One brisk spring afternoon, a boy found himself adventuring down a local forested path. The sun beamed down through the trees, creating golden stips of light that fought their way through the newly grown greenery. The crunch of the earth beneath his feet could be heard from a distance as unimportant thoughts drifted through his mind.
He paused and set himself down on a large rock by a bubbling stream. The water created an ambiance that made a rush of calm flow over his mind. His eyes drifted around a bit, taking in his surroundings when suddenly a butterfly flittered down and flew around his face. A smile spread wide across his features as he lifted up his hand to try to catch it.
The butterfly grazed his hand, but then flew away as fast as it could, as it was afraid of the boy. He frowned in disappointment, wanting nothing more than the butterfly itself to flutter down onto his hand so he could admire it once more; But he was left in despair.
Two more butterflies of the same pattern found themselves drifting along the face of the boy, and he tried to catch them as well, for maybe they would fill in the gap that the first had left. He caught them both, but only briefly, as all butterflies were beautiful, but fleeting.
The boy tilted his head in disappointment, and sat there alone for some time, an array of butterflies coming and going, none of them filling the void left by the first.
Suddenly, a pure white moth came into view.
The boy scowled, unsure of what to make of the moth as it was nothing like the other butterflies that he had encountered before. The moth flittered around his face, and he raised his hands slightly, prepared to swipe the creature away.
The moth found itself landing softly on the nose of the boy, its fuzzy little wings tickling his skin upon contact.
He couldn’t help but smile, but felt a little uneasy, as he was only used to butterflies.
The boy lifted the moth gently from his nose, and perched it on a nearby branch. It’s little wings lifted its body from the perch, and tried to fly back toward the boy, but he gently shood the creature away. Finally, it gave up and landed itself back onto the branch in which the boy had placed it. There the moth stayed, watching the boy chase butterflies endlessly until he could chase no more.

It was a hot summer morning in late August. The brick building in front of her was daunting. This was it. Her first day of high school. Her long brown hair swayed behind her. It brushed gently against the small of her back. Her heart pounded excitedly in her chest. A new adventure awaits her. An adventure filled with many smiles, and many hardships. This is the story of a girl in high school, with long brown hair.

-

Freshman year was fun for her. She made new friends, along with keeping a few of the old.  She met 3 people in her life who had a strange impact on her life, both good and bad.

One of these 3 was a girl. She was *****, and had different style, which enticed the girl with long brown hair. They were put in the same group, and began to talk. Soon after they became close friends, and had their first sleepover. It was the first sleepover of her high school year which wasn't with a friend from her previous school. She enjoyed it very much, and truly valued her new friend.

The two would often be seen together, and even made friends with two others who were like them. The two others were boys. One boy was a bit of a nerd with floofy hair and glasses. The other boy was a punk guy with long hair and darkened taste. The four would go to the mall together, and became inseparable.

The girl with long brown hair really liked these new friends. They were so much like her in so many ways, yet she also had others whom she enjoyed just as much. Freshman year went well for her. She was happy.

Sophomore year rolled around. Her confidence was high, and her relationships with her friends strong. She had made new valuable friends, and loved to do choir and theater.  She continued to make friends through her extra activities, along with keeping close to the ones from freshman year.

The ***** girl in her little friend group had met someone. A girl. They were in love, but the girl with long hair didn’t mind. They were still best friends throughout it- although the ***** girl drifted away as she was occupied with her partner. The boy with long hair and darkened taste told the girl with long hair that he loved her. She was scared, and told him she didn’t feel the same. He accepted it, but became depressed. Time passed by. He was always sad. The girl with long hair became closer to the boy with darkened taste. She wanted to fix him. She wanted to help him. He told her he loved her. He asked her to be with him. She hesitated out of fear. A little time went by. He asked again. She said yes.

-

They were happy. She made him happy for the first time in a while. He made her happy too. One night, the punk girl invited the girl with long hair and the boy with darkened taste to sleep over her house with her and her partner. They agreed. The four went to the beach. The night was foggy. The air was warm; the breeze cold. The boy with darkened taste and the girl with long hair fell in love.

Time passed. They were happy together. One night the girl with long hair had a terrible feeling. She had a panic attack. The boy with darkened taste was busy with a class he was taking. The girl called her best friend to panic. She calmed down.

The boy with the darkened taste called the girl with long hair. He yelled at her. “Why didn’t you come to me first?”.  He exclaimed. “You were busy. I didn’t want to interrupt you. I was panicking.” He scorned her. She cried the whole night. The next day, she didn’t eat. The school hosted a mass. The girl with long hair heard murmurings throughout the choir. Her best friend had gotten in a severe accident. Her car rolled over. She panicked. The boy with darkened taste apologized to her for fighting. He promised to not do it again. She believed him. He asked for forgiveness. A little time went by. He asked again. She said yes.

Junior year began. The girl had one friend left. The summer was fun for her, but not in a way that was healthy. She had stayed with the boy with darkened taste. She thought she loved him. She thought he loved her. She was wrong. The beginning of the year was rough. He yelled at her a lot. He didn’t trust her. He would often take her phone to read her messages. She wasn’t allowed to talk to other boys. He made her delete her social media. She wasn't allowed to talk to other friends. She threatened to leave him. He threatened to **** himself. She was stuck. She was scared. She was sad. They fought. He grabbed her. He wouldn’t let her go. She tried to yank her arm. He held tight. She wanted to leave. He wanted her to stay. He asked for her forgiveness. A little time went by. She said yes. This happened continuously. A short while later, they fought. She was used to him grabbing her. She was used to him forcing her. She tried to get away nonetheless. Then he hit her.

