Oh beloved country
Why do I cry for you
I have been told this is not my home
But how can this be
When I was born on your very soil
Country of division
The cry of the wild
Can we not sing one song
Sing in unison
Like a dry, barren and cracked piece of earth
We long for rain
Hungry for peace
And a reign without prejudice
Where all men are equal
And we **** no more
The ground has seeped up all the spilt blood
It has kept record of every innocent life lost
Until one day it will offer up the dead
And every sword shall be held accountable

They're here
They're upon us
Arrived while the world was sleeping
While in a coma
Scheming eyes behind rubbery masks
Painted smiles with veneered teeth
Keeping us still
Keeping us on mute
Dosed up on pills
Chemically induced
Stolen our minds
Stolen our thoughts
While looking in our eyes
The scent of our fear energises them
Who are they you ask
Opposition to man
In every profession
Positions of power
To practice control
To take control
Sending terror through the airwaves
Mankind their guinea pig
Experiments performed without your knowledge
While watching your favourite movie
Portholes everywhere
Who can you trust
No-one
Who can you tell
No-one
For the person next to you
Might be more than just ... Someone

When you enter the garden of life you will find many different shapes and sizes
The colours of the rainbow live therein
Violet blue daffodils and the blood red rose of love
Yellow, pink and orange are all around
Some trees stand so lofty they almost scrape the sky
Others grow happily in the shade of the taller trees
The velvet green lawn unfolds like a giant sized carpet
And highlights its surroundings as a backdrop to a stage
Considering that we are all just actors on a stage after all
No man can deny another his place in the sun
The tree can not tell the flower to uproot itself and grow elsewhere
The rose is fragile and fragrant
The cactus is rugged and requires almost no care
As one of these flowers in this garden
So we are all different from one another
Yet we all derive from one source
With the knowledge of all-ness comes the greater wholeness

can you see me
do you recognise me
did you acknowledge me in the womb
or did you pay me no heed
a lovechild i was born
it was not i who rejected you
but you who rejected me
why should i carry your burden
your guilt
joined by an umbilical cord
your pain became my hurt
your anxiety became my fear
your rejection my way of life
my demon to fight
a void of baby photos
sparked an avalanche of photos in adult life
always posing in search of finding my face in a crowd
a mother harbouring a secret
an absent father
see me
see me
see me please
cries a silent voice inside
i seek your approval
day in night out
a closer look in the mirror
reveals a story untold
though a thousand people around me
i am always alone

written by sean achilleos 09 september 2018©

The day everything became nothing
And nothing became everything
Because nothing matters
Yet matter is everything
And everything always matters
Because of matter, a matter matters
And even when nothing matters
It's still a matter of matter
The fact that it matters creates matter
It is a matter of matter within itself

When I was young I wanted to be older
Nowadays I wonder whether I should walk on my hands so that gravity can pull my skin in the opposite direction
Gravity can be so unkind, yet I guess it keeps me grounded
I see miserable people live long lives
And the good die young
Like and Love ... some still battle the difference
Many get what they want
But is it what they need
Or just a need for want ...

Hard shall be your days
Gloom shall be your nights
To bring you to that point
The point of creation
A love hate situation
One can't exist without the other
No sorrow
No creativity
Depression more than a companion
Pain is your gain
Salty tears you shall cry
Carry your burden and blessing
To obtain your title
The title of ARTIST
While others admire or criticise
Often misunderstood
Always evolving
Always saying
This is my finest work
Until your next creation
Only free for moments short lived
For a fleeting moment in the spotlight
A brief moment on the stage

When I was a child  
I thought I'd live forever  
Now that I'm an adult  
I tell myself that I simply won't die  
But that someday I'll be raptured into a cosmic sphere of ecstasy
To read the engraved words on a tombstone  
I once was where you are now ... And someday you'll be where I am now  
But where are you  
You never returned to tell the end of the story  
Left me hanging in the air ... Waiting ... Guessing  
Thus I accept  
Darkness to light  
Flesh to spirit  
And while in the midst of an incomplete journey
A story unwritten    
I have no choice  
But to enjoy the ride

