I’m the kind of person that when she’s feeling sad and when she’s crying she starts to think about the people she’d want to talk to at the moment but no one comes to mind because everyone close to her can’t handle how emotional she is, can’t handle seeing her cry, can’t handle seeing her so upset.
So she starts thinking of other people that she’s been talking to but she doesn’t feel comfortable enough or close enough to open up to them so she just lies in bed feeling sorry for herself and cries herself to sleep.
Funny how pretty everything looks, Soaked in over saturated colours. I’ve been stuck in this room for months, I’ve been stuck in this skull for too long to care. Four walls, whether paint plastered and polished. Four walls meet my eyes. I wish I could sew my eyes shut, only see what I imagine. I can hear the cars becoming less constant outside, even the cats are sleeping now. These lights are too bright for me.
Long live obsessed with kept secrets I’ll find them in men of all kinds Daisies wash away One by one I call out the ones who Double dealed, fake, and flaked. I’m just looking for absolution Mother Earth once my friend At the twelfth strike You trash my world Speck of love Yet your eyes double cross My love has shown me first hand infidelity Tell me about falseness As you eat your words Runaway, look away in hard times There must be more? Teach me, better yet model me, then cheat me I’m wondering, who are you? You share my DNA but I don’t know you You think of me as cold That’s only half the path Feel the distance Know it’s your result of mistrust Those tears say and say The body holds the source
I know your long lost kept secret Only a child used so carelessly All the years of loneliness and void Blame **** them and forgive them Please daisies castaway the deception Clarity swimming in remission Long before I drown in the many retributions.
I had a light in me It shone so bright that people could see what was inside I talked about things that I loved religiously And I clearly knew what I wanted to do
I did not give two ***** About what anyone thought of my work Until I found myself wanting recognition I asked people to tell me what was good and what was bad
I saw no wrong in that Neither did they Until I realized that I craved for compliments I craved the praise
It was not for bad intentions I wanted to get better I wanted to be heard I wanted the world to know me
But slowly, I became obsessed I started relying on people I relied on them to tell me my work is good While I no longer believed in myself
The more they told me it was not good enough; That I was not good enough My light started to dim And discouragement was staring me right in the face
I spent so long minding what everyone else thought of me That I forgot the reason I was doing what I was doing I listened to what everybody wanted me to do I pushed aside the things that I wanted to do for myself