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Take a look
Snap a pic
Souvenir in case
You already know
But I'd rather not dwell
Window shop till
You've seen it all
What's the harm
I'll be your theme park
Quick thrills
Lasting memories
Even if I'm not what you want
In the end you can't say
I didn't try to make you smile
Every chance I could
So take another peak
I promise I'll bite
Only as hard as you want
While I kiss you
As long as I can
Went from daily drugs
Hanging with wannabe thugs
To watching a little girl grow
Without my daily influence
Daily buzzes
Weekly lows
Constant battles I fought on my own
Never addicted
Just chasing a feeling
Where I wasn't feeling
Tired of the depression
Wasting my life with anxiety
Now I'm getting high
Off the feeling that
Tomorrow will be better
Whether I'm there or not
Accepting the fact
I'll go to bed in a better place
Then where I woke up from
Instead of ******* about where I am
In a room full of people
Adored and cherished
Every smiling face
Laughter filled room
With incense of positivity
I'm alone
Dark cloud as sunshine
Tries to stretch through
Thunderous is my depression
As lightning flashes
On my regal hopes
Even in the midst
Hurricane Joy
Countered by tornados
Self animosity
Ethereal loathing
Towards endless weather
Changing out of season
This constant downpour
Twisting emotions
I'm left with the title
Self proclaimed
Outcast
Hiding away from what's inside
Portraying roles with feats
Surpassing that of demigods
I'm just a leaf
Rolling around in this flurry
Of ever changing winds
Yesterday I was home
Eating cereal
No cares
No worries
Watching an airplane
Mix like playdough
With concrete and ignite terror
Yesterday I was picking out a puppy
Little and adorable
Smallest of the bunch
Sparky became his name
Fighting so hard to scale
Two flights of stairs
To our parents room
Yesterday I was opening his present
Surprise it's for me
A guitar saying from him
Yesterday I got in my first fight
Had my first kiss
My first girlfriend
In my first grade
Yesterday I was somewhere else
Doing something I'll remember again
All these memories
Precious as can be
My personal scrapbook
Everything I've done
Failures to victories
Watching my dad cry
As he became overjoyed with pride
When I got third place
In my first pig show
Yesterday I watched my daughter be born
Felt the weight of a human heart
Swell in my desolate chest
Yesterday I met all my friends
Yesterday I got married
Yesterday I was there
Today I'm here
Reminiscing on all those years
Watching a comic on speed pages
Every action a picture
Put in motion
And at the end
Just me with a peace sign and a pen
Drawing the next few pages
Till I think about this again
How time flies and I wasn't even aware
How quick it slipped by
When the pen runs dry
My legacy won't be
On pixelated paper
But a sticky note reading
I-O-U
While I hoist Davey Jones colours
Indebted to you I'll forever be
Because you gave me a reason to smile
When the universe rejected me
Push pull
Tug of war
Daily norm
All that is visible
Mere blemish on ceramic
Hiding chaos beneath
Fault lines rupturing
Tectonic Plates of sanity
Converging invisibly
Because you can't see
My world orbit your universe
Floating aimlessly
Waiting for the moment
Your gravity wants me
Even if for a second
I'll make it last
Because chasing happiness is easy
When you're always hurting
Robert Guerrero Nov 2021
It'll be too late for words
Every and any action
Will fall short of useful
You won't get to know me
See the size of my heart
In subtle actions
With no real benefit
Besides a smile
I don't know how I'll do it
Let alone when
I just know it will happen
When I **** myself
Don't think anything of it
No moment of silence
A prayer whispered
Allow me to be that person
That you never knew
Passed by once or twice
You gave no notice to
Even when he held the door
When I go
You'll be on my mind
Either chased out by lead
Perhaps deprived of oxygen
Even surgically removed
Scalpel never scarring
Everything certainly deleted
With all the viruses
No reboot or reinstallation
When I **** myself
I'll have nothing to say
No note
No apology
No real deadline
I'll be a name
Stamped on stone
Engraved in paper
Beside two dates
No one will ever remember
I'll die just like I lived
Alone praying
I'll find the strength
To hope tomorrow is better
When I **** myself
Leave me to the wind
I'll kiss your cheek
When you need fresh air
I'll be the motion of nature
Waving tree limbs
Just so you're mind can escape
When I **** myself
I'll be there for you
Still trying for a smile
When I **** myself
I'll be taking the parts of me
I gave each of you
When I **** myself
You might realize
I know how little I meant
So if you still want an explanation
I'm just making room
For someone else to grow
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