Skin.
Skin!
Not their's. Hers.
Only Hers!
Feeling: Very Good.
Serenity.
Pure.

Leaving.
Pulling Away.
Withdrawal.
Feeling:
Hurts.
Stop.
Feeling.

Sorry if this letter makes you feel gray,
I'm happy that I can make someone's day,
I'm not into the way you like to sway,
We can be brothers but bro, I'm not gay.
I have always been the one to obey,
Morales were developed by my padre,
Religion from Monday until Sunday,
Suddenly he became a divorcee,
Ever since then I've been asexual,
Hopefully my words are effectual,
I hope my response is consensual,
I hope that this poem was effectual.

I tell my friend to stay strong,
Then I walk off a cliff,
I take a hit off my ****,
As I'm vertically adrift,
People ask me what's wrong,
But my stiff upper lip,
Sings a certain type of song,
That goes something like this:

I am okay,
I'm not in pain,
I don't feel like I'm slowly going insane.
I'm not in love with a girl that won't dare say my name.
I'm not ugly and disgusting and full of shame,
And contemplate suicide every single day,
Avoiding all people, the straight and the gay,
Because of my ******* an-xie-ty,
So stop asking me questions and leave me be.

I'll wander around on these empty streets,
Making use of my mind, my music, and these beats.

Going to a place that's fairly secure,
Ongoing suffering so I wish I were,
In front of a car that happened to swerve,
Nicely triggering all of my nerves,
Guess in the end that's what I deserved.

Thank you for trying,
Over my dead body.

Flying off a roof and then I'm landing,
Under a car that's death demanding,
Crushed and unconciousness ever expanding,
Killed off cause that's what Satan was planning,
In the kingdom of God where they were busy banning,
Nuns not ******* while Peyton Manning,
Grabs Bradys *****, not a sin but enchanting.

**** me please,
I'll beg and I'll plead,
Lie down here with me,
Lost, but I'm free.

My time is gone,
You must live on,
Say that you're strong,
Each of you belong,
Life isn't long,
For this is my song.

I'm constantly worrying that she might go off a scurrying to maybe light a **** with a boy at the dead of night I want it to stop but she has her rights.

She even said that she wants it to stop every ******* date ends up in a flop and heartache is the only thing she cops off the top off all celebrity props.

I want to end this and listen to music, I'm not feeling this, but she's feeling his ****, I'm laying here in bed feeling even more sick, after 50 pills gave my heart a jump kick. Jump start, jump back, pulled apart, from the crack, torn in half, called it all, from the start, I've been mauled, been attacked, filled my cart, with a stack, of true love, so my heart, will rise above, your petty ****, fill this pit, with my grit, but your fake skit, completely outweighs it.

It makes sense on a stupid level, when your brains made of ******* metal, spilling tea out the mouth like a kettle, moving down south so you can meddle, with the floor, and maybe pour, the last bit of essence out of your core, standing back up is to much of a chore, I'm done with this **** so walk out the ******* door.

I love you. I can't stand by and watch you torturing yourself. It's like watching someone I love **** another person I love. The only viable options would be to stop them from killing eachother or separate from them entirely because there is no reason to just stand by and watch... or is there?

You're saying this entire time I could've been her lover. But now I have to rhyme about the fact she calls me brother and every now and then she refers to herself as mother. I have to play the close family role which works because I love her. Now when she walks by me I feel the need to duck and cover so I dont have to see her with her significant other and this significant other, she also calls him brother. And I thought I was special. Oh to hell with it, **** her. This ***** is a vacuum. Her occupation is a sucker. She likes visiting her abusive ex that once struck her over the head and then had the ***** to text both her parents numbers talking lies about how much she had made him suffer. Wait... stop a minute... let me buffer.... I'm confused. You obviously understand the discomfort yet you won't stop the constant way you seem to mutter that everything is fine and then you cut undercover. In the past you have said that you have recovered. That's obviously not the case because you've discovered knives that cut things much tougher than butter. I really want to help you, do you not understand every word that I utter. I'm typing this **** out so I know I didn't stutter. I want you to know that you're the greatest hugger and the best worst friend that could attach to a lover.

