Trickling words
Drip drop
Flickering words
Burn hot
Whispering words
Never forgot

Sunflower 🌻
Reach for the clouds
Extend your petals forth
Craving the light
But without rain
Should wither away
Cracked leaves remain

Sweat trickles down my nose
And onto my gasping lips
Begging for a gulp of air,
Begging for sweet relief
As my legs start to go numb
And my ears ring, head pounds
But I keep going and going...
Until I hear it cry out
“2 miles, Workout Complete”

I have lost my thoughts
lady muse has disappeared
and now I am lost

The Fire Man wandered through town
Looking for a gal
To find some peace of mind one night
Clothes nowhere to be found

A Woman of Ice caught the mans eye
His flame catching hers as well
A storm of passion blew between
Unknowingly brewing a spell

A Water Child was brought about
Come from their flames and ice
A child so sweet, he lifted their curse
As in him they found a new life

I placed my toe on
The ice, falling in too fast
Please try to catch me

Many a people hand out
Flowers as Bandaids
Mistakes made, Lying sick
A bouquet is thrown in the mix

I wish I could hand out flowers
But I know that would be strange
Sunflowers to the girl I once loved
To show her life has meaning
Lillies to my stressed out mom
Who deals with the mess that is me
Daffodils to the boy I'm with
An apology for the stress I give

Flawless white roses for my son
An early apology
For the endless mistakes I am sure to make

I know the process
Doesn’t make it easier
It starts off with shock
Then leads to red anger
I’ll bargain for peace
Till I sink to depression
And hopefully by the end
I’ll have found some acceptance
I know the process
Doesn’t make it easier
I still feel the sharp pain
Since life's been taken from her

As a grape I was in shock

As a pear I was enraged

As an apple I was embarrassed

As a grapefruit I was ashamed

As a pineapple I was depressed

As a watermelon I was a mess

But when he came out a babe, things fell into place

Away fled the shame as love took its place

Sometimes
In the Sunshine
Is where my heart lies
And I never wanna leave

But the dark climbs
Through the night sky
And I can't fight it
No I can't fight what's meant to be

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

Sometimes
It's a good day
Clouds are away
And I'm feeling like a champion

Then there's mistakes
That makes my heart shake
And I can't fight it
No I can't fight what's meant to be

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
Should I fight my own war?
Should I kneel down and pray?
You know it's hard to have faith
In a man up above
When the people you know
And the people you love
Drag you hopeless and torn
Left you crying and worn

And as a child
A small child
It was so easy to love

And as a child
A small child
It was so easy to pray
To that man up above

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

Please

At the young age of three
My brother said to me
"I wish I got hit by a car"
My thoughts wandered far

Why would a child?
Have thoughts so vile?
I didn't comprehend
That this wasn't the end.

At the age of 14
I typed on a screen
"I want to jump off and die,
I'm ready to meet my demise"

I understood the pain
My brother held in his brain
No wonder life felt drab
When I couldn't even feel sad.

And yesterday, at 11 years
My youngest brother told me crying tears
"I want to jump off something tall
I want to die, I feel so small"

I hugged him tight
Kissed his cheek
Told him life, does seem real bleak

But these thoughts,
I've had them too
And your brother
And grandmother
And my mother
It runs in our blood
To feel so alone
But together we're strong
So please don't go.

The heart beats in rhythm
To the crashing of waves

Whoosh- Crash

A monotonous beating
Of unexplained motion

Boom- Crash

This sound, motion
Describes disappointment

Whoosh- Crash

A normality of life
That breaks one's heart

Boom- Crash

Family
Taut Vines
Of Love, Trust-
Unfortunate Turns
Binding People Together

Growing a crush
Involves squishing, crunching
The heart
To hold back giant feelings

Falling in love
Is crashing face first into the pavement
Off the cliff of a mountain
Hoping someone catches the fall

Let's sit across the water
Oceans apart, eyes connected
Inspiring eachother with words

Do you too, have those
Blue eyed daydreams?
Where your mind becomes foggy
And your eyes shimmer in memory
Do you have those thoughts too?

