I hope it burns,
But first I hope it makes me forget.
How life swam through my veins an endless death.
I hope it's painless,
falling from dancing,
but I hope I'll feel the last bit of music on me,
glancing.
If the heart ever stops from beating,
don't let the sadness make you start screaming.
Hug me keep on dancing, keep on pouring drinks,
never let anyone stop from having other swings.

Raise a glass and drink up til the bottle is done;
Here's to addictions unconquered
Here's to suicides attached to names not known well enough to grieve for
Here's to the burden one passes onto another when one gets too comfortable
Here's to those who cared when no one else did
Here's to those adolescent walks in the dark chasing shadows
Here's to us speaking til we fell asleep mid sentences
Here's to the lovers who kicked us out the house then kicked us in the head for leaving
Here's to walking in circles with each step painless for the first time in forever & staring out into nothing astounded
Here's to smoking for the first time in months and thinking back to one night years before and the self-inflicted concussions that followed
Here's to the faces we can't look at anymore without our chests caving inward & hating ourselves
Here's to the fascia tissue unzipped & exposed and cringed at & regretted & better left forgotten the next morning
Here's to our sorries telepathically sent & unsent
Here's to forgiveness reached in silence
Here's to time healing nothing but changing everything
Here's to first kisses and final goodbyes
Here's to when she wore his dress for the first time and he her boots
Every vice has it's versa and every versa it's vice, right? right. so
Here's to holding hands with another for another first with heart pounding and surrounding eyes staring or going out of their way not to stare the closer they'd get
Here's to saying **** everyone & everything else when you know beyond a doubt what's right is right
Here's to ugly faces made pretty up-close and seeing pretty faces turn ugly
Here's to spending those last pennies on the first pack of cigarettes in years and looking into foodbanks & catshelters incase nothing got better
Here's to laughing hysterically after getting told you were cheated on, knowing you won't be the paranoid ******* for breaking up again and the hangover-like realisation two days later when the worthlessness settled in
Here's to those lonely walks home covered in blood & punching busstops & ******* in the middle of the street undisturbed by a single soul in-passing
Here's to that hour writhing in a floored mattress screaming the same name over & over again to no answer
Here's to things not working out as planned and it being upto you for that to be for a reason,
Here's to being comatosed & frostbit in pisssoaked jeans as crying family waited for the ambulance to arrive
(surely, I'm not the only one who was supposed to die at thirteen but didn't?)
Here's to the writers who changed how we wrote, the gentle man obsessed with mud turnt muck & thunderstorms & ******* and the pretty French boy and the boundless reclusive femcel before her time
Here's to the men & women we could never become
Here's to love stated but no longer felt, and vice versa and vice versa.

And
Here's to this, the final top up of the night! -too drunk or too tired? either or- and what a night it's been, considering the weight of all those nights before;

Here's to all those loves that never worked out & all those suicidal nights alone trembling with fear of the following day & the next, all leading to you and I sharing this wonderful day together.
Honestly? I wouldn't trade it for the world

no mercy?
no mercy?
how can you say that when we have been through everything that you see
and we still chose to stay?
how can you say i have no mercy when i only stick around from the goodness of my heart?
how can you say that i have no mercy when all i do is think and do for you
all i want is to make you happy
how can you forget that i am constantly being mowed down?
no fvcking mercy?

they receive, interpet, discard, rehydrate, delegate, redistribute,
brook no, smile stupidly at stupidity, opinionate but never lecture,
never hector, rarely curse unless it is essential, tell good jokes, abhor verbosity, act on instinct, admit error when instinct stinks, sharpen
their teeth, their tongue, and their verbal reciprocity skills

in case,

life becomes interminable intermittently intolerable when other creatures impose, flagellate, pontificate, render the impossible as quite likely, reveal things I wish I never heard, detail the details of the inexplicably intricate uninteresting with prodigious force, and an unlimited absence of periods, commas, or breaths taken,

and escape
impossible for some meetings require good manners, first dates the remote but not trivial possibility that a false start has or can occur,
(see The Pleated Skirt poem) and the incidence of really good books in very poorly designed book covers…ditto the men variety of same!