Right now, I feel like admitting,
From the knowledge I feel distant,
Is it cause my brains reached its limit,
Or cause my skins a different pigment,
Either way, since I was a little baby infant,
I've seen relationships aren't always sufficient,
But I didn't know this whole time I was spitting,
That other people can be so malignant,
Had a friend tell me another friend was amazing,
This another friend was in the middle of dating,
And for some reason he was getting all the praising,
Because he said, "A relationship ain't worth breaking.",
See now, they all know that a man like this is rare,
But apparently, I was not aware,
That it's not normal to be loyal,
It's normal to put a heart in an oven and broil,
It till' there's nothing left to love,
Think wisely when push comes to shove,
That's what they told me,
Your heart will break, but there's a lot of fish in the sea,
Most of the fish are sharks and poisonous,
And some of them leave their marks on us,
Whether these marks are good or bad,
Or if they leave us happy or sad,
Or if they stick with us,
And don't put up a fuss,
But I guess it doesn't usually turn out that way,
Cause most of these hoes been led astray,
The men, the women, the straight, the gay,
They will all steal your love and just play,
Like it's a game of musical chairs,
Slowly running out of love till' no one cares,
The broken are hard to heal, yeah, some pretty tough repairs,
So just keep working, seal up all the cracks and the tears,
Juice Wrld said that all girls are the same,
And I was blaming myself, man I feel insane,
I guess I know now that commitment is rare,
But people like us will continue to play fair,
And we will never stop continuing to care,
Cause we know that there should only be a pair,
Of lovely humans that don't stop the love,
And continue to raise each other above,
The mountains, the clouds, the moon, the stars,
But I'll be alone in my own twisted bars,
You're all on earth, but I'm out on mars,
You easily get yours, but we can't get ours,
Cause ours is a form of love that's the rarest,
It includes things like promise and marriage,
Honestly the things that I truly cherish,
But if you're just going to be careless,
Then get the hell out and perish,
I'm a libra so of course I want fairness,
Now I'm going back to my emo rap,
So, you all better cut the crap,
Cause you're all about to get slapped,
If you think love is something that can be scrapped.

I feel like I have been struck with insanity,
Not worrying about what should make me worry,
Worrying about crumbs that just spilled under my seat,
When my sister just dropped and stabbed a knife in her feet,
Heartbreak all on top of a migraine and this **** pain,
Won't become numb because my overactive mainframe,
Keeps running at the speed of light over sound,
And now other ******* people are inbound,
They won't stop yelling and bickering about useless topics,
They speak quicker and I'm trying to get lost in the tropics,
The solitude where I might be able to find peace,
Probably not cause fantasies remove the fixed ease,
That never seems to come to me,
Even rarely when I can flee,
Thoughts get mixed with a lack of glee,
Lost in em' till' I'm ******* lost at sea,
At the same time I'm 8 miles up a tree,
My brains files are scattered and blowing free,
I do not belong in this family,
Redneck dad and my mother, Cherokee,
I'm just an emo *****, I'm unsightly,
So, "Get The **** Out!", I say politey,
When I am thinking it in its worst possible form,
Stay in bed, move out, but **** hotels and dorms,
Even though that is the only **** I can afford,
Minus college cause no scholarship was ever scored,
These are some ways to find isolation,
Maybe a little mental vacation,
Even though it's in the same location,
That started my depressive sensations,
So I'll stumble in my sadness,
While I'm lost in my mind palace,
I am done chasing that dumb rabbit,
I'll leave that to people like Alice,
He keeps checking the clock and will grab it,
Till' it falls, cracked on the ground and stabbed in,
His toes and he starts bleeding,
Other memories fleeting,
Bad memories that are gone now,
Time hurt and healed the rabbit, wow,
I just got to wait some more,
And avoid anymore ******,
Snooping around tryna' get some,
This rap was dumb and I'm done.

I figured out why I have depression,
I figured this is what I should mention,
I get depressed when others feel down,
Whether they're yellow, white, red, or brown,
I feel as if I need to make them happy,
When I'm around them I start to feel sappy,
Even if they cover up with fake emotion,
I still show them my special kind of devotion,
There is only three things I should've said,
That come from everything I sweat and bled,
I love you,

I had one place where the world revolved around me,
A transparent building I named poetry,
Few people could actually see through the thick glass,
Aware of meaning, aware of reality,
The glass will slowly thin out as the days go on,
Leaking more emotions and thoughts that should be gone,
It's okay, I don't care, I tell myself, always,
You're a queen deserving happiness, I'm a ******* pawn,
That will step back and stop all outlets,
And build up and break down my regrets,
Until my fuse hits the wire,
It has already caught fire,
See, I'm an okay liar,
Also, I'm an okay bomb,
Ticking with a fuse and wires being cut,
And blowing on the fire like that is what,
Will make everything stop but accepting,
Fate is all I can do in this setting,
Sure, I know you're not dumb but I am,
Thinking you couldn't see through these *******,
Clear *** walls that are starting to disgust me,
All I ever wanted was your happiness, trust me.

