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Assembly line
Mass production
Clone after clone
The prototype already destroyed
Before I really knew what love was
One soul
Three heart's
4 women
Soul handed over
Sold over a telephone
Crushed and thrown back in my face
Still she owned it
Her signature forever on it
Heart auctioned off
First hand raised
She never owned it
Just passed down to the kid we had
Another heart forged
Somehow all it took was a flight
With a destination not far from me
And a glimpse at each other
But a car wreck was all it took
To shatter what I thought was great
Back to the crafting table
A failed relationship
My hands wiping her tears
Comfort I provided
Happiness I found
When I woke up next to her
Breath of life
All it took to end
Was a whisper of gossip
And the company of a neighbor
It's what I get for falling
It's what I deserve for trying
So till it finds me
I'll play hide and seek
With cupid's stupid little ***
While he's searching for me
In the opposite direction I'll be
**** this little thing called love
For some reason
It keeps me awake at night
Taunting my poetic nerves
Wishing I had space to scream
And a deal with the reaper
Perhaps then my soul and heart
Would be in the hands
Of the same owner
So I wouldn't have to worry
About making another heart
For someone else to shatter
For so long I've hated myself
Overthinking my inadequacy
Setting personal standards
I never could measure up to
I'm not funny
I'm not cute
Just a furry blob
A disgusting existence
Not suited for any level of affection
Never good enough
For anybody or any certain someone
I was wrong
Stuck in the wrong State of mind
I'm more than enough
Profound in all aspects
It's you're standards overly extended
It's they who aren't worthy
To the love that only I can express
My existence is golden
It's your sight that fails
I've allowed negativity
To exceed in it's success
Drowning my self worth out
If I'm not good enough to you
You were never great enough for me
I need 12pm car rides holding hands
2am cuddle sessions
5:45am coffee
6:30am kisses as I'm off to work
Dances with my daughter
Whenever I get home
Rock paper scissors to see who cooks
I'll probably lose on purpose
Just to give her a break
Foot massages with her favorite show
Cold beer just to end the day
Back to the grind
As the rooster crows
I've been in the wrong State of mind
Too long thinking what I saw
Shaking it's head at me in the mirror
Was the one that was right
I'm simple yet complex
If you can't figure that out
It's your loss not mine
I need reasons to be a kid
In between days of adulting
I need "I love you"
With sincerity that melts me
I don't want to be this tungsten wall
Painted to portray a man
Of 1940s ideals
I need a reason to not be scared
To let emotions run rampant
Finally recycling stockpiled toxins
If it isn't you
Maybe I've been in the wrong State of mind
Telling myself you're the one I needed
When I'm the one you don't want
Took too long to realize how many heartfelt "I love you"s left empty places in my soul. No more. I'm not saying it again till I feel someone really means it and deserves me to say it back.
Inhale
Exhale
Fruits of our labor
Hidden in the breaths we take
Fresh
Stale
Nothing seems to explain
The reasons each one matters
Huff
Puff
Pass out from lack of oxygen
Fatigue sets in
Breathe new life into me
With every prayer
Every second I waste
Compliments to my lack of concern
My life is alot like smoke
Once created
Slowly fades into the stars
There only for the addicted
Once obtained
Brutally abused
Old habits die hard
Maybe I'll stop using
I did for a while
3 months sober
Chased that high
When it knocked again
Playing tag with my doorbell
All it took
Was a ding
Crumbling everything I thought
I had under control
Built Fort Knox within Alcatraz
But before you
And the emotions you stir
Limp blades of torn grass
A butterfly heartbeat
Is all it takes
Before it's laid out before you
A quick surrender
With all the wonders of my essence
From ruby thoughts
Sapphire dreams
Diamond heart
Tungsten devotion
To the rarest gem of all
My senseless addiction to you
And how the sound of your voice
Makes the darkest hour
A vibrant second I never noticed
So I chase an endless high
Relapsing
With every thought of you
Will you be ready
Would you be present
Did I matter to you
What was my value
Was I just another hole in your pants
Or a stitch to your seams
When the day comes
What would you do
If I was no longer here
1am thoughts...I need sleep.
Tag
You're right
I was wrong
Yet you don't realize I was right
I've said it so many times
Stuck on repeat
I'm an old vinyl
It can't be helped
That you were scared
Reality is just a perception
It's not a script we follow
It's dialogues and ideas
Mistakes and lessons
I knew you loved me
I still love you
Yet those few words
You uttered into my ear
Desecrated my faith in my heart
I chose the path I took
Simply out of recklessness
Settling for less
When I deserved more at one point
Now I'm excepting
The sum of my worth
Just a divorced dad
Single for all eternity
I couldn't have given you
Anything of worth
We've played scenarios
Created dialogues within our monologue
Changed dreams so many times
They lost their shape
Our version of tag
It's funny now
How even after time passes
We still play it
Maybe one day
We'll stop lying to ourselves
And smile in each other's arms
Or face the version of reality
You're dead set on perceiving
I've announced it so many times
In different ways
Perhaps being blunt
Would be easier to say
I'm madly in love with you
You don't have my heart
You have my soul instead
Through endless heartbreaks
Life threatening seconds
I'm your crazy
Just waiting to be claimed
I guess that's the issue
We always are scared to face
How do we claim each other
When we're world's apart
How do we work
When our lives are already in motion
8 hours ahead and behind


Tag...



I love you
Read it twice.
Collection of non collectables
Cellar of my soul
In the penthouse of my existence
Rooms filled
Floor to ceiling
Wall to wall
I'm an emotional distillery
Not one bottle sold
Refusing as they've grown stale
Aging like milk
Bottles to bottles
I'm an avid collector
I'll store these emotions
Till someone comes with a flame
Burning this monstrous mansion
Shattering glass and melting stills
I'm the master of bottled emotions
Entrepreneur of killing myself slow
Connoisseur of fragile humanity
So one after one
I'll bottle till I implode
Becoming an emotional alcoholic
Silently and unseen
Rotting my mind
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