewhere;
A lost soul sheds a tear.
It's nothing new to her;
She knows nothing but fear.
It's all the uncertainty
That she can't even bear.
It's a 5AM phone call
That she's praying she'll hear.
It's her chaotic mind
And the pain that will sear,
Scarring her with mem'ry
Forever, year after year.
Alexia Feb 2015
At that bridge we stood
On our last day together.
Haven't seen you since then,
But I'll always remember
The stars in you dark eyes
And your playful smile,
Wishing we could stay there
Forever, for a while.
But it was time for a change,
New beginnings, new ends.
Maybe in the future
We'll find each other again.
Alexia Feb 2015
Driving down a familiar road
           Memories flash
                     Anxiety rises
                              Stomach turns
                                          Drive faster
Escape
                                                 ­                   Lose  control
                                ­                                      
                          ­   **Dead end.
Alexia Feb 2015
Don't wake me up
I just want you to kiss me in my dreams
Forever
Dreaming about kissing you is really getting out of hand
Alexia Feb 2015
I wish I knew how you feel.
I wish I knew what's on your mind.
Do you think about me still?
Do the same things remind you of me?
Do you dream about me still?
Do you look for me in a crowded place?
Do you think I've forgotten about you?
Do you miss me?
Did you ever love me?
Do you still love me?
Are you hurting as much as I am?
I don't know I don't know I don't know.
I wish I could figure you out.
I miss you.
I don't know how or why.
I look for you in crowded places.
I still dream about you.
So many things still remind me of you.
I'll never forget about you,
And it's killing me inside.
Alexia Feb 2015
The urge to kiss you is like an inflating balloon
That is about to burst.
I'm staring into your eyes searching for a sign
That you want me too.
The tension between us is a rubber band
About to snap.
You lean in towards me and I cannot breath.
Kiss me now
Or I'll change my mind and turn away.
I'm scared
To feel what you and I could be.
Alexia Jun 2015
Loneliness is a weird thing. You're not really alone in feeling alone. Tons of people feel the same way that you do, more or less. The thing is that you don't give a **** about anyone else's loneliness when you're lonely yourself. When you feel lonely, all that you know is that you're alone, feeling terrible about yourself, and you want someone or something to change that for you, but not for anyone else. You don't care if there are other people feeling this way, and why should you? You have to fend for yourself to get through every single day when you're lonely. You can't be worried about anyone else's loneliness because you don't even know what to do about you're own. Sometimes you even feel lonely in a room filled with people. Why? Maybe you don't belong, or you don't feel like you belong. You feel neglected or awkward or whatever. These people around you might not even see you in that way at all. Maybe they actually enjoy your company and want you to be around them. Well then why do you still feel so ******* lonely? Something in your mind is not allowing you to connect with these people enough to relieve your loneliness. Inside you still feel like no one really gets you. Sure, tell a few jokes here and there, everyone laughs. They love you! But do they really know you? You know they don't. How could anyone understand you when you don't even understand yourself. But if you don't even understand yourself, aren't you alone within yourself?
Alexia Feb 2015
Missing you,
Almost always
Late nights
Break down
That song
Turn it off
Familiar place
Drive away
Smells like you
*Hold my breath
Alexia Feb 2015
I'm numb,
Nothing to say,
Nothing to do.
So I'll just lay
Here on my bed
All **** day.
Is this what you wanted,
To hurt me this way?
If so, I ask why?
Tell me, I pray.
I'm a joke to you, right?
Maybe a game to play.
Well, that's not how I work
So I'm walking away.
idfwu
Alexia Feb 2015
My hands running through your hair,
I feel each strand between my fingers.
Your hands intertwined with mine,
We hold on tight and never let go.
Your arms surrounding my body,
I am protected from this wretched world.
In a world that does not accept us,
We find peace within each other.
Our love is all that matters.
Alexia Feb 2015
Love;
It sneaks up on you
Like a fearless lion,
Approaching its prey.
It's feirce and strong
And overwhelming.
You never see it coming,
But once it pounces,
There's no getting out.
You might fight
For your life, but
There is no use.
Before you know it,
Love is ripping
Your heart out,
Eating you alive.
Love is a preditor,
And you are it's prey.
Alexia Feb 2015
One bad thing after another,
Why try to change it?
Self-destruction begins to smother
The emotions inside.
Might do something I'll regret,
But what does it matter?
My life isn't over yet.
This series of misfortune
Will continue forever.
So I'll drink this whole bottle, but
Still happiness comes never.
So I'll pop all these pills, and maybe
Some lust might fulfill
What I'm missing inside.
All this at my own will
Because I don't want to know better.
Stone-cold heart in a locked cage,
I will never let anyone in.
Self-destruction is my hobby.
Self-pity is my sin.
Alexia Sep 2015
i am trapped
there is no escape
the emotions that flood me
there's no way out
it's hard to breath
is there light at the end
of my unspoken misery
like a desert in a drought
my soul thirsts for freedom
i am trapped
my mind is full of doubt
no way i'll make it out alive
but my heart is hopeful
one day i will resurface
freedom will cure my soul
no more anxiety
no more pressure
no more sadness
no more guilt
no more regret
just happiness
Alexia Jan 2016
Your head is so hard,
It could break me to pieces,
But your touch is so soft
That my heartbeat, it ceases
For a short amount of time
Until you break me once more;
Your heart wants to love me,
But you're mind closes its door.
Alexia Jan 2016
Wake up,
And come over.
**** time; run red lights.
Every minute feels longer.

Unlock my door.
Please, come in.
Alexia Feb 2015
Now and then,
I look for you.
What are the chances
That you'll be
Where I am?
For a short moment,
Passing by
On the road
Or at that place,
I see a glimpse of you.

Your memory fades
Into the distance.
What are the chances
That you'd be here
Of all places?
Very little.
A piece of me
Feels relieved
While the other half,
Disappointed.

What are the chances
For us to meet again?
I don't know.
I should hope
For never.
I suppose that
Fate will answer
When need be, but
What are the chances
For you and me?

— The End —