We almost made it
Hence the word almost
You left with no trace
Do you regret leaving?
I am a mess without you
Don't pretend we were nothing
You promised you'd be there for me
Unfortunately, you lied
Liquor is now your replacement
Eating seems pointless
After you left, everything lost meaning
Volcano meets tornado
Erase my foolishness
Maybe I still love you
Even now, when you don't deserve it
Forgive me for being so honest.
But I hate you!
And if you think I'm lying, I'm not. I really do hate you!
I don't like the way your face looks. Actually here! I will give you a full list of reasons why I hate you:
I hate that you keep secrets.
I hate that you procrastinate.
I hate the way you talk.
I hate the way you treat your parents.
I hate the way you treat your friends.
I hate that I have to be the one to tell you this.
I hate that you can never get your act together.
And you know --
That I hate you.
But you don't care! You'll just keep going won't you?!
I can't get rid of you...
Because you're my reflection...
There was this boy I once loved, one of the last ones.
When he walked, a trail of poetry followed him,
Words that came from Poe, Whitman, and Eliot.
His friends were overrated minimalists compared to him.
He wasn’t a lover of literature, although his face read like one
Of those old library books with the yellowed pages and the feel of
Somebody having loved the words before you, running their fingers along the lines
Passing it on and now it’s your turn, but remember, you can’t have it forever.
Oh no, he wasn’t a lover of literature.
His friends told him stories though, and they were ugly ones.
One day he said, “Hey, are you writing stories about me?”
I pause and think about what lies I should spill next
Because although I want to say, “Well, yes, I write you
“Like the ink was spilling and slipping uncontrollably from my grasp,
“Staining my fingers like you’ve stained my heart.
“I write you because your smile is like the world’s currency
“The one thing we die for, bleed for, dream for, steal for
“Slyly taking and unitedly fall when it’s breaking,
“The one thing everyone sees themselves in, reflected so clearly
“Although we couldn’t be more different, you and me.
“I see myself in you, the poetry, the words overtaking life, the beauty,
“You come onto the pages in a storm of passion and dreams, like a fantasy, you see?
“Like something out of Lewis or Tolkien, like the final empire or a savage song
“Or a wrath and a rose, or a castle made of glass, or the dawn when it comes.
“You look like the stories I love so dearly. You are the words that made me dream
“And have hope when I’m alone.”
Well, of course I don’t say those things because Christ, who does, right?
No matter how cathartic, we never say the words in our head, the words that cry to be let out.
We all think in poetry, but say things that slander the works of Plath and Poe.
So I do that, and I cast my exploding mind so far aside, I swear I heard my bones break.
I said, “No. That’s a lie.
“I don’t write.”
I purchased a ticket to your matinée.
You sold me on the storyline.
Boy likes girl,
girl likes boy,
live happily ever after.
Everyone loves a happy ending.
Here I am, front row and center,
popcorn in hand;
clueless as to why I am alone.
In this dark, cold, empty place,
I am alone.
Nonetheless, here for you.
The curtain rises, it's your time to shine.
It's just like you said,
boy likes girl,
girl likes boy.
There are no two hearts more in unison,
though it seems something unsettles his mind.
Thoughts of her lying,
Thoughts of her cheating,
Thoughts of her leaving,
I am waiting.
Where is the happy ending?
I am here waiting to watch you love,
to watch you hold,
to watch you unite.
I throw popcorn at your deceit,
at your paranoia,
at your hysteria.
You ripped me off.
I now know why I am alone.
In this dark, cold, empty place,
I am alone.
Caught in the act, trapped in the fact
I made my bed now I have to lie in it.
I wanted to win, but it was a sin
Now I have to confess to it.
Like a shooting star, I fell so far
In the tick of a clock I was in too deep.
Now I've been stained, I just feel drained
I've made too many secrets to keep.
"Let me out!" I wanted to shout
But there was nobody around to hear
And even if they did, I was no longer a kid
I've tightened my own noose I fear
This was it, I'm afraid to admit
I can no longer count the sins I've made.
I lie in wait, for a terrible fate
It wont take long for my existence to fade.
Unlearn what you know of history
Climb atop the highest eldest tree
And read the palms of its leaves,
Then Shamelessly sing aloud
they told you not to sing,
Listen to the stories of souls as they make their home in the spaces of your mind, you were never allowed to go
they speak through shrieks of sparrows
streaking through clouds,
speak through the sound of those clouds breaking,
low as the growl
of the darkest streets in Brooklyn the concrete aching
praying for morning,
Then eternally waiting,
They speak through the silence
of flowers living in pots,
resuscitating the bedroom of stale burnt air through dirty half closed windows
cumulus clouds of smoke
Remembering that we were never children.
Then just ly down there..
Until you feel that "feeling".....
Tonight is dreamless
screaming in the unheard language of origin,
I am here
I didn't expect it.
I didn't notice the change.
Not in your smile; in your eyes.
I was naive and in denial
Observing your actions and behaviors
Hiding behind the cloak of your disguise
And at once believed
That your spirit could control the ocean,
Your heart conspiring with the moon.
At a far away glance it was hidden,
A little white lie, a grain of rice
That blended in with the rest.
But once that was blown away in the wind
That little grain turned into an undeniable grease stain
As black as the ink in your pen.
The same one that scribbled hieroglyphics on my heart
Undecipherable to all but you.
I should've expected it.
I should've seen the change.
Your smiles becoming fake,
Your eyes menacing.
The Devil stole your soul,
Or, bought it, rather
And you say that this is love
Written in blood that you lather.
But this is not love
And the lies will always matter.