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Dr Strange Oct 2014
I feel like a loser stuck on the same level of life
Dying on the same exact part time after time again
Retry retry retry
I remember retry more fluently than my own name
Just wanted to be someone
Mean "special" in another's heart
Instead I received a dagger in my own
As the blood spills in circle around me
Forming a barrier I cannot cross
I stand, because I don't believe I deserve to sit
Absorbing the hatred towards myself
For becoming this being that I am not
What was I thinking when I decided to follow through with this plan
I realized it was wrong so long ago but it was a simpler time
Back than I was ignorant to the fact on what life really was
That it wasn't about being liked
It wasn't about being everyone's favorite
Now that I know the truth nothing is the same
I look upon my hands screaming fake at the top my lungs
I am fake, this is not who I am
It's too late for me though
Cause though I realize that this not who I am it is too late turn back
Not that there is a back to turn to
All I see is a trail of ashes because I burnt the real me out of existence
I don't even remember what I look like behind the mask
How could of been so blind
Now I cry in my sleep as attempt to remove the mask
Knowing that it is permanently glued to my face
For it is now my face
Because my true face has dissolved to waste
Thank you quin and all who have gave suggestions
Kyle Wheaton Sep 2012
Retry
Resend
Repair

A year without finishing anything
Identical twins with different faces
Wires connected to every answer: trip trip trip
Then a click and it’s all sky sky sky
Everything you’ve ever wanted, just above
A year without poetry

Repair
Resend
Retry
Joann Apr 2015
Do it again
Over and over
Redo and retry
But you need to get it right perfectionist
No more slacking
But not that there ever was
150% 24/7
Aren't you tired?
No
Shouldn't you give up for now and try later?
No
Why?
Because I need it to be perfect right now
Carolina Jun 2021
My eyes, wet.
My lips, dried.
The fantasies, they're all about a new sunrise.
And I wonder why
you play with my mind.
Your screams echoing at night.
And, again, I cry.
The pain is only mine.
I hate this confessional poetry style,
but it lets me fly
as I was high.
And once again I stop the time;
you're warm for me to remind.
I find the light
within my sight;
On a sunny day
I pass you by,
and I reach the sky.
Me and I,
we unify.
My only thought
I should retry.
Indrew C Sep 2014
Hovering pass the city lights
my mind lies awake
full of the psychedelic treats you offer

latched on the various trances I felt
I make sure it was you
and not the demon who awoke
as a ball of thunderous energy
feeding the insatiable desire for vices and sin

As the body grows lapse
we know things are about to fall apart
leaving us starving for more
and voiding the reality we're in

Our minds retry to go back
while our souls will forever be lost
in the wonder provided by the mysterious ghost
of acid and MDMA
Ken Pepiton Sep 2021
If I can't have…
none can have…

two ways - have you ever
did you have

proteins and hormones,
structural bits and action tics
touched
just

bare
there at the base of the idea
we
were thinking better good enough
and
it leaked.

My cultural first reaction was
put my finger in the dam,
then
I listed floward, hearing a scream
from all the rivers in me

let the dammed thing break out,
and cover the earth
like a comforting fog, not smog,

rolling hills, none higher than kansas
to the gulf,
globally, no grades greater than 6%,
all bicycle friendly,
ask
has this been done, nearly, if
yes,
ask can it be prevented in the future, if
no chance,
then now is functional begin next.
Testing access to next if if ifity
effie ebbtide Jul 2018
they did away my electricity well
i don't know the make of the rubber they used
i don't know the color of water i dissipate in
they did away my electricity well

phonograph to dream to vacuum
to morse to bytes to
noise

my electricity well they did away
i can't hear the sounds of radio static
i can hear the sounds of radio silence
my electricity well they did away

steam to diesel to tube
to blood to bone to antimatter

when they jumpstarted me i sparked and shocked
i hope that nobody was hurt (but i was)
my screen was displaying impossible images
you are on the fastest impossible route

circuit to node to qubit to
ash

how did they create scrolling polygons
in a realm where dimension is reserved for the monarchs
of y and x axes, whose scepters bang
on the tiltshifting ground, undulating below?