Nature itself has boundaries by which it abides
The waters of the sea can only go as far as the shore
Unless instructed otherwise
Likewise you need to set boundaries in your own life
You are responsible for who you allow entry into your life
Keep the darkness at bay
But remain open to the light
Who is the light you may ask
Those who bring forth the best in you
And remember not everyone who says "I love you" is necessarily of the light
Weeds grow among flowers too you know
Who is the darkness
Those who practice envy, strife, and sow destruction
Who reflect their dislike of themselves upon others
Avoid such people
Do not engage
Lest they reel you into their bottomless pit of despair
Like a fly you may get tangled in a web
From which there might be no escape
And soon the spider will emerge to devour its prey
Learn from your mistakes
That's what mistakes are about
For you to obtain knowledge
But NEVER repeat the lesson
Forgive but keep a distance
Never allow your heart to be darkened
It will only make your enemies happy
The world consists of givers and takers
No one stands in the middle
Trust your gut
It will never tell you a fib
Keep the good and cast away the bad
But never forget what you had learned from the bad
LEST YOU REPEAT IT
Don't be afraid to use the word "no"
You'll be surprised how much power such a small word contains
Always try to do the right thing
And remember that the journey which you are on
Is YOUR responsibility alone
So remain true to yourself
And don't forget to enjoy the ride while you are at it

Beautiful heart
A heart not to be worn on your sleeve
In search of Love in a pit of snakes
White rose among the scarlet
Only to be found once in a lifetime
Disappeared it has
Like a cat sleeping in a windowsill
A common site overlooked
It was always there
The vase in the window now is missing
The one with the golden heart
Locked away far from sight
Never again to grant the opportunity to be shattered
A beautiful heart
The holy grail
Shall be difficult to find

When someone curses at you
Be silent
For their own words shall become their pitfall
When falsely accused
Be silent
By the time the truth prevails
Your silence would've caused them more shame and embarrassment
When dealing with one who has a hot temper
Be silent
And he shall have no option but to flee from you
When an arrogant man always assumes to be right
Be silent
For fate shall expose his darkest secret in public
Never enter into an argument with a fool
Be silent
Because he will retaliate to everything you say ... even if he knows he's wrong
And you shall be reeled into stooping to his level
For every word holds power
Therefore it's better to be silent
Than to utter words of regret
Lies are like boomerangs
They depart from their sender's lips
And never find a place to nest
They roam like restless spirits
Only to return at the most inopportune time

Something lies beyond
The power of Love is unity
Fear thrives on division
Life online ... A virtual existence
An implementation of fear
Something unseen is at work
Is the beast on his way
Or perhaps already here
A blanket of darkness has covered the earth
An awkward silence hangs in the air
And fear has become tangible
The earth seems sad and tired
Then a division line shall be drawn
Across earth and sea
The time to separate sheep from goat has come
And what is hidden shall be exposed
Like an overripe fruit that has fallen from a tree
Burst open for all to see what was lurking inside

Black dog, black dog
Why do you follow me
What do you want
Why do you rob me of experiencing joy
I try to flee ... It's no good
Wherever I go
There you are too
I fled to a foreign country in aid to escape you
But low and behold there you were
Waiting to welcome me at the airport
Black dog, black dog
Aren't you embarrassed
You ought to be ashamed of yourself
I wish I could **** you
I would if I could
But then I'll have to die too
And I refuse to give you any form of satisfaction
I intend to stick around just to spite you
What do I have that you want so badly
You feed off me
You're nothing but a parasite ... Leech
Black dog, black dog
I can't stand the feel of you
You're a brain drain
Keep me chained at home
Yet you grant me creativity
But at a price of course
I love to hate you
And worst of all ... You know this
A paradox of gross contrast
Black dog, black dog
I have a plan up my sleeve
I'm going to buy a brand new pair of pliers
Then, slowly ... One by one
I'm gonna pull those teeth of gleaming white
I will destroy your deadly bite

