If I state I’m going to do something
then don’t, as often happens,
then I’ve planted a ***** seed
that’ll grow into a choking vine,
not free, or wise

So dark January resolutions
might help Calvinists,
or masochists, or both,
but for the rest of us
comfort in our skins is better

I have no preach for you
to do this: just listen

Your own heart cries and sings
all day, every day
and you will beat yourself
far harder, over cheese and *****,
than anyone who loves you would

So go inward a while and think,
and even if your conclusions
don’t match the zeitgeist,
love you, as we do

First footing towards
what could be bridge or precipice,
hard to tell in the usual mists
of another spin round the sun

The groundhog sting
has left us wary of what’s to come:
with an alphabet begun
how many masks need to be worn
before omega calls?

But the sun is shining
and it’s abnormally warm,
so that’s good,
isn’t it?

Trickling words
Drip drop
Flickering words
Burn hot
Whispering words
Never forgot

I liked that night, we were flying
As the black cloaked your stars, you had your eyes closed
Sleep-deprived and half dead I thought of loving you
It seemed foolish

On the ground, it felt dizzy
like you spun me around
Friendly smiles were small
Everything was so dead I didn’t think of you

I don’t know the day where I thought of it as more
It wasn’t a day but a memory, a rememory
The buttons were pushed before I was ready

Anxiously I worked and worked and acted like your honey didn’t matter to me
It didn’t, I convince myself even now
But the moment came in capitals
You thought I was unattainable

The breaks were pressed by those closest
Of course they were, it’s what they’re there for
I waited and waited and waited and I got tiny answers

I got fragments, particles, portions
I never got it all
I still don’t have it all
Is this you
Is this my body?
Worse, is it my mind

Tell me now, if I ask too much
Tell me now, if communication won’t be our thing
Tell me now If we won’t be our own thing
But just tell me
Tell me anything
Because I need to be told

I was in the woods
The trees were dying
My world was crashing
All the route was leading to places
And i was still found homeless
It was like flying while drowning
Nothing to hold on to
But keep struggling to see through
This is too messy
I try to be ready
Instead i become unsteady
All of a sudden i am cutting trees
Separating the branches
Leaving the roots
Trying to pull myself out of the crowd
A crowd of plants feeding me with dead leaves
Decaying my body
And still there is nobody
I am starting to wonder if there is really someone
Or am i the only one
In the woods
A forest full of steady waving tree bodies
Careless, staring.... Rooted in to unknown
Will i find a home
Or should i be forever searching
Escaping something that maybe everything
And nothing have sense

Don't ask me why I conjured someplace in Chicago, I think by Gene and Judes.



(sonnet #MMMMMCMLXIX)


Was't thickets naked trees within the pale
Eye of November guarded with a sense
Of dreary naught, their skeletons black thence
And with such bony fingers grasping frail
Mists' ghostly shadows winds' nigh cruel exhale
Passed through in eerie whispers, that suspense
Culls from auld memries to rehearse from hence,
Which rise before me, haunting which detail?
The question of what's real.  Shake me as twere,
And say I've built cloud castles none shall do
Aught justice to, and bid me look now fer
Brave minutes at what's allus in my view.
Tell me our games were fun but won't endure.
Then take my hand and teach me to love you.

14Oct16c