The roses burn black,
The violets are dead,
This **** girl,
Won't get out of my head.
I hit the sack,
Out in the shed,
No roof, so the stars,
Reflect off my bed.
My heart has a crack,
But only the one,
The roses burn black,
While the heart goes numb.

I feel a mad rush of violence soar,
Throughout my veins and out my pores,
I feel things I know not what for,
A battle inside of myself to restore,
A stable mentality or else I'm done for,
My inner self is becoming a civil war,
This shall last forever no nevermore,
Bringing what's inside into the outdoor.

The path to the shed completely untouched,
Her footprints still engraved in the soot,
The best possible privacy, although it wasn't much,
Unto this day, those walls stay put.
The blanket remained splayed on the wobbly table,
Candles for wax play set off to the side,
Glorious memories and unwanted fables,
Collect in the walls, in the walls they hide.

Undeniably the greatest annoyance in my perceivable existence,
Someone take him by the arm cause he's gonna need some assistance,
When he figures out he can't resist this way I spit fire with supersonic consistence,
I would go full force on him, but his dad does that enough,
I'm talking 'bout when he gets beat with the belt, and the **** stuff,
He sits in his depression on his phone, waiting for a friend to holla,
Or when his dad leaves and he's all alone, he moans, getting licked on his **** by his dog Nala,
Eventually he meets up with his inferior faggoty friend who's hair is **** brown and reddish,
Then they be off ******* each other's toes cause his whole God awful *******,
I almost killed him once, on a four wheeler, driving full throttle,
He almost killed himself once, getting beat after taking a **** in a shampoo bottle,
His abuse complex with his dad isn't escapable,
So he attempts to take his anger out on the masses,
Although he was properly educated and capable,
In high school, he ended up taking four special ed classes,
In the special ed wing,
I'd catch him talking to some girls,
He called "pretty things",
And he took the hand of my world,
Yes, tried a hand at my girl,
So I took a right swing,
At his jaw and he swirled,
Back to his thotty boys,
And makeup-caked girls,
This bisexual *****,
Has another thing coming,
If he thinks he's *******,
For my ***,
Cause the only time I finish last in this world,
Is when I'm on top of MY girl, *******.

People can try,
Then they can fail,
When people die,
They will turn pale,
The higher you climb,
The harder it hails,
Words fill my rhyme,
Wind fills my sails.

Alliteration is commonly the key,
To all successful sounding poetry,
Successful sounds are strenuous to seize,
But I can ensnare the melody with ease,
Emotions are the essential element to extract,
From people probing unplumbed parts of perceptive apprehension,
Compassing county's that are charred, crumbled and cracked,
Living lives loaded with languishing litter and interminable tension.

I go home to an empty room,
And stare at the white wall,
Reminds me of the recess kids,
That pick on me when we play ball,
Waking up to eternal doom,
Then out of bed I crawl,
There's just way to many stresses,
So I just hide away and stall,
Eventually school starts way to soon,
Feeling worthless and small,
Always having second guesses,
It's just a constant inner brawl.

What makes me mad,
To see my dad,
Choose escape over me,
Next thing you know,
You see them go,
Smoking another tree.

Getting drunk,
Cause your life stunk,
So depression is the key,
To getting high,
To say goodbye,
To escape reality.

All in all,
I just stall,
And wait for the days to pass,
Multitudes,
That's a mood,
Until I finally crash.

But I am happy,
The world is sappy,
I hope I can escape,
Not through all the drugs,
Through laughter and hugs,
The truth is what I'll take.

Fake happiness fills the air,
Decide to take charge and care,
Of your reality day by day,
May joy and happiness come your way.