Let's sit on the water, listening
Oceans apart, hearts connected
Inspiring others with words

Dance without thought
Along to this music, listen
To the rhythm of the chirps
And the hum of the ribbets
That waltz across the night air
From an invisible orchestra
Of nocturnal noises

This cut on my thumb
Has made my hand numb
Not unlike my mind
Which has long fled and run

Hello little bird
Singing nearby
Hello old man
Who eats berry pie

Hello to the girl
Who jumps over ropes
Hello to her friends
Who wear pretty coats

Hello black dog
Who chases the cat
Hello dog catcher
Who yells where they at

Hello to you all
I think in my head
Too shy to speak out
So I watch from my bed

To be or not to be
Within the same room
But mind wandering

You're here, you say
But never around
Always planning the next escape

I'd rather you go
Be elsewhere, not here
It breaks all our hearts
When you can't seem to care

Confusion of the senses
I smell a burning lie
Listen to the color's leak
Fall out the endless sky

A Fever likes to dally
Inside the village, Brain
Dancing with a Migraine
Singing out to Pain

A Fever will refuse to leave
Inside of Body, to stay
Bringing Chaos alongside Ache
With Misery it chooses to play

When I tell you
I miss the past
I don't mean my youth
In which running
Across fields and roads
Was as enlightening
As reading a book on magic

I'm telling you
Crying out to you
Trying to explain to you

That I miss the past
Where I felt like my mind
Was it's own special haven
Of magical escapades
Where I didn't feel so-

Sympathy
And
Empathy
To Me
Was as Confusing
As being Forced
To Spew
Fake Apologies

Oh how I miss
U
Though I know we placed
U
In a merry-go-round of emotion
Nauseous, bright emotion
That spun your mind
And killed your thoughts
In a confusing array of details
We wish you all the best

Bubbling kettle
Rising heat, Exploding steam
Drinking soulful tea

Water leave through the valleys
You wore down
Wear me down

Drown me in the water
Drown me in the sea
Loose me in the dark
Drag me to the deep

Let your water, wash over me

Water, water rise!

Water rise up and roll
Through the islands
Roll down the streets

It's short lived, boys
Short lived, boys

Find a woman and dance
Through the moons like-
Leave me the rain

Falling in love, with you
Simple and easy to do
You're my little child
Giving reason to smile
For this Valentines one-for-two

At what point am I known as a poet?
After how many stanzas and rhymes?
I've written some thousands of words
Yet my words are a way to pass time

Drizzling raindrops
Masked the mans freckles and tears
His flawed attributes

There, I've written some words
That describe both dilemma and pain
In a haiku format, no less
But from that- what have I gained?

Poem is quite the strange lad
As is Muse, his wife just as bad
They lure in the brains
Of us simple and sane
And we write till uncanny and mad

Wow, I've done it again
I've written a poem in style
You know, I think I'm a poet
Maybe I've been one a while...

Please try to be kind
With the words that you choose
You don't know others lives
Till you've walked in their shoes

People can smile
People can grin
People can lie
About feelings within

Helping brings Kindness
Kindness is Brave
Compassion brings Love
Loving is Strengh

Baby Panda
You called me
A *****-*****
When you woke
And I smiled
In response

Baby Panda
When eating
Fruity pebbles
With almond milk
You croaked like
A frog, croak
Over 20 times
And got up
To spit in the sink
Excessive saliva
In between
Each bite
I asked you why
You croak
wha?
I smiled
And say
Never mind

Baby Panda
You ran to me
Sobbing as if
The world was ending
My socks!!!
No more clean
****, I forgot
To dry them
You pace
Uncomfortable
As you're forced
To go barefoot
Feet ****
For longer
Than an hour

Baby Panda
I return to
You're stash
Of a room
And picking up
Your pajamas
I smell an
Accident
Of both sorts
Soiling your
Clothes
sorry
Red faced you enter
I smile and
Remind you
To let me know
Next time
And not to
Throw it on the
Wooden floor

Baby Panda
Socks on smooth
Shoes tied with
Quadrupled knots
You head to your
Room, radio blasting
Some radio talk
Station about comedy
Until 8:21 rolls around
And you run
Like a bullet
To the bus outside
Our house
I smile as you yell
BUS IS HERE
No matter what room
I'm in

Baby Panda
I worry for you
The second you walk
Out the door
Because you have such
Big, terrifying emotions
Yet a small filter
On your words, thoughts
Of your own body
Despite the fact
That you're turning
Into a real teen
Before the summers end

Baby Panda
I wish I could help
In ways I cannot
I can't read your mind
Though you think
I should
Know how by now
I can't make socks magically
Not hurt, or have people
Not get ******
When you randomly shout
Profanities
When your last conversation
Was regarding food
And I can't
Stop the madness that
Overtakes your body
Every time you get ill
Physically, mentally


But Baby Panda
I love you now
And always will

Unfeeling, I watched the waves rise
Over sunsets of color and light.
Grasping my cold hand
You took me to land-
Denied Neptune the right to my life.

