Stop texting
Stop calling
Stop making me feel special
Just stop
Stop saying you love me
Stop lying

Im not sure if i already have moved on
But i saw you in my dream
I don’t know what does it mean
If i just missed you or you’re thinking of me
But im happy
Im happy that i saw you
Even if it was a dream

Im in my own house but i cant breath
Im with my family but I can’t be who i am
I wanna go out
Jut a little while to be me
The real me
To breath
Im suffocating
And getting depressed
Day by day
I can’t breath

There is a reason I said I'd be happy alone
It wasn't because I thought I'd be happy alone
it was because I know if I loved someone
then it fells apart
i might not make it
its easier to be alone
because what if you learn you need love then you don't have it
what if you like it and lean on it
what if you shape your life around it  then fells apart
can you even survive it?
that kind of pain
losing love is like dying
the only difference is death ends
this, it could be forever

you're too good for me
i know it and i think you know it too
i should get out of your own way
it's wrong for feeling this way
deep down i know it
there's no happy ending to this story

i'll walk away
no looking back
but before that
im going to say it
for the first time and probably the last
there's no stopping me

its ok if you don't feel the same way
i will smile every time you'll smile
i will laugh every time you'll laugh
but if you ever find yourself looking for me
i'll still be here
waiting for you

Dad look
I am good at taking care my sibling
Would you look at me now?

Dad look
I have perfect scores in all of my tests
Would you look at me now?

Dad look
I'm good at volleyball
Would you look at me now?

Dad Look
I'm already in college
Would you look at me now?

Dad Look
I graduate with honor
Would you look at me now?

Dad I'm getting tired now
Look at me dad
What do you want me to do?
For you to look at me

Don't you see?
I want you to show me
Not to hide me

Don't you hear?
I am begging

I want you to say I am your girl
Not to whisper in my ears
But say to the world

Don't you feel?
I am belittling myself
Everytime you say I am your childhood friend

What should I do?
For you to be proud of me
For me to be enough
For you to be contented

I am yours
Is that not enough?

when i get sick
you're by my side
when i cry
your by my side
when i have troubles
you know the right words to say
when i have problems
you know the right words to say

but now
you're not by my side
when i am sick or when i cry
no one know the right words to say
when i have troubles or problems

i am not trying to be unfair or ungrateful
but i miss you
and right now
you is what i need

What i need right know is be on my side
Be a father to me
comfort me like a parent would do
talk to me in a perspective of a parent
not in a perspective of a man
you are my father
please be on my side

i know parenting is hard
i understand that much
but please
just this once father
side with me
dont answer in a perceptive of a man

that is what i need right now

He was like a cigarette
I know he's bad for me
But it feels so good
What can I do, am already addicted
And I knew I should stop
Just like that
I cant stop

I feel it
My lungs, my heart
Its crying begging to stop
But I cant
I cant stop
I'm loving it
I'm loving him

Even though it's hurting me inside
Its addicting
The feeling and the pain

I have anxiety
And no one else knew
By now, I slowly getting used to it (I think)
I know I'm the one that can cure me
No one else but me
So why bother tell to anyone

But first I have to believe in myself
Start to think that "I'm worth it and I'm enough"
I have to realize that life is not that bad as I think
what i need is to believe in myself
It's hard for me to believe in me

Maybe someday
I see myself
And realized
That I am important like everybody else

Somewhere between then and now,
It went from “Mom, stop telling me what to do”
To “Mom, please tell me what to do”

Somewhere between then and now,
It went from “Mom, you don’t understand”
To “Mom, I don’t understand”

Somewhere between then and now,
It went from “Mom, stop asking so many questions”
To “Mom, I have so many questions”

Somewhere between then and now,
It went from “Mom, leave me alone”
To “Mom, never leave my side”