I feel so far removed from the carefree days of my youth
From when the wind brushed my face
I could smile without feeling an ache inside
Now our souls have become dark
My aura is charcoal
Clear waters have become blood stained
My disappointment runs deeper than a bottomless pit
And I still don't have the answers

He found himself living in apartment 3
Then he moved to apartment 33
From there he travelled abroad
Only to return
Now he lives in room 7
He thought it would've been a house
Though the smallest of all
From this room 7 ... Magic flows
Up into the heavens
It reaches so far
Beyond the stars
The real stars
Not mortal beings who claim to be so
At night if you look closely
You shall observe an electric blue streak
Reaching upwards towards the sky
See to whence it leads
This line requires no phone
And shall remain uninterrupted
Until one day
He shall go to where this blue streak leadeth

To read people like books
I've read many books in my time
Some good ... Some bad
Some deep ... Some sad
Some books don't relate to their covers whatsoever
Some consist of a simplistic cover
Yet relay a deeper story
Others have an immaculate cover
But with no substance inside ... Blank pages
And yes everybody can write a book
But not every book is a Best Seller

The world is not divided between black or white

The world is not divided between gay or straight

The world is not divided between rich or poor

The world is not divided between male or female

The world is simply divided between the good and the bad

And you can, and you will find them

On both sides of the fence

Like milk that has curdled
So you have left a sour taste in my mouth
Empty words and promises
Are what you have left to keep you company
You lied with no conscience
You lied because it suited your needs
To attention seek was your game
To thrive on empathy was your aim
But do you ... yes you ... practice what you preach ... I believe not
For every time you fell
I picked you up
Graciously of course you thanked me ... as if it were my duty
Like a man on a tightrope was I
When you abruptly removed the safety net from underneath me
Therefore your run to person I shall be no more
And just like me
You will have to learn to dance upon the wire
Like a trapeze in a circus
And there shall be no safety net to catch you when you fall

Were we lovers
Or only good friends
I still don't know
Although in the same timezone
But somehow always in different seasons
We seem to miss one another
Like ships passing in the night
You seem to be doing well
Or so your pictures say
One never knows with you
Using your smile as a guise
But your eyes give you away
You are more transparent than you think
Wrapped in cellophane you are

The sun is far away
Rusty coloured leaves are curled up against the sidewalk
Like a homeless drunk trying to keep warm
Everything looks pale outside
As the wind whistles through the bare trees
Time to reflect
Cold body, warm heart
Am I where I should be
Am I in the right season
The seasons of my life
The picture always seems different when looking through a window
Until you're outside in the cold
No season can be escaped
To sail on through is all you can do
The days are shorter and the nights seem endless
Hold on, hold out
Soon the ice will melt
And what has been hidden will be revealed

There are but two paths to tread by
Many categories
That of peace or conflict
That of hope or the hopeless
Ultimately divided into two
That of Love and fear
Some might say
Love and hate
The ultimate path is Love
But also the most challenging
To Love through the darkness
To Love through the storms of doubt
To Love through the hatred
To Love through adversity
Choose to Love

Mother you made me wear your coat of shame
A garment of lies you had created for me
A coat that never really belonged to me
I wore it as a cover-up
I wore it to please you
I wore it because I love you
And even though you're gone
I use love not in the past form
However one day my porcelain mask fell off
It hit the ground and shattered
It was time for me to spread my wings
My turn to fly ...
I was unable to continue playing the part
A role I had been given ... Like an actor in a play
A voice cried from deep within ... Be yourself!!!
Yet the weeds around my neck were still choking me
Words of obscenity they whispered in my ears ... ungrateful ******* is he
Oh how I wished they could have shared in the weight of my coat
A different tune they might have sung
They never felt its weight ... They never smelt its stench
How many times did I wish to take it off and wash it clean
Or simply toss it into the fire
Yet that coat taught me a lot
I could never lie to myself again ... A mask I could never wear again
They slip, they fall, they break, and they melt when the truth prevails
Yet from behind that mask I learned things
That no professor could ever have taught me