vector to pixel to
line to happening
Maxine Schmidt Oct 2012
I can’t, I sigh.
But you have to, you assert.
There isn’t the time, I claim.
But I want it, you argue.
I want to give it, but not right now or today, I rationalize.
What if I needed it, you probe.
There are things I need too, but my plate is full, I exclaim.
Then I must find it somewhere else, you profess.
I can do it, I will give it to you, I assure.
When will that be and how long will it take, you inquire.
When I am done, I blubber.
Well, I am done, you declare.
Please, I beg
When will you be done, you retry.
Never, I murmur.
Never is too long, you calculate.
But-* I begin.  
No buts, what are you so busy with, you demand.
Loving you, I whisper.
Reassurance, it can be both positive and negative. With past experiences though, I know how negative it can be when demanded. Its hard enough to give to someone when you're already giving them your whole heart, and yet they still desire it. What is with this obsessive need for desire when you already have me, all of me?
Sethnicity May 2015
How
I retry
Backside Pen Slide
Lyrics spirits quips glide
Elbows Shins Blood Blot Dried
When Wind Blows Wicked Words Rise
Idioms Soul Grind Infinite rails Applied
Thoughts Ollie Pop Manual quill Pipe bomb
Ultra Stick Ink Drips 360 Plot Shov-it Twist
Push Kick I Pedal Prose Skate Tricks, Morphemes Stick.
Perpetual Pendulums Prop People to Place Peckers in Potato Grits

Times Up!
this is how I land A "10 Set" Bomb.
Experimenting with new structures.
Kick-Flip to Fakie Lyrical 180.
Roberta Day Aug 2011
My love for you knows no bounds
Regardless of how upsetting you tend to be
One more confession following one more round
I'm far from blind but can't quite see

A connection I miss, intimacy and truth
Your voice was music to my ears
Essentially we are now escaping our youth
Mentally, you've got a couple more years

Promises were made that cease to exist
(Promises were made to be broken?)
I disagree though, I'm to blame for this
Fear is my ailment for why I haven't spoken

"There's nothing to fear but fear itself"
Straight from the horse's mouth
I've failed to comply with my word as well
Still filled with excess doubt

You managed to remove that away from a while
Guaranteed, a job well done
With even just a crack of a smile
I received my prize, I proudly won

The game is over, no lives left
No mushrooms to revive me now
If it was that simple, I'd hit 'select'
And 'retry' with better understanding how

Starting over begins the same
But the direction and obstacles change
A new route is followed in vain
For not enough experienced has been gained

You're such a charmer, I know
I still haven't fully broken your spell
I'm currently trying my hand at laying low
I question your thoughts; by now you should know me well

I want inside your head and heart
Where does your pain emerge from?
My curiosity is insatiable once I've felt a spark
I will continue to listen until your confession is done

I don't force a smile, but it's not completely real
I can maintain being civil with you
When you attempt to hide things you failed to conceal
My submissive attitude is what I must subdue

Why do I continue to feel this ache?
Does mental illness play a possible factor?
The idea of romanctic love I can't seem to shake
Yet if it's real, it inevitably won't matter

According to them, I don't know who you are
Yet I feel I've known all along
And even so, I've fallen this hard
I simply hope you'll still play me that song
Oh yeah, I play video games.
Annie White Nov 2010
I want to light this flame again
Joyously rekindle my tiny hope
That one day we retry what happened when
I looked into love’s kaleidoscope

It could never be exactly the same
Without warming those frozen decembers
Just like a fire, with no similar flame
We could never retrieve these dying embers
J Aug 2015
I always wonder why I bothered to try,
Knowing I'd end up failing and cry.
So curious, why?
What's worse is my attempt to retry.

I'll always end up failing,
I'll always be praying
For whatever I'm aiming
However, it'll end up fading.

It's fine cause I've learnt my lesson.
To carefully listen
To the voices that deafens.
Hope for the suffering to lessen.

I learn to give up on everything
I need to stop bugging
So quit worrying
The answer to this, is stop breathing.
Why bother trying
Leafar Mamede Apr 2012
I
I juggle with shades and figures and also skulls
Vicious and virtuous
Sinister and righteous
Vile and saintly
And that goes on and on and on
Countless shades that conceal the sun and quaintly
Also the mournful moon withdrawn
Multitudinous figures who speak and screech
And conjure from the vessel adrift of humanity
Myriad skulls with freedom of speech
Or wouldn't they be inhumanity

There is insanity in my sanity

I like to be in the drift
To go with the flow
To be unattached of enlist
For lost causes and “shows”

There is insanity in my sanity!

I like to sail more than a smidgen
To grasp and see the proper bliss:
From fear comes religion
From insanity comes questionings, comes this

Oh, yes! There is insanity in my sanity!

II
I keep juggling with my depth and core
Hopping from one to another
Cautiously not to let any of them drop for
The stream of existence or it will be smothered
And I’ll lose my sense of course
Leading me towards my martyr
Wave by wave sinking my vital force
Until the border of overwhelming disorder
That is imminent but in slow-motion
For I’ve yet an entire ocean
To sail across before I diagnose if I’m:


The death of my hero
Or
The hero of my death
?

