C F Tinney
C F Tinney
11 hours ago

I found a pair of shoes while walking
across a bridge like I often do
Neatly placed below the rail
as if they expected you
but you shall not return

I found them on my stroll to town
which I take on Sunday am
Neatly placed there
as though you’d come again
but you shall see them no more

I dare not disturb them
These shoes which do not know
that I gazed upon your presence
In broken disregard in waterway below
for you shall see them no more

Instead I walked onward
with errands far too many
And attempted not think of how your shoes
reminded me of me
and my desire to join you there

and be seen no more

Poem speaks for itself
The Revolutionist
The Revolutionist
11 hours ago

I looked into her eyes as I slit her throat, they screamed, “Why?” I didn’t mean to kill her, I watched as her body went limp, crashing onto the cold, marble floor, I had to hide the body but where? I found myself grabbing a shovel and hiding it in the backyard, I had to wash the blood off my body, I soaked the sheets in bleach and burned all the furniture, there was nothing left but ashes and dust, I knew her family would start wondering where would she be, I was nervous, frightened at the fact that they would soon learn the truth, her father was a strict disciplinarian with a catholic background, he preached purity yet practiced adultery, sometimes his lips would kiss the heads of whiskey coated bottles.

During his drunken stupors, his fingers would slip between the cracks and crevices of his daughter’s white skirt, his drunken stupors soon turned to violent outburst, his large, gaping hands grasping the soft, tender flesh of her mother’s throat, she was a quiet woman, she would sit in her recliner and sip on her ruby red wine, her cigarette ashes would be scattered across the floor, her eyes would slip into a stupor, she would sneak her lover's home and fornicate in the master bedroom, their violent lovemaking would shake the walls, rattle the cabinets and keep the neighbors awake, the whole neighborhood knew of their infidelities yet said nothing, especially her daughter, who would watch their father and mother take home various strangers for their twisted orgies, then she met me, I would listen to her, she spoke as the whole room went silent, she would speak about her dreams and fears, I would become her shoulder to cry on, I remember one day, as my fingers would fiddle through her soft, black hair, her eyes, dull and dim, would lay their hints of a tortured life, they were brown, a dark brown, her eyes slowly lost their luster, she would stare at me and the world with such contempt, I knew, I knew that she only wanted love.

I watched her as she slept, her fragile hands, gripping tightly on a crucifix and a bible, she would twist and turn out of frustration and guilt, in her mind, she wanted only to repent. I found her one day with her head slumped over the toilet, the pill bottles and heroin needles sat right to the pool of vomit that flooded the bathroom floors, her eyes were bloodshot, her arms were bruised, battered, and marked, I took her to the hospital, I still wonder, how did she survive? When we returned home, I looked at her, her body would shake and she break out in hot flashes and cold sweats, she couldn’t handle the pain, I could tell, she would look at me like sick puppy wishing to be put out of its misery, she grabbed my hand and gave me the razor, she pleaded and prayed, as I paced the room, I contemplated the thoughts of assisted suicide, as I watched her, she look into my eyes and whispered “Please…” I took the razor, with my hands gently caressing her hair, my hands, the blade, dance across her throat, I saw the blood, the luster in her eyes had returned as she slipped into the afterlife, I knew in death, that she thanked me, I saw the pain, I saw the relief.

15 hours ago

Infinite reasons I have

To forever rest my head
Upon a white pillowcase
That lays untouched within
A ghastly black box
Wearing my name

A single reason I have

To forever live until the end
Upon the surface of this earth
Encased in creatures of all types
That reason for living, surviving
Is simply a single word:

not feeling suicidal, just contemplating suicide. promise they are different things.

QUESTION: who else has had periods of time in which literally everything you see turns into a weapon for suicide?
#suicide   #fear   #death   #dead   #black   #emotions   #idk   #weirdo  
Gracie Harlow
Gracie Harlow
15 hours ago

Sometimes I can't help but wonder
if it's worse to have a skeleton in your closet
or an urn full of ashes

These bones outlasted Halloween
My everyday is October
My ghosts follow me around the world

You may rave about spring cleaning
but some doors are best left unopened
These secrets have a stench

I've heard all the horror stories
All those bones hanging
The silence could wake the dead

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever grow up
and stop being afraid of the dark

Alize Michelet
22 hours ago

I am Okay - A Slam Poem

I am okay.
Three simple words, such hypocrite words.
How are you?
You ask me, not even caring
not even knowing about who I am
what I am, how I feel.
How could you know?
I don’t blame you.
I don’t blame my eyes that can’t meet yours,
staring at the floor because I can’t lie to others
as much as I can lie to myself.

