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2.2k · Jan 2015
Yes vs. No
Ciarra Jan 2015
Yes, I'm okay.
No I'm not.

Yes, I'm just really tired.
No, I'm tired of living.

Yes, everything is fine.
No, my world is crashing down around me.

Yes, I'll be fine
No, you'll be lucky to see clean wrists tomorrow.

Yes, I've been eating.
No, I haven't eaten, when I do, I throw it back up in disgust.

Yes, I feel confident.
No, I just wish I was perfect.

Yes, I'm fine being alone.
No, I just want somebody to love me...

Yes, I'm telling the truth*
No, I'm telling the truth.
Genesis Luna Serenity
2.0k · Jan 2015
Star Gazing
Ciarra Jan 2015
I look up at the millions of twinkling dots in the sky.
I whisper under my breath maybe someday, I can reach out and touch the beauty the possess.

I've always wished to have such beauty, as the stars did.
The mysterious gestures they command lovers to do,
the physique and romance inter-wound with their mere existence.

I promised myself, that I would never sing again, if i could for one day, contain as much as an acute  palm full of the wonder these little specks hold among themselves.

And yet, as I ponder these continuous thoughts, I catch myself smiling, as if I was one.
2.0k · Mar 2015
Oh Lovely, Where Did You Go?
Ciarra Mar 2015
She was a wildflower
Sprouting wherever she pleased.
She could brighten the world
With her delicate petals.

Even when the season changed
She stood tall
Through the wet rain
And the dusty drought.

She looked so lovely
She looked so lonely
She looked so beautiful
She looked so dangerous.

Little did I know,
That she was poisonous
To nobody
But herself.

The birds stopped singing
That fateful day
The rain stopped playing
The drought never came

The seasons stopped changing
As that beautiful wildflower
Began to lose her petals
And die.
1.4k · Jan 2015
Anxiety
Ciarra Jan 2015
It's more than just constant worry,
It's fear.

The fear of the small things,
Did I leave the oven on?
Did I lock the door?
Do my socks match?

The fear of the big things,
Does he love me?
Am I annoying?
Is somebody following me?

The fear of seemingly impossible things,
What if somebody shoots up the school?
What if I die today from a meteor?
Are there robot overlords?

The fear of unfortunate possible things,
What if If I don't have exact change?
I don't know how to answer this question, what if the teacher calls on me?
I cant stop loving him, even though he probably doesn't know I exist

It is more than a constant worry,
It's fear.
1.3k · Jan 2015
Jealous
Ciarra Jan 2015
Look at her, standing there.
Such divine beauty,
Contained in a ravage soul.

He is all over her,
I wish that he would
Look at me like he does her.

Her flawless perfection,
Rain or shine,
the brightest days nor darkest nights
can compare to her.

Call me what you will
Jealous
Envious
Conceited
Ravished, maybe.

I certainly cannot compare
To the magnificent glow
She can produce
In one smile for him.

If only,
He loved me,
Like he loved her.
There isn't a day that has gone by when I haven't felt so confident. I look around at all these girls with such a more significant beauty and wonder what its like to be desired by just one person.

Yours,
Genesis Luna Serenity
1.2k · Jan 2015
Oh, My Lover.
Ciarra Jan 2015
Good Evening, my lover.
I have long awaited your arrival.
You see, my darling.
I have some news.
But I'll wait until you've finished you drink,
It's my own mixture.

Good Night, my lover.
I see you're now gone.
You see my darling,
We will be together again soon,
In the deepest pit of hell,
Where we belong.
1.1k · Jan 2015
The Noose
Ciarra Jan 2015
There it was,
Waiting for me.
Dangling in the middle
Of the dark basement.

It called my name.
It whispered to me,
"Fake your smile, they won't know what you've been hiding."

I slipped the letter under the door,
The sweet remedy of self destruction, and the scent of freshly braided rope.
It's tempting strands called for me.

I slip the only obstacle standing between me and freedom over my neck,
And begin my walk to freedom.

One... Two... Three.
Jump.
1.0k · Jan 2015
Gracefully Yours
Ciarra Jan 2015
I cant imagine how delicate one can be,
even as delicate as I.
But whoever sought out to break me,
You will be the first to fall.

As light and pleasant as a summer breeze,
Yet harsh as the thrashing winds of a storm at sea,
i run to your garden,
looking for the protection I need.
978 · Jan 2015
Nature's Medicine
Ciarra Jan 2015
Heartache is life's remedy to happiness
When you can only see positive things,
And bright futures.