III*
Sound waves of a drifting symphony
Leads me to where the curious compass points
For I'm a sailor simply for another epiphany
And to inscribe the momentum with paints
Of memories of a posterior I
Ready to retry
Indeed I sail through an immaterial hour
For I'm a sailor until the idyllic harbor
That arises in the unending horizon
MereCat Jan 2015
My mother told me
That the sky begins anew each night
In its race to run laps of the moon
And so each day is a chance to
Retry at life and forget
How yesterday our constellations
Became too numerous
And too tangled
In our attempts to almost touch
As if God washed us clean like linen
And ran us through the mangle
While we slept
And I always privately thought
That if we humans made constellations
There would surely be stars
That died whilst we still saw them shine
Stars that didn’t begin anew each day
Whatever light they might have dazzled her with
Because sometimes the message got delayed
In the WiFi
And people that we still saw as living
Had used up all their new beginnings
Elsewhere.
New Year and the newest thing that happened
Is that thirteen more stars
Have ridden too hard through their life cycle
And are no longer allowed to press retry
While the world fa-
    l
       l
    s


  i
n
t
  o

    t
   h
  e
i
r

b
    l
      a
    c
    k


   h
  o
  l
  e
s

Paris first.
MereCat Nov 2014
04:14 and the shadows are long
A boy pressed into a rail-side bench
Raises his arms to shelter himself
From the cloudless sky
He ticks off seconds with the twitch of his left knee
And the jump of his unhinging jaw
He falls
He falls nowhere
But flat, back, motionless in his seat
Hands cocooning head like a heavy day’s work
And then digging up and pressing down
Trying to rid himself of the sounds
Which splice him like glass shards
Or screaming shrapnel
And mutilate
His view of a pretty English station
And a blue steam engine
Beaming like the moon for which it was named
04:18 and he sets himself straight
Like ***** shoelaces
Or cards on the mantelpiece
Winds a bit of string
Around his wedding finger
And croons
As a man inside a toddler
Re-wired refrains
Lick his lips like soup stains
       Pack up your troubles…
                Long way to Tipperary…
        In your old kit bag…
                                 I wonder who’s…
                My heart’s right there…
                                 Kissing her now…
         Smile, smile, smile…

And from my compartment
I watch him fade like
An ink blot from a pillow case
While a boy who looks a lot like him
Turns with purposeful avoidance
And takes the opposite view
Of a pretty English station
He soothes the angry creases
Of his forehead
Of his uniform
And smiles
Smiles
Smiles
And mutters to himself
And they said it would be over by Christmas
04:14 and the shadows are long
A boy pressed into a rail-side bench
Jogs his knees
With the obligatory poppy
His mum pushed into the zip of his winter coat
Drooping like a hangnail
He is busied and hassled
By the phone in his palm
It plays an odd kind of game
Where those who die
Are allowed to come back
And press *Retry
Nick Stiltner May 2021
The wind felt different on my neck today,
Slightly colder, unfamiliar,
It was not a feeling I was used to.

But this breeze hasn’t changed at all
There was a spark on the nerves of the cuticles where hair stands ensnaired there had sounds of foundation rock breaking and cracking a lump of clay stepping out of the mold under its own power it’s own fruition at first its unseemly bordering on crude then your curiosity strikes like what will this lump of clay do? will he crash off the table damp too much water tear himself in two brand new asunder asunder asunder I see a rock we have to peek under I have to keep searching but my search has all been for naught but then again looking on those days in the rays I couldn’t wait to find shade is this really the only way yes she says with a sigh so I position my head so my eyes meet sky i guess it’s time to retry so here I go again and again and again and again and again so many times I’ve tried to take flight and sometimes I can’t be but filled with spite but I know The Wheel she spins goes back and goes forth
So it’s on to the next and the next and the next this life is only a quest but that is only a guess
Emmennarr Dec 2018
The longer you linger on my mind
Resides louder the jarring thought: "hatred".
To think that similar synonyms
Could never have previously left my mouth
Was simply a mistake.
You were angelic, a muse at least,
But now the idea of you has turned into
A rusted tombstone littered with dust.
I have learned to despise rather than admire,
Turned from your eyes rather than inquire,
And, perhaps, may yearn to retry rather than conspire...
In a different timeline.
So as I said,
That there will never be a day,
Where the darkness will devour me as prey,
I mean to say,
That because the crazy mind in my fray,
I am viewed as an equal,
Undefeatable,
Uncontrollable,
But still invadable.
It can show it's self,
Disturbing and disgusting thoughts,
But the damage,
Is only an effect,
Not an affect.
Does that make sense?
As insensible as the blocking fog I described,
Ocean of craziness in a strong side,
Thought can be sensed,
But cannot sense the blocking,
Surpressing,
Unlike emotions like hope or anger,
Fear or any other familiar stranger,
That can be beaten,
Or turned as an ally,
Or weapon to darkness that lie,
It is only a mental sensation,
That I can use or have any time in the day.
Like the darkness,
Only when it is thought of,
Can it become part temporarily,
In my brain.
Jarrett Yap Apr 2013
Again I fail
Retry, but to no avail
Wish I could kick the pail
But that also I'll fail

