It feels like I knew you and everything you are
Before I even met you.
I feel so comfortable when I'm with you.
Like every moment I spend with you
Is more than just a moment.
It's all I ever wanted
And flawless and mine
You are really so much to me and
I don’t think that anyone could get how
You make me feel as if I am
Better than I am.
But nothing lasts forever and
I know this better than anyone.
With my tattered heart's edges
And my abandonment issues.
I know that despite your promises
You will leave.
And I can't stand the thought of being without you.
Not being able to hold your hand,
To hear you tell me you love me,
To get those texts from you
That make me lose my mind.
And make me feel sane all at once,
It's my nightmare.
I know that despite what you feel
Right now, one day you'll see
The beasts in me,
And you will leave.
I love you.
I love you so much,
More than anything in the world.
But nothing lasts forever
And you will leave
But for now,
I'll just put you inside of my chest
And hold you in my arms,
Because at least one of those places,
You can't leave.
accidents happen due to circumstance,
so in this fashion i'd like to believe that we never met
(that i am not the one you talk to at night when your thoughts are storms)
only because of chance,
that it just so happened that our lifelines did not align
in addition to the worlds of distance between us.
but at the same time,
allow me to leave a little space for the thought that in fact, we could have met
and that by chance, we could still meet one day
you undo me.
no edge left untouched
no string left unpulled-
you undo me.
but underneath these tattered edges
and this unloved spine,
and inside of my burning ember eyes
and blood/love drenched heart,
is something that loves
something that's loved.
you undo me.
i don't want to rush this
because even without the
butterflies in my stomach flying
into your lips
you undo me.
god, you undo me.
i've got a weak heart with a strong heartbeat
and it's struggling to remember the thrills of affection
with out the pain of shaking, and tears and wanting
to say sorry when i did nothing wrong. i put
too much pressure on myself
and no one understands how much i love you.
it's like i'm choking on memories of boys
who aren't you and girls who don't actually want
it's like the world is always telling me i can't
it's like everyone especially myself knows
i can't do this shit.
i going to bed, love.
please be there when my eyes flicker open.
and maybe our time in the light will come.
Darkness and Light,
truth and lies, escape betrayed
the sun and moon,
life and death, you can't evade.
Viridescent curtains cast a revolt and
sunlight disappears behind closed doors,
feeble reality inside a mended mind.
On my own with unquenched motivation
as I lay here, ecumenical eye
spins the room.
To forget, but eventually remember. Now,
3 AM in a soundless sleep I float through the astral plane
with patchwork creed ghosted over my arms;
a reminder that these actions will repeat.
Stuck in a Loop these
obstacles at work, watching
wicked storms of acid rain and
clouds of murk.
This rain is
burning away insecurities.
healing wounds and
my organs in a snapshot
i might rip my lungs out because you’ve become my every
breath, and i can hardly deal with ache in my chest. is it love?
everyone can tell that i am different. everyone can tell that i’m
glowing and maybe it’s because of you, maybe it’s because the
two of us make something like starlight. you are the very
creation of every single constellation, you are my inspiration,
my oxygen, the very consolidation of truth.
you rip my heart out and bring it back moments later. it’s laced
with fairie lights and twinkles, and somehow it’s still whole.
you are the only person that has not torn it apart.
god, babe. no one i’ve met has made me want to sing the way
you make me want to sing. i’m resting my head against your
chest as we dance to our favourite mixtape. slow and sweet,
like maple syrup. it’s been almost three weeks and i know
exactly what this means. the butterflies in my stomach turn into
fireflies and they love you.
and now you’re thinking,
baby, you’re golden,
baby, i’m holding
on to you.
baby you’re golden,
baby i’m holding
baby, you’re golden
baby, you are,