Sadness is the cure to love.
Because life doesn't want you
To be perfectly content with yourself.

I cannot comprehend the beautiful,
Without thinking about my own disgusting traits.

I cannot admire the lovely,
Without desire of the decaying and dead.

I cannot enjoy the company,
Without feeling so lonely.

I am a victim,
Of nature's medicine.
937 · Jan 2015
The Optimal Flames
Ciarra Jan 2015
Look at me.
look at  me

Do you see what I see?

The world?
All aflame!

And yet, you dare hold your breathe,
When I ask you, if you love me?

How dare you!
Can you not see how much I need you?

Can you see me?
Can you see the piece of me you have left shattered on the floor

You kicked me around, and left me
To die there.

How dare you.
May you forever be haunted

By the memory of seeing my lifeless body
Dangle from your ceiling.
Ciarra Jan 2015
Lying here next to you,
Is the closest to love I have ever been,
And yet I am so far
From your heart.

You kiss me,
As if you wish to be as free as a dove.
Yet you push me away,
Because you are afraid of love.

Oh darling,
If only you knew,
That I am in fact,
Afraid of love too.

You look so fragile,
As I fall in love with your eyes,
But can you see,
The terrible things in my dreams?

The days pass,
Yet I haven't heard from you,
Can I say something crazy?
I love you too.

But you'll never know,
As you read this letter,
I am going away,
I know that will make things better.

Please do not shed a tear,
For it will not be long,
Before you realize,
In my nightmares is where you belong.

In the back of my mind,
Away from the world,
Just the thought of you,
Makes me want to hurl.

You lied to me,
You betrayed me
Can I say something crazy?
I loathe you too.
It can take a grand scheme to make someone who has never been in love to fall in love, and I feel the mental portrayal is understated.
899 · Jan 2015
Him and I
Ciarra Jan 2015
He.
Him.
Us.

We were never meant to be,
And yet
I keep going back to that place
Where we used to laugh
And frolic among the emotions
Of true happiness,
Even if only for a moment...

I can't paint it picture perfect
As if it has been instilled on my heart,
And then smudged away,
By the tears of the heartache,
As he loves another.

He. Will never know of how much I long for his touch.
His. Attention belongs to another.
Us. Well, we shall never be the same again.

If only he knew how I thought of him amidst the day.
If only his touch could bring the pain away...
If only I could say, that there ever was an us.


If only I could say it was real.
894 · Jan 2015
Artist
Ciarra Jan 2015
They looked at her
With disgust in their eyes.
"She's an artist" they said
But she could not disguise,
The pain she dealt with
Every night at home.

Her mother was working
And her father wasn't involved,
She kept slipping away to the voices,
Listening to their every sound.

And then he came.

He looked at every imperfection,
And saw the beauty in her.
He admired every piece if artwork,
By paint brush and blade.
She never failed to impress a crowd,
By people or demons.

But, not all stories have a happy ending.
For he left,
And so did she.
877 · May 2015
Just a Hint of Innocence
Ciarra May 2015
Her flawless porcelain skin.
Covered in the splattered blood of the world.

Oh, how marvelous her eyes!
I will always hold them dear to my heart.

I hear the slight whimper and cry
Of the fresh flesh exposed to the cold air.

Don't worry little one.
You will be home soon.
791 · May 2015
The Recovery Process
Ciarra May 2015
It starts on day one

The hardest moment in your life.
Is stepping up.
Throwing away the blades.
Flushing the pills.
Breaking the lighters.
Healing the wounds.

Day one is the most important.
Right after day two.

But my darling.
What if I don't make it to day one?
775 · Jan 2015
The Universe
Ciarra Jan 2015
I'd give all the Stars in the world, just to make you smile,
And I would jump over the Moon to only be yours.

I would outshine the Sun if I could show you how much I love you,
And I would move Mountains if I could see you happy.

The Planets do not have to be aligned,
for anyone to see,

That You and I were simply,
meant to be.

But, alas, there are treacherous obstacles,
we both must face.

The Rivers  may flow the wrong direction,
and the Valleys may be steep,

But I promise you,
That as long as the Canyons are deep,

The Deserts are dry,
And the Jungle is lively,

I am willing, to travel across the Universe,
to be able to love you.
Ciarra Jan 2015
Look at Them,
Gloriously standing there.
Mocking me.
Stalking me.
Using me.
Killing me.