My face went pale
As I set sail
Might need some ginger ale
But I could only wail

In comes a male
Said he, "I'll throw you off the rail"
Again I wail
All because of this mail

Guess I'm going to jail
All I have is my pail
As I walk, as I flail
He is now wagging his tail
Antipodean Jan 2015
I have made a list
Of things to forget
I have not a wish
To repay these debts
Or be reminded
Of time that was spent
Together yet divided
No plan to repent
For immoral sins
To look over my
Regrets, nor take a spin
At the start and retry
To untie the wrongs
Inflicted by you
Feelings which you long
To have me undo
I just want a list
That will get me to
The end of the gist
A new point of view
That won’t include you
But here is the twist
Every time I inspect
My forget you sheet
I begin to reflect
On what I’d delete
Now an unfortunate
Reminding portrait
Of all the things I want to forget
Benji James Aug 2018
Hello, Hellopoetry...
It's been a while
Since I posted last
Don't worry
I haven't been sitting on my '***'
I've just been busy pouring 'Love'
and 'Light' back into my 'Life'
I've been doing things I dream about
Beneath these stars,
Hope glistens in the distance.
I may not have had much time
To write new lines
This is just to check in
So you know I'm alright.
I really miss you guys!
Your comments and love
Refuelled my fire
It made me determined
to aim 'Higher'
I've been doing things
I never thought I'd do.
And Hellopoetry it's all because of you...
This community binds
together through the darkest times
I urge you, Don't ever give up
on whatever it is you love.
For if you give up, you'll find
In the back of your mind
A regret that never fades.
With a little nudge and push
I found some new motivation
To retry and build a new creation.
Steve Page Dec 2021
Trouble reloading
Can't connect
Sending failed
Checking for updates

Tap-to-retry
Swipe to refresh
Try again later
Click YES to reset

Work will be lost
Session expired
Restart device
Attention required

Do Not Remind Me Again
(You know the feeling.)
Dakota J Dawson Jan 2018
Can I pry
The gates open
And abstain

I want to be free
Maybe gay
Not sane

I can't configure
The shapes
In my mind

So am I gay?
I love a man
Desire a woman

Contained
And afraid
Of my choices

Nature and pawn
Or creation
And spawn

He sings
She cries
I can only sigh

The walls collide
I crumble
Air unpurified

It will take a while
Maybe a retry
But why?

I'm not a woman
Nor a man
Just a guy

Without time
No crime
Inside

Lust is dust
Plans turn to rust
Turning out to be a bust
Daniel R Burns Aug 2015
A bad situation,
The darkest cloud.
a fantastic creation,
Covered in a shroud.
A man no more,
a beautiful ghost,
to the aforementioned
we raised a toast.

The more I marched,
the more I carried,
my soul parched,
I wept as we buried.

Chances gone, chances wasted,
the chances I scorned,
and the lies that precede,
I beg the forgiveness of those I mislead.

Further I fall,
my traits disappear.
"I am not me!",
shouts my soul from the rear.
Happiness eludes me,
failure is certain.
I retire, I retry.
Yet, I lose again.

Still, here I stand,
A man just the same.
*The darkness is winning,
But I shall rise again.
Darkin Jul 2014
Lapis Lazuli, cool me.
Catch me, remind me.
Timeless time, endless rhyme
Show me the cycles, the spirals
Inside, Outside, more accurately no sides.
Locality, causality, don't pester me
Just a product of positivity
Hardly the root of reality.
Retry these scenes, never as they seem
Ripping at the seams in the sea
Drink tea
be
Water flows the mystics know
Fire and Stone
Sky and Ground
Resound that sound out loud in the crowd
of you's, me's, I's dancing in the mind
Move clearly like sunshine
In night time be like starshine
Point on a line
orbiting time
Now catch me
cool me
remind me.
J Jul 2015
I wish you were mine,
Your beauty is divine.
Your personality brightly shines.
Your overall is just so fine.

