Gettin’ ****t on like I’m The Villian,
got this queasy feeling on the line reeling,
coming undone at the same time wound up and spun,
I’m done playing but stuck at the table with The Dealer still dealing,

want to throw myself up out of myself,
can escape every position except the one I’m in,
can’t escape yourself if knowledge is wealth,
then I’m loaded & still spending my winnings,

got Karma Credit but I’m morally cash poor,
because I just fckt my girlfriend as if she was a *****,
and I feel terrible or rather horrible about it,
because i think I’m infected by what neglect did without a cure,

no one is pure,
at least I’m not that’s for sure,
I'm tainted with devils in my head painted with what I spilled I’m red,
sick with the sort of illness that can't easily be cured,

in fact got a bad case of the blues,
but instead of strumming a guitar I’m taking things too far,
cut her so bad with my fingernails,
that I fear it might leave a few scars,

tied her up so tight,
that her wrists turned purple,
see she’s attracted to bad boys,
and I warned her that that’s the type of attraction that can hurt you,

little girl shouldn’t be out past her curfew,
nothing good ever happens past midnight,
but we’re both running from something,
both stand outs in the in crowd still something doesn’t sit right,

I’m uncomfortable,
because I think maybe all humans are disgusting,
maybe we just cause each other pain and trash the earth’s surface,
maybe we deserve to feel guilty & that’s why we are all fcking distrusting,

maybe I’m gonna fckn **** myself,
but this is a card game so then again maybe I’m bluffing,
maybe everything’s going to be alright,
maybe I’m being uptight for nothing,

but I’ll tell you what I feel like the **** of my own joke,
but I don’t give a fck so instead of changing I’m just shrugging,
mean mugging every person I pass suspicious of every bloke,
because these days crime pays and everyone’s always up to something,

and I just want to get ghost,
but I can’t and I guess that’s the way it goes,
so I’m sittin’ in the uncomfortable position,
of being both a role model as well as a criminal,

Gettin’ ****t on like I’m The Villian,
got this queasy feeling on the line reeling,
coming undone at the same time wound up and spun,
I’m done playing but stuck at the table with The Dealer still dealing…

∆ LaLux ∆

I ran to your aid
When you called me late that night
I broke several laws on the way
Because I heard your screams
Before you even screamed

Am I the villian now
Because I wasnt fast enough
Am I as I opened the door
To your bedroom
And didnt flinch at the sight

There you were
Wrist cut open
Eyes rolling back
With your breath escaping
I tried to help

Am I the villian
Did I try hard enough
I loved you
You just walked out on it
And bled out for your mistake

Am I the villian
For telling you I loved you
For trying to make things work
I did my best right
So where did it go wrong

The doctors tried their best
They said I did everything I could
But I still
Feel like I failed
And I wish you were still here

You would of comforted me
You would of answered
My jumbled up questions
But the one stll unanswered
Am I the villian

I get looks from everybody
Your parents wont talk to me
I feel like a man being crucified
For not being able to save you
Im getting shuned by society

Am I the villian
Because it feels like I am
What was so wrong
In trying to save you
Was it the fact that I failed

I cant apologize
No one will listen
I love you
Please come back to me
Even if that means haunting my dreams

I want to see your smile
Hear your angelic voice
Feel your hands on my face
And taste your lips again
I know its too late for all of that

Am I the villain
In this fairytale
I feel like I am
Somebody tell me Im not
And let me be with her once more

Last time I loved, I took a dagger
To the heart.
We were supposed to make it last!
Little did I know
I threw a hundred daggers back
With my selfishness and need for an escape,
While she suffered holding back the needle.
Held her tightly with my clammy hands
As I begged for her on my knees.
"No more lying." I forced out my clenched jaw.
She stared into my deep sunken eyes
And said it would be the last
Moment of her presence, she, my crutch that held
Me up to my dangling life.
I fell hard onto concrete when her love collapsed
And left me down because she never looked back,
But I recovered and rose
Into an unforgiving villian
With a judgement that there is no love
Just tragedies.