Like black and white keys on a piano
They fit like hand to glove
Darkness strengthens the light
And the light contrasts the dark
To play a song on the ivory key only...would be unlikely
To only play your song on the ebony key may start to sound out of tune
Therefore play your life song on both the ebony and the ivory keys
And you shall find a melody
Your life song of harmony
For there is darkness in the light
It makes the light shine brighter
And there is always a light in the dark

Cracked
I thought you were perfect
Thought you were the final ingredient to making my life complete ... perfect!
Only to find that you were cracked
Yes, flawed!
At first I wanted to cast you away
Then came a rude awakening
I discovered something about myself
I found that I was cracked too
That the perfection I was seeking was driven by the imperfection in me  
I was seeking my own wholeness in you
Yet I am flawed
Yet I am cracked
Perfection now holds a different meaning
The right imperfection makes perfect
And we all need some of that imperfect perfectness

S. Achilleos
June 20th, 2020

I can feel it in the air

I can feel it everywhere

A darkness has crept in

The world has gone mad

I'm fighting an invisible fight

There is no love left among mankind

I feel an icy chill down my spine

Everyone is on edge

Zero tolerance for one another

And even a kind deed is misinterpreted

People have lost all common sense

Conscience has gone

And the big 'I' with its best friend EGO has moved to the front of the line  

There is no room for God in a Godless world

For people have chosen hatred over Love

When someone tells you that you're their best friend
You have to ask yourself if they are yours

Ek is 'n alleen vlieënde uil
Ek ry op die rug van die wind
Niemand kan my hou nie
Niemand kan my vang nie
Ek lei 'n nagtelike lewe
Vol misterie
Deur die dag slaap ek
En ek **** ... ek **** nogal baie
Ek sit hier bo in my boom
Ek kyk af op die mensdom
Dom is omtrent die woord
Ek wonder hoeveel wysheid julle het
Ek wonder of julle weet *** groot 'n gebrek aan wysheid julle het
Dan in die stilte van die nag sing ek hoo hoo
Om die bygelowiges en die klein gelowiges te rattle
Veral wanneer ek op hulle huis se dak gaan sit
Dadelik skreeu hulle ... Iemand gaan dood!
Dan lag ek lekker in my vlerk vir die klomp simpel goed
Wat hieronder my rond skarrel ... Aih julle klomp liggelowige
My oë kyk deur julle
En ek weet dat julle my nie verstaan nie
*** kan julle tog ... Nooit!!!
Ek bly verre weg van die mens en die dom
Wat net wil moor en vernietig ... Di's julle natuur
Ek hou my een kant ... Want ek is een kant

Don't give up on Love
Just because a rogue crossed your life's path

Don't give up on Love
Because a snake came a sailing your way

Don't give up on Love
Just because you confused lust for Love

Don't give up on Love
Because you mistook thorny weeds for flowers

For there is a season for a tree to be pruned
As every boomerang cast at you
Has no other choice but to return to its sender

Don't give up on Love

Like shells
Beautiful to look at but hollow inside
To be crushed and transformed to sand
For you to walk on

Don't give up on Love
For your season to reap might be closer than you know

Never give up on Love

For years I turned right
For years I turned left
Believing it would bring me some form of happiness
Perhaps the lack of Love in my life caused me to do so
However I soon discovered that turning only in one direction
Left me moving in a circle
Thus was my cycle ... Thus was my life
Going round and round like a Ferris wheel
In ways I guess it kept me sane
In practice it wasted a lot of time ... Precious time
And so my soul had to be dragged through the dark woods
Lost in a maze
A whirlpool called life
A gloomy forest filled with hungry wolves
The only way out was to try all exits ... Break the pattern
To turn in all directions
From afar I could see a light
This light reflected ... As light usually does
But this light also attracted
I focused on it ... Progressed to where it was coming from
I was not afraid
I ignored the growling sounds of wolves trying to close in on me
Gnashing their teeth as if they could already ******* blood
I soldiered on towards the light
Finally I had reached the open door
I stepped into the light as if it had been waiting for me
Then I turned to see from whence I had come
But the ocean water had washed my footprints away
I was standing on a sandy shore
Children playing in the golden sand ... Building sandcastles
People sunbathing ... Sapphire blue waters
In the air the distinct smell of coconut
A mirror in the sky reflecting my life story
I was able to edit it ... pause and delete
Cut out the bad parts
But then I realised that without them my journey would've been incomplete