You see them together,
You wish she had it better,
But he treats her like cold weather,
Tryna' avoid her altogether,
But she's so clingy,
Because that's the only man she wants,
But his feelings are mini,
And you hate his nonchalance,
You need her to understand,
That you would be a better man,
And that you're her biggest fan,
But then she began,
To see herself as ugly,
No attention from her boyfriend,
This **** ain't funny,
So you buy her a puppy,
But then you're unlucky,
Before you give it to her,
She takes her own life,
Sliced her vein with a knife,
In the night,
Feelings ignite,
And you feel like you might,
Scream and fight,
Her boyfriend but you're polite,
But at the same time you're dynamite,
The boyfriend is just wide eyed for a second,
When he hears the news but then he's beckoned,
Over to another girl then politeness concludes,
Your body goes numb,
Your brain gets dumb,
Eyes fade out everyone,
Except for the one,
Who has killed your precious,
You take something out of the crevice,
Of the jacket that you possess,
You take out a knife time to transgress,
You stab it into his stupid flesh,
That let her die and you continue to press,
For some reason you still don't feel success,
You still feel the anger followed by stress,
You pass out and wake up to a red light,
Then it's blue and your blinded cause its so bright,
Covered in blood boy that's a sight,
To the police they though you died,
Now you want to you even tried,
To **** yourself cause there's no reason to live,
Your girl is dead and you just killed a kid,
The police stop you before you have a chance,
Man you wouldn't believe the circumstance,
Out of your blurry vision,
You see her standing there with him,
The man you just stabbed,
On a table all wrapped,
Hugging on his mother and dad,
Now you're confused and you don't understand,
You thought she had died you thought she was bagged,
You must've heard news about the wrong person *******,
As you're hauled off to jail,
Your face turns pail,
Your off on a trail,
Where feelings curtail,
Now there's no chance to prevail,
As you exhale you feel that's your final breath,
You successfully stabbed yourself right in the chest,
Your worries have finally been put to rest,
You will surely be Satan's next guest,
On you're grave it says, "Died During Arrest".

She ain’t in Paris yet, yet I’ve perished. Let these words entrap you in a nervous sweat. No, I’m not upset. No, not even worried. Forgot all past regrets. All the past has been buried. She’s my loyal girl and I’m hella lucky. I run my hands through her curls as she asks, “Will you **** me?” In the past I’ve written love, but tonight’s a different story. I’m talking bout’ lust, like when you’re feeling *****. Like when you wanna pin their cute little arms down on the bed and send your best regards straight through your **** and out into their *****, getting caught up in the glory, whether shaved or bushy... Or she’s hoppin’ on the **** and I’m holding that ***. I’m tryna’ hold her steady but she wants to go fast. It’s the tease that I’m after. I want to make her want it. We were taking a shower. She had the soap and then she dropped it. Went in from behind. She looked back all surprised. Mouth wide open and tears in her eyes. Faster, in and out. She came seven times. After four hours, I had to draw the line. Next thing you know, we are out eating at a fancy dinner. Not enough seating. I have my baby sit nicely on my lap. Lucky me, it’s a skirt. So close to the gap. Move over ******* and unzip my jeans. She has no idea that I’ve just set the scene. As the waiter comes by and asks for our order,
I tease her a bit. Rub my **** around the border. My girl scoots an inch in the right direction. The perfect accident. Not even my intention. Now I’m six inches deep and she accidentally moans. Her parents didn’t hear her. They were busy on the phone. Busy with adulting. Yeah, some important ****. Not important as my girl falling on my ****. Later that night, we get back home. I sit on the sofa and she sits on the throne. The throne is my **** and my **** is hard. Her parents are with some dogs out in the yard. Now she’s wearing shorts, so I slip off my pants.
Okay, I’m done lusting, cause my baby is in France. I miss her so much. I’m done with the lust. Back to the love. The lust is not a must. Tomorrow I write love and every other day I’ll show my appreciation in quite a lovely way.

I’m sorry I’m depressed,
I haven’t confessed,
My love for any other girl,
In this God forsaken world,
So the simple fact,
That I told you I love you,
Simply didn’t lack,
The truth and its virtues.

I’m sorry I’m always jealous,
When I came to earth, they didn’t tell us,
That it would be this hard,
At least all the cards,
That life has dealt me,
And I know your cards as well,
Has made us pay a bitter fee,
That feels like a living hell.

I’m sorry I’m so big,
My ego is a hungry pig,
Searching for a mouthful,
Of praise which is doubtful,
When I’m too cocky,
And oh, another thing, while I’m thinking and sitting,
I’m sorry my ****’s stocky,
And oftentimes has trouble fitting.