Waking up to the hero and the villian.
I went to sleep with the hero and the villian.
The spirit I got the healin,
My mind reminds me I'm not different
Cause I was born with the same sickness.
Heros never die only for a good cause,
But it hurts to know I'm the one that's gunna set his trap up....I'm tripping.
But the Good in me is gunna be the one that's going to Win...losers ain't winners and heros always win.

If I told you I killed myself at 16 would you believe me?
Or just say "young Dougie is just miss behaving" slaving, as I am chained and serving society who is caving, and ask god for gifts that even he found entertaining...when a boy grows up his insides start changing and the tint of red in his heart dims and starts fading,
he felt pain at its highest, experienced the attitude of a liar and seen 1st hand what it means when a "GOOD THING" just expires. He grows tired and tense while blood drips from his hand, broken glass on the floor... he punched the reflection of a man…
who seems injustice and corrupt, always pushin his luck, and remains silent when addressed, he so easily erupts. Takin shots of big dreams with NyQuil in a cup, "good" imaginative girls around him, he's just too messed up...liquor doesn't help his mind, still stuck in a rut, and the shakes only means his temperatures gon up.
You see the high in his eyes, where he constantly lies, never looks you in the face, just looks on the other side, one of a kind guy, never been a afraid to die, don't ask this guy why? Cause he will never reply.
Communication he never lacked, he just speaks better over a track,
Give him a pen, white paper,
A smooth beat and watch him rap.
And listen closely to his story, pay close attention to the facts,
visualize all his words,
And dissect his true meaning
Of a brain dead poet who uses his pen filled of integrity with a pad made of dreaming.

Don't ask me to save your soul, or rescue your burning heart from a building...
I'm no superhero, just a modern day fake EVIL villain...

-Dougie Simps

So you want a villian in your story?
I'll be the ******* bad guy
I'll be the one who you can blame
The disappointment every time.
So you want a villian in your story?
A cause for every tear you cry
I'll play this ******* game
I'll be the fall guy
So you want a villian in your story?
Some one you criminalize
I'll be the ******* evil
That keeps you up at night

Last night I dreamed
My life as a comic book.
An intermingled mess,
Those who have not read
Every single issue,
Cannot begin to know.
A brightly colored spectrum
Of unexpected blows.
Amidst all the villian’s
Unrelenting throws
Of powers no more
Than planting
The seeds of self doubt,
I stood armed to fall.
As each seed landed
Upon  my head,
I fell to watch
Each punch line
Read only
“Bam!”
and “Kapow!”.
The plot never thickened
And never came to save me.
In a story
from the villan’s head,
Perpetually trapped
Until the hero returned
to write her portion
of my tale.
As the seeds grew
Into absolute fear,
A twisted feeling
Took hold of my gut.
Who is the antagonist
and who the protagonist?

i finalised my "divorce" today. well, it was a breakup. 2 years together, lived together, shared our cats, shared a life... all that. so yeah, it felt like a mini divorce.

and i couldn't help but notice how relatable the song "happiness" by taylor swift is now...

"all the years i've given is just **** we're dividing up"

he left the house a week ago. today he came by, and divided up our shared things.

"tell me when did your winning smile
began to look like a smirk?
when did all our lessons start to look like weapons
pointed at my deepest hurt?"

when i first met him, it was the stuff of fairytales - like most relationships. we shared some of the best memories of our lives together. but like all good things, it came to an end. over time, we became stressed with life's responsibilities. we became toxic to each other, and both made terrible mistakes. towards the end, it became the inevitable to end things.

"after giving you the best i had
tell me what to give after that?"

i gave it my all. we both tried our best. it just wasn't meant to be.

"haunted by the look in my eyes
that would've loved you for a lifetime"

how i wished he was the one... given any chance, i would've loved him for a lifetime. i miss him. i miss the life we shared. i grieve for the future we will never have.

"i can't make it go away by making you a villian"

but just because the relationship failed, it was still extraordinarily beautiful. i hold zero resentment towards him at all. no negative feelings. i wish him all the best in the future.

