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Jamie Aug 2014
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I want to kiss you under a thousand stars
As any thing less just won't do
But above all else
I miss you
Jamie Jan 2018
I'm glad you were there
We didn't last but
The times we had
I was glad
Jamie May 2014
I can't remember the last time
I could sleep
Without the need to drink
To pass out
Without any thoughts
In my mind

Do I need an escape from reality
A new city?
Or a hobby? Or to get lost
In someone's eyes?
Life seems pretty bleak
Or maybe I just need sleep
Jamie Jun 2013
Am I the only one
I adore

Say it to me
Say I never mattered
Jamie Aug 2018
After goodbyes were said and done.
Even in silence,
It's possible to still be in love.
Jamie Aug 2014
It's 1am and I am thinking
What does it mean
When you actually,
Achieve your dream

I have dreams
Some of which will
Never come true but,
What happens when they do

Currently I need a change of direction
A new lease for life
As for now,
I don't feel right

If I get what I want
Will it make me happy?
For a while yes,
But will it be forever?

I hope so
Because day by day
I know,
I am losing the fight
Jamie Aug 2014
Why do I still find it so hard
I think I am trying but is it enough?
I am treding on egg shells
After all of us there has been

I want to be the person
Who you can run to
But I know that job isn't mine,
It wouldn't be fair if I can't run to you

I want to see you upset
Just once or twice
So I can learn how to fix it
As I always want to be by your side
She was upset today and I didn't know what to do
Aim
Jamie Aug 2013
Aim
I will be happy
I must be happy
I will be where I deserve
I will meet the one I love

But for now I will be true
Stay with the path
And I will receive what is due

My pay check
My rent
And one day you
Jamie Jul 2013
I can't change
Even if I wanted to
I looked at you
Kissing you is all I wanted to do

In the end I was brave
But I took to long
I took a few shots
And ended up a fool
"My idea of flirting is looking at someone and hoping they are braver than me"
Jamie Aug 2014
Today I feel alone
But I know that

I am alone everyday

But on good days
I seem to forget
Not a great day
Jamie Jul 2020
First hangover post lockdown
I don't think I've ever felt more alone
Maybe it's the hangover or
Maybe I finally I can say it

I don't know if, I would have felt
Any different if we had lockdown together
But you gave me everything
And I took you for granted

Maybe I would have noticed it more
All the things you did,
How you gave have me your heart
And you were always there

I don't know where you are
How you are
But I hope your safe
I hope you are happy
Jamie Jul 2014
Yet another sleepless night
Everything going through my mind
I am slowly losing it
A matter of time before I snap

Nothing is right
Sleep,
Work,
Life.
Jamie May 2014
Recently I have been alone
This time
I feel it
I hate it

I was lonely before
But comfortable, content
What is different
I have lost feelings or gained?

During the lonely hours
Do I miss you
Or the idea of you
I don't really want to know
I need to be comfortable with being alone again.
Jamie Jan 2015
If it became true
I would be in bliss
Because I would then
Be with you
Jamie Aug 2016
I feel it too often,
I think too much,
Maybe I'm not as nice as I think,
Or maybe I am just too much.
Jamie Jun 2014
I think let you go
Over and over again
I occupy myself
With anything and everything
Then, the world is fine
I think of you

Time and time again
When I find other people
My favourite parts of them
Are the ones that remind me of you
Then, when I am alone
I think of you
I wish I could let go
Jamie Dec 2016
Hello, it's me,
Back again.

The feeling of,
not being enough.

What is it that has changed,
From 2 weeks ago?

Did this one also,
Just wake up to decide...