You earthlings...
You think you know it all
Yet you're so far behind that you think you're first
You were last in the queue
But turned your back on the rest
And pretended to be first in line
You suffer from a lack of compassion
A lack of understanding
And worst of all a severe lack of Love
You live in your falsely created world
Always looking for a leader
Yet you are incapable of following
You cling to your god called money
Everyone gets weighed on the same scales
You have no idea what a harmonious existence is about
Because you are forever fighting about land that belongs to nobody
It belongs to the earth you *******
Yet you gave it different names and marked it as your territory
Will you take it with you when you die foolish man?
You create wars and **** innocent people
And once the chaos is over
You receive a badge and get branded as a hero
Earthlings love chasing the wind
It's your favourite hobby
Nothing makes you happier
You weigh success in monetary terms
Because it's all you idiots know
You destroy what is precious and beautiful
Your unconditional love is conditional
Why don't you learn from the animal kingdom?
They belong to no political party
No organized religious group
They are simply happy to breathe
You see the world in black and white
Yet you have full colour vision
But tradition prevents you from activating it
You select what you want to know
And condemn what you don't understand

Persona of void
Snippets taken from a cluster of characters
This is who you are
A collage of people
Devoid of Self
Like a stone covered in moss
You are consumed
An empty coat hanger
Ready to be draped in any garment
But no matter which face you decide to wear
Nothing seems to fit just right
And the mask you sport
Somehow always tends to slip

I had to say goodbye to save my mind
I had to leave you in the past where you belong
You will never grow up
And I've grown too old to lie
Too over it to pretend
If I had lied
My emotions would have persecuted me
And my body language would have given me away
I don't wish it different
Because I don't like wishing in vain
The race has begun
But I'm not running
The fight is on
But I'm not fighting

Everything passes
Like seasons that come and go
What you deem important today
Becomes yesterday's headlines
Soon something else will seem more important
Don't get stuck in a time capsule
From which there is no escape
Don't look back
Avoid that pillar of salt
Don't dream of what could have been
If it was meant to be
It would have happened
The hands of a clock can not be turned back
Nor can they be pushed one inch forward
Synchronise your heart and beat in time

A mind that has taken too many beatings
Too much hurt
Too much loss
Too much rejection
Too much pain
Enough sorrow to last several lifetimes
A brain with a band aid on it
A band aid called antidepressants
But once the sticky band aid is carefully removed
Like a broken arm removed from a sling
It requires time to function as before
Exposed and fragile
Like an infant taking baby steps
One step at a time
Slowly moving forward
Slowly
Yet moving
Just moving
Keep moving
Slowly but surely
While identifying the pain
Moving closer
Moving forward
Closer and closer
To the winning line
You are home FREE

There may be those who have more than you
However only in material value
They might possess a bigger bank balance
Drive a better car
Live in a luxury mansion adorned in splendour
Wear attire bearing famous names
But they will never be as free as you
Even if you were a bird in a cage
You'd still be freer than they are
Because you hold freedom of mind

Untroubled was he
But the blows of life left holes in him
Now the icy cold wind blows through those holes
It chills the heart
It chills the soul
He desperately tries to fill those holes
Like pieces of cardboard stuck in a broken window
He tries to camouflage the pain
Keep the turbulent wind at bay
Keep the cold out
But also to obscure the view
To prevent anyone from taking a look inside
Pretend is the name of the game
And he plays it all too well
But even games come to an end
Pause and delete
Before the game becomes too destructive
And there might be nothing left to salvage
Log out and exit
Game over

Get to the Market

Some people take the back road
Others use the highway
Some arrive early
Some arrive late

