1,
he used commas
even when the essay
was one sentence long
2,
he never liked labels
and his entire body shivered
as someone tried to describe him
in one
3,
he told me why
4,
a word will never
describe a person,
will never capture
the essence behind his smile
the word,
may try to surround him
like tree branches,
grow around him
but he is free to change
free to grow
and free to contradict,
he was never a label
5,
many days
he cried
and the tears
rushed down
his smiling face
6,
he would think of things
the world was oblivious of
make words
for thoughts
he was a floating cloud
a flying lantern
a wandering kite
7,
he was temporary
8,
people like him
cannot be enclosed
cannot be imprisoned,
routine is prison
9,
we were never a label
we never called ourselves
a couple
he once said
we were
ourselves together
and this
made me ecstatically
speechless
10,
he used commas,
never periods,
I guess
I always knew
he will be
running on.

Don't waste your time.

For, If you don't understand my complexity
in a matter of seconds
you will not in ages.

these painkillers
do nothing
about the chills
running down my spine
every few minutes

these painkillers
don't help
the pain my gut feels
as my heart jumps up
and down

these painkillers
never eased
this hollow pain
in the back
of my brain

these painkillers
don't help
and maybe

just maybe,

I don't want them to

My arms wrap tight
around my waist

my toes clenched
muscles contracted

my hands in fists
throbbing wrists

I feel trapped
but I'm not claustrophobic

my arms wrap tighter
and my lungs cannot expand

this breath I need to take
is slipping from my hands

my arms
loosen
my lungs
expand

this breath
I take
is the sigh
I make

every
time
I think
of
you

Cuddled on a piece of ripped card board box
Bruised shins, ripped socks

Reeking with lack of love
A piece of neglected art

The sharp things below
are all your little feet may ever know

I wonder whats sadder,
your misty gaze into empty space,
or how common this is to the human race

You are not invisible, little boy,
but we are blind

and the biggest fool of all
is the one who left you behind

to collect
but you are worth more than this cold neglect

I don't need to know your story, honey
to know that you are worth more than pocket money

If only I can give you love
for that is all I can never run out of

but love never cured the sick
a hug never filled an empty stomach

so for now, here's a sandwich.

We are all a burden
to many around us
but we are the burden
most of them want to carry
to feel joy
to feel need
to feel purpose

Our cells may age
but the metaphors
never do

Babies need their mothers
and their mothers
need them too

As a child,
I used to run my hands
on the walls as I walked

Adults around
would warn me
about the filthiness
of those dust, graffiti,
*****, and poster covered walls

But touching them gave me
a weird sense of accomplishment
Like physical proof
that I was once here

moving forward

Today
I will not worry
what bacteria
this wall holds
what molds
have aged on its corners

Instead, I'll run my hands
with every step I take

smiling
because I am,
once again,
*moving forward

And maybe excuses
aren't bad afterall

for some regrets
are too heavy
to carry

I'm sorry I left
I don't think it was good
for either of us

I miss you so much

I keep going back
and I find myself incapable
of motion- of change
without it

and yet
I don't want
to move

Tear oh tear
please stay near
you are here
when I'm in fear

tear oh tear
please don't move
keep sitting in that groove

tear oh tear
you taste good
like comfort food

tear oh tear
you are my friend
I'll have you till
the very end

tear oh tear
please don't smear
my make up
please oh dear

tear oh tear
thank you for
the future and the before

tear oh tear
water the pillow
under this weeping willow

And that silent gasp of breath
you take in the middle of the night
when you tears render you out of breath

breaks my entire heart

but I know
you'd rather
not talk about it

There are many things I avoid in life
and swimming in oceans is one of them

I don't trust the waves
that drown my barely-floating body
or the current
that seduces me into the center
of the unknown

I don't trust the jellyfish
that have stung me one too many times
and the the algae that grab my legs
into the deep darkness

But something about the sand
makes it all feel beautiful
the way it reminds me
that it was once a rock

that maybe collapsing
is what makes one beautiful

because it as only then
that they truly become
*themselves

This box
that surrounds you
is painted blue
from the inside
and green
from the outside

You told me you loved beautiful things
And it hit me hard in the back of my brain

Pieces of advice
Consist of memories shadowed by perception

I could be wrong at any time I think I'm right
But the blood in my veins swears that my brain is telling the truth

And the aches cannot be described
I try to call them by your name because I also don't know what to say

There are the passing fleeting thoughts that you never remember
And then there are the ones that you are holding on to because you think they
Define you
They do not define you

So all the pictures you're afraid to burn?
Maybe you should just throw them away
Burning is too dramatic anyway
Just throw them in the trash
So calmly
Passively

You don't need someone to tell to you what you should do
But most days,
You need someone to remind you of what you want to do

and sweetheart,
you did change the world,

*one poem at a time

We are a nation made entirely of greed.
Oh, and a bit of love.
But mostly greed.
On money we feed.
To many, a subliminal creed.
But at least we love...
the things we need.
And we need money.
Which brings us back to greed.

