Yes,
I was in love.
But not with you.
I was in love
with the
moments
and the
memories.
I was feeding
off an
ego
of false hope
and
games;
games that
haunted me
and
made me
want
more than
you truly
deserved.

If     only                      you  knew

                 how         much

       your                                         presence

grew
                           on                   me.


                                                    If    
                                   only
  
you knew

                               how      the          world            was

pushing                  ­  
                             against

                  me.

Overflowing tears fill her eyes,
as doubt fills inside her mind.
She is overwhelmed and confused,
she is exhausted and tired of being bruised.
However, one things for sure.
She will no longer let her demons get the best of her.
She will no longer stand for a life full of misery and torment.
For she’s now had a taste of pure freedom and forgiveness.
As she is now following her dreams.
Everything is falling into place,
and once again;
she does not want to lose how beautiful her life has become.

Being honest can either go two ways.
You can have everything,
or you can have nothing at all.

I lie here awake at night.
Thinking.
Dreaming.
Believing.

I will never be the same person I once was.
But I can only hope, that I will become the person I want to be.
The person I’m meant to be.
For I have escaped.

And what’s that you ask?
What have I escaped?
You will only know through the truths I’ve encountered.
For I, will no longer give in.

I fear lies.
entitlements,
and envy.

For I don’t want to mistake your promises for prophecies that will never exist.
You destroyed me.
Your destruction compelled me into believing that there was better.
And that the pain would end.
But it didn’t.
It grew stronger.
And so, I grew stronger too.

But I did from you.
I ran so fast, that I no longer allowed your lies to fool me.
You couldn’t keep up.
And you kept trying to take me away from everything I built.
From the new person I became.
And the new bond I had created within myself.

But it hurt at the same time.
And it wasn’t easy to destroy the walls I had built around everyone else.
For you were the only one I let in for months on end.

And eventually, they came tumbling down.
Because I had so much fight in me, that I believed I could escape you.

And for a minute, just a moment, I second guessed everything.
But I knew it was you drowning me, because you swallowed me whole.
For years.
And this was my year to thrive.

It was your mysterious mind that kept me thinking.
Constantly thinking.
I’d constantly wonder.
I’d constantly dream.
Of the things I wanted, and the things I didn’t.
What I wanted to say, and what I wished you had said.
Only I could know these things, only I could know the thoughts that ran through my head.

When you’re glowing,
it means you’re growing.

You cannot punish what has already been damaged.
You cannot scar what has already been broken.

One minute you’re indulging in life’s empty promises,
full of light with a touch a glow;
and suddenly,
you’ve been consumed by the paradox of your own mind;
crumbling;
deteriorating;
without a trace,
you’re dying.

It's better to be be alive and thriving, rather than being consumed, sick and dying.

You are the creator of your own story,
the writer of your own path.
Nobody can take this road for you,
as this is your journey.
This is your destination.

I will no longer let you burn the flames that rages inside my soul.
It craves success, it craves accomplishment and it craves to forget your existence.

My body's shaking,
my bones are breaking.

If only they could see,
the darkness that reaps inside my mind;
the ache in my heart that craves an everlasting escape.

Bitter sweet air fills my lungs with dignity and doubt all at once.
And although my head knows what needs to be done, the voice inside can no longer be contained.
It screams for a way out.

Wipe your tears pretty girl,
there is no worth in something,
that remains so subtle and disconnected.
You are worthy of so much more.

How can it be? She whispered in silence.
That I have allowed my body, my temple, to be denied of the very things in existence that it needs to survive.

If only he knew,
how it felt,
to look beneath the ashes,
to look beyond his corpse.

Two lost souls,
one aching for peace;
and one aching to find comfort in everything.

Starve your brain,
alluring pain.
An induction that never ends.
The longer you go,
there will be nothing but just a trail of hideous brittle bones.
As your body begins to deteriorate,
your body will eat your own organs and flesh.
Not so pretty anymore I see,
nothing but a disastrous mess.