That I am not enough,
Like all the others?
That feeling is back
Jamie Sep 2017
I often think
About what I was
For you

To come back
As if
No time had passed

A little pick me up
When you felt alone
Or just to **** time

It's my fault
For letting you do
What you did

But I should have said
And if I did
Who knows

Maybe we would
Call it
Our bed
Jamie Jun 2013
I am not that interesting
I am not that smart
I am not a lot a things
Nothing but all heart

I have my moments that make what I am
They don't happen often
They don't happen a lot
Stick with me and I will show you what I've got
Jamie Oct 2016
It's ended like I expected
I lost another
But when it happens
My mind goes back to you

I wonder if current me
Would have lost you like before
Or if it was old me that
Might have won this time around

London is too big
With too much choice
Is that why I lose?
Or was old me better than now?
Jamie Jan 2015
6am

I have a million thoughts
None of which I can finish
Before another interrupts the previous

This endless loop
Of when I get myself into this state.
Hours of happiness to this

Awake,
Alone,
Confused.

Have I just wasted another day?
Jamie Apr 2015
When you are the one,
Who builds up the expectation,
That plans your future dates,
Thinking they would love this,
When they are hundreds of miles away.

This level of expectation builds up,
When you finally go,
Does it match expectation?
Do you even notice past they smile or eyes?
Or do the nerves take over and you don't know
Jamie Sep 2015
I spent all week waiting
Like a child at Xmas,
I didn't text much
Because I wanted to save it all,
For the moment we met again.

A million questions were ready
Because I want to know you,
There is more than just the looks behind
The way we looked at each other that day,
A glimmer of a future together perhaps?
Jamie May 2016
I have no right to feel like this,
But how dare you cancel on me again,
I know we aren't together,
But it hurts when you do.
Jamie Mar 2018
I told my friends about you,
How you came in like a cannonball,

Changed me, back to old me,
Then how you left...

Am I allowed to say I miss you?
Out the blue?
Jamie Feb 2018
I wish I could be,
Like everyone else,
Not have feelings,
But have this backup.

Knowing that I **** up,
With someone new,
My backup will be there,
From time to time...

That's cool,
Until I think of,
Who is kissing you,
And who wakes up next to you.
Jamie Jun 2013
One more I wanted
It is what I have

'All or Nothing'

Everything is on
This final time
Jamie Jun 2014
Currently I am drowning
I jumped in when I can't swim
I dug myself this hole
Life will be worse without you

Through lack of thought
Not being the person I was
When I met you
I have hurt you

I have become the person
I said I would never be
Sorry for all I have done
You really did, mean a lot to me
I don't love you and I didn't mean to lead you on.
Jamie Nov 2014
I see it in your posts
Your becoming someone new,
An incredible version 2.

This new city is changing me too
I no longer care of whats expected of me
I'm moving on and what will be, will be

I will always remember those moments
Including the nights where I wish
I never said good bye or good night

Or that morning when I woke you up
And you gazed at me with hate, yet joy
To wake up yet, having me by your side
Jamie Jan 2014
Something I don't understand
Are you friendly or is it more?
I open up to those with those I have it with
Then do I say too much to change your mind?
Jamie Dec 2014
It's been a while,
A good while,
But it's back.
There's nothing I can do
I'm helpless in thinking about you
Jamie May 2017
Come on away with me
I love you so
I just don't know
Just where to go
As long as we are so
Jamie Nov 2020
I knew I had an issue with some people,
But I never thought I would struggle with you
Sometimes I don't know what to say
And it turns into you shouting at me
I just sit there and I take it
Because I don't wanna make things worse

One day I won't just sit there and take it
And I fear what will happen that day
You say you hate conflict
But it seems like I hate it more
So I sit there and I take it
Because I don't wanna make things worse
sometimes this is how I feel
Jamie Jun 2013
Plan for the worst
Never the best
Because when it occurs
You know the rest

Dreaming of a day
When I won't think of you
My head is a mess
But I will pass this test
Jamie Aug 2014
Yesterday it took me 3 hours to calm down
It was one of our best dates
As I went to sleep and I clutched my pillow
I still felt your hand in mine

This is why I never got over you...
Yet I know I shouldn't get attached
But deep down I know I love you
And we don't have long till you go