"no one teaches you what to do
when a good man hurts you
and you know you hurt him too"

these lyrics hit me the most...

"there'll be happiness after you
but there was happiness because of you"

goodbye, lover. maybe in another lifetime, our paths will cross again. but for now, i wish you all the happiness in the world. i will always have love for you deep in my heart.

they were like an
unexpected weight gain,
no choice but to adapt.

they came into his life
in a train wreck,

he fell head over heels
and wondered if he
had been enrolled back
into high school.

there was a catch,
much to his disdain.
11 and 19,
perpetually angry at
their father
at their mother
at life.

he was the blunt
victim of their rage.

the boy soon
redirected his rage
into drugs, alcohol,
***, jail.

the girl did not.

it was not his fault,
he would not let
her get to him.

but he did,
and she had grinned
at the murderous
fire in his eyes.

he screamed
and released his own
anger,
you're letting her ruin it
she knows what shes doing
shes ruining us
you're letting her ruin it
please listen to me.

tears glistened
down his cheeks,
she smiled.

he was gone,
though insults and
words remained.

that was 2 down, more to go.

How come all my best and worst nights
Lead straight to you?
Impacting every moment had
With small things you do.

You have stood behind me proud as I
Won or lost battles and fought wars
Made special memories brighter
Just calling me yours.

You've also been the reason
I've been tempted by suicide
You've witnessed darkest parts
My worst and stayed by my side.

You've taught the most painful lessons
But also showed beauty they hold
Warmed long Winter days
Struck my heart with touch so cold.

You have been the villian of my story
Far more than hero
Brought me higher than birds fly
Then right back to zero.

Some of the best nights had
Happened solely thanks to you
You made good days great
Better than you knew.

Although you have bestowed infinite pain
Hurt me in ways I knew not existed
I adore the hand holding the knife
You buried in my back and twisted.

How are you my favorite person
When I hate the things you have done?
You are soulmate, colleague, enemy, lover,
Rival, best friend, partner, foe, all rolled into one.

He comes in with sword so sharp
Prying the princess away from the harp
She is bewildered by his arrival
Guards try to stop him in a fight of survival
Without mercy he chops them down
One by one they fall to the ground
All of them defeated
With the same sword I am greeted
So I break the castle to ruins
Killing all remaining humans
The princess is gone
This is all wrong
I was only trying to keep her safe!
Then the stranger came in thinking he was brave...?

Oh-
Oh no--

All alone now
Still in awe how
I now understand
The play is grand!
There was one more blank spot to fill in
My role as *the villian

A hero in a book or movie.
Fighting the evil queen.
Reclaming a homeland-or mountain.
Saving the world with a companion in a blue boxs.
Leading a rebelion.
Beind captain of a ship- Serenity or the USS Enterpise.
Cathing a serial killer.
Or stopping a psychotic well dressed villian.
One man or woman saving the world.
When I was younger I wished I could be like them.
But now I can barely fight the demons in my mind.
Why would I dream of saving the day when I am not sure I want to live another day?
Life is no fairy tail.
This is not Middle-Earth or Narnia.
There are villians and monsters yes but not ones that we can defeat during wizzard chess or with a want or lazer sword.
They are just as real and dangerous.
But the live in our minds.
I tried to run from the watching tv series and movies and reading books.
Dreaming of another life.
But eventualy the demons got closer to chatching up.
And no hero will be able to safe me.
I will have to fight the monsters in my head myself, all on my own.
And I hope that I will be strong and brave enough when that time comes.

I'm in my villian era;
That is to say
I'm in my intolerant era
My "I don't give a ****" era
My "I don't have patience for peoples emotions and stupidity" era;

Except its not an era
It's a day
A week
It is a come and go feeling that helps me to function and push forward,
It is an intensity
A fire burning, but not from anger
It is power and control
It is a wall
It's still kind, but different, tainted
Searching for the motive, the string, the catch
proceeding wearily, lacking child-like faith.