-

The girl with long brown hair was sick. She did not eat. Her friends whom she  cut off were worried. Her weight dipped to an unhealthy level. She thought the worst. She thought she couldn’t escape. She was wrong.

The end of junior year was her time. She escaped finally. She was not unscathed. The girl with long brown hair cut it all off. She needed a fresh start. It was symbolic to her. It helped her.

    The beginning of Senior year rolled around. The girl had healed a good amount, but not entirely. She had cut off communications with the boy with darkened taste.

He saw her in school. He spoke to her. He asked for forgiveness. The girl forgave him, although the wound was still fresh. He asked her to be with him again. A little time went by. He asked again. She said No.

Now the girl is a different person. She was wisened by her experience, and was able to forge some of her friendships with the friends she loves. Some relationships cannot be forged. She tries still. Nothing will be the same. She realizes that. She moves on. She is happy. Her weight is back to normal. She is healthy. She was no longer the same girl, with the long brown hair. She is a different girl. A more happy girl. Only now, She is the girl with short brown hair.

The water surrounding me stings like a million Pinpricks as I get plunged back into a time that I remember as Us.

Memories flow in like a clear pool of what once was as I sit back in emotional Paralysis, wanting nothing but to crawl out the damaged abyss of my once beautiful mind, now crooked, and corrupt

I still remember the day you left me. The feelings and the fears that engulfed the entirety of my soul.

I sat there for hours trapped inside my own mind scratching violently at the walls of my very being, drawing my own blood as the weak attempts to escape my mind proved futile.

My blood curdling screams could be heard by nobody except myself as my jagged claws slashed ferociously through the flesh of my consciousness, wanting desperately to escape myself with no avail.
Devastating defeat washed over me as the warm waters of the bathtub in which I am now trapped, leaving me with nothing but a sense of loneliness and fear.

My head sinks slowly into the warm water, allowing the sweet blur of darkness to crowd my eyes, forcing them shut. My crimson locks crawl about my face, staining the water around my features a ****** hue that simulates my deepest desire.

Now having tasted the deceiving flavor of defeat my body lays alone under water, wanting no longer to crawl away from my mind,
For it is all I have left in the dark world in which I have peacefully Succumb to.

It truly is the sweetest thing
A soft Caress
A light brush of skin
A Tender kiss that melts into a smile
Such a firm Desire I have
For that of Gentle Love

My wings were once gold and full
Until my feathers they started to pull.
I’d give them away too,
But mostly just give them to you.
My feathers were priceless.
They helped me to fly.
Now I’m stuck on the ground,
With everyone wondering why.

Street lights shone down on the curvy silhouette of a black corvette. The reflection of the road side glistens off of the flawless Chrome coat of the vehicle. The engine roars at the slightest touch of the gas petal as my father turns to me from across the table.
"It sounds amazing doesn't it."
I nod my head in agreement as another beauty of a vehicle passes by us. A porche convertable glides smoothly across the pavement with a purr slightly different than the corvette that had passed before hand.
"I like that one better though, don't you?"
I shrug my shoulders. The cars were undoubtably impressive and incredibly expensive. They were beautifully tailored without flaw, but for some reason I felt nothing toward them.
A strange smile spread across my face and my father looked at me confused.
"Why are you smiling?"
I looked down at my hands and thought for a moment to myself, not allowing much to slip out as I thought of one specific car that I really loved.
"I don't know...I like the sound of trucks better"  
I say looking down at my hands, remembering.

Like a cloud of magic
Lives can be changed in an instant.

Once the bottle is grasped
Your past can disappear in seconds.

Ones head seems to buzz
Reality masked by a shield of smoke.

A father, lifting his child
Smiles and laughs, holding him close.

His first day of school
New and different, a milestone in life.

The child giggles then winces,
Smelling the cloud of poison on his fathers breath.

His mother cries,
Wondering who it was she knew as her husband

Did he like me sober?
Or only when he had his walls of smoke protecting him.

Time will pass,
Years turn to months turn to minutes turn to seconds

The last fluctuation on the line
The red movements go still
Just like that he’s gone.

A boy walks down the path to his diploma.

His mother waves in the distance, proud, yet alone.

The boy giggles, for the first time in a while, he is happy.

A familiar smell wafts into the room.
A young man fidgets with his emptying pack of cigarettes.

The boy stops dead in his tracks.
He winces.

I see it.
           See through it.
              See far beyond it.
                   I see it.
          The mask in which you wear when you are around them
                         The people who pretend to be there for you
The ones you can “Talk to”
            But when you try you can’t.
You Can’t talk
          You Can’t Confide
        You Can’t let Go.
       I see it.
                           The mask you secretly desire to remove
                       The mask you have been wearing for so long,
                           you can’t tell if it even is a mask anymore
                          You can’t tell if it is the real you or not.
                You Can’t tell.
                   You Don’t Know
                       You Still Care
                          I see it.
                          There are people around who are like you.
People who pretend and live behind masks they create for themselves    
                                               so others don’t see
        People who can help
    People you can trust in
                  People who want to speak
            These people are numbered in few
I see it.
I see it.
      Why Don’t You?