This is why, I need to leave after you do
I can't stand living in this city
When I know I will never be happy here
Not without you by my side

Problem is we can't be right now
...
Because we would hold each other back
All your dreams and mine will have to do

I would never want to hold anyone back
From achieving their true potential
Being together would do that to you
If I love you I will let you go and not fight

Although it will **** me when we are apart
I will settle for the happiest I will ever be
For the time we have left
Yet I know it will be a beautiful goodbye

The firery walls are slowly caving in
Yet I am clinging on to every last second
In my head I am holding you and just
Slow dancing in this burning room
Settling for pure joy right now, knowing I will be beaten and very down in a few weeks time. Every second is worth it
Jamie Aug 2014
I saw you walk in
You didn't see me initially
My first thought
Straight to the bar

I didn't know what to say
I didn't know what to do
Then you saw me

That's when you ran off
Hand over your mouth
I know it was to cry

Later we gave each other a half smile
No words were needed
It was a look of
'I am OK'

Everyone I was with
Said it was time to leave
I felt I should say goodbye

As I said it
You went from being fine to not
As I said my goodbyes to others

I saw you ran passed me to go outside
We then spoke about everything
And it ended with us
Covered in rain
We spoke for 2 hours but it felt like 5 minutes
Jamie Mar 2015
In this moment,
I want 3 things
And here is why

A new job,
One, I love again
Like my last but in London.

More money,
So I can see my parents on day,
With a cheque for their montage.

A relationship,
To fall in love
And not be alone anymore.

I currently stand
In a decent place and position
But being human, I always want more.
Jamie Jul 2016
If I wasn't brave tonight,
I wouldn't have been where I was tonight.

But then weeks ago, I wouldn't have met you,
I wouldn't have held your hand.

But I wouldn't have felt my heart beat faster,
When I saw you with another guy tonight
Jamie May 2015
I can't believe I'm bitter,
You said hello and said things,
That I have dreamed about.

But with every word,
I want conversation over,
So you can't let me down again
"I wish this could be over now, the proofs in the way it hurts" - Sam Smith
Jamie Jul 2013
For a while today
I met someone new
She was lovely
Best of all I didn't think of you
Jamie Sep 2014
With 10,000 miles between us
I have been finding things to do,
And right now I don't miss you
In a week we find out if I actually miss her
Jamie Jul 2013
I don't want this silence
Is the silence worse
Or would you like to know?

I don't want to fight
Make you uncomfortable
Or force you to defend

I don't want to fix this
Or do I?
Seems like I don't know
Jamie Sep 2015
I can't believe where I am,
Having to force myself to look up,
I feel like everyone is above me,
And that I'm not worth anybody's time.

I spent a week being angry at world,
Thinking if the world is treating me this way,
I will treat the world that way too,
But today I'm exhausted.

I don't have any fight,
Work has taken me to Amsterdam,
All the fun that could be had,
But I just want to cry.
Today is a bad day
Jamie Jun 2013
It's we want
I don't wish to win
I don't wish to lose
No matter .. it will hurt
Jamie Jan 2015
Looks like it wasn't you,
That wanted to talk to me,
It was the stuff through your nose
Jamie Jan 2014
I give up
On us
On you
Jamie Jul 2013
Everything and nothing
Always seems to haunts me
You know am trying
Hanging on by a heartbeat

Trying to do what you want
Imagining what's in store
Everything that could of been
I am trying but why bother
Jamie Jun 2013
As we left
Its how I felt
No expectations
No disappointment

154 days
We waited
No expectations
Wasn't an option
Jamie May 2016
There is something words can't describe,
You are my type but it's more,
I want to open up your shyness.

Something I know I have to work at,
I know that I could easily fall for you,
It's been so long since I felt this way.

I need to fight but I just don't know how,
My emotions won't win but it's hard to ignore,
How hurt you can make me feel
Jamie May 2014
This mood is tedious
Waiting patiently
For nothing in particular

All the smiles never last
Always returning to
My lonely hour
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