friendship can burn like an old picture on the wall. it tries so hard to stay, just like its always been, nostalgic screaming soon wears thin. it tries so hard to not fall apart, destined to burn from the very start. it tries so hard to pretend that everything´s okay, yet the edges start to fray. it tries and tries and tries and tries. but, the edges are crumbling in on the plummeting colors, that was once me, once you once her, once friends. the flames are licking the back of the paper ripping a beautiful hole between the three of us, my friends. and that´s when it had to come to an end.

So naive, so whole
She smiles as fireworks burst in her eyes soon to sizzle out surely to die, because her smile will then turn to a cry.
Eternally happy
Eternally in love
She's lost in the moment

I get up, I get down
yelling nothing, soundless sound.
say it wrong, try again
who is she? that's my friend
**** the spider, no remorse.
say i love you till my voice is horse.
cats that bite, autumn joy.
living life like a toy.
uninspired, not okay.
brightroom sings, end of day.

Please stop talking to me your breath smells like death, your creeping me out and without a doubt if you come any closer to my face I swear untill next year you'll be in a brace.

the pope asked me what i really belived in, behind the lies and masks and the effect of saten.
you know what i told him?
wanna know what i said on that dry summer evenin?
i said that my holy book is read by the perfact way your hair looks messy when you just get out of bed,
when you call me late at night because our songs stuck inside your head.
i worship the way you always say that i know just what you think,
ill pray to the way your voice goes low as hell when you talk about true love.
the way your eyes make stars appear in all that dreary darkness of...all the rhods we take and lines we cross just to hold echother near. and at the end of this congregation i promise ill see you soon my dear.
you give new colors to every flower. evey lemon, every tree. and the colors sparkle only when i hold you close to me,
on the red platos of navajo, honey bees makeing a song so much better than the radio, your voice the lead singer and my spirit feels the flow.
so yeah i know its a little bit melo-dramadic, a bit manic, co dependent on the way you look at me, whatever you see thats just what i wanna be. babe.
and so my soul is saved with every touch from you.
preach in the pew about all the times we had at midnight solitary dances running from our taxes living life and death theres nothin left
but all that holy love we share.

so i told the prest the, minister the bishop and the father and the son and evry single holy ghost who was there, that im in love with this girl and i dont give a ****, what you think force me to drink that holy water to set me on that straigh and narrow bath, and i would laugh at all the **** that they belive will work on somone such as me.
and THATS how i got excommunicated
thankyou

wow

my heart is
P O U N D I N G
you make me see gold when things are black,
when you talk like that I freak O U T because, wow! how do you do that to me?
so I don't care if i have to cross a sea O F vulnerabilities and emotion,
ill do it all for that time you said M Y smile made you happy, when your happy i can fly to the stars an back.
My C H E ST feels all fluttery whenever our eyes meet and jeeze I'm just a frikity frakin mess

Its quiet here, the only sound is my footsteps tap tap tapping on a narrow silver path, I can look up and see stars falling like tears but look down and see a nothing that goes on for years. I run for miles on the narrow silver path the silver reflects my desperation I need to get out. I'm running and running memories chase me like dogs I can't get away my feet just sound wrong. Silver turns green, I'm in a sad grotto blond hair, blind eyes sit by a gold tree she's silent and screaming I know she sees me. I sit and awake in a wave of dark clouds in a blood red liquid that serves as a ground I walk and walk my feet splashing Scarlet until I see her dancing, a crying blind harlott short black hair streaming to nowhere beautifully tradgic she dances like magic. I close my eyes and i dance aside, waiting hopefully for the moment we die.

floaters in my eyes move and groove to the sound of my speeding heartbeat
until they form into the form of my perfect nightmare although, i really dont care.
and the lover of all life just learned to hate death.
so i will stare at the red and yellow colors hugging cracks in my cealing, what is this feeling?
i dont want to wake up and leave my light fairlylight tree.
ringing phones call me from every side.
but i wont rise from the sleep that ive worked so hard to disign.
not until static ***** my ears and froces me to cry.
putting on that polyester mask that they all call my pretty smile.
walking through the lions den i call home.

the pope asked me what i really believed in, behind the lies and masks and the effect of saten.
you know what i told him?
wanna know what i said on that dry summer evenin?
i said that my holy book is read by the perfect way your hair looks messy when you just get out of bed,
when you call me late at night because our songs stuck inside your head.
i worship the way you always say that i know just what you think,
I'll pray to the way your voice goes low as hell when you talk about true love.
the way your eyes make stars appear in all that dreary darkness of...all the roads we take and lines we cross just to hold each other near. and at the end of this congregation i promise i'll see you soon my dear.
you give new colors to every flower. evey lemon, every tree. and the colors sparkle only when i hold you close to me,
on the red platos of navajo, honey bees making a song so much better than the radio, your voice the lead singer and my spirit feels the flow.
so yeah i know it's a little bit melo-dramadic, a bit manic, co dependent on the way you look at me, whatever you see that's just what i wanna be. babe.
and so my soul is saved with every touch from you.
preach in the pew about all the times we had at midnight solitary dances running from our taxes living life and death there's nothing left
but all that holy love we share.

