sometimes self-care looks like
blocking their contact
not because you've moved on
but because you haven't.
love is painful. love is endless waiting for someone to turn back when you too, are walking away. or trying, at least. but what is relief without knowing how pain chokes your breath?
love doesn't know what he wants.
love is confusion and a pendulum of emotions. Love doesn't want to hurt people, but when it comes to me, love forgets that my heart bleeds too.
is love unrequited? maybe. maybe I don't want to accept it. maybe love loves someone else's smile now. maybe love's heart doesn't drop when he sees me in class, maybe love ignores what his heart is whispering.
maybe love will see this and relive his scrapbook of us. maybe love will confront the right people. or maybe he will scroll past this.
unrequited love is painful, but being drawn in and left is **** near-apocalyptic. if nothing else, we made good breakup poetry.
maybe love lacks courage. maybe that's an easier excuse for me to accept. it is far easier to imagine a heart that cowers from the truth rather than one whose truth I don't recognise. is it time to walk away without looking back? I just want to lie to myself tonight. but then again, can you blame me?
you ask if i still love you
and i tell you
time will grain your polaroids
and bury your touch
"you were a parade of red flags but I screamed colour blind from the rooftops.
scarlet is the colour of both love and betrayal."
the colour of betrayal far outshines Vantablack
its depth is a cumulus cloud of chaos and agony
tinged with the wails of a wilting wallflower
bloodied scarlet, a glimmer of unrequited love
purple promises writ into skin, bruised and broken
his voice, honey-coated ballads
his frame; a haiku
three lines and one more
do people like this exist?
I'm lonely. I admit it. I'm tired of sending viral posts to my 'friends' hoping for a genuine conversation. It's been ages since I heard "how are you". I'm beginning to think you guys don't care. it hurts even more that I know you don't.
replying to my messages is not a conversation, specifically not in a group chat.
I wonder what they're all so busy doing anyway, to forget the existence of someone they share lunch, stationery and moments with.
I know what you will say, mom, that its alright, no big deal. "you'll find your real friends in college anyway". but everybody needs a friend.
I know I do.
i dont want your sympathy.
" you're not mature enough to handle it"
so apparently, I'm old enough to handle a back-breaking amount of schoolwork, the stress of living up to your expectations and that of two dozen relatives, the standards of a dysfunctional society, but NOT one, single BOY.
2. " it distracts you from your studying"
well no, not really.
Do you know what really is distracting, though? having to keep your favourite people a secret. all day every day. The anxiety of being discovered gnaws at your very existence. Deleted chats, deleted phone logs, deleted feelings. suppressing your emotions long enough to brainwash myself into thinking I don't care about him anymore. and YOU think I'm acting differently these days?
3. " it's not part of our culture."
since when did love become a foreign commodity? we are but robots with our hearts switched off till the age of 20. And when a trail of incomplete relationships shadows us everywhere, we're left fending for ourselves. Just cos no one taught us to love others right.
work in progress
the last time you kissed me
you had a throat allergy
(I caught it)
It pains each time I swallow
and so I can say for sure
every breath I take
whispers your name to me
your love was like the
new moon (you swore it was there
but i couldn’t feel it)
braving the tempest
hope plunges on; horizon guides;
their lighthouse signals dawn
your compass guides
across uncharted terrains;
your light leads the way.
you took my roses
and left your thorns
they sting every time
I hear you've moved on.
found a guy who wont buy flowers
but is growing roses for me
If i had to write on this, he said
"I'd write it about you."
heroes are ordinary people.
writing your name with my own hands
in the 'Absent' column on the blackboard
chalk and tears; unpredictable fears
you're still not here.
3 hours of staring at the screen
still not here.
and i will grow roses on my windowsill hoping you follow the butterflies back to me...//
miss you with the fury of a million scorching suns
i see faces in the trees
hear whispers in the breeze
there are worlds in the clouds
silken spirits skim the seas
this sounds spookier than i thought.
i stared away last night
looking for a
s h o o t i n g s t a r
fell asleep under an ebony blanket
an unfulfilled wish orbiting my mind
"i wish you were here."
"i love you.
and its all that matters."
I was your Venus when you were my Sun,
Pulling me closer just to watch me burn.
Your fingers trace my skin
and I forget what
I was going to
Today was amazing.
sparkle in his eyes,
stars spell out constellations
clouded over pain,
darkened skies , shifting shadows,
vortex of anguish.
the joy and pain in his eyes.
Once he told me
"loving you is like breathing
how can i stop?"
and now hes holding his breath.
I cant watch you go and not do anything about it
let you go.
im clinging on to you
a shipwreck when you're my anchor
meaningless maybe. But you're my oxygen.
youre the sparkle in my eyes and the song
in my head youre my world and like i said
i really love you. i always did always will and i'll
fight . I'll fight you if you leave i'll fight me if i let you go.
what i wouldnt give for you to trust me. love me. want me. need me. what i wouldnt risk if it meant you would stay for good.
youre the one and there will never be another lover boy
because i know i break promises but this once i have something to live for and i promise i'll love you to eternity
if only you'll have me.
give us another chance.
there's a bullet hole
where my heart
Its just us against the World.
four fifty one deg-
ree Fahrenheit; your letters
burning on the stove
i know what love is
love is pain.
love is handing them the knife to slash at your chains
but hoping they
don't stab you in
love is disappointment
it is waiting up for messages never sent
hoping someone remembers
to remember you.
Love is a word over spent
very seldom meant
its the arrow of Cupid that kills you.
its an emotion that disappears
after it catches you unaware
its the want not the need that fills you
both elixir and poison
the apocalypse in the horizon
the fear of the loss that thrills you.
the walls not the bridges
the cuts not the stitches
the fire and the thirst that wills you.
love just is.
i was going to say i didn't need words to
understand that your heart was singing
that i could see you blush mildly,
your eyes lit up when i smiled.
then i remembered you couldn't hear me.
i know this is hard.
but i love you
happy valentines mon amour
The reason so many children are born in November
2. Archies/ Hallmark marketing strategy.
3. A day that will never ever meet your expectations.
4. when love is in the air but you're ALWAYS ALWAYS breathing a different air.
5. The ultimate reason to buy yourself chocolates and throw a pity party
6. A day when single people will only see couples walking hand in hand; God's Magnum Opus hell of a psychology experiment.
dont walk away from me saying i deserve better
'we accept the love we think we deserve'
im sure too