When I'm bored, I get depressed. No motivation, so the stress stockpiles in a mess like loose files or a test that I never studied for cause I'm way to busy thinking about a ***** and that one time we smoked a blunt. Now she's dizzy. Smoke some more. Feel her ****. That ****'s drippy. Kiss me twice. Falls out the door. Kinda tipsy. Never came back. Said she loves me, then she attacked. This isn't healthy. Hurt my heart and mentally pulled me apart piece by piece.

She’s at a friends house getting high,
She calls me, I answer, and say goodbye,
Cause she broke her word, yeah, she had lied,
In my heart I had held so much pride,
For my baby girl, but now it’s gone,
Now she disappoints from noon to dawn,
Smoking here to there, to house to lawn,
Makes me shrivel up and lose my brawn,
Makes all my bones ache,
And I’m not even sure why,
I just know that it makes,
Me feel sad and I cry,
Maybe it’s because it’s slowly killing her,
And I want her forever, forever bringing her,
To a healthy place where we live long lives together,
Maybe we can get married, I’ll ask her to be my wife,
But not at this pace, with this hurt in my heart,
The feeling that makes me want to tear myself apart,
Piece by piece, analyzing each segment,
Figure out why it hurts so I can maybe prevent,
Any more pain, cause this **** ******* *****,
Soon she’ll probably leave me for some deluxe,
Pink *****, marijuana, or coffee,
I’m lucky I have her, cause this love is not free,
It comes at a cost of great pain and suffrage,
Not a tax or insurance, no medical coverage,
A fear and worry that something bad will happen,
I’m sad and I’m done with this rap... so I’m going back to nappin’.

I hate to wake up to eight ton weights,
A chest plate pressed up against my face,
Eyes dart and heart race like you've been chased,
For days in a gaze that shows your amazed,
Deemed this was depression detaining me,
Deliberately dozing to escape memory,
But right off the bat it's a panic attack,
Maturity rewinds and minds all off track,
Rational depersonalization,
Constant nauseous dizzying rotation,
Locate lower lacerations that bled,
Flop to the floor and felicitations, you're dead.

Oh, I was thinking about killing myself,
Do you mind,
And putting my feelings up on a shelf,
And your blind,
When it comes to literally anyone else,
Let's rewind,
Back to before my heart would regularly melt,
I was fine,
But what's different from what I feel and I felt,
It's bout' time,
I unlock my brain and see what's locked in the vault,
It's not my fault,
But I need to blame someone for this mental assault.

So I'm pulled to the broken,
Because the fixed are just fine,
When these words are spoken,
My mental health declines,
Now I think I'm approaching,
The end of the line.

I try to block out the negative parts of you I don’t want to exist,
But the longer I exist with you the longer they persist,
And soon instead of saying, “I love you” and “I sincerely miss”,
I’ll only be in the relationship for the cuddles and the kiss.
I really hope it doesn’t come to this,
Just the thought removes my bliss,
And my sadness grows like my cyst,
On my ****, but please continue, I insist.
Continue the love that you give to me,
I’ll accept all parts of you regardless the fee,
You’re more than a snack, you’re my little treat,
You’re more than my world, you’re all I want to perceive.
You’re my universe, my everything, my all,
You’re the biggest part of my life, not standing tall,
Short and cute, you are, like your hair in the breeze,
I love you, please don’t leave me, you got me on my knees.

I beg of you,
Don’t leave,
For if you left,
I wouldn’t be myself,
I would flee,
Yet here I am,
In the same spot,
In the same lot,
With the same thoughts,
Knowing this would happen,
Sadly, I’ve been caught,
In loves powerful grasp,
Loves top-notch trap,
I don’t want to leave,
This prison cell,
Although I plead,
I will not yell,
For I want to be,
With you forever...
Please don’t leave.

Sure *****, I got a nice six inch thick ****,
But I'll *** as fast as I rap this simple arithmetic.
Sure, I seem rather strong and I look toned,
But I'm slowly dying from a great lack of meat on these bones.
Sure, in school I have five A's and a B,
But I'm ******* crazy, constantly transpiring insanity.
Sure, suicide failed once and I'm still alive,
But I'm still in love with a ***** that won't look me in the eyes.
Sure I am lonely 23/7,
But during that one extra hour, it kind of feels like heaven,
Cause that dumb ***** might be in the same room,
And her bright luminescence will always liberate my gloom.