so i told the priest the, minister the bishop and the father and the son and every single holy ghost who was there, that i'm in love with this girl and i dont give a ****, what you think force me to drink that holy water to set me on that straight and narrow bath, and i would laugh at all the **** that they believe will work on someone such as me.
and THAT'S how i got excommunicated
thankyou

He knows.
He knows that I'm already bleeding I've already fallen,
I can't defend myself when it comes to him. It would be so easy for him just break past my paper walls and tear through the weak, burnt, charred fleash and muscle and bones that had protected me from people like him for so long, he could easily just rip through it and pull out my glass heart and crush it in his fist, the tiny bleeding shards would fall from his hand, scraping it up and drawing drops of metallic blood from his hand, the tiney red sparkleing Cristal shards would fall down, down, down. And as fast as the light would fade out from my eyes as my soul would slowly evaporate, the shards of my broken crystal heart would hit the floor. The remanders of my heart, my life, my love, my being, the beautiful remanders of an ugly girl would shatter like glass on the cold hard stone floor. drops of blood, bolth mine and his, would blossom into tiny pools of beautiful red. The pools would spread, yet never touch. As the dark red stains spread across the cold floor. I would die, watching pooling dots of my own blood and tears, and his, his blood, his tears drip dropping to the floor that I die upon. My last sight would be the sight of ugly love and beutiful death. He would walk away, just like they all did. The toxic, evil of man would be the one to finally gain the victory of ending this wasted life that I have lived. I know he wouldn't even think about it. he would soon forget, about me, about love and about death. That is what love is, it's a slow painful death that you unwillingly bring upon yourself, all of these fools are allowing themselfs to be dragged into this, they're idiots, all calling it "love" I should be happy that he hasn't destroyed me like the rest have yet, but I know he could and he would be The very last.

how to make a humble pie
step one
make the listening to no one but the devil on your shoulder by hand and really kneed that into a lonely pie crust
step two
whisk together some mindlessness and two tons of confidence, (add a little extra for a bitter taste)
add fear of vulnerability and lack of commitment in there
slowly stir in the ungratefulness until its the consistency of a bad person
cook this all in the hypocritical oven until its nice and bad at taking criticism
let it dry for sixteen years until its rotten and moldy and put it into a pride fridge for twenty two minutes. Sprinkle a ton of entitlement on to the top and your done! You've made a humble pie!!
Serve with syrupy sugar milk and sour grapes

Painful perfect paintings attack me in the night, sending me in to a deep spiral of if only-s. If only White birds would silently cry in the day, with folded wings that never learned to fly. Shortly in death I think of this moment in time and cry Apache tears on to the glassy sea of painful perfect memories. You had feilds of lemons and crows swimming in a colbat blue pond in your pudding brown eyes and I miss them. I miss the way you would always tell me that I was your one and only snowglobe heart and I understand that if you heard what I'm saying your heart would restart but from the moment I rushed out an " I love you" at the end of our call my poor memories become spotted and dull but I know that yours must be duller, for although you are a broken pencil with no erasor I am a camera that records but dosent save the the promise you broke, when it turned into a joke. I would give hell a name if only things didn't go the way they went, but it's over. If only I listened a bit.

Violets have pollen,
Roses have thorns,
I wish that you had never been born,
The fact that your still here really boils my blood,
No one would care if you drowned in a flood.

translation:
*help me

Dancing and jiving to the sound of the heart monitor in the back
Your seizing like a seizure and im beating like a heart attack
Grandma's dead
Dad shot her in the head and we’re
Drinkin and dancin tonight
I feel FINE
And we can slide through the slick halls
Flirtin with the white walls
and sign that everythings always alrigh
****** all up in her feeding tube,
Take a shot of anesthesia every time she makes a Cadaveric move
Yeah grandmas livin it up tonight
Now we’ll moonwalk into a birthing center just to step to those jarring screams
You've got syringe glass in your hair. I'm sitting in the doctor's chair. Yeah, I'm dancing with the girl of my fever dreams!!!
spike the ceyline bags with laughing gas, its so funny. not knee slapping funny just so funny.
We’ll have a disco party in the medicare
Weave some new bath towel from fallen cancer hair
Yeah this ***** getting crazy and i'm with you
**** who are you?

Roses are red,
violets are blue
I like talking to you,
. . . . .
Uhm. . . shoe

Look.
Can you see it?         The blood.
                                 The blood.
                                 The blood.
                                         dripping                through
                                 ­      the                                  white
                              halls
                                                   drip
                                                   drip
                                                   drip
                                                   drip
                                                  DRIP
                                                   drip
                                                  DRIP
                                                     D
                                                     R
                                                     I
                                                     P
                                                     .
I'm running through the bleeding ****** blood.
      running
      running
      running                          
                                           Can I leave?
                                   I don't want to get in the way.
                                                                     the way of you.
                                    living your lifetime                                        
               you don't need me.
               you don't need me to keep living your lifetime.
                                                    so
                                                   just
                                                   leave
                                                   me
                                                                               alone.
                                          And live your lifetime.
                                   I'm at the end of my **** lifeline.









