You are the sun and you are the moon;
I hold you to the highest regard
at every wake and at every sleep.
I miss you on the days I don’t rise,
but you always rise,
regardless of the weather.
I solely like rain.
I like the way your condensation
pours over me
when we are in between the sheets,
the madness of the storm between your pelvis,
thrusting thunder and lightning bolts into my bones
and I’m ignited with the blaze
you course through my body.
Your touch leaves me with
trailing my thighs
to follow back into the bed
where we lay together
and it reminds me
I need the rain to so desperately put me out
when you set over the hills
and run away from me again.
You’re so different at night.
You’re cool and quiet, but you’re so cool.
You have the stars
and the comets
and the constellations
and the Milky Way,
but you choose my terrestrial body
every single time
you come out.
You remove clouds
and whisper through the stillness in the sunset
to bask in your luminescence with you,
just one more time,
the last time,
With a sliver under my nose and above my chin,
the stars dance on you,
the comets open their legs for you,
the constellations bend over for you,
the Milky Way wrap her arms around you,
you are a constant and never move.
We hold our stare like the lights will go out
and I stand in the moon light with you
just to cringe in the sun with you
the next day
and the next day
and the next day
and the next day.
And we do this
and I keep a part of you
hanging on my lips,
the crescent that never fades.
The sun caresses my face
And kisses me with tender care.
The wind tousles my hair
While the breeze floats across my unarmed skin.
My iced coffee is cold and bitter on my lips;
I rise to meet the glorious day.
The bell rings in its tower
10 strikes to mark the early hour.
The sky, a piercing and unabashed blue
A color unlike any other hue.
The vernal equinox still lies weeks ahead
But I'll enjoy this brief, warm stead.
I listen as the birds converse and sing their transient songs
I smile, and do my best to whistle along.
Today is a good day.
There is a place, deeply buried,
that you magically healed
So lightly, your mindful touch
caressed the pained places
Gingerly and one by one, my scars,
sweetly you cleansed them
Broke the seals of time and
slid open the panes
To let your purifying light pour in
That magic of yours, was love
and being in your presence
Is the Sun on my pale marked skin
after years hiding in darkness
The sun is what you are to me.
You shine brightly and radiantly.
With a radiance that fills my heart with joy and light.
That light that fills my heart and life with smiles.
Making the world of mine turn, the seasons change, with the tides,
Of your heart and soul.
Great waves of extasy overtake me.
When my hand and heart are in your caring hands.
My love for you is like the moon.
For without the sun, It would be covered in darkness
Never to share its light with anyone.
I love how the buildings bathe in the morning sun,
The gold and glimmer of hope,
The shimmer and ray of what could,
And in the mirrored reflection,
Caught on windows and thresholds,
I saw myself smiling,
Like the bright-eyed child,
Full of promise and trust,
Not quite naïve but innocent,
Curious like a kitten,
Looking for a distraction,
In the forms of many kinds of fun,
Even if to others it was a bore of a chore,
For I was that girl who loved routine,
Knowing everything and that sense of the familiar,
Where nothing could surprise me,
And I would not be easily offended,
Taken aback was something I only started doing,
At the age of twenty-one,
Or was it really when I was so done,
With the fact that leaving high school,
Meant leaving the physical place in which I learned,
For the jocks and snobs and nerds and pretty girls,
They grew up too like me going on into reality,
Of the concrete jungle in the big city,
The capital of money and sobriety,
Where it's glitz and glam in grids on the Gram,
But the twittering said otherwise,
Oh how were we so blinded by the rise,
Of growing pains and pangs,
Falling in and out of love with ourselves,
As much as we crush upon potential lovers,
None of whom were suitors,
Just mere flings to keep us company,
While we ourselves figured out an escape,
For there's nothing more that we despise,
Than that of the lies, we keep telling ourselves,
That this life is the best,
That I'm happy where I'm at,
In this career or otherwise,
But still, we cry ourselves to sleep at night,
Sometimes sobbing during the day,
In bathroom stalls like ghouls,
Thinking what could've possibly gone wrong,
What'd I do to deserve such a test,
And how could I a top scoring geek fail miserably at best,
Yet we see it again this endless cycle,
As the sun paints a masterpiece in the sky,
Melting away all the tension of the day,
As it slowly dims then darken your way,
Telling you to go back to sleep,
To keep the dream alive,
For I do love how the sun paints the town gold,
Early in the morning,
When all is quiet and lonely,
A kind of peace that feels like it's not all bad,
This life could really be a sanctuary, maybe.
The yellow aura
spiraled my night elf hunter avatar
as the DUN-DUMM
of false accommplishment
incited my addiction to
I had just Leveled up.
The quest giver
gave me a choice
a less shitty Dagger
I took the shitty boots
fuck the system
they looked cooler.
