Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
joyce knee Jun 2014
I forget how many kisses we've shared,
but I know how many more we'll share when I'm back.
joyce knee Jun 2014
I tear apart what I can
on the outside
because I am helpless
on the inside.
I tear and tear and tear
and pull and pull and pull
it's become routine
until you see the damage.
A spot of nothing.
A patch of proof
    what insignificant detail
    to no avail
    the damage is done

ignoring the larger matter at hand
strand by strand,
until i'm surrounded by piles
of hair and pieces of my heart

I don't even notice it anymore
my hand is drawn upwards
like a paperclip to a magnet-
totally helpless
completely thoughtless


I grab and pull and yank.
until i'm perfect-
At least for a moment..
until these insecurities mount again.
trichotillomania, trichster, pulling hair, insecurity, compulsion, pulling, perfect, insignificant, outside, inside, tear apart, strand, defeat
joyce knee Mar 2017
In trying to pick out a pattern in chaos,
I found neither symmetry nor direction.
It just was- and that's all it needed to be,
Unadulterated.
Speculation free.

No rhythm, no purpose, no agenda.
Just pure chaotic goodness straight from a sourceless chasm

To even attempt to decipher the endless web of desires,
of sorrows, or fleeting wonder- is to attempt to unravel the spider's web by speaking it. It is to sing down the moon.
It cannot be done- but there is no harm in trying.
joyce knee Jun 2014
i quake to my bones
to my very core
i shudder and crumble
ashes to ashes
dust to dust

overwhelmed,
consumed
filled to the brim
the very thought of me
Screams you

the slinking corridors hide my addictions,
afflictions,
illusions, distractions,
my convictions
the mirrors reflect nothing
i am weightless, drifting

*ashes to ashes, dust to dust
joyce knee Jun 2014
Sometimes forever lasts just
a second
a fraction of a second
An instant.

Sometimes forever lasts
Forever.

Forever is like
light that crumples into dust
at the slightest touch.

Forever is like
the echo that never quite reaches
the bottom of the pit.

Forever is like
rekindling fire from soggy wood,
what sparks that find their life
fly away the next instant.

Forever is just out of reach.
It'll come tomorrow


Forever is gone the moment
you reach it
*until the next time
forever, fire, lost, out of reach, spark, light, crumple, fly, dust, touch, echo, pit, tomorrow
joyce knee Jun 2014
My blood runs still
but i am faster than
the river we used to play in,
flinging mud and catching minnows

I can crouch lower than
that mole hole
we dug up, a labyrinth of tunnels and scattered rocks

I can spread myself flat
and become the horizon
shining from all directions
but you'll find me at none

Think twice, blink later
keeps your eyes open
and your mind open wider
now you see me, now you don't

*Catch me if you can
joyce knee May 2014
Our love can not exist.
      Echo's final plight.
           Ero's arrow askew.

Come find me beyond the
clouds.
I'll wait among the whispering
veils,
      among the weeping
willows.
i wait for you at the breaking of
dawn.
joyce knee May 2014
Let's traverse the universe together.
I'll navigate the hot air balloon
And you'll mark a trail,
dotted with echoing wonder and laughter
and cookie crumbs and popcorn kernels.
Let's traverse the universe together.
We can fly paper airplanes to all our friends
and only communicate through bottled messages
and shooting stars with wishes attached.
Let's traverse the universe together.
you can lean on me when you need to, and
you'll carry me when i trip on my laces
People will point and whisper that we're time travelers,
or just gone loony.
But we're just the good amount of sane-
80% crazy, 10% sense, and
10% who cares?- As long as we're together.
We'll eat drippy summer popsicles together-
the kind that're 50 cents and you need a friend to eat with.
We'll surf rooftops to look like we're badass- and we'll trip and add to the
piles of scrapes and memories.
We'll build a secret bunker-
password and secret-code included
with more canned food than we need, just in case zombies come after us.
We'll catch frogs and try to make then fight-
but they'll just hop away, back into the pond
And we'll follow suit and go experience the world with them.
It's too short to ask why,
let's just do, instead.
Let's traverse the universe
and write odes to each other, and get drunk
off of our own poetic justice.
Just you and me.
Cherry pits and broken fragments
of sticks that once served as swords
will litter the roads we once trod.
People will say:
the world is too much for us to handle.
Well they're wrong,
we're too much for the world to handle.
Let's traverse the universe together.
joyce knee Jun 2014
Change me, tame me,
make me who I'm not.

Stretch me, shrink me,
this is what we're taught.

Paint me, hide me,
until there's nothing left.

Maim me, shame me,
there you have it-
the world's easiest identity theft.
joyce knee Jun 2014
When I was traversing in the alternate universe,
I couldn't stop sneezing.
I couldn't handle newness.
No benedryll for adrenaline.
The stars paved sidewalks
Into the deep depths of a frozen sea,
Straying salt crystals freely,
Caught by the laughing galaxies,
Who played marbles with dreams.
My hands began to twitch
Like piano ballads being spun in the air.
And I when became whole;
I existed, finally.
written 12/15/12
joyce knee Dec 2014
I walk beneath the shadows of dragonflies and
in fields of stunted daisies
A witness to migrating monarchs
Whose voyage is eons from being completed,
when they only have 3 weeks at most to live.

I walk in pale fields of dusty sunbeams
and loud fading moonlight
Humming crickets play accompaniment
to solo pairs of feet, making way for still creeks
and large lily pads
to find a nice place to think.
joyce knee Jun 2014
I made 1000 pinwheels
instead of cranes
They were beacons And
wishes.
You lined your front yard  with them.
A dizzying kaleidoscope
lighting up your porch
So I would know when
I arrived back to you,
*home
joyce knee Jul 2014
I wish someone had told me
         that there was no poetic justice
         in hurting others.
joyce knee Jun 2014
I'm ravenous.
Famished.
Starving for your touch
        your sugar-sweet kisses
        your velvet-smooth embraces
Empty of affection
Feed me your love

*Fill me up
joyce knee Dec 2014
I inhale and hold my breath until I see black-
blank spots in my vision.
I exhale and release
beautiful, long-limbed clouds of smoke.
Shrouding my face, covering my eyes
blinding me to everything
but these pale tendrils
fluid and simple

curling wisps of smoke
scar the air
scar the silence
and

all secrets lie in smoke
if i could read it, i would know
the world.
joyce knee May 2014
You know it's time to talk
when the teapot empties
itself, forgotten steam
whistling in and out
our ears. Tell the truth, it's
all about the mist, crawling
in and out of our heads.
delicately painted china
empty of all but dregs
spilling out patterns
depicting surprises
unreadable to all but the blind
changing the addictions
to colorless schemes
of the bitter sweet taste
lingering on our tongues
uncurling to let out the truth.

— The End —