I like it when you hold me
When I can look into your eyes
For you are beauty, a sense of familiarity, the feeling that you are all I need in my life.
We dress in all black when we’re apart,
Two walking shadows trying to escape the dark.
You told me you wanted to feel something,
And you thought cutting yourself open would be a start.
You’re too young to feel this empty,
But what is one to feel without a heart.
Love never told us what to do, but your friends did.
All of the people who couldn’t keep a lover,
Seemed to give the only advice that you listened to.
I tried to bring you to your senses,
But your hearing and our vision seemed to fail.
I said that we should take a break,
And you just told me to go to hell.
I’ve burned to this very day,
My heart too heavy for any scale.
Our home became just another house,
One side of the closet cleaned out.
My patience and hair are running thin.
I just want to be back with you again.
I threw everything away that you left,
Except for our memories, and only the best.
The pills couldn’t rid my mind of you,
But you’re long gone,
And all you left me with was the song
That was your laughter
And the art
That was your smile.
i was in love more times than i can count
before i met you in the heat of summer
in the wrong coffee shop
on the wrong street
but maybe i was never in love before you
every girl who’s hands have mingled with mine
have always felt forced
it was anxiety hugging my body
tighter than any of them ever could
and a cloud of desperation
separating them from me
love was always about power
or who could lust the hardest
i always won.
i always left first.
you’ve showed me that isn’t love at all
but i beg the questions
what is love
who am i to say
who are you to give it to me
who are we to create feelings only we can feel
we are artists making notes of reactions
while we show each other a world we never knew existed
the things that have always happened
in our peripheral vision
but never felt important to notice
this is what i want to feel
you probably think you drained me that afternoon
stole the last bit of hope I had that love is more than bare bodies pressed against each other in the dark
but I still have the same fire in me I’ve had since I was six years old
hearing my father slur his words at 2 am while I pretended to sleep, trembling hands and sweaty palms until we make it home
and I swore I’d never choose a bottle and a hollow heart over someone I was meant to love
but if I didn’t need a man then to show me I was worth more than empty promises and inconsistent affection
what makes you think I’d need one now?
As we sat there on that worn white lifeguard’s tower,
chill breeze, I looked deep into your brown eyes.
The feeling it gave struck deep.
The surf worn beach which throbbed and eroded
with no rhythm, not like we had,
over millions of years. What a privilege it was to witness it then.
What a privilege it was to witness you there,
in that moonlight reflection.
The tide receded, we dressed.
Brass buckles, white cotton and denim.
We slept in the car
‘til the birds woke us.
I need something more than you can give me,
I breathe for something you can't bring me
Something deeper to make me feel like I'm livin'
I long for dancing, long nights of sweet love and champagne
I'm young, wild, but not free
I'm chained of own will and want to break free
I'm scared to face the truth in front of my closed eyes
I need to man up, it's time...
It's time to throw these chains away and finally live.
Be free. Be me.
Be whoever I want to be.
Too old to believe that Time has no end.
Too greedy of life to give up on the world.
Annoyed by the laughter of schoolboys on the bus,
though laughing much louder when no one's listening.
Pretending hearing rain when it's raining,
however tinnitus of death rings first bells in his ears.
He knows that the worst is yet to come,
but it is not coming, what gives him a glimpse of hope.
His mirror reflection has got necklace around his neck,
but he is not sure if it's an jewellery, or a rope.
He left all Gods behind, but still turns around,
as there's no road ahead, no footprints behind.
He sees in the far the land of his youth,
but every time he tries to seize it with hand, it got wiped down.
He calls his own name, but no one replies.
He kisses young girls in his dreams, but he's already learned
that the dreams are to fade soon and to erase it all.
Too old to be fooled that Time has no end,
too scared of the death to give up on himself.
I will paint the dawn
with our long lost song,
and cry to the moon
that we've moved along.
I'll sit beneath her
all night long,
and tell her our story
how we didn't belong.
I'll sing to her softly,
a sweet little birdsong,
about a love story
meant to be lifelong.
I'll tell her we were strong,
but couldn't hold on.
We were too headstrong,
just stringing along.
We couldn't see ourselves
being in the wrong.
I remember crying
all day long,
trying to shove myself along
to see the difference
between right and wrong.
I couldn't prolong
the end of our love song.
I remember singing
this same little birdsong,
when you heard me
you played along,
but trying to rush me
for you couldn't stay long.
I remember your eyes
tearing with goodbyes,
as I sang the last note
of my loving little song.
I watched you walk away
feet scraping along,
and that was the end
of our loving little birdsong.
Where will you be in ten years,
Where were you in years before?
Maybe I started trying way
and maybe I should have stopped
I don't really know because
I wasn't sane enough until
some years before this point.
I grew up too carefree,
and never truly understood how
dangerous it could be
until I had a baby in my arms.
Because babies tell you
that you're no longer
a child yourself,
but still I ignored you,
and all the responsibilities
that came with you.
I believed in you
and your power to survive without me,
and you did, you survived,
but never really felt the joys of life,
or got the care you deserved.
You're too old now for me to raise,
too late for me to make much of a change,
all I can do is ask your forgiveness,
and with your children hope
for another chance.
how many foreigners do you have to let travel across your body
to feel the way you did before he broke you
darling they don't fit inside the holes he left
you know better than to believe this is how you forget
burn the bed sheets he laid on, the only place he ever wanted you
shred apart all of the memories until the pieces are too minuscule for your mind to replay
learn to breathe without his hand in yours
and he will feel it, when your heart stops wanting him
silently remind him you are the best thing he ever lost