I was going to stomp cave spiders anyway,
what's the point of relinquishing
looking damn fine.
for an extra Attack Point?
Shitty boots ALL Day long.
A naked human avatar
facing a naked gnome
Named: "Buzz Lightyear"
He is Also dancing,
at crotch height.
This is Typical starting zone
I stayed up
watching Toonami all night
Naruto, Bleech, Inuyasha.
I could tell the sun came up
not because there was a window in my Kitchen,
Tom and Jerry came on.
when Tom and Jerry came on
you were no longer pulling an
You're pulling a
"Drink enough Soda
to get through the rest
of the day-er"
My entire diet
these past two days
has consisted of Gushers & Vault
Clearly Coca-Cola is superior
was superior to Mountain Dew.
Which is the typical choice drink
of my internet brethren.
I don't know why I dyed my hair black nobody online could see it
But it made me feel
like my Night Elf Avatar
I wanted long white hair
I realized that's impossible
in 6th grade
So I Bought & Settled for Black
At least I could be like
"L" from death note,
Long sleeve white shirt, jeans
with no shoes.
I could also be
any other black-haired charecter
From any other angsty Anime
Because of course I loved angsty Anime
Because I held my cell phone like "L"
From Death Note.
I always dreamed
of this singing venus fly trap.
A Fuzzy Memory with a lost Origin
I realized seven years later
the Singing venus flytrap in my head
was AUDREY 2
from Little Shop Of Horrors.
Netflix reunited us in College
Audrey 2 finally Serenaded Me.
I listened with Voyeuristic Intentions
As memory saprilings grew
into the full songs
relieving the void in my soul
Lingering for a Man to be attacked
by a singing venus fly trap
in his own kitchen.
But only once,
Because I firmly beleived
movies should only be seen once
until I stopped
dyeing my hair black.
Despite watching Space jam
more times than any kid born in 1995 Should have
all the kids born in 1995
watched space jam
more than any of them should have
because they were born in 1995.
when I first saw little shop of horrors
it aired just before osmosis jones.
I love osmosis jones
almost as much as I love
Buzz lightyear, of Star Command
Buzz lightyears robot companion XR
reminded me of Cyberchase
and to this day Cyberchase
is the best show to watch
when you have no idea
who Gilbert Godfrey is.
Zoombinis is better
than oregon trail.
and also better
than Tom and Jerry.
but not better
than leveling my night elf Hunter.
"FEED ME A PIZZA!"
I think I spent more time
getting my Zoombinis
to look just right
then I Spent deciding
what outfit to wear
Black striped Hoodie
Unwashed and worn every day
Grey skulls all over it, because
of course it had grey skulls all over it.
No actually, THESE black socks.
Okay, got gushers
and my Coca-Cola.
I now take as much time
to choose my outfit as
designing the perfect Zoombini.
however I have yet to replace
I think that every grade before sixth grade is fourth grade
and 6th grade is basically 7th grade
which is to say my memory skips them both
to remember ending eighth grade
I miss being cool on the Internet
Whilst lame and forgotten in real life.
like black sock
wasn't quite as good
as that other Black sock.
I wanna go back.
To the seperation
Of who we pretend to be
Vs. who we actually are.
To be dramatic again.
An ideal self on the internet
Who is obviouslly not the real you
is decades more comforting
than Some Characatureized
Today I was offered a choice
Work A minimum wage job
continue my useless college degree.
I decided to write a poem, because
fuck the system.
If I am to Decide where to respawn from
Let it be poetry.
There is no spiraling Yellow aura
Sometimes there is snapping though.
Or a lost memory
of A singing venus Fly Trap.
I am a pretend person.
just now, I have skin.
You can touch me
I breath without a Macro
or even pressing any keys.
I cannot bring myself to
Watch Space Jam again.
I can Identify Gilbert Godfrey's voice.
I will buy my children zoombinis
And it will collect dust
When all they want
Is to watch the fifth Toy Story movie
Way more than any kid born in 2020 should.
And all the kids born in 2020
Will Watch the fifth Toy Story Movie
Way more than they should
will have been born
And I will rant
about the Missing LGM
and Warp Darkmatter
betraying Buzz Lightyear
By joining Evil Emperor Zurg
So Buzz was forced
to get three new Partners
Princess Mira Nova
and Osmosis Jones.
because I will have Forgotten
Booster & XR.
Because Booster and XR
Never made a god-damned Facebook Profile.
Nobody exists anymore.
We are all represented by our avatars
holding ourselfs up to the standards
of our photoshopped reflections
Being disappointed and overwhelmed
I Take pills to forget that I am
Acting Like myself
but can't find any evidence of Existing.
Besides these memories
of who i used to be.
I want my internet persona
to be nothing like me
So that I may focus on myself
in the real world coherently.
I want thick black lines
dividing mental Venn diagrams
I want Tom and Jerry
To signal me
That it is morning, again.