But it is I who has the upper-hand,
And it is I who can not only silence these demons,
But make them dance.
673 · Jan 2015
I can't stop
Ciarra Jan 2015
I can't stop thinking,
About the way
Her hand touched mine.

I can't stop thinking,
About the place
Where he made me cry.

I can't stop thinking,
The voices
They're getting too loud.

I can't stop drinking,
Every time
I hear her name.

I can't stop sleeping,
More and more
Hour after hour.

I can't stop dreaming,
The hellish nightmares
That have become reality.

I can't stop writing,
Until I've gotten
My reason pointed out.

I can't stop thinking,
About how no one
Will notice I'm gone.

I can't stop breathing.
No, wait.
yes I can.
665 · Jun 2015
Here I Go Again
Ciarra Jun 2015
Look at me
Tossing my heart out to the most unsuspecting people
Tell me
Do you know what to do with it?

Make me dance in the rain
Kiss me in the night
Hold me each morning
Love me like none before you.

Old flames have hurt my heart
I will truly never let you in.
I cannot risk the unobtainable damage
To my fragile emotionless heart.

Here I go again,
Falling for just another man
Who can disguise the evil
With just a sweet kiss.
If I could ever express my fear of falling flat on my face after you tripped me with your love, you would be crushed, and I would be on the ground.
Ciarra Jan 2015
O' sweet love, I am waiting for thee,
Build me up a castle,
But perish not, into the sea.
Thy love is a burning flame
Amid the night of wonderous emotion.

I cannot live my wholesome life,
Without the presence of your heart!
And shall I awake,
To find you have loved another?
Then may my death bring thee great sorrow!

For you have grown me to love emptiness,
To loathe those who spent eternities,
Beating our love against mountains.
O' sweet love, I am waiting for thee.
587 · Jan 2015
The Love of Fire
Ciarra Jan 2015
It's body flickers as the wind gently rolls in,
It provides its love to those suffering the bitter cold,
It has the spark of two fresh lovers blinded by the world,
It is the only thing standing between me, and the ultimate sacrifice.
574 · Mar 2015
Can You See The Fire?
Ciarra Mar 2015
You glimpse at me,
God can only know
How much
You set fire to my soul.

Can you see how much
I love you so.?
I just want to run away
You and I, let's go.
The words of my heart,
Genesis Luna Serenity
502 · Jan 2015
Vodka and Tears
Ciarra Jan 2015
I look beyond the horizon.
The colors of the sky mesh together,
Like I mix ***** and lemonade,
Drinking away my heartache.

I feel numb on the inside.
I pretend to be happy on the outside.
Two cigarettes and a broken heart.

The stinging sensation burns a feeling of belonging.


Just like ***** and Tears.
This is not mine. It was my best friends before he quit writing. And so I took it upon myself to put his work out there
464 · Jan 2015
Love for the absent minded
Ciarra Jan 2015
It came swiftly,
Like the absent whisper of the wind.
I think they call it love.

They always said,
That love was just a man-made emotion
To fill the empty years.

Then it struck me, like a 15 ton truck
He was there. He was beautiful.
And then,
He was mine.
452 · Jan 2015
Life
Ciarra Jan 2015
Come to me,
And we shall be,
Forever lasting
In the light of the sun,
And the gaze of the moon,
Shall forever envy
Your innocent beauty.
426 · Jun 2015
Old Friends
Ciarra Jun 2015
It's good to see you again.
You look great.

We haven't talked in a while.
I'm sorry I've been so distant.

I can't imagine the agitation you possess
Seeing my name again.

But here me out,
I still want to be friends
407 · Sep 2015
23:04
Ciarra Sep 2015
I sit in the darkness.
Darling come get me,
For I am far too scared
To venture out on my own
380 · Feb 2015
February 5, 2015. 20:15
Ciarra Feb 2015
Give me Love.
I can't tell if this is love or lust,
The constant thrashing of the sheets,
And the meaningless "I love you"s.
Give me Lust.

Give me Lust.
The way you look at me,
With those devilish eyes,
And that hungry smile.
Give me Pain.

Give me Pain.
Break my heart,
Just like you always wanted.
Smash me to pieces.
Give me Love.
Yours,
Genesis Luna Serentiy

— The End —