I'm crying in my room at 2 AM.
Don't take frizzy hair and midnight cuddles for granted, they leave when you least expect.
When I'm not thinking I get lost in your sweet cottin candy eyes.
And I know it's not for me, those cottin candy eyes and midnight curls.
Still I'll wish for starry kisses and porkipine nights.
Still I'll miss the Cold soda filled drinking from the hose and laughing till Sunday.
Im not the religion filled lightshow, that you said I was one day. I can't help but wish I could be me how you see me.
You have a strawberry swirl sundae and I'm happy you can keep it.
My mint chocolate chip still breaks my teeth every night I try to lick it off the floor
I'm happy for you and him
For him and you.
So don't look back at my flickering lights just walk away with your strawberry banana sundae, I'll be okay.
This poem is about my best friend with midnight curls and Cotten candy Eyes. I might not see her again for awhile, but it's okay, I'm okay I'm happy for her. I just wish I didn't feel this hurt about it. I really ******* hope it doesn't show, but I'm happy for her and i will be okay without her. Sorry I'm rambling, lol this is dumb. Anyway hope y'all are having an amazing incubation period! Feel free to give me some feedback in comments or pm me if you want I always try to make a point to respond.
Julia what a grievous injustice you did to me, a
Pariah you've create when you stole my heart; a
Messiah it's to me for it house my light Like
Jeremaiah the prophet I will lament with a
terrible sob; I will flood my cheeks with tears till my
miserable self follows sleep to the world of darkness. Oh!
Adorable Julia has flee with my merriment so no more
laughable cloud on my horizon only a memory of a
Fickle lover that stole my joy and flee within a
twinkle of an eye like the stars in the sky: what a
miracle it's she has left my soul behind I will
Buckle it up and give it to the company of my
solitude where he will reflect on past deeds and
attitude that makes other souls shook and recoil in
multitude because of the touch of evil darkness and the
magnitude of it in my empty pariah's heart and life.
These is a new poem I wrote Itwas supposeto be in my book Banal tells , but unfortunately I could not help sharing it out where with you guys. I will hav to replace it when i can .
I just want someone to understand
Understand the pain of waking up every morning to ******* that breaks me down to nothing.
Understand the loneliness I suffer from because my mother can't see the hugs she hasn't given me since I was 6
Understand the scars on my wrists that I did to myself cause I have zero self control.
Understand that I need to be sure your not going to leave me because it's so hard to meet people due to my social anxiety.
Understand that I've gone through a lot and when some days I'm off and seem sad it's because my life doesn't seem to get any better.
Understand that I don't want to hear his name or hear anything of him because he left me I didn't leave him and if he wanted me back for a daughter he could have came back.
Understand if I say I'm dead, great, or fine that I'm slowly contemplating my life and that I don't really want to talk about my problems.
Understand that when I try and talk to you I really want to talk to you and that you may mean alot to me and alot is more than some people can get.
It's almost 5am and can't sleep hoping maybe a miracle will hit
The world is complicated
the cure to cancer is
well at least they shouldn´t be
sadly they are
or at least we make them.
It should be so easy
as deciding which box to check, yes, no or maybe
just like we did as kids.
But we grew up
and it´s not that easy anymore
it´s not just yes and no
it is way more complex.
It may be de decision of a lifetime
or maybe it isn´t.
Are we in it with 100% of our heart
or just 70%
because these 30% could make the difference between
the best and the worst
between right and wrong.
It is not just our heart or head deciding
they both have to aline,
and that is so complicated.
For everyone who is at a bad place right now, this is a wakeup call. Grab a pen and paper and write everything thats on your mind down. I promise it will help.
Someone once told me I should write it down
What I feel, think, everything thats on my mind.
Because when you write you´re the most honest.
You don´t have to hide anything, don´t have to hold back
you can give all your feelings a place to go.
Just let it flow.
And thats what I did,
I just let it all out.
Everything that was on my mind
but in the end I realised
that all I wrote about was you.
Maybe it was because you´re stuck in my head.
Maybe it was because you really were just that special.
But most likely it was that I just didn´t know myself
so I just wrote about you instead
so here is were it´s gonna´ end
and I´ll find myself.
I just want to say good luck
To my past lives
Who now have future guys without me
I hope they treat you great
And wont procrastinate
When you need them to take out their dang socks out of the dryer.
And maybe stop leaving the window open in your mom's minivan
I rotate myself like a rotisserie chicken
So I can feel the burn of emptiness left in me.
I turn and turn
Until my mood is dire and my humor drier
From this mirage of hope.
That dissipates to the back of what's left of my crowded mind.
I find myself looking at wedding rings in pawn shops.
Knowing that I will eventually find myself back
At this exact counter adding a total to the line of wedding rings.
Like my parents before,
They bring me a bringing of upbringings
On how to fall into dislike.
And talking mad ****.
Are common vocabulary words for my ears
And it make me uncomfortable when it is absent.
Like this isnt right…
So I just want to say good luck.
To my future wives
Who want to live life without me
I’m sure i'll prepare you
For next guy you’ll date
And for every guy you'll hate
Walls close in
Choices walk out
Fear takes the win
Friends only dreams
Nothing what it seems
Death looks divine
Go for a ride
No fear of crashing
No more words
No more laughing
Nothing but shards
Survive the passing
Sometimes the fall is slow, sometimes it comes all at once.
Bang, do something tiny again
Not to much just throw the stone And pray for attention
Ill start being reckless just to be noticed
But it doesn't really make a difference when there only around for your kinred
"Performing isn't really your talent son"
"Maybe you should stay behind the stage where you belong"
Nothing else to say
Still its been days and days
And that protective contact is still so far away
But hey its been like this for a life time now
The middle child
Centre of it all Never the first and no where near the final
So whats this whining for
At this point why would you hope for more
They will be back with the rest of the tribe
Till then just sit around and waste that useless time
I’m tired of this drive
In this empty car
On these empty streets
To my empty apartment
With its empty walls
To go to sleep in my empty bed
To have my empty dreams
To wake up