It is the only way to protect myself,
demanding respect
To declare that statement:
"Don't **** with me"
To be a sheep in wolf's clothing
Until I feel safe enough to rid myself of this hyde.

I've been a mat
I've been walked on.
I've been a door ****
Everyone got a turn to use me.
I held onto the light in my  life you held

But now I tell the darkness I'm coming home.
The fire in my soul like a bomb about to blow.
The nuclear reactor of everything I've stored inside is going critical.
I can feel the crack in my poor cracking sanity expanding.

I'm breaking the spell
I'm releasing a breathe of subservient pain
And breathing in the deadly air of change

How's it feel to have my foot on your throat?
Come now don't turn purple so easily!
Say goodbye to all the world.
Tonight's your funeral party!
You see I've died on the inside,
Or really I'm finally alive!
Don't act so surprised,
You made me a victim,
And now
Well now
I'm you
No I'm better
I'm a villain

Because she wants to touch him,
she moves away.
Because she wants to talk to him,
she keeps silent.
Because she wants to kiss him,
she turns away
& kisses a man she does not want to kiss.

He watches
thinking she does not want him.
He listens
hearing her silence.
He turns away
thinking her distant
& kisses a girl he does not want to kiss.

They marry each other -
A four-way mistake.
He goes to bed with his wife
thinking of her.
Sher goes to bed with her husband
thinking of him.
-& all this in a real old-fashioned four-poster bed.

Do they live unhappily ever after?
Of course.
Do they undo their mistakes?
Never.
Who is the victim here?
Love is the victim.
Who is the villian?
Love that never dies.

Sometimes the hero must die
masking the hopeful vision.
A blanket of black.

Not all tales begin with “once upon a time
and end with twilight.
The villain will win.
Ushering in an unholy time.
Happily ever after?
Consider it dead.
This may not work out in the end.
The only question is
How will it end?
Will it end?
How long can this last?

To Death,
roses smell like
spirits
six feet deep.

Life is spent searching for life.

St. Michael,
The Archangel
Defend us in battle.

The oppressed will rise,
only to be crushed again.
Never forget…

Hope takes time.

But what if hope never comes.

That
is how stories end.

And if the story has to end,
at least the beginning can be remembered.

I woke up a villian from my worst nightmare
Too scared to defend those that really matter
Seeing the heroes of the story
And watching all their dreams shatter
Weaponless against the clock
That just keeps ticking
If time is all that really matters
Then why am I still breathing?
I can't control the emotionless toll it takes on my mind
I'll never be brave enough to try and turn back time
It ticks a little faster whenever I'm running late
And slows down completely when I try to test fate
On a date with the mastermind behind all my evil plans
He's death incarnate but still proud of my artistic scams
And yet I find myself feeling ashamed of who I am

The twisted reality is that bones break. People literally break and you dont always get better. Lives end, stories end, and people rarely get new beginings. The twisted reality is that none of what you thought as a kid was true. Not everyone can be president, and you cant be who you want to be. The twisted reality is that there are monsters in some little girls rooms, and thier moms cant make them go away. The twisted reality is that nightmares only end when you do, you dont get to wake up and think everything is fine. The twisted reality is that your parents lie to you. Not everyone is beautiful, not everyone is talented, and not everyone can be special. The twisted reality is that someone in your current school will become a 'villian' before thier life is over. The twisted reality is that we are all villians. Doing horrible things for what we think is right. The twisted reality is that most people will ignore what i am saying. Live in the lie. The twisted reality is people die thinking everything is fine.