Met them with no tears,
But I need to see them more,
First time in ten years,
We're all broken to the core,
That makes four of us,
We have to stick together,
That's just it, we must,
We need to make things better,
I love them deeply,
And it's always been that way,
Couldn't see freely,
Just one hundred miles away,
They say the past is in the past,
But the past can not be erased,
That's why I wear this mental cast,
And swallow this metallic taste.

There will be days when the sun brightly shines,
The morning birds chirping,
And your beauty to blind,
My sight upon waking at a late time.
There will be days when we sleep in till’ noon,
Not busy and not stressed,
Maybe nothing to do,
You might sleep talk and I’ll say, “I love you.”
There will be days when I cook you breakfast,
Bring the food to our bed,
Back to our little nest,
And give forehead kisses upon request.
There will be days when we have the day off,
We might watch a movie,
About couples that scoff,
In funny ways, while I rub out the soft.

But there will be nights when you’re feeling cold,
Not wanting to live,
Then of course I’ll give,
A blanket, a smile, and a hand to hold.
There will be nights where you’ll question your worth,
You will keep asking why,
You’ve been put on this earth,
I’ll shrink your worries, from ocean to firth.
There will be nights when the stars don’t sparkle,
The dark can be scary,
But I’ll have strawberries,
So many dipped in chocolate and caramel.
There will be nights when the world is ending,
And I will be lending,
My love your way, spending,
The last few moments of the impending,
Doom that we’re in mentally ascending,
While the pretenders are out pretending,
Attending an unending fending for themselves,
When all I can think of is your well-being and health,
I will hold your head close to my chest,
I will rub your back to steady your breath,
I will whisper, “Baby, everything will be fine,”
Then we’ll be back in our bed like time said, “Rewind!”,
You’ll whimper and pout, sure you’ll be sad,
I mean, look around… this **** is bad,
But if you’re in my arms and you choose to squeeze tighter,
Then whatever the setting, you’ll make the scene brighter.

Some mornings, you’ll wake, and you’ll be in Venice,
And I will be quite far,
5,400 miles away,
But no matter how far away you are,
My love will extend to the furthest of reaches,
My lovely scone that’s full of peaches,
Don’t let the distance make your love for me hazy,
Only one more week till’ I see you again, baby.

Sharing is caring. Sharing love is daring. So is staring into the eyes of the one you love. Blaring heartbeat, whether girls or guys, below or above the thighs determines lust or love. Either way gets you high flying like a dove when I try to contemplate whether it's lie or love. Love repeated and used to rhyme with itself, cause each love is different, like you're a **** or ****, or no mom or no dad, no parents to teach you about the love you never had, here comes the guilt, tho you did nothing bad, the word "sorry" was spilt, out the mouth now I'm mad, put my mind at a tilt... confusion. Anxious love intrusion, I can feel our bodies fusing, must be looking for a bruising, she really had that clever rusing, smoked a blunt, then I'm puking, hole in one, not trying punt, so she's accusing me of cheating, like I would see someone else, while shes bleeding cause she fell, so deep in love, and always needing, a push or a shove, so there's receding instead of a clingy human melting onto me, is this really love?

She says soon. Soon you're mine for keeps. Soon, I'll remove your clothes. Soon, I'll kiss your cheeks. Soon, I'll hold you close. Soon I'll show you love. Soon I'll sleep with you. And then we'll raise above, that feeling we once knew. That feeling that brought us pain, that made us want to die. Crying in the rain while we stand and fantasize. Fantasize about things that seem impossible to get, but now we have these things, so why is there a pit in my stomach, when we are both so attuned. It might be because, she keeps saying soon...

I think that I've addressed that I'm obsessed in forty-three other heartfelt messes. Poetry falling apart at its best is completely normal when I'm loading my cart with formal vests to find confidence in the turmoil. Tinfoil type superstition is envisioned when smoking burnt coil above ripe ****** cakes, that's what it takes when push comes to shove, **** this kush, **** this fake love. Spilling out of every teens pores, killing off through peen spores in teen ******, essence lost from the core with no reward, guessing cost is fourscore then you're out the door. ****, it's a chore living out the lore of a giver and a saint freezing in a river with fresh paint running down the face. River of life and black paint that blinds, giver of strife, it's whack, no matter what the time. Whether you're drunk out of your mind or ******* high, the paint is soon to dry over your eyes and you'll be living blind. Stick your face in the water, it's so ******* simple. Sure, it might be cold on your cracked skin wrinkles. The solution is always right in front of your face. You just got to look for it before it's too late.