I just look at the sky, wonder why.
No matter how much I try, You'd probably deny.
I'd always do something awry, You'd just decry.
I wouldn't wanna be shy, but you make me wanna cry.
Even when the tears are dry. I'm not the one you'd rely.
Well, I'm not the tough guy,
***** the retry,
F*ck those other guys,
I don't need a reply.
I don't need a goodbye.
I'll just go die.
I am perfectly fine okay. Do not ask if I'm alright cause I am fine :)
eileen mcgreevy Aug 2010
You're born,
You try,
You fail,
So, you recover,
Try again,
Yet you fail, You're weeker,
But, recover,
Do you retry?,
I did,
I tried again,
I succeeded,
I,am, loved,
We ALL get a do over...
Carlo C Gomez Jan 2020
incubator
technological mother
wi-fi our blood vessels
to your eternal link
make us passionate machines
symbiotic connections
programming a love
continuously on update
in lieu of heartbreak
in lieu of heartbreak
in lieu of heartbreak
in lieu of...
fail
buffering
abort
retry
error
Harold r hunt sr Apr 2017
Password please
There are just to many passwords.
strong ones weak ones
large letters small letters.
to many letters not enough.
password please.
you have given the wrong one.
retry the password.
no password you can't get on this site.
change your password you still can't get on this site.
mickey mouse that password is taken.
password please.
IF I KNEW IT I WOULD GIVE IT>
That's it!!!
Giovanna Oct 2020
Nothing's forever
and hardships aren't an exception.
When you are too heavy to fly,
remember all you can do is retry.
What's the problem if people don't believe in you
Make it your reason to break through.
It's okay to be scared of your dream,
atleast you know that it is its extreme.
If you fail on the way,
take a break and mend yourself for the future day.
Never doubt your calibre and go back
cause you didn't come this far to pace back the track.
Keep fightin'
and one day you will find yourself flyin'
Julie Butler Dec 2014
Hating the time difference as usual
Usually just
Un using things
Not really thinking about importance and
Disproving what's changed
It's strange
It's deranged
Intangible
or is
Nothing the same
still I'm grateful
Anything with your name is
Delicious it's
Served at my table
It burns holes in my grace like
We're so unattainable
But I'm so
righteously grateful
for every single word being tasted
like maple
Like syrup
I wanna pour you up
and out
sweet substance
Cut you up with my fork
you disturb meals like
you've been in my mouth
With
Forgets and what torments
everything from lint to fabric
I might wear you but
you, you're still absent
and I'm inadequate
I'm chasing dreams of your necklines
I'd like to relate the responsibility of trying to describe your face
But that's impossible
You're so gorgeous it's like forcing everyone to burn holes inside of trouble
It's like trying to relate these things publicly
try and explain what's important
When all i want is to try to say you're important to me

But you won't hear it
You're too young so you
Do what you want and I
Just lay down
Bite my tongue & I
Retry to say words that might strike you
Instead
Pretend my mouth might
Bite into your neck
That you might let me
Kiss all of the skin
stretching from your head to your knee caps
Make you relapse from my lap
to your shoulders
We are holy
I am yours, girl
You no longer need that discloser
& if you'd decide to be mine
I'll have you wake up adored
and I'll hold every single word.
and no matter what goes on in this world
I just want to rock yours  
and anyway
hey;
We might be worlds away
but i'm not use to being stopped
Kida Price Jul 2014
Anticipate
It's coming soon
Fears in motion
I'll get what's been coming to
Me
Two sided coin
Lands on it's side
Cradle my hopes
It's time to decide
Making certain
That's this time it's a choice I can't deny.
Too far gone
To turn back now
One foot off the ledge
The plummet keeps me from turning
Around
Let it be a quick drop
To the ground
I promise I won't make a sound
Fade in my head
The world that's real
Regardless of how many times I escape it
It penetrates through everything I feel
To forsake a love I didn't plan to steal?
Or the one I promised to embrace at the alter?
How can these truths be altered?
I never planned to falter
My heart was mine to squander.
Telling lies
Prove them right
Diminish any kind of hopeful light
Despite the love I chose to fight
It's easier to hate than it is to try.
I can't reply
I can't retry
Stuck in a rock and an iron maiden
Remove my decision
Sentence me to fading
I never intended to keep you waiting
Hoping that I'm cementing
Something more solid
Than what I've been showing.
That's what I get for knowing
Asking you questions
And you sure as hell told me
Thinking that choosing can be easy
Dying is simple
Just as breathing is instinct
I could have been better
I would have stayed away from the brink
Looking over
Taking cover
All this space
Can cause a person to smother
Any kind of human demeanor
Doing things that should be thought through
But it was always an exception when it came to you.
The home now where my thoughts reside
I keep them caged behind my eyes
They're only allowed to torture me every night
And I know you'll see them from time to time
You can be the strongest man alive
But the weight that buckles me is mine.
I'll hold fast for now, my love
My grip will tighten each time it comes
The waves that push and toss around
My resolve to be safe and sound.
Don't hurry to my side
Don't be responsible for my life
Don't challenge my monsters to a fight
Just stay with me till I fall asleep tonight.
Hold fast, love
Hold tight
If you let go
I too just might
bleh Mar 2017
the heat infects everything, muggy rain batter churning through murk