I am okay.
I answer, forcing a shaking little smile on a white crumbling face,
pinching my cheeks to make them look red
because red means life and life means joy.
I am okay.
I could be, but I’m not.

How could you know? Inside I’m
collapsing aching bending
withering, a flower in the winter
too tired to try to keep alive, fading
slowly falling onto the dry cold land.
But that you can’t see.
I am a knight, with a shining silver
fake smile on a pale perfect face and
my lies as a sword protecting me from words.

I am okay. But how could you know?
How could you not see?
My body is a facade that looks perfect to the eyes
but when you put a little pressure
with your trembling tempting hand,
cracks open, wounds show, black
dark blood runs cold out of the rifts
But you don’t even notice it because
who would pay attention to black blood
on a black floor, uniforming and blending,
it’s invisible unnoticeable
I don’t blame you.

Because after all I answered you,
with timid voice
and quiet eyes:
I am okay.

#love   #suicide   #sad   #depression   #lonely   #sadness   #not   #okay   #unrequited   #loneliness  
Cup Noodles
Cup Noodles
23 hours ago

It feels like suicide
i'm with you

and that's


#suicide   #pain   #time   #thoughts   #you   #me   #us   #ok   #moments   #quit  
1 day ago

hello hello hello again
you made me cry again
i said i wouldn’t spill tears over you
i said i was sicking of
singing tragedy
i purged you
i burned you
i ran fro you
i ran into myself
burning burning burning alive
stop being so casual
this is not a casual conversation
stop breaking my heart
you fuck me up
and not in a way I’d like
lets jump off cliffs together
lets become star crossed lovers
you broke my heart
you broke me
stop it stop it stop it
i am not
you were supposed to be strong
i am too weak
to carry this
drop the casualties

2 days ago

a little boy killed himself today
i did now know him
Or go to school with him
he was only a freshman in high school,
no more than 15 years old
a little boy killed himself today.

a little boy killed himself today
because he felt like he was all alone in this great big world
because he thought he was a burden
because he hit rock bottom
because he felt he had nowhere to go
a little boy killed himself today.

a little boy killed himself today
he will never walk across that stage in his cap and gown
he will never get the promotion
he will never see his bride walk down the aisle
or his child take their first steps
a little boy killed himself today.

a little boy killed himself today
because he thought things would never get better.

but they do get better.
maybe not today, or tomorrow
maybe not even next week.
but they do get better.

this little boy that i tell you about
was overwhelmed with darkness
he felt like he was drowning
and he probably felt like his cries were going unheard.

i know this because I was once this boy.
but something inside me kept telling me
that it gets better
so i held out
they got better for me
and i promise you that things will get better for you too.

"suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better"

i hope this young boy found peace, he will be missed. he went to my old high school and i was compelled to write this because i felt the exact same way at his age (and younger)
PLEASE SEEK HELP if you are struggling. if you suspect someone you love is struggling, reach out to them. the signs are there - you have to be able to recognize them.
you are loved more than you know
#suicide   #2017  

Bullet was cheaper than therapy
Rather kiss it with much intimacy
Pulling the trigger was easy
Left with nothing, not even sympathy

Bullet was cheaper than therapy
Thin lines defining absolute clarity
Of trauma and pure insanity
Hope of the lonely

Bullet was cheaper than therapy
It had whisper sensually
Tempting lilt of pleasing agony
It had wait for me to dance with the harmony

Bullet was cheaper than therapy
It had promise me company
So I choose what was easy
And danced gracefully.

Moissa Padin
Moissa Padin
2 days ago

Your shoes,
I saw them lying neatly
Side by side upon the bridge.
Laces untied; socks in a crumpled bundle inside
As if you had just stepped out of them,
As if you had just left them on somebody else's doorstep.

Gingerly, I picked them up.
In the air I let my questions hang.
At what point in your life
Did these blood-red sneakers turn almost white?
Since when did its crisp signature logo
Turn into an unreadable smudge?

Worn out and faded,
Tattered and almost unrecognizable,
I barely knew the thing I was holding in my hands…

Perhaps you were too busy running
To even notice its deteriorating condition?
Never mind the cracks on the surface,
The thinning soles already caked in mud,
As long as they take you away from the darkness
Which seems to follow you everywhere.

For the last time, these shoes have served you.
Brought you in this unlikely place, on this very bridge.
Where you left them lying neatly side by side
As you took the way out, barefoot.

Hoping someone would step into them,
Feel for answers with their own toes.
And finally understand that
There were no haunting shadows in your pursuit

Because all this time

The darkness has always been inside you.

#suicide   #death   #darkness   #runaway   #run   #shoes   #haunted   #sneakers  
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