Raging on the internet about things that don't matter,
Trying to get mingled into the great party chatter,
Who's on the other side a chef or karate master,
Whoever it is no it won't end with hearty laughter,
About to blow up the web ending up in disaster,
Typing keys fingers on fire but I need to type faster,
I'll pound on this board until my bones end up all shattered,
You're about to see what I've prepared on this bare platter,
I sit down at a dinner table but that's all after,
I step back to real life into this polluted pasture,
But what the heck's wrong; probably the under-cooked batter,
Everything is wrong because everything can be cancer,
Planting anger to your heart cause' I'm a feeling planter,
Flip over the table and pull out a rusty dagger,
Stab it in your brain pull out mainframe cause I'm a hacker,
You've tried to run away but i stuck you with a tracker,
Did I really leave or am I back at the adapter,
It's been whole entire hours and I still haven't even scampered,
What is real and important I don't know I've been fractured,
I better call my wife over for my meal and ask her,
When was the last time we went... wait I'm alone and sadder,
The computer ****** me away there goes my real stature,
I fall on my hands to the ground to clutter and clamber,
Head first into a wall but I ain't no Green Bay Packer,
I'm knocked out fast put in hospital then I remember,
She told me computer or her but I gave no answer,
I need to talk to her not in this setting or manner,
Quick pain followed by a flatline I've sadly been captured.

I’ve got a cute girlfriend and *** is a norm,
But depression rolls in like an impeding storm,
Freezing my body in a cool sense of warm,
A mediocre stasis that has my life torn,
Torn T-shirts that I haven’t even worn,
Here I am wishing that I was never born,
Two beef sausages and a side of corn,
As I sit, no pants, and the TV playing ****,
Basically, my life is pretty **** normal,
Not casual, yet a lot less formal,
Soon I’ll be done, thank God I’m not immortal,
Please no heaven or hell, just a portal,
Straight to the abyss of absolute nothing,
No feeling or emptiness or sensual touching,
I long for this now, because I am not rushing,
Towards deaths pleasant hold that I mistook for hugging,
A sharp grasp death has, but only for a second,
For pain is only ever briefly beckoned,
In the grand scheme of earth and its myths and its legends,
And its terrors and its faults and its teachers and its lessons,
I guess I should try and move and feel,
Step away from addiction and eat my meal,
I am here now and all of this is real,
Yet I will continue to keep emotions concealed,
Cause I know that no one wants to deal,
With my mental states and possible death,
That may come to be just like the rest,
Of other teens that gave up their life,
Cause they couldn’t handle the emotional strife,
I put on an act, a face, a mask,
And go on with my boring-*** menial tasks. /:

I've been passionate about our intimate sessions,
But you have been the catalyst to my depression,
Cause I was inadequate and you were my obsession,
You came to my door and opened without knocking,
There appeared a ***** that wouldn't stop talking,
I supplied a heart but my love you were robbing,
So get the **** out and drink your beer quicker,
Nobody wants your Rainier or your hard liquor,
Rot away faster than a queer in Iraq,
And by the way *****, don't ever come back.

I smell like ****,
After two days without a shower,
Here I sit,
With my boredom like a tower,
Towering above me,
No matter what the setting,
I wish I was clean,
I should clean my bedding,
I should mow the lawn,
I should wack the weeds,
I think I’ve lost my brawn,
Now I’ve come to perceive,
The outer problems,
With the inner,
If I clean up,
I’ll be a winner,
I’ll feel good,
I’ll eat again,
All that food,
Spilling over my chin,
Cause it’s been too long,
And I’m eating too fast,
I know this is wrong,
But I can make it last,
By telling them it’s religious,
And I have to go a week,
And then a week more,
But my mom is superstitious,
I have to clean up one side,
To get the other side,
All cleaned up,
So I can continue this ride,
This roller coaster,
Taking me through life,
But there’s technical difficulties,
Halting me at strife,
I wanna get past it,
So I called the engineer,
But I fear,
I can’t fix this,
And I’ll never clear,
Life successfully,
I know demise is near,
But hopefully,
I’ll get help from my peers.

