Mary Scott
Mary Scott
7 hours ago

I don't miss fucking on your brothers bed, sweating on plastic wrapped mattresses,
Or hitting my head on the frame,
Hearing my name when you came,
Or laughing about getting caught too many times to count,
I don't miss wasting away on your couch, watching Game Show Network and eating takeout,
Or making out after fighting,
Or turning out the lights in the house to sneak by the rest of the family after sex,
I don't miss it but I digress

#love   #sex   #personal   #freeverse   #nsfw   #jmk  
Mary Scott
Mary Scott
7 hours ago

Oh, God I'm freaking out
What if I never get around
To pursuing my dreams and I stay stuck
Like the lump in my throat that stings
An ember burning its way through my chest
But never gets deep enough to see what I need, where I need to be and what makes me feel free oh god,
Oh, god I'm freaking out
What if I never get around
To pursuing my dreams
The East coast buries me under slush and AC leakage, oh God I can't breathe
Oh god I'm freaking out,
What if I never get around
To me,
And then it's too late
I need to escape

#love   #fear   #anxiety   #summer   #young   #travel   #freeverse   #jmk  
Mary Scott
Mary Scott
11 hours ago

I'm sorry if I don't always make sense
I'm still trying to piece together memories I drank away last fall
through the puke on the floor I can still see last spring:
fucking you on Easter when I was alone,
the night before screaming into my pillow until I couldn't see straight,
pretending to my family and friends that I hated you,
but wishing you'd have stayed later.
through the shattered mirror I smashed last fall I can still see last spring:
sending you letters that you never read,
smashing my head against the steering wheel,
driving without direction because you wouldn't be anywhere I went,
I still see last spring through the botched memories
and I still feel it every time hear our song and have to change the channel,
I still keep that flannel put away,
I know you burned everything of ours in the summer but I couldn't find the strength

#love   #sad   #summer   #breakup   #idk   #personal   #freeverse  
Janna Remigio
Janna Remigio
1 day ago

Your masculinity. I knew I was warm enough with alcohol, but when you patted my arm and then walked away, I felt a sudden chill. The next thing I know, I was caressing it.

Your immediacy. You crossed my mind before we even met. And when we did, you kept smiling at me, and I reciprocated. I was convenient with the lenity of it all. In no time, you were sniffing at me, and I was telling you my darkest secret.

Your charm. It was very much like listening to Pachelbel and drinking in a company of good friends. It is either I am comforted, stimulated, or besotted. It could be all at once.

(What had happened before we met and happened afterwards are oxymorons that only make sense with whatever is 'between' us.)

#poem   #drunk   #lust   #dark   #crush   #night   #acrostic   #erotic   #freeverse   #flirt  
Mary Scott
Mary Scott
1 day ago

I feel electricity when we touch
a buzz I left in my seventeenth year
with latex condoms and shitty beer,
but I felt it there with you

I feel warmth when we talk
a calm I lost in translation,
decoding frantic cries in adolescent desperation
but I breathed deeply with you

I feel alive when we lay, wherever we may
A high I abandoned for minimum wage pay,
nodding off in cubicles to keep debt at bay,
but you make me forget that

I feel something with you that I forgot I could,
My heart races without desination, knowing it should
s t o p
and enjoy the view this time,
I feel fine this time

Hummingbird
Hummingbird
1 day ago

If I think
I'll over think
And if I over think
I'll cry.

And I know I'm the problem,
I know I'm not quite
Where I should be
And I know I have a lot of
Problems
But I can be better
If only given the chance.

I will falter,
I will fail,
But some days
That's okay.

But I can't think
About it.
I can't think
Can't react
Just remain steady.

Hummingbird
Hummingbird
1 day ago

Maybe I just want to be good enough.
Maybe I just want to be told that I am enough.
Maybe I just want to be anything but forgotten.

Maybe I just want to not feel like I have to run away,
Maybe I just want to feel like I belong.
Maybe this is hard for me to say,
But maybe it's been this way all along.

Because maybe I want you to see me,
And maybe I want you to hear me.
And maybe I just want to be me,
And maybe, if you could just love that part of me.

Then maybe I'd be okay,
And maybe I wouldn't want to push you away.
And maybe if I felt lovable,
Then fcking maybe I'd be stronger and more able.

Because, f
cking maybe, if my parents didn't fck me up.
And, f
cking maybe, if those bastards didn't use me,
And maybe
Just maybe
If I could heal at the rate you want to see results
Things would be better,
I'd be better.
But I can't.

Hummingbird
Hummingbird
1 day ago

I will never belong
The way I want to.

I will never be yours and yours alone.

My mind is too twisted
By my insanity
And you're too distracted
By
All of it.

("It" being every possible
Distraction)

I'll never be perfect,
I'll only ever be me.

And that is very, very, far from perfect.

Hummingbird
Hummingbird
1 day ago

I do things better when I'm drunk.
I think fuzzily,
But I feel much more profoundly.

I do lots of things better
When I don't think too much,
Though.

When I giggle
When I laugh
When I'm all smiles
And nothing fazes me.

But I shouldn't have more than two drinks
When I'm with you,
Especially when you're drinking.

I barely have enough patience for your drunk-self
When I'm sober,
But when I feel this much,
For both you and I,
I can't do it.

Frankly,
You make an ass of yourself.

I'd point out why,
But I'm too buzzed for that.

I'm sure I'll forget
Come morning.

I only drink when I want to sleep, I haven't been sleeping at all.
Hummingbird
Hummingbird
1 day ago

The only person who has ever been there
In my moments of brokenness

Is four hundred miles away,
And I know
She knows
I love her.

And I know
She knows
I appreciate it.

But if I could give her the moon,
To keep her in my life,
I would have captured it within a ribbon'd box
By now.

 
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