Brown eyes that sparkle
became hollow at my presence
she floats pass by me
letting the silence
swallow my existence

Swollen heart
A river of tears
I've questioned the past
doubted the future
and pleaded death have mercy
cease my breath

Before the hate
a mother has for a daughter
overtake what remains
in this empty space
deep in me where I retreat... now
I've come to despise
my own reflection
seeing the woman who loved me once
a love that costs
nevertheless, graced my birth

So forth
the road seducing my feet
fragments of bad choices
where I may have tempered
a new shape
new form
a disfigured shadow...
stripping off the face
that once was but no longer mine
that reminds...
and precisely belongs
to the woman
who loved me once

I find writing about thoughts, feelings...  a great release. I miss my mom but weeping about it won't mend us back together. If it is to be, then it will be yeah?

Thanks for the support fellow poets
All Rights Reserved

As natural as you
is how I want to be,
moving before
formalised thought
into the you
of yourself
without thinking;
as easy
as a season.

#love   #life   #mom   #season   #mum  
Feb 8

It's 3am
And I want you to know
that I am thinking about your lips on mine
and the way that you show me how to trust again,
All in good time.
Thinking of how you leave a trail of fire on my skin
When you trace a line with a finger, or even breathe
On my neck; lights dimmed
Hearts shine.

From the outside looking in
This love is scandalous
It has been since the beginning.
Remember the time your girlfriend got me high?
I was expecting a girls night in
Maybe some dancing, maybe some wine
But no, she picks me up,
pill in hand, gives me a luscious kiss and says
"wait until you meet him"
(See she had been chasing me for quite some time
And I was of an age, thinking maybe I'll give this a try)

Now, I was no longer cognizant of tick-tock time
Perhaps an hour or more had gone by
She had me dressed as a fairy princess
She was dressed to the nines
Then you walked in.
I gave an audible sigh,
I couldn't believe my luck!
So handsome, piercing blue eyes..
How did I end up here?
To sleep with this girl, and this guy?
But this is not the moment to be asking 'why?'

Pretty soon we were all high... As a kite
She is a swinger and she likes to bite
(I had a mark on my ass a month after that night)
We all got naked to Howl at the full moon,
I didn't know what to expect
But I knew it would happen soon.
Making love in a euphoric glow
Feeling connected, in tune.
It was my first time so we went slow,
But in the end we just wanted to spoon.

We all lay there in a bubble of ecstasy
Counting my lucky stars to have these two next to me
And we knew it was fast, but the morning after
The spell was still cast; kitchen filled with laughter!
And perhaps I'm just daft or..
Naive, or too young..
But I accepted the invitation to move in.
And I sung praises in celebration
Of living among such loving openness
It was not an imitation
We were happy... For a while
Until she set this rule:
No sex without her.
Well, she had a different style
And we played her for a fool
Because we couldn't share
This deep, soulful jewel with her.

I still miss our nights spent naked in front of the fire,
But I had to set my sights on a new object of desire.
Should I leave now or later
To avoid any fights,
To avoid being a liar?

Alas, this threeway was not meant to last,
But I lost a third and I gained a half.
Because no matter where or who
We happened to be with from then on,
Our hearts are now glued together,
Like some myth from ancient times long gone.

More than two years has gone by since those days,
I've faced so many fears to find my way out of the maze
Of confusion, of woes that was my short marriage,
And you know how it goes "then came a baby in a baby carriage".
Yet still you were there while my belly grew,
I am so grateful to have spent some of that time with you.

My soul has been laid bare,
I've been made anew,
Acquired a new layer,
Like now I'm a new mom and I talk about poo!
I haven't a moment to spare
Between diapers, dishes, chores, bathing, cooking, studying.. laundry too:
Single mom style, a beauty so fair!
And yet you still look at me and tell me true,
That you love me even with sweat-plastered hair,
Dishevelled, and missing a shoe.

Well, that's how I feel most days
So just call me a hot mess,
But the heat from your gaze
Still makes me want to undress.

Exams are full of Botheration
Dad asking Explanation
Mom's high Expectation
So let's make Resolution
Quit Education
And Start Cultivation

Jai Jawan Jai Kisan

#mom   #dad   #education   #exam   #cultivation  

Tears rolling down my face,
Her screaming in my face,
Telling me I am the disappointment,
I am the one no one will love,
I am the one that can't do anything right.

Guess what.
You. You raised me.
You raised this horrible person.
You raised this whore.
You raised this bitch.

I am sorry I'm not good enough
I am sorry I am the person I am today.
I am sorry for being your terrible daughter.
I am sorry for being the selfish one.
I am sorry for being here. In your life.

Thanks mom. For making sure I know what I really am.

I always thought of her as a house.
Shelter from any danger;
Home for the weary traveler;
Warmth for those,
Who've been lost or cold for too long.

Her arms,
Like the walls of a house,
Keep me safe,
Sheltered and hidden
From eyes like stars.

Her words,
Like windows of a house
Make me see the world,
As if it is my own backyard.

Her smile,
Like a worn and patched roof
On a Victorian house,
Shields me from the worries of the world
That fall like cold rain.

She is strong.
Like that Victorian house
That has stood proudly
Through decades of wind and rain.

Like the walls
Of the age-old structure,
She has seen
And she has heard
Many things that give her wisdom.

Through generations,
She holds her family together,
She has rooms enough
For every person.

She is elegance.
And she is grace.
And she is that Glorious House.
And I will never,
Allow her to be knocked down.

#love   #home   #mom   #woman   #girlfriend   #strong   #house   #inspire   #wife   #willed  

Mama said I was a miracle from the Lord above,
Conceived from a soft embrace, gentleness, and love.
Tied between two intact heartstrings,
I was their perfect little epitome of everything.
There I was, held together at the wishing well,
Brought down from heaven, but born in hell
Unto the stranger things in life that we look back on with strife
Painting a pretty portrait of treachery, capturing the misery
And surrounded by the impurest mysteries,
This is I, Mommy’s miracle and Daddy’s distaste,
A spiral down the wrong path and pathetic human waste,
My life left in a shattered mess
Since this “miracle” was labeled a child of darkness.

#hell   #depression   #mom   #darkness   #heaven   #devil   #inspired   #religious   #poe   #aspects  

I will protect you, my child
no harm shall come
So long as I have life in me
I will protect you from harm

I will protect you, my child
no harm shall come
I have life in me
I will give all to keep you safe

I will protect you, my child
Though my body is tired
I am not done
Keeping you safe and sound

I will protect you, my child
If you’ll help me
My voice is strong
and my reason is still here

I will protect you, my child
Even though I am so tired
My will remains
and I will myself on

I will protect you, my child
From beyond here
I have given all
but have no fear
and weep not
for I watch on

#death   #mom   #children   #parents  

i used to slam her behind her back
i used to think it all so unjust
the things she'd say, make me do
simply cruel

time+curiosity+willingness+regret= wisdom

im so sorry for everything ive said before
things you should know
but ill never tell you
i think i understand now
with the help of E and M
how she acts
the awful things she says

theyve helped me see who i used to be
but i think/hope ive changed

#mom   #wisdom  
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