My heart was still learning how to walk again
But somehow, you taught it how to skip

Its funny how poetry
likes to be written in black
when often
it needs to be in yellow

sometimes
it isn't about loss
haunting regrets
or hollow sadness

sometimes
its about the way the sun hits the window
and wakes you up after a good night's sleep
sometimes
its about the smiles your muscles show
before you can control them
sometimes
its about a hopeful moment
in a near future
or newly changed bed sheets
or a chuckle with a baby
or the smell of freshly baked cookies

sometimes
its about the gratefulness
in words you can't begin to speak
sometimes its about a hit
thats such a near-miss
sometimes its about a hug
or a look
or a feeling

sometimes its about
a beating heart
a functioning liver
and a ...

sometimes its about a speechless tongue
that cannot speak these blessings
for it will take too long

Some days,
I can't write poetry

When my thoughts are weights
my fingers cannot carry
and my tears are curtains
that keep blinding me

When my breath is a shallow sigh
and my lungs cannot wait
When my words are too sharp
For my tongue to articulate

When everything makes sense
but nothing does

When you write the wrong words
don't erase them entirely

Instead,
scribble above them
and below them
the alternate spelling
and better-fitting synonyms

Sometimes you don't need a clean slate
You need the slate that carries pain and blood
Hate and love
Memories and regrets

What will one be
without mistakes
if not a blank page
with no name

Flowers die
and I try not to let myself
get attached
to beautiful things
that won't last

but once I hold
the flowers
you give me

I turn into
a walking question mark

asking myself
why
I ever resisted
the beautiful
transient
happiness

disguised as
a dying
plant

The ground has been shaking beneath my feet
and I've been patient

the ground is gonna shake
until I fall and break my bones
and I'll be patient

and when all my bones are broken
all my dreams have fallen
and all my might has disappeared

I'll teach myself to be patient
about being patient

I'll be an empty canvas
as long as you're the paint
adding color to my madness.

I'll be the midnight sky
as long as you're the fireworks
and it's the fourth of July.

I'll be an empty stomach
as long as you're the butterflies.
I'll be the void
If you'll be the cries.
The ketchup to your fries.

Can't you see?
You fill me up so perfectly.
Like you were made for me
like you and I were meant to be.

You are...

The feet to my socks
The juice to my box
The tic tok to my broken clocks.

You are...

My reason being.

All souls
can write
poetry


but not
all souls
need to

There are moments
when habit and subconscious imprison me
in an odd-shaped place I call my past

I find myself dialing your number,
heading towards your office,
and calling your name when I come home

I find myself straightening your toothbrush,
puffing your pillow,
and telling you to turn the lights off

I find myself
looking at your empty side of the bed and thinking "oh he's up early"

I believe its called a force of habit



But my God,

Am I dreadful
of losing the force
enclosing me
in my so-called
"prison"

Dreadful
of escaping this prison

for beyond its walls,
you are no longer here

and after a bone breaks,
it heals to become stronger

so I'll call my heart a bone
and watch as you break it

I'll welcome the pain
with open arms

and as it slips through my fingers
I'll try to forget

how
much
you took
away
from me

There are thoughts that make my bones shake
smells that make my nose cry
and sights that make my eyes bleed

There are moments when my body loses its tone
when my resting face becomes a canvas of contracting muscles
and I don't realize what is happening

tears precede my thoughts
and I bleed before I have time to think
control is not an option

my vocal cords forget how to resonate
and no longer is my voice my own

my arteries pump more blood
than my heart can pump back
and I feel the blood pulsate in my limbs
as I try to calm down

I forget how it feels
to inhale surrounding air
without feeling suffocated

my thoughts become unrealistic
and you'd think they'd be more organized
but they're not
they are not

reality is the option
my brain is trying to avoid
so I think of movies
and lunch

but like microbes
reality infests the diversion
my brain had created

and a loop plays in my head
a loop of nothingness
of uncertainty and
loss of control

and so the blood rolls down my cheeks
as my bones begin to tremble
and tears fall down my nose

please, God,
let this moment end

You shook me so roughly
only to wake me from
the fantasy I taught myself to believe;
the lies I built around me,
and positivity I trained my mind to perceive.