being the only one left on the planet that is neither a **** or a politician, both of which are only good for ******* people
2. waking up naked in the middle of the street
3. both of those happening at once
4. not finishing lists
5. jumping off my roof, breaking every single bone in my body and ultimately crushing my stupid brain because i thought i could swing like spider-man and being bit by any type of spider is not exactly how its works i guess
6. you thinking i no longer have super powers ...
7. going to the theatre to see the sequel or sequel sequel or sequel sequel sequel or whatever it's at now of spider-man and you leaving because you loved the original
8. me being the sequel
9. singing john lennon's "imagine" in the car but you taking the line "imagine all the people" way too seriously
10. buying a photo album and only having pictures of when we picked out the perfect pumpkin at halloween and you called me your pumpkin
11. going to my favourite cafe and seeing you and your new pumpkin... spice latte
12. being eaten alive by jealousy
13. my neighbours dog was named jealousy
14. choking
15. by being force fed the fact you can see someone else and i can't do it
16. having to do cpr on myself even though you're trained
6. you thinking i no longer have super powers
17. dying without my sidekick
6. you thinking i no longer have super powers
18. i kind of feel that way too
6. you thinking i no longer have super powers
19. death by torture
20. by my very own needles, that pinned that places we wanted to go on the map, piercing the the spaces in between my ribs causing
21. my heart to deflate even though i thought it was protected by this boney jail sell
22. what's a superhero without a heart?
23. a villian
24. you still seem like you fight for the good side but dip your toes in
25. the dark side
26. the villains always lose especially when it comes to
27. love life, has any one of them had
28. a wife, if so its never been
29. showing itself
30. minutes of my favourite tv show is all i get but
31. you don't air anymore
32. saying  "i wish you were' but
33. not the pink floyd song
34. im a different kind of writer
35. and in this story the villain would become good
36. he also would get the girl
37. the girl
38. not the city and colour song either
39. would be the final scene where i'm wrapping ropes around my ankles and dangling myself from the roof top
40. is an exception... because I'm not afraid to have all i'm worth fall from my pockets and have you kiss me like Lois Lane

Chillin like a villian
listenin to dylan
writin and thrillin,
as long as the good lord's willin

Sweatpants & a ponytail,
chillin with no make up on.
Cos' it's like my hobby now

Camo sleep pants
led zep tee
drinkin cold ones
and groovin to youtube

Watching scream queens
on netflix.
Texting & trying to figure out
what's next

Keying thoughts
onto my notebook
thinking hard about
a late night snack

Chillin like a penguin
cos' its freezing cold.
Wishing I had some hot coco.
Trying stay up late.

Toasty warm
inside my room
to step out for a smoke
would seal my chill

Chillin' is amazing.
I got the chills,
feeling like a cold hell
Wolf Spirit Poet is amazing

Chillin, blazin
mind **** amazin
oh these nights
dreamin and lazin

My minds shut, insides ticking and about to erupt
I'm holding in all issues within
Wish my stubborn **** would just speak up
Nightmares in my cup, rolling on a bad dream
Walking alone with reality, my perception of you ain't what it seems
Ask "are you a human bein?"
Maybe he's still a villian..
Don't hide what you have inside, please...tell me your "true" feelings
As my ego remains in intense healing
With jokers I continue dealing.
Criticism as my decor, with old habits thrown on the floor
Clipped wings, so I jumped. Knowing ill plummet and never soar
Pushes becomes shoves
****, I've lost so much potential love.
By the way, I'm still a hopeless overthinker
Nothing has changed much.
But it has. I no longer feel I'm a spawn of my dad
I've grown into my potential
I can feel now what I couldn't reach
I listen to what people say
I no longer care to preach
I'm sorry to my uncle, I was lost without respect.
I apologize to my family, who never knew what was coming next
For my deception, lack of perception
I'm sorry to my ex.
With many words and few steps
I'm giving my all and nothing less
It's just so hard to improve your past
When people rarely saw your best.
With god by my side, I can't lose any fight
I will remain humble in my journey
I will help guide dark eyes to the light
I beg for the world to not quit, continue to doubt but learn to accept me.
It's not my family, it's not a woman, it's not my friends...I'm the only person who can reinvent me.

**Learning to enjoy life, if you work hard, it's okay to be proud
Excuse me for saying so much in a silent room...I was just thinking again...outloud.