I remember the day I came to meet you for the first time in early August,
I remember being invited back at least once every week for two and a half months,
I remember the special look you gave me and what it meant,
I remember how you sought human contact around me and how you acted henceforth,
I remember the awkward sliding beneath my legs and how it became a norm,
I remember the unrelenting clinginess that I so desired,
I remember you grabbing me by the arm and taking me somewhere nobody could find us,
I remember the moistness of your lips against mine,
I remember the full weight of your body on mine as you nestled against me,
I remember the regret you felt,
I remember the regret i felt once I perceived your shame,
I remember the persistent, yet subtle avoidance,
And I still come across your circumvention resulting in mass amounts of pain to this day.

I've been floating through life in the middle of the ocean,
Looking for other fish while I'm questioning my notions,
I find myself a pink fish that starts to play with my emotions,
These waves used to be calm but now they're causing commotion,
Intimate, then not,
Dedicate my thoughts,
To a furry thot,
That hasn't yet caught,
The fact that I am in love,
With her and raise her above,
The tide of loneliness to breathe,
Why is it so hard to perceive.

The pink fish darkened to red,
Then slit her wrists till they bled,
Stained with the thought of being ugly,
But she's beautiful and snuggly,
And kind and spreads good vibes,
But she tells herself these lies,
That leads to depression,
And sometimes aggression,
Whether she's conscious of the way she makes me feel or not,
I'll deal with things the same way, living out the plot.

For those that don't understand social cues,
And party invites are quickly refused,
Cause life is boring so you'd rather snooze,
Now get back into your own ******* shoes,
You have been living in everybody else's,
Seeing the environment from their perspectives,
This is just proof that all our minds are defective,
Lets focus on ourselves, that's the main objective,
Indulge in the sobriety,
Being woke and insanity,
Away with the anxiety,
Away with this dreadful disease,
You say super power? ***** please,
Shut this part down and I'm at ease.

I love you, but I want you to die. But if you killed yourself, I would cry. Then I would **** myself in the blink of an eye. I hate how easily you control my life. You are the magnet that draws the knife to the skin. Draws my hands to the ultimate sin. Draws you out to look like a *****. Get out of my head, walk out the door. Stop caring for mine and I'll stop caring for yours... hopefully... then I'll pain no more.

The 168,
Departed late,
A character trait,
Of public transit,
So here I sit,
On this black bench,
In the hot hot sun,
The bus threw a wrench,
Into my fun,
The longer I wait,
The more I think,
The bus won’t come,
Within the next blink,
This is my life,
Without a car,
Without a wife,
I’m going far,
With my girlfriend,
After I mend,
Our broken understandings,
And premarital demandings,
Now the bus is here,
And I bust a rhyme,
And I bus around,
From time to time,
I have to go,
But I’ll be back,
Don’t do drugs kids,
Stay away from crack.

She’s the butter, I’m the toast,
She’s hot, she melts, she gets real close,
She sits on my lap and I grab her ****,
I squeeze and pull closer, my little ****,
She’s feeling my **** through my pants,
Not the ideal circumstance,
But we’re in public so it’s better this way,
Later in privacy, I’ll make her day,
She pulls closer till’ there’s no length between,
Her soft soaking ***** and my rock-hard peen,
Every ******, there’s a moan, every moan, there’s a kiss,
Through skin and through bone, all I feel is bliss,
I feel this way because I’m so close to my baby,
My good good girl, my little lady,
I am all hers and she is all mine,
Whatever the setting, she is looking fine,
Whether 3 AM or 10 at night,
Her **** luminescence won’t stop shining bright,
She’s so **** cute that sometimes it scares me,
I’m afraid that there will be a guy that stops and just glares deep,
Into her cleavage or at her nice round ***,
But she assured me she’s mine, so I know she will pass,
Up any other guy that might want a taste,
Of her savory sopping, perfect ***** paste,
I will feed her and **** her,
And love her and tuck her,
Into bed at night with a goodnight kiss,
As I leave the room, I tell her I miss,
Her already and then she will pout,
So I come back inside and let a load out,
Well, a load, or two, or three, or seven,
Cause I want to make my presence feel like heaven,
Cause when I’m with her, it’s heavenly all right,
A ******, a scratch, a kiss, a bite,
After we both can’t take anymore,
I fall asleep atop my little *****,
We both start to dream as we hold each other close,
Close enough to be one... one buttered toast.