And now that I have awaken to reality
I must say..
Boy do I miss that slumber.

Sliding on my knees
was a game I used to play
It was determined by inertia,
who would win that day

Lately,
I landed on my knees
after my thighs failed to run
away from the man
I call 'the one'

I felt myself slide
as far as never before

And although,
I was running from
the man I love;
I knew in my core:

I won

because I slid further more
than before

The biggest excuse we tell ourselves is
"I don't have time"
We have 24 hours in a day.
We have nothing but time.
It's the skills to manage it that we lack.

You called me sugar
but sweetened your tea with **honey

"To prosper", I whispered to myself
every time I felt
just a little closer to mind absence.
Just a reminder of my reason being.

Speak to me about regrets
as you reassure me I'm making the right choice

Talk to me about the fragility of human beings
as you remind me how strong I am

Tell me about the human memory
as you promise you'll never forget this moment

Mutter that I'm perfect as I am
as you gently hint I should ditch my bad habits

Whisper 'forever' in my ears
as you explain that life changes despite all odds

I'm asking you to be honest

Speak the two voices in your head


Instead of sugarcoating my rocks
Please, put pebbles in my sugar

Charles Dickens wrote in Great Expectations,
of a Miss Havisham, who stopped her clocks
at the exact time she was left at the altar.

We were once waiting for the elevator;
once it reached the ground floor,
it indicated that it is at the 3rd floor
Wittily, you said, "maybe he lost his love at the 3rd floor"

I don't think you understand how poetic you are.

I kept your letters,
but I haven't read them once since you left

Maybe its because
I'm keeping them for a day
when I need to remember
how loving you felt like

because I haven't yet forgotten

I feel the back of my brain
and the inner corner of joints

I feel my gastric acid
and the core of my bones

I feel pain,
regret
and uncertainty,

I want to
do something
about this
but there
is nothing
I can do
if
I
don't
want
to

Our brains might mistake some actions for rudeness
when really the other person's brain is completely unaware of the capability of being misjudged.

We were uncertain
of each other's feelings
hoping
they would be as our own

When you said goodbye
for the last time
it moved my heart to the back of my throat
and and my tears to the back of my eyes

Every fiber within me was fighting for love
for you

Unaware, I ran
It felt as though my eyes were closed
and yet I still knew my destination,
It was you

Let me tell you one thing
before time alters this memory
Let me tell you that I love you
before you express your apologies and flattery

.
.
.


It embraces me,
the feeling I never want to forget;
when all nerves within me fired impulses
as you spoke "I love you too"

I'm a girl who needs warmth
but still chooses to wear short sleeves on a snowy day

In the midst of anger,
In the epitome of sadness,
In the clench of regret,

You called me

And I wasn't there to answer

I don't want to say sorry
for not hearing my phone ring,
because that wasn't my fault.

But I do want to say thank you
for calling me first,
entrusting me
with your love

I love it when you wear eye-liner,
and I love it when you don't
because your bare eyes are indicators of your exhaustion level

I love it when you wear foundation,
and I love it when you don't
because you make my heart sink every time you blush

I love it when you wear lipstick,
and I love it when you don't
because your lips get redder when I kiss you

I love you whatever you do
but don't feel the need to do it for my sake,
do it for you

**I love you

Having a good day doesn't make us happy.
Our Happiness is what makes a day good.
We are *the day

It was easier for him
to refer to me as 'she'

To avoid the streets I walk in
and to never drink tea

To avoid eye contact
and throw away his key

To make new friends
who are not friends with me

To convince himself
that I'm erased from his memory

To throw away the plants
and cut down the tree

To drop everything
and - just like that - flee

He doesn't know it yet,
but that doesn't help

He thinks he is forgetting me
but he is remembering-
he is remembering to forget me

and memory doesn't work this way

As much as it pains me to say,
- make new memories in the streets we walked in
- and associate tea with food, not me
- water the plants so they would grow, as can we
- look me in the eye and remind yourself, I am not the me I used to be, that you used to see
- repeat my name over and over, until you feel nothing
- keep your key because I changed the locks
- meet up with our friends, and hear my news- and wish the best for me

I wish the tear on my cheek was because I am cutting onions,
as I am preparing your favorite meal,
but it isn't

I hope you'll associate me with goodness,
and smile when you're 80 as you remember me

Feeling constantly misunderstood
should awaken you to a high sense of understanding towards others.