Jenna Lucht
Jenna Lucht
17 hours ago

I remember snowy mornings
As a kid before school.
You left before me to catch the bus,
And I remember staring
At your footprints in the melting walkway.
I used to step in the same spots,
Mimicking the trek you just made;
Even though my legs were shorter
And I stretched them what seemed like a mile.  
I remember how close
That made me feel to you.

I remember this one time,
This one snippet of a moment,
When we were in our old basement
And you were standing on that old couch,
Your legs bent in a wide second position.
You were laughing, your face framed in silver wire.
Your hair was more red then, and your face more freckled.
You were lanky and tall;
To me you were a giant.
I don't remember what day it was
Or what we were doing,
But I remember you wore a grey shirt
And smiled wide like an idiot,
Standing on that old, second hand couch-
For whatever reason that's now lost in time.
I think until the day I die,
I will always see that image of you
When your name crosses my mind.

I remember this one time,
It was sometime in the Summer
When I boasted to all the kids in the park about you.
Bragging on and on; endlessly
About how my brother was going to be an army man,
And that if I jumped off the edge of the jungle gym
You would be there to catch me.
You stood there the entire time while I ran my mouth,
Trying to pluck up the courage to jump.
After what must have seemed like ages,
I leapt and you caught me.
I don't even know why
But I remember that so clearly.

I remember the day you came home.
That entire year seemed like a blur,
But the day you came home
Was like a kaleidoscope of color and taste
Returning to my previously dulled senses.
The day you left was grey and blurry-
If I think about it long enough
I can feel the same strangling lump in my throat.
When you came back,
My heart was pounding out of my chest
I though it was going to leave a bruise.
My eyes darting in every direction,
My breathing quick and shallow
It felt like a dream I was afraid to wake up from.
I remember finally spotting you walking off the bus,
And then all of a sudden catapulting myself onto you.
Your uniform scratched me
It left a long scratch for weeks, but I didn't care.
I could finally breath and smile
Without holding back a pained expression
Every time someone asked me how I was-
I must have been holding my breath for months.
If you as a child is how I will see you forever,
Then hugging you in that moment
Will be how I remember feeling pure joy,
For the rest of my life.

I remember so many things
About how it all used to be.
How you let me sleep in your bed
When I was having a bad dream.
How Mom would send us to our rooms,
But we'd only put our toes inside
And stretch out in the hallway,
Just to talk to each other.
How you would wake me up
On Saturday mornings to watch cartoons
On that big yellow and brown blanket you loved.
Those are my favorite memories of you,
They're simple- and admittedly mundane-
That's why I love them so.
When I think of how things are now
I see those moments in my heart.
And for a bittersweet moment,
I remember we used to share so much more than DNA.

Andrew Kelly
Andrew Kelly
1 day ago

Nothing says adolescence
More than underage drinking.
Veiled by chitters of nocturnal critters,
Surrounded by a maze of maple trees.

There is nothing more pure
Than youthful rebellion.
Newfound free will questioning rules and religion,
Causes the creation of confused hellions.

Faint echoes of laughter and Kid Cudi,
Bring comrades ever closer,
Until they are friends no longer.
They become family.

I will love my friends until the day I die
Z Trista Davis
Z Trista Davis
2 days ago

My childhood was sunshine,
summer days,
pool,
book,
trees,
It was yellow dandelion, carpet lawn
and endless blue and green
as far as I could see
standing on my tiptoes
on a swing in the backyard
jumping down onto smooth soft summer grass
in the flat calm ivy-colored sea

It was stars on the night sky
like stars on my ceiling,
hair floating up around me with my dreams,
pulling me out the open window
into air,
into indigo,
into midnight blue, nail-polish painted sky
on the sweet-smelling cedar easel,
in the dark room,
where I come sometimes
to touch the beginning with butterfly-soft fingers

My childhood was hide and seek,
shut up in closets,
smiling,
laughing,
giggling,
yelling tag you’re it,
as it touched board game movers
and pushed them
one
two
three
around boards colored like rainbows
that I rode around the world
and into the universe

Now my childhood is two yellow foam blocks
asking me,
“Why?”
“Where?”
but I don’t know why it’s gone
or where it’s gone to,
all I know is that I’m not ready,
but here I come

Lars Kadel
Lars Kadel
2 days ago

You are standing
on a great, grassy
field as far as your eyes
can see. The ground
is firm, there is a peaceful
wind in the air
gently rustling your hair.
This is not what you expected.
You had anticipated
explosions, yelling,
a thud on the wall
that sounds like someone's
skull is being hit by
the house phone!
But no,
the field is
the serene place,
the confinement
that is childhood.
It is an illusion.
It never existed.

INNOCENCE

Hush little baby don't say a word,
We're just playing a game
Where you can't be heard.

Hush little baby don't you cry,
Daddy's just going on a trip
It's not goodbye.

EXPERIENCE

Hush, I'm a big girl, I can't say a word
Pretending he didn't touch me
Is what they prefer.

Hush, I'm a big girl, I can't cry
Daddy's not coming back
And my happiness
I can't deny.

A baby's cheeks, creamy and soft,
      Would tempt the angel who seeks
To touch a heaven 'neath her loft—
         A baby's cheeks.