i close my hand and
   cut the fingers on the lip


  we left the forms on the third floor, which
is the fourth floor, really, english standard  i
  always forget that

the generator hums
  they're     doing something with the piping
     sounds like drills
        but probably isn't


we had to close up early when the vents broke and
   water gushed all over the computers, washed away the paper screens, we were
  told to vacate, but I just stand, you
                in baby blue  slacks, poke me   but i’m too busy  
staring at my bleeding hand


the envelope was addressed here but i didn’t recognize the name,
no, wait, the other; it was to someone
         i knew but
                                         not from around here, i   think


   there is much     and i

fall,  though cushion and sponge
          big eggplant river

              remember when you were eighteen months and you ran and fell into the mirror? under a deep conviction that that was how you passed through, into the image beyond? but instead you just saw it shatter, and it gashed your arm up all the way up along the metal hinge? still have the scar, right? nowadays you don't trust reflections; you're always instead looking for that jagged lip, that latent violence of the edge, it's
   probably a good attitude, really


in the mirror    shattered birds,
               break their necks on  bad design  
too pathetic for tragedy
   don’t worry, we’re all self-hating narcissists here, you’ll
feel right at home-
     chuggin  on woolf and plath
           only seek wisdom from self willed death
       it’s an indulgent bias
             but the living are all such ******* suits, man

  just, look, how
        they are speaking, now, in a row, a flat screen, projected, and words filter out. the faces are blur, the words are static,  but the form is discernible. accusations. charges. prosecute; indite. plaintiff paper wrung. burn the body and pin it to itself. axiomatized sin. society as the codification of a hatred too bored to sustain itself.  i ask for a glass of water, but the words only form wheeze through the strain. Quiet. Your turn to speak is later. i'd run away, but i'm invested now. gotta see how it ends. the screen retches on. do you recognize this letter? i ask, but the words are wheeze-


sorry, sorry, i know, even if it's all about you, i'm just carrying on about-
   yeah.
       Well!
                Then!
                          So!
   Do
           do you-
                        do you prefer to just embrace it?  wear it out, burn it all up at once?
     the repulsive husk at the end is just confirms that there was something prior, after all. death is affirmation as well as negation.
         or           do you prefer to hold it close, hide it away in dark spaces? i mean, that's fine too. a candle rarely lit never burns out. and only a few flickers are all you need for a wax seal; to drip your mark over sheathed words-

        maybe it's the smell. it was sent from my hometown, after all. the name was never important, but the winter and coal. The olfactory of old factories. sorry. i know, but i couldn't resist  
                         how we'd

we'd laugh in silence,
moths flooding through broken glass,
bodies only figured
       as sparks in orbit
     against the amber light
  always
     all too light
light light
  and colour.

weightless as paper
               a paper weight,   wait-
   thrown through a window?
no,   too
                 long ago to recall


  the post office says they'll take it back to the sender. they can retry, repeat. it'll find it's way from there. it's okay, your responsibility is over; hand it over, leave your body at the door. as long as it's still sealed; as long as the envelope's not too frayed to cut, it's still good enough to exchange. interchangeable.   i run, still clutching  

  and   they,     funnel us out,
river down the concrete stairway,
  those echoing closet tones,
to the street below,
  and stare back at the mess, they're
   putting out cones,
                       and handing out ponchos,
for the typhoon rain of summer bare


and- and that's it. so what do you do? it's not entirely rhetorical. what can you do? do you
      just
   scrawl a note, explaining yourself -everything this misplaced message became to you,- over the outside, and send it off? forcibly insert yourself into the conversation? and just, imagine, project some understanding, some insight, that they'll get from it, that you provided?
    just break the seal? you can't open it, can you? it was never meant for you. hell, what answers would be found there, in words for another?
  but   perhaps-
    perhaps   there are secret codes; messages, not in the words themselves, or the letters, but only to be found and understood by the eavesdropper, the guilty. that outside, absent third party, on the boundary of it all; just gazing in, standing there, speechless, beyond the mirrors glare

    
      but that's just fantasy


or, perhaps, do you prefer to just throw it all away from the get go; define yourself purely around the sense of loss? in the end, that's fine too. but just remember, for better or worse, even misery has diminishing returns



   i mean, that's all there is, right? in the end, we just keep on going, until we don't. it's all the same; read a letter, burn a letter, send a letter. but, even if eros and thanatos are twin faces, ananke is still out there, on the edge, poking their cheek
Ken Pepiton Dec 2022
So called, taker of the offered gift.
-- some say he is the lazyman, some say holy
here's this day, wit you and me in it, see/
clever berdach clown curio
here's whose telling who's story, as if
what is it, the touche engarde
peace re distance, engaged,
- final gloss, if it makes peace
touch me with a sign, signal peace first
at a distance,
a whistle, and a wavy, hey
what's new?
Finding any finer points
to press
into service? Dialoging with Daemon's.
-- spirits claiming truth makes nothing free.
so all who aim at nothing know it.