I am a ****
And a *****
And all of those things
That I didn't want to be

I hope you're happy

You made me this way
Then made me ashamed of it
Someday I'll get through that

Don’t call me pretty.

I am not a delicate
Rose to be plucked
At your fleeting desire.

𝘕𝘰.

I am
Visceral
Venomous
Vibrant.

I am not a willow
Bending in the time
Of your gusts.
A pastel shade
Of pink, meant to be
Seen, but not noticed.

𝘕𝘰.

Don’t you realize?

𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦.

You say you long for us but the thought itself drives you sick like the one of you yourself that
Tends to get at you most days nowadays
you want to help yourself first and foremost but you don't know how to

Talkin' bout public affection
I don't even wanna give you any behind closed doors
You think you make my life better and for that I think you're out of your mind

He met me half way and we went back to his, he wanted to **** but I just wanted to use his drugs then leave
I could use an extra enemy.

I know you'd like me to stay inside when not with you and keep my head in the same place it was when I awoke and for that I think you're out of your mind

I don't grieve when anyone walks out the door anymore and I find it laughable that I ever did or I find it funny you think you have any power at all

When I already let you go the second time we started talking; I like to be the only one who's behind me being out of my mind

I'm tired of holding out for nothing,
I'm a cat stuck inside sniffing the air from a cracked atop window and seeing his brother roam lost and wounded crying to be let inside but his owner is no longer apart of the living.
I'm a goner-to-be still breathing I cannot complain.

I do not like you
I do not like you
I do not like you
I do not like you.

But I am too afraid
to disclose this
to a face only seen
through a screen;
too many times
in my crime podcast
has a gracious disclaimer
turned oscillating lungs
into a nameless victim.

No,
I do not wish
to become
just another episode.

So for now,
sure,
I like you,
I guess I’m just
“bad at responding.”

Mumble Rappers be on something like:
"gotta bad *****...she ain't be walking righ°..."

Double-dipping,
No-stopping
Frames-dropping,
No-clipping,

wutta glitchy sight ..

I've been sitting super stealthy cypher.
I've been running with my do-or-die fir.

[Careful]

I would die for what
What you would eye for
Cloudy with the red eye
Insight, eyesore

I swore, pops, that I'd be different
Spec ops man, Mine's been misting

Foggy froggy frothing
when I spit distance

3eyes shifting
2Split  da difference

  Any1 asking Meh:
How have I been getting....?

Guru Minds have been sitting
squarely as a cube in cypher

Make mah breathes for human
CubanS matter as I decypher :

Life is living truth
or daring to choose to live
  or die for ...

Ai just a silly Scyth0r snipping sidebar sowings
  stow no baggage. That's what I'd be towing.

Rats staining, stinging
pocked and potent.

Out  of the Cabbage patch
that I've been growing

01011011 01111101 01111011 00101110 00101110 00101110 00101110 01010000 01110010 01100001 01100011 01110100 01101001 01100011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00101100 00001010 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100010 01101111 00100000 01100100 01100101 01101110 00101110 00101110 00101110 01111101 01111011 01011101

Sorry to be blunt, man
.... it's a sour twist,
Undid the trap mode
went too lavish

>> the-Gentle-Ghost-o'-ghetto
hopes at most to let go,
Building out hell bricks
Pave- too -close -to -level<<

it's all in the mental,
in the same lane stack

Shake a Lil when treble trains track,
Shake, shake when the train track,

shake shake, shake when it trains
shake when the trains track.

I swear, it's not a bad tick.
Just bring the brains back.

It's not a bad tick. Just get the brains back
it's not a bad tick. The brains back~

just bring the brains back
bring the brains back

Bear with me. >>Music turned up.
Are the windows cracked?<<

..............Who should have brought the show...vel? And the WAXWHALESTACK....................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.............................................................

What is my operative word?
Go?
Stop?
Never, is it Yes.
Always it is No!
Sometimes in a gesture,
Occasionally in a gait;
If I were blind
And read by braille,
My fingers might feel Wait.
And we've met some
Who don't have
An Operative at all.