Feeling, I looked into your face-
Sad tears looking so out of place.
I sat with you all night
Promising, not to die
No matter the demons that chase.

Listen

I know I'm not
What most would see to be sane

But you see
I don't see
How faking a love of romance and passion
And beautiful things

Can truly be so bad
If it's the only way he'll stay

Best Friend of my universe
The only person
I couldn't imagine a world without

When he laughed
And then nearly cried

"I don't love you anymore"

I saw the pools of hurt arise
I knew right then his words, all lies
And knew that this was my last

Chance

To keep him in my life
And as I'm selfishly afraid
Of being alone again
I took it

"I was afraid"
I swallow my self loathing away
"Because I love you"

The hope swells, he smiles wide
Laughing, he grabs my hands

"I knew you loved me"

Pang, I shut off my emotions
As he grasps my *******
And slobbers his lips on my own

Boom, my head beats in disgust
Goosebumps rising in panic
My every nerve ending wanting to run
I smile at him when he says

"Tell me you love me"

I feel bile rise, why do I do this?
Is flinging my clothes to the floor
As he leads me to my bed
The necessity to keep my last Friend?

****, why do I do this
Again and again?
Self destruction behavior, big surprise

Right?

But I swear I've never stooped so low
But I've never felt so alone
But I can't recall loving a man
But I've never rejected lust
But with him the touch is rough
But now I'm 3 months pregnant
But it's with a person I choose
But he thinks all this touching is normal
But I can't seem to ever say no

"I love you too"

I refuse to loose you my friend
Not ever again
No matter the cost

Warmth against my flesh
Hold me in bed

Squeezing against my body
Kiss on my head

Embrace my cold figure
Things as they should be

I couldn't live without you
I love you, my hoodie

One terrified question
Two visits with 'folks
Three trips to the movies
Four corny-*** jokes
Five rides to the mountains
Six parties all night
Seven tears over nothing
Eight reasons to fight

Nine years old when they met
Friends from the start
Ten lustrums they've remained
Telepathically heart to heart

Caffeine in the form
Of delicious Starbucks
Grande Carmel Frapp

Farewell my love!

Sushi and tuna so moist
Wrapped in seaweed
Filleted with crab

I leave you for now!

Hot tubs and Saunas
My bubbling friend
Of flavorful, steamy warmth

Oh how I shall miss you!  

Don't, the doctor states
Can't, the internet reads
Want, my brain pleads

But I refrain, all for baby

Perfection
Remind me how
To Dance on cue
Shaking my hips
Eyes on you

Perfection
Show me the pen
How it glides on skin
The ink blot poetry
A tattoo of wind

Perfection
Sing me the notes
That birds join along to
A symphony of sound
Music- pure and true

Perfection
Shine your light
Upon my soul
Return your love
Make me whole

The Tantalizing Taste of Temptation
Making its way to my Mouth
Hurting my Head, Hitting my Heart

Lucious Lips
Fingertips

Welcome; take a seat.

White-rimmed Eyes
Opaque Lies

*Would you like to eat?

I only need you
Lover, drown me through deserts
Of painful mistrust

You ever sat on a couch or a chair
In a room you've been in before
Maybe even your very own house
Surrounded by laughter and music
While the aroma of joy and food fills the air
People talk, or you do some talking
And nothing is wrong in the world.

You ever been in this moment
But just want to disappear
Because you're suffocating in yourself
And why should you deserve fresh air to breathe
When plenty of Angels in this world
Deserve so much more than your demonic self?

So smile
And laugh
And eat
And dance
And talk
And put up with your happy life
Because you're a fücking monster for wanting more.

It's a tragedy

You gaze into green eyes
Upon curves and stretch marks,
Onto a battlefield of scars,

Weilding two calloused hands,
A pair of average ears
All topped off with a crooked smile

A person you've liked, loved
Stares back from the blunt glass mirror
That person, you, is me.  


It's a tragedy