Somewhere between then and now,
I realized the other half of my heart was always
The person who created it

i am drowning
should i do this?
can i do this?
i am screaming

i am 24 for god sake
but here i am
still dont know what to do
doubting everything
full of uncertainty

i am 24 years old
and yet here i am
unsure about everything
dont know a single thing about herself

why dreams is hard to achieve
specially if your just average

i know from the beginning
i'll fail
but here i am still feeling like a failure
why am i crying
why am i so disappointed

i failed
what do i expect from me
i am expecting this  out come from the very begging
but secretly hoping the opposite

maybe
its wrong for me to dream high
im not a hard worker
i am not brainy
i should expect less from me

i am not like them
i should dream less
expect a bare minimum

Loving you is easy
No need to learn it
I just felt and knew i love you
It didn’t took me years
It just second of a conversation
And i already new
But why is that
Unloving you is hard
I have to learn it
It took me years and i still love you
Even google have a wrong answer
Is there a way to learn to unlove you

They say “life is beautiful”
They say “living is a gift”
Then why does it feels like everyday is hell
Why do i need to fight though the day to have another day
Why do i need to suffer
When all i want is to be happy
If life is beautiful and life is a gift
Why mine is a nightmare

I smile
I say the proper responds
I do the right thing
I study hard
I follow the right tract
Im a perfect daughter
And also
Im a robot

What really inside of the robot
Me
I’m sad but no know notice
Im screaming for help but no sound
Im studying in college
But Im not really sure what i want
Im an adult but I don’t know anything about me
Im not happy and not enjoying my life
I think I dead inside

I can’t breath with you around
I can’t breath seeing you with other people
Hugging other people
Kissing other people
Flirting other people
I can’t breath
But i want to be with you
I want to keep breathing with you around
I want to live with you around
I want to keep breathing because of you

People can’t live without love
Living means nothing if you have nothing to love
But love is scary
Specially if the person you love doesn’t love you back
Love is scary
Because if you love someone they also have the right to hurt you as hell

The marriage is over for a decade
So why keep trying
Why bother to saving it
Why don’t you give it up
If your hurting again and again
I just don't get it

When we’re younger
We always dream to be a doctor, lawyer, etc. when we grew up
But now we all grew up
We all wanted to be free, happy, we want freedom
We want to stop all this responsibilities even for a day
And you know what we all wanted when we all grew up?
To bring back time and be a kid again

Admit it, We all vulnerable
But why can’t we admit it
Why is that we keep denying it
Why we keep proving ourselves wrong
Is it ego? Is it pride?
Why were all ashamed to show it or even talk about it?

If we show some vulnerability, do we look less of ourselves?
If we show some vulnerability, should we be ashamed of ourselves?
If we show some vulnerability, does anyone accept us?

When were young
Our parents always tell us
That their is always right time for something
But how will we know when is the right time?

I want a love that is really mine
Love with no fear
Love whole heartedly
I want a love that never ends

Everyone want to be loved
We dream to be loved someday
And hoping to find the one
But how can someone love you
If you don’t even love yourself

The first step to find the love you deserve
Is to love yourself

He's favorite color is blue
His obsess with the color blue
To the point that
The feeling he feels is blue

Life is like a business world
You need people
But you can’t trust them
You can only do is grow big
And maybe someday
You can stand on your own
So no one can hurt or disappoint you

i love you but you love her
why cant you see my love for you
i love you more than she loves you
i will never make you sad or cry
just open your eyes
you'll see shes not worthy of your love
and i do

My depression is getting worst
Im around with my family
But i wish I don't
I can’t be who i am when I around them
So here i am writing
Writing what i feel
Telling about what i feel
Because im about to snap

Im in my own house but i cant breath
Im with my family but I can’t be who i am
I wanna go out
Jut a little while to be me
The be the real me
To breath
Cause im suffocating
And getting depressed
Day by day
I can’t breath
I need air

I always take care other people
I’ve make them smile
I wipe their tears if they cry
I’ll take care of them if they’re sick
I can feel if they are not ok
It’s me