                                               Yeah.

I could sell you the sky with rain from the heavens.
I have lights made from lead and a heart made of Cole
Don't trust a pretty liar who pretends to be whole.

Everything in life is temporary
it all ends, but the problem is when things end somthing new begins and you just have to deal with all these beginnings and endings
Everything is temporary
Sadness, love, life, passion, friendships, homes, familys, joy day, night, sleep, awake
It all ends
And you just watch it end over and over again and you have to deal with it
Theres one thing that dosent have an end but still begins and thats death.
It begins but never ends thats why everyone craves it or fears it so dearly
I can think of a million things that never begin but always end
But deaths the one thing that begins without an end.
What brings all these beginings and endings in a cycle only stopped by death?
The three norns
The future is an end, look forward and a million things have already ended
Time brings all ends
And beings bring beginnings, beings desperately build things up hoping not to have ot smashed down by time, but it always happenes, a cycle
The past are things that are to end and the present is things that are ending
The cycle is boring
And sad
It just means your stuck
Theres only one end
That lastts forever and thats death
No happiness without sadness yet there seems to be sadness without happiness all the time
death wont leave me
death dosent forget about you
death dosent leave its forever, past a point of no return
thats beuty
in a universe full of cycles
the only true beuty is an end
Yet objects dont end
When i die my body will decay and go into another cycle
But i will be over
I will be dead
thats whats so beautiful about the anomaly of life
Things cycle forever, never to end
But beings get to end
I truly pity things without being
They cycle forever
No end for them
but the strangetys of the infinantes gave us being!!!
and thats what separate beings from everything else
We die
We get the beautiful gift of an end

Making the most of life is pointless when most ends
if i make the most of a friendship its still gonna end
Everythings temporary and thats never ending
What making the most gives you is only an end that makes you look back and wish things lasted forever?
Pure unfiltered nostalgia
Pain
Regret
Regret of letting it end
Knowing you could have done something to stop it from ending
Regret of not saying more
Not doing the things you where scared to do
but now its over and theres no way to do anything because everythings temporary
Except death
Death lasts forever
An end without an end

The solar eclipse,
the feel of your lips.
Your long brown hair in the cold Misty air.
The contrast turns dark as we kiss in the park,
but an eclipse surely fades, and your lips cannot stay
So you cut your hair and left me there, in the park dreaming of that short time that you really did care.

Love = addiction.
There is no such thing as real love. If someone says that they love you, they're lying. Please remember that they would always take you for granted, they'd always sacrifice you for someone or something else in just a second.
No one really loves anyone.
This trap that I'm in is eternal torture.
Please God in heaven, end this suffering!
Free me
From
This
Hell.

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                           ­      I
                             Hate
                             Love.
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If I could end this all or restart the earth and change just one small action in one small drop of time and death, alter this world that I have been trapped in, maby things wouldn't be like they are now.
Can emotions dissapear?
Can you please stop this fear?
Can heaven hear my tears?
Does love really last for years?
No.
Emotions stay forever.
Even god can't end your fear.
Heaven hates your tears.
Love is fake.
Deal with it.
.Bye.

there goes your sanity!

Sleeping at dusk
An eyeless black husk
As mist swirls around
She drops to the ground
Her head is getting further and further from her skull
But away is the only place she has to go.
The sky's turning white
Her hands feel so warm
She needs to get out
Decisions lie torn
They lie on the ground soeroundong
Her figure. The baiege plauge will cause, Her to pull on the trigger.

Run from me.
Did you run from me?
No baby runs faster into my arms, i'll cause you no harm.
I can softly soothe my icelace fingers into the sockets of your eyes, my hands may shake but it's only from love as I move your veiny white eyes to my palms, let them melt like your voice let them drip like your bottom half on my ***.
And now you just can't look away, i'll stare into your eyes forevermore, forevermore.
Oh darling, you're trying so hard to get away, Its so ******* cute that you cant tell that i'll make you stay.
My lips on your lips, my teeth bite your tongue, harder harder hurting hurting, copper ink spills through our kiss, and your tongue dripps so lonely from your cold purple lips.
You have my heart so i can take you apart until you give me yours.
Brush your hair with my fingers, dear you'll stay with me forever.
Your soft large thighs, so easy to cut, fingernails, fingernails, fingernails in the ruts. Pull the muscle, bone and flesh apart, make art my lovely canvas. Now i can taste what you really are, my beautiful work of art. we fill your legs with our wedding cake, oh baby aren't we so cute?
Can't run from me now, your mine and you love me but you don't say it enough so I bit off your tongue.
And Im Here smoking cigarettes yet still i want a kiss, burns at the back of your mouth.
Every strand of hair burns just like candle wick, your skin, it cracks moaning like a house full of poisen.
You only moan when I hurt you, but hey, it's sexyer this way aint it?