A plumpness puffs the chubby peaks
      Where roses bloom as oft
As streak their slopes with runny creeks.

Kissing the cheeks with peach-fuzz puffed
      That near speech with the weeks
Will send the spirit's soar aloft
         A baby's cheeks.

* * *

Étude Réaliste by Algernon Charles Swinburne 1837-1909

I.
A baby's feet, like sea-shells pink,
      Might tempt, should heaven see meet,
An angel's lips to kiss, we think,
         A baby's feet.

Like rose-hued sea-flowers toward the heat
      They stretch and spread and wink
Their ten soft buds that part and meet.

No flower-bells that expand and shrink
      Gleam half so heavenly sweet
As shine on life's untrodden brink
         A Baby's feet.

II.
A baby's hands, like rosebuds furled
      Whence yet no leaf expands,
Ope if you touch, though close upcurled,
         A baby's hands.

Then, fast as warriors grip their brands
      When battle's bolt is hurled,
They close, clenched hard like tightening bands.

No rosebuds yet by dawn impearled
      Match, even in loveliest lands,
The sweetest flowers in all the world—
         A baby's hands.

III.
A baby's eyes, ere speech begin,
      Ere lips learn words or sighs,
Bless all things bright enough to win
         A baby's eyes.

Love, while the sweet thing laughs and lies,
      And sleep flows out and in,
Sees perfect in them Paradise.

Their glance might cast out pain and sin,
      Their speech make dumb the wise,
By mute glad godhead felt within
         A baby's eyes.

An important recent discovery.
kenny
kenny
7 days ago

we used to jump over fences
until one of us inevitably got hurt
it was always me
i’ve always been good at losing my footing
my main talent has always been forgetting

you used to punch my arm
and we would hide in the storm cellar
we spent summers building roofs
and digging up more space

now it’s a forgotten monument
in a backyard with no fence
a staple of my childhood
i haven’t been inside of since elementary school.

i didn’t swing the hammer when i should have
you yelled at me with more vigor than i liked
your behavior has always been innate
you shoved more than you pushed

but i guess i compartmentalized until it made sense.
i forgot until i couldn’t.

Alec Boardman
Alec Boardman
7 days ago

(November 2016)


It’s okay to cry
Don’t let your mother's poisonous words sting like bug bites
She’s only upset with herself.

It’s okay to scream
Don’t let anyone tell you your excitement annoying
They’re only jealous they don’t have the freedom to express themselves like you.

It’s okay to dream
Don’t let your teacher’s laughter bruise your heart
She only wishes she had your imagination.

It’s okay to be the odd one out
Don’t let the exclusion isolate your soul
It isn’t your fault that you aren’t like them

It’s okay to ask why
Don’t let the exasperated sighs stop you from seeking answers
You can’t be Sherlock until you get to the bottom, after all

It’s okay to forget
Don’t let his vile voice find its way into your rib cage
He was the one who chose to leave

It’s okay to live
Don’t let your learned helplessness persist
You are so young and you have so much to strive for.

So go after it.

Molly
Molly
7 days ago

I placed six stamps upon my brow
(the most that three dollars could buy),
addressed my arms in finger paint
(for crayon wouldn't comply),
and donned a layer of bubble wrap
(perchance that I might fall),
but alas, my Love,
'twas all for naught
(the mailbox is much too small).

There's a lot more to the world
Than what meets the eye
Physical intimacy laced with
Eradicating emotion
There's no time in the universe
In which peace can be acquired
The day the earth stands still
Is the day we know what comes next
In a memory flashing by your mind
Just sputtering through the motions
But suddenly you're caught in derealization
And you can hear her voice again
Clear as wedding bells
A young girl reading sermons
To a man passed out drunk, and the woman who made him that way
I was just 4 when I first tasted beer
And I vomited all over myself
I was just 8 when I first tasted liquor
And I don't remember much else
Chicken wings with candles
And the songs my mother used to sing to me
The way she'd crawl in bed with me
In times of drunken solitude
Ungrateful cunt of a daughter
Who should've been aborted,
Well I tried, mama, I tried
Now that you're gone and you are nothing more than ashen memories
I look at you in your black box prison
With your name pasted to the front
And I tell you all the ways I have already died
I tell you all the ways I don't feel alive.
The way you screamed for help at the top of the stairs
And he's shoving he's pushing and you can't run
And I'm still here
And I'm still here fighting him away
He says he can't sleep in beds without you anymore
And coming home from 2nd grade
Police badges light up the front porch
And they're shoving you they're pushing and you can't run
And you're in handcuffs
And his arm is bleeding
the young man told me I was not alone
And falling apart on your floor
At a ripe 5 years old
And I'm crying I'm sobbing and you don't care
And I scream
And you don't love me anymore
The piano goes quiet
And after grandpa died
she took all his medicine
Muscle relaxers and pain killers and the daily booze
And anger
And she screamed at the walls she called god
For taking her children away
It was her all along
I do not hold grudges
But it took you dying for me to hold that promise
It took you dying for forgiveness
The family shuns me like how they did you
Black sheep we are
Your ashes lay on the table beside my bed
With fake vanilla candles that light up all kinds of colors
And I tell you all the ways I have already died
I tell you all the ways that I do not feel alive.

 
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