But how come I can’t to it to myself
Im lonely
I'm empty
I feel alone
I can’t to all the things I do to other
So I pretend
And I think
I already master the art of pretending

If love is fading
I’ll just have to love you more everyday
Maybe you’ll never have to leave

If your love the enemy
You have to hurt me even more
Until I feel tired of love

Love is about sharing
Love is about making memories
But love can changed
Even if it can hurt like hell

I know it can hurt me alot
But I’m going to love you even more
I will always loving you
I love you
Until Im tired of love

Sometimes,
The people we love
Doesn’t love us back
But it doesn’t mean
We’re not worth the love
It means
His not the right for you
Someday
The right person
Will be knocking in your door
And in that moment
You will know
That person is the right person

Every single day in this quarantine
My thoughts are eating me alive
I don’t know what to do anymore
Im breaking
Day by day my thoughts are getting worst
Im in the peek of giving up
Everyday my depression is getting worst
Im crying and screaming for help
Deep inside

You hate me being stubborn, So i change
You hate me being needy, So i change
You hate me being friendly, So i change
You hate me being “one of the boys”,So i change
You hate me being party goer, So i change
You hate me being clingy, So i change

But I realized you don’t love me
Because if you love me you won’t change me, you’ll love everything about me

Your with me but I'm not me anymore
I lost myself because of you
And because I don’t wanna lose you

But not anymore
I won’t change myself for you anymore
It’s your choice to accept me or to love me
I won’t change myself now because of you

Mahirap ba akong mahalin?
Or hindi lang talaga ako kamahal mahal.

Am i not important
Bakit lagi akong iniiwan?
Nakakasawa na.
Pagod na ako

Bakit ang hirap ng buhay at ang hirap mabuhay?

you can't tell, you just know
you always do

no man in this earth
could keep secrets
from a woman like you

but i hate this idea
of knowing everything
and saying nothing
i hate this idea
of a woman being silent

sometimes the love you crave
can’t be found in the person you want
and wanting someone is not enough
to have them love you

you have been strong for so long
cry if you need to
scream if it helps

i wish
i wish
for love like this
a love like summer
being kissed by the sun
a love like winter
hugged and covered with snow
a love like night
being lit by the moon’s glow

i pray
i Pray
that this never fades away
many claims of being in love
but non of them ever stay

i hope
i hope
i rely in our love
i rely on your heart
i wish, i hope
i pray we never part

i cannot give you anything aside from comfort and company
you can hold my hands when you’re afraid of the certainties
i would envelope you with my warmth if you feel like you are being tired of everything that seems shaking your peace
you don’t need to worry about giving me any titles or place in your life
in this world and this lifetime
i can be your ultimate person without having the world to know it
it would be ok if it’s between you and me
i will be your constant companion
i’d like you to know that i won’t leave
as long as you need me
i will be here

i wish you loved you
as much as you loved him

understand that you tried your best
and that will always be enough
even when others are incapable
of appreciating it

you’re going to hurt yourself
holding on to the same hands
that pushes you closer to heartache

the heart lingers
in the hand of those
incapable of keeping it safe
and i’ve become one of those people
who fall in love with lies
that sound like the truth

what a deadly feeling it must be
to fall heart first into a space
next to someone incapable
of loving you the way you deserve

and how terrible it must be
to find it difficult
to walk away from someone
you shouldn’t stay with

don’t be his second opinion
don’t be the one he calls
when no one else answers

no matter what you do
no matter how hard you try
sometimes no amount of effort
can prevent you from losing
the people you wish to keep

they always seem to return
when all the hard work is finished
they add nothing to the journey
but bumps and bruises
and yet they wait for you
at the finish line with their hands open
expecting to be greeted with kindness even when they’ve spend their energy being unkind toward you. taking credit for what you’ve done alone taking credit for your joy when all they’ve ever done
was hurt you

stop chasing things
that make you lose yourself