I have troubled thoughts
Something and somewhere
I thought I would never be
Nor consider, from what I used to be

Somewhere along the road
I got lost I have faith but I will find my way
With enough honey JD
I will be patient and wait

I will be so insanely pleased
After all this pain and loss,
My head will once again
Be held very high

I constantly lie to myself
And say I shouldn't
Think of you the way I do

And I shouldn't fall for someone
Who doesn't deserve my love.
But I always miss you the moment I leave you

I just want to fall asleep in your arms

Maybe this is why I cling on
The past is what I want
Maybe I missed my chance
After fate threw up together
And I ****** it up
...
Apparently its never too late
But it feels that way
More and more everyday
Maybe with some work and luck
Fate will once again throw you my way

Yesterday it took me 3 hours to calm down
It was one of our best dates
As I went to sleep and I clutched my pillow
I still felt your hand in mine

This is why I never got over you...
Yet I know I shouldn't get attached
But deep down I know I love you
And we don't have long till you go

This is why, I need to leave after you do
I can't stand living in this city
When I know I will never be happy here
Not without you by my side

Problem is we can't be right now
...
Because we would hold each other back
All your dreams and mine will have to do

I would never want to hold anyone back
From achieving their true potential
Being together would do that to you
If I love you I will let you go and not fight

Although it will **** me when we are apart
I will settle for the happiest I will ever be
For the time we have left
Yet I know it will be a beautiful goodbye

The firery walls are slowly caving in
Yet I am clinging on to every last second
In my head I am holding you and just
Slow dancing in this burning room

Miss someone?
..
Call
..

Want to see them?
..
Invite
..

Want to be heard?
..
Explain
..

Like something?
..
Say it
..

Want something?
..
Ask
..

Love someone?
..
Tell them
..

I saw you walk in
You didn't see me initially
My first thought
Straight to the bar

I didn't know what to say
I didn't know what to do
Then you saw me

That's when you ran off
Hand over your mouth
I know it was to cry

Later we gave each other a half smile
No words were needed
It was a look of
'I am OK'

Everyone I was with
Said it was time to leave
I felt I should say goodbye

As I said it
You went from being fine to not
As I said my goodbyes to others

I saw you ran passed me to go outside
We then spoke about everything
And it ended with us
Covered in rain

Every so often we all do
When though you try your hardest
We all sometimes fall off the path
Even when we are way out ahead
There is nothing you can do
But find yourself looking back

A part of me feels
I only write when I feel

When I have nothing
I am empty but seemingly content

As I write in this moment
I have no emotion for once

Perhaps I know
Something on the horizon is coming

Maybe I should take some time
To not force anymore but take it as it comes

If I tried harder back then
We wouldn't be here
I would be in love
And so would you
The words I wish you knew

So much time has passed
And all I have is regret
We don't have long till you leave
And this is what I long for

Me and you to burn
Brighter than the sun
With what time
We have left
Right now

When you leave so will I
Our sun will emplode
And it will swallow itself up
Slowly losing all its shine

And if will meet in a few years
The sun we left to die will explode
Amungst the night sky
And the remainder of the supernova lights
We shall share till we die

I just know it
...
The feeling of knowing
With no proof
That I am the man on the side

When you left
I died a hundred times
Hell was a place
That was too familiar for one

Knowing you would return
Never sure if it would be
As it was
After the hurt

Well ... guess who wants you again
All that hell I went through
I hate how I fall for you
Over and over

Currently I am drowning
I jumped in when I can't swim
I dug myself this hole
Life will be worse without you

Through lack of thought
Not being the person I was
When I met you
I have hurt you

I have become the person
I said I would never be
Sorry for all I have done
You really did, mean a lot to me

I can't remember the last time
I could sleep
Without the need to drink
To pass out
Without any thoughts
In my mind

Do I need an escape from reality
A new city?
Or a hobby? Or to get lost
In someone's eyes?
Life seems pretty bleak
Or maybe I just need sleep

Recently I have been alone
This time
I feel it
I hate it

I was lonely before
But comfortable, content
What is different
I have lost feelings or gained?

During the lonely hours
Do I miss you
Or the idea of you
I don't really want to know

All I want to do
If I can't have you,
Is run as far away
As I can,
Across the sea

I can't cope
When my heart stops
At the thought of you,
Even worse when someone
Who looks like you

You aren't the one for me
I knew that from the start
But then why does it hurt
When we are apart

Why did you
Leave without a goodbye
Why did you
Not reply
Why did you
Leave me here to die

Am not happy like this
When you don't reply
But when you do
This world is alright

Finally I am ready for the next
Too long it has taken
Yet I would settle
Is that loneliness or is it love?

Within a heartbeat I would return
Am I afraid of more pain
Or is it more?
Something we will never know

I am not the same
I was happy, alone but content
Waiting for something special
Then from no where
I found you and your little smile
Waiting for me to write

The fastest 3 months
I have been through
Was with you, in all my life
During that time I waited,
I found 'Someone Else'
Similar, yet better in hindsight

Still ... 3 more months I had to wait
6 months in total just to see her smile
And eventually we met
Something was right
Too much expectation
Not enough fight

This door closed abruptly
All of a sudden
My cousin was right
With this slamming door
To my damaged heart
A window opened

That 'Someone Else'
Reappeared
And showed me
What was right,
How to hold her hand
How to make it feel right

You then left me
Not your fault or mine
I missed you
The second your hand left mine
Sleep was hopeless
It couldn't escape my mind

3 months later
Which is this point in time
What a year it has been
A hurtful one which
Made me wait for 2 people
Who were never mine

I need to stop
Thinking the way I do
Wondering what do
I can't do with staying
In this blue

Of course I do
Your eyes,
Your hair,
And everything you do

Most of all
Your smile
Which you seem to hide
From clear view

What do I do
But for now
I will just say
.. I miss you ..

Lingering on the line between doubt and despair,
Always giving people more than they deserve,
Surrounded with love but do I ignore it?
Because it feels like it's hardly never there.

All you do is draw my in

Into more thoughts
More ambitions
More goals
More life

I wish us to be fine
I really do

But the reality is
I don't know what you want
And more importantly
What I want to do

We owe nothing to each other
No payment is due

All you do is draw me in

I question
From time to time
Do I?
Really want you

We owe nothing to each other
No payment is due

Wouldn't it been
Easier
If we never spoke
If I never met you

Most days its the last thing I'd want
Hours now pass without you in my mind
I question if this is better of worse
But today's not like most
You don't belong to me
But I still belong to you