Get the market

We all follow our own way
No persuasion
No need to jump a red light
A river will flow where it flows
Carve its own way

Get to the market

Some exhilarate
Others doddle along the way
Walk or run
You will arrive when you get there

Get to the market

Oh glutton of sorrow
Nothing is ever sorrowful enough
One sorrow on another
Give me something to be sorrowful about, she cries!
When all is well ... All is not well with the sorrow glutton
Simply because there is nothing to relentlessly complain about
In her little corner of the world
Forever the victim she paints
Anyone willing to listen to her songs of sorrow
She will surely pull down with her
Into the depths of despair
A bottomless darkened pit
Virtual vampire of energy
Too lazy to live on her own fuel of life
To live off other people's sympathy
Oh it makes her thrive
Never does she utter a trusted word
For it is surely someone else's thought she stole
Blank canvas without a frame
Forming a collage
A collage of other people's personalities
Yet none of her own
The sympathy card she will play
Time and time again
Until you shout ... Game over!
Only then will she look for another to continue her sorrowful game

Always afraid that time might run out
Always afraid that I haven't lived enough
Done enough ... gone the extra mile
Living in a state of chase
Looking back ... was I wild enough
Did I take enough chances ... was I crazy enough when young
Can the tape rewind
Can I live it all over again
Just to make sure that it actually occurred
Was I really there
Why did it pass so quick
Like a fleeting dream in the night
I blinked and the years had sped past
Half a century strong

I’ve been so many people
But I just can’t seem to find one that fits like a glove
I’ve been a people pleaser, a revolutionist
But it has all fallen by the wayside
How do you know who you are
How do you know who you are not

I autopilot can pretend
I autopilot can feel
I may go about my chores
I may go unnoticed
Punctual is my middle name
But can you see what I feel
And can you feel what I see
Do you know what lies beneath the surface
You who are of many words
I could make you laugh
I could make you feel great
I could even cause myself to lose
To enable you to win
Deep within myself I hide
I dream of better days to come
I autopilot remain on mute throughout the days
I speak only when spoken to
I watch the moving of the trees from my favourite window in my home
And I dream ... simply dream ... just dream

There once was a man who had a lover
One day his lover died
Shortly thereafter his cat died
A genie appeared to the man who stayed behind
He asked the man who he'd wish back if he could
His cat, or his lover
My cat the man replied
Why asked the genie
The man replied
It's simple, my cat never intentionally hurt me

I love walking in the wind
clutching my jacket
I love eating ice cream in the cold
I love the way your eyes change colour when you're mad ... It turns me on
I love it when you say no
but you really mean to say yes
I love you not because you asked me to
but out of free will
and your tattoo reads ... I love you

To forgive the unforgivable
To carry on as if nothing's wrong
Though you have too much on your mind
And a mountain on each shoulder
To push through the storm
Because you know the calm is waiting
Like a creature of nature who hibernates during the long and cold winter months
Until the warmth of the sun is felt
The ice slowly decays
Invisibly cocoon yourself from all that is around you
And know that better is to come
Better is on its way
Pay no attention to the shadows
For that is what they are ... Mere shadows
The more you look at them ... The taller they grow
Cast luminosity and it shall terminate their existence
For the dark can not exist in the light
But the light of Love will banish all darkness

There once was a man
Who lived a long long time ago
He went by the name of Jesus
Sadly He committed horrendous crimes
He healed the sick
Caused the blind to see
Walked on the water
And dispelled any form of iniquity
And for ALL the above He received the death penalty
Today there are those who steal, ****** and ****
Their sentence ...
You shall go to a place we call prison and reside there for free
There you shall receive three meals a day ... On time
You shall have a roof over your head and a warm bed to sleep in
You shall stay there for a period of time
While you're there you can watch TV and have full use of the gym
Once your stay has expired
You shall be released back into society
Where you most-likely will commit the same offence
But not to worry
You will always have a place to call home
Where the cycle shall repeat itself
And as for the rest of society
Who cares about the people who were affected by your heinous crimes
As long as you weren't injured while committing them
Sleep peacefully