In a time, we all hold, in stories
of who we were
when only sense talkers lived
on the dryland,
relatives of mine and yours lived
on the dryland…
- we came as children, already
- teachers and feeders were here.
- we became boys, we learned
- we learned letters let one
- become any believable,
- why not factor, a will,
- and we was only me,
- suddenlies occur,
- and this one was you…
- we the writer/reading mind, me

- I said, I see no other, I must do some new--ness
- necessary how ness options,
- so sleep came and gave me hats,
- each hat held a dreamtime,
- I had artist intuition, I knew the use of gifts.
As a I shudder when I hear "the burden of the Lord"
the long forbidden phrase, banned
to any professor

becoming the story all boys and girls know by heart.
-Grace comes with a price, Christ failed to pay,
according to the institutions of religionized authority.

Augury. Spill the dove's guts and wish on the liver spots.

Been there, done that.
Played the game, read the book, watched the trilogy.

Drama serves to open wedoms, welcome, become dear,
pay up front for an hour or two of laughing,
at the royal fool retelling the savior story.
-----------
cut to Danny Kaye, close up wink,
check out the Emperor's New Mind.
-----------
whole world of inventions making our link occur,
instant occurences, technical tools for making joy.
Happy hellos, that each have good byes, good be witcha.
Turn up the house lights. See your role,
take your proper bow, on your mark
pirouette on a paradigm./
Roll in the Phrygian dime, tales. Fascis./ what
could that mean, in a peace making tale,
told in the fallout shelter,
after the legend of the Alamo lost all credibility.

Staged form,
dance expressed
in silent wordwise opera,
quest for meaning, go riverwise, be rain,
be one drop
of your kind of thing,
falling splat… near where the whole fallen man story started,
timewise, around the time Jacob dreamed,
what would seem the right thing to do,
that's a question from Hebrew Schule, if you
were Jacob, and I, your brother, keeper
of our father's flocks… do you take usus fructus abusus,
of our father's lands and wells?

Forethought set piece,
a mental drama
in the literal jungle of guesses men have left,
scribbles in sand, gigabits aligned in assorted sense,
pearling stones in wide shallow streams,
reflecting fractal suns,

rented cyberspace poet taste tests,
poetaster proofs of progress, testimony-

witness if I lie, catch me if you can,
lest I lean on my own pile of reasons
for being any thing at all, as a man, I mean,
not as a stack of sense
I
balance by leaning lightly into winding Jello
time winds of reasons after imaginations,
shifting actual pairs of dimes,
Phrygian capped Liberty,
she who welcomes po', any shade,
sifting fine sense to hold one particular
God's thoughts, so no jot or tittle is ever lost,
God knows, pro-verbs pro-cede acting as if
any who opens the habitate, is visited,
by the visitor who gave reason worth,
the truth you test through living it out, once,

logic, orderly paths to production at scale,
odds increase
as new minds come online, wondering
if I had the tool for the task at hand,
how might I use such a tool.
Money and data, both lack any good, save
the use that can be made of each concept,
each mind framing paradigm building tool,

take a thought and hold it, mark your time.

---  there's my cue, says the real Ken Pepiton,
in text, actual current context of --
What is this…?
play, perhaps,
- feels like a movie- you know?

happening to be enabled by my augments,
to remember any fact I was ever given as a go-by.

Benchmarks in history, of your single point
for becoming anything at all,
relative to the edge
of my influx, swinging wide
ifitsnotitsgottabegnosisnotted, tangled
knots, tighten, right,
or loosen, if
depends, swings on a single strand that is you,
and nada mas, just
you… doer of all you ever do, before or after.

Now, so, as we think,
in mind, we exist,
at the moment, this instance of reality,
a thought I used to think of you, ready,
is behavior in progress,
be, I became holder of this thought by
having read the story I believe,
my leave, I let my story be true, I do not
lie to me, ethos. Point… from which an axion

extends… a sense of thick, frictionless time,
in a wind-like form, gnosisnot, you feel
you know, the flow is safe to let go,
-Jello-time slowing
think with logos as logos as that word
unfolds to essential first phase human maturity,
recalling names of things you named, as a child
learning the role of mankind in reality, growing
sharper, or brighter as age, demands,
understanding, and, in my culture, forewarning,
do not lean on any structure you build alone.