I'd rather be a villian by standing up for myself than the victim Who silently cries for help.

whirlwinds dust ashes
it wanders and follows your every step
your hair turns into moss, your fingertips connect with your accomplice
someday you will have to saw them in two
I wonder if your laugh will be the same once its your fingers under the blade
you’re turning bald and your nose is merely a button
can you smell the stench you create every time you lower your lip?
do you see the trail of destruction?

your bed is a coffin
your heart is non-existent
it’s a shame your teeth don’t even match the vision
your eyes aren’t rubies and your gums aren’t ******
glory is fictious, horns are the dream
not even that is what it may seem
for your head is a block of dirt and your thoughts are deflated
perhaps the worms came and ate them
perhaps they feast on you the same way you feast on me

except you don’t
the feast is your imagination
your perception is pitiful
you are forever insubstantial

Young Ston..,Uhh..
(Put yo lighters in the air2),wave them, stand up & rejoice, (Yeah2),(put yo lighters in the air2),wave them..stand up & let's be together, (Yeah2),..(put yo lighters, in the air3)..stand up & let's fight back Yeah..let's fight together, Yeah, let's fight together man..(put yo lighters up in the air3)..wave them,stand up my ****** & let's fight for the truth...Yeah..Uhh..Yeah
Put yo lighters up & wave them..

Have no fear my *****, the more that we are together than against each other we are stronger, & smater & we can defeat this evil sadistic system, why y'all so scared for, don't be man...
Cuhz,they are more afraid of us than we are actually are of them, we can win together, yeah..(put yo lighters in the air3)..& wave them,Uhh,my *****..Where the peace at, where the love went..man...
They got us so distracted, I'm so tired of being lied to , I had enough of it,..my *****, We keep going to war for nothing,.. So much Bloodshed cause for no good reason, America is the real terrorists,..**** my ****** in the hood keep destroying themselves..man, the government ain't really for we the people, they selfish, they only care about the money & that's it, put yo lighters up Yeah..put yo lighters in the air man & let's revolt, Rebel & rejoice now my nigg..Uhh

So much **** **** & ******* they been feeding our minds for years & years, is about to stop..Cuhz, God don't like ugly..Uhh..
Imma OFTR Soulja, death can't even stop me Naw, it won't mane..Uhh, untill I meet my Heavenly Father, Imma keep on fighting, ryhming, preaching, & fulfilling my destiny, my ***** this is real hip hop, I'm bringing awareness like a Aids convention,Ayo, nothing can be above Jesus Christ,..that's why I worship & praise him, hes my idol, no man is, I'm above these ******* because of him, Aye mane..

Put yo lighters up , blaze one..(Yeah2)...Aye, let's Unite as one & peace it dawg..everybody get a piece of the pie, not apple, sweet potatoe with whip cream on the top..Aye
Yeah I might say the same thing in all of my songs, but peace is the only thing that stay flowing in my mind, Yeah peace is all I want,..Lets go..Uhh..

I said put yo lighters up in the air, Yeah put yo lighters up high my *****..(Yeah, put yo lighters up,man3)..,let's fight back..together & stop Being so afraid,..(Yeah2)..Aye,..We need more musicians telling people what's real man, my ***** Imma Villian to society,, **** The government, I know they already got assassins out here looking for me, but I don't fear death,..The elitist can burn in hell, I live forever Yeah, **** America..(They can *******2)..man..Cuhz,
Heaven is my country, *****,..&
(Imma be who I wanna be2)..

Yeah mane, Uhh,..(Put yo lighters up2)..in the air wave em back n forth Yeah, let's rejoice & uplift each other instead of killing each other..Yeah..(put yo lighters up2)..roll up & let us be as one man..Yeah, put yo lighters up in thee air, & wave them..(Put yo lighters up man,put yo lighters up, Yeah*3)..Yeah...Uhh, put them lighters up..high..& wave them.. Yeah,yeah..Aye

i used to believe i was getting
better, but now i realize that i
never was. i have become an
addict, but not to a drug or
something of the sort. i am
addicted to my sadness and now
there is no hope left. you can't
save the damsel who's in love with
her distress. you can't beat the
villian when the villian has become
your only true compainion. you
can't get rid of the one thing that
has become all of you. you can't
and you never will.