I know that words don’t break the skin
But the walls of my heart are wearing so thin
They’ve been scratched at and rattled beyond ones belief
It seems that no person can offer relief
Because when those words hit my ears
My mind always delves into my darkest fears
Of being taken advantage of, hurt, and worn paper thin
So much so that if you blow on me, I’ll crumble from within.

My heart thumps in my chest like a rabbit
Trying desperately to run away
From the predator known as anxiety
that prevents me From falling asleep
as I so desperately need.
There is no reason for me to feel this way. To feel as if I am a rotting fruit on a tree that was supposed to be green and flourishing.
I know I am moving forward
I know I am doing better
But why do I feel like I'm drowning, even when I know how to swim?

I loved you yesterday. Before I saw you. It has been more than a month without you, which hurt more than I expected. The weeks went by, painful and lonely. They felt like decades without your presence, until yesterday. Once I saw you, that time melted away. The suffering, the loneliness, it all just vanished. Once I looked into your eyes it felt as though I had seen you just yesterday. your familiarity, your touch, they all seemed so recent, so comforting. Weirdly enough it wasn’t the home cooked meals, or the family gatherings that made me feel at home again. It was you, when I had gone to visit. I loved you yesterday, but I love you more today. And I know next time I see you, the same will happen.

Something I have learned is that heartache isn't just an emotional feeling. There is stress placed on your heart, causing increasing heart rate, and shortness of breath.  It is also said that emotional pain and physical pain are linked in the same part of your brain, which simulates the sensation of being hurt, constantly. So when I wake up in the morning, and reach my hand to feel for you, it is like I am tripping, and falling. Every day. It's never easy, having a constant dull pain. But the thing is, you're my only bandage.

The want now has started
The need began creeping
Now all that’s on my mind
Is you and me sleeping
Just us together
No one else around
Pure serenity and pure love
Happily to you, I am bound