I have my being in that same story,
after my entrering in
to the realm
of walking upright,
I stepped
knowing some time since, giant
steps taken feel just like falling
- faith, fidelity its ownself
strong confidence in the depth intentionally
forcing re-deflection, cross winding threaded

thoughts fit in words, each word held either

sense, common or crazy, to any seer, in this medium,
connected to a mortal means for holding thoughts,

as no man can hold the wind in his fist,
so no lie can hold a truth known to make
it's knowers free…

so, what is free? At the moment, you. Free
to choose to
retry tracing conservation of energy, or
let it be, at innate literal action level letting loose,
open the sluice, let go the flood of ifery,
the way life ever was done,
is the way life ever is done.
As a mind thinks it is it is.
As a man, wombed or un, thinks at the core,
so it is, and only actual faith shifts from absurd,
to sublime, one step past proverbial simple…

if the sense in any word, holds mere, I know, right,
mere inspiration, a thought that feels real yessy,
no pain, easy to work with, ever onward leaning,
no dread hell to pay should I assume the reason,
I was made,
is peace, made by my say so, where none was,
where only I was,

bottom line, good for nothing I could think
of being
worth the effort
to guide through the meandering course
of human events, where all the power lies,
to hold back the flood, forecast by the redactors
of the literature, all we know, wordwise,
from the time
of the oldest texts, and most recent prophecies.

- aside, btw, sidetrack, all the oldest texts,
- sealed in eroded alluvial bubbles,
- you have seen the edges of the deserts,
- geological symmetry, same forces, same patterns
- -- Dead Sea Scrolls, found in once sealed amphora
during my mortal moments, those were deciphered.

- same aside, the tehkne we use allows, if we chose
- to learn to learn forever, no fear of never knowing all.
- The truth you know, frees to the limit of the sense it makes
- in post- all we all ever knew, loosed, in one generational
- laminate of spiritual images fitted in words for use,
- rote
- ritual liturgical dance, done in clouds of representative
- saintly prayers on the way through the void to the other
side… meandering streams of conscience, science, sfumata,
no lines, smoke-like streams of conscious -- awake, and attending

From on high the seer says, we saw when the poet wrote the tale
we tell it as we told it,
still,
few find the time or patience, to ponder, dams.

---------- Now, me, 74 and a half years old, today, by the way,

Younger me lives in all my once unaccounted for idle words,
rusting hulks of reasons for my shame,
all my reasons for war,
all my reasons for crafting confabulations, - another btw
I learned why preachers tell jokes, by paying attention
to one thing, one Sunday, for about a minute.

The Methodist Minister, in his Holy Garb, classic black
John Wesly style flowing robes of early modern academes…
advisory boards, seers, sayers and prognosticators…

Told of a preacher overhearing children staging a liar's contest,
the prize was a common box turtle. Why, heavens,
of course, the guided holy man, knew, I must give these lads
a lesson… so he peered over the plank fence, and ahemed them
to attention, "Boys, when I was your age, I never told lies."

Where upon the boy with the turtle handed it over,
all conceded none could tell a bigger lie.

Riverwise, meandering is how whole forests, and mountains,
have been carried to the sea. Ideal fluidity, presumes
we can think real complex things,
look at any protein, that’s a twisted process,
think that up, irreducible complexity of realification,
twists that twist as far as possible, constantly, taking shape
forces beyond the power
of water and rolling stone and flotsam, command,

a lip of the earth rises in a one-sided smile… things thought
riverwise, always,
in any religion,

accepting truth, is the way life takes us beyond our fear of death,
or possible acceptance of chains forged in guilds,
doctrinal congress, doxological orthogonal games, in the realm

of my reality, my century after the concept, the first gripping
hook, metaphor, hook-up, connextion, come along, hold on,

if you did inherit the wind,
would you find your self returning or going… from now on…
-- easy as untangling princess hair from a slept in tiara, first thing... real life Grandpa... sowing curios burrs found in my socks...
DM Pierce Dec 2012
I was alone, yesterday,
     When I began to dissolve.
It didn't hurt at all,
     Except in an abstract sort of way.


The mirror showed cold bone-
     Clean white where skin should be.
A crimson static filled our home,
     And an achy resonance filled me.


In my ocean of dissolution,
     Breaking down for absolution,
I cry not for me,
     but you;
For the burden of carrying not one heart,
     but two.


I felt so vivid as I bled to the sky.
          Scattered to brilliant blue stars, never to die,
I'll be the leaves that fall, the birds that fly by.
              In the next life, when we meet, we'll retry,
          And I'll be better, I promise,
     Because I love you,
          More than anything.
Nothing was your fault.





*Critiques are very much appreciated.

— The End —