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Jing Xi Lau Nov 2018
We're all dying to feel alive,
Are we the living dead?
We hate to love
But we fall in love anyway.
We wander just to get lost,
But we want to be found.
We spend our nights together,
But we feel more alone than ever.
We cover our ears,
Shout across horizons.
What's this sound?
Deafening silence.
Piercing through the noise of the world.
Em Aug 2018
I am wide awake in the cold deafening silence of the night
as my heartbeat murmurs your name.
My heart loves you in whispers that you will never hear.
~e.m
Astra Jul 2018
Haven’t written in a while,
The reason or reasons seem jumbled in my head,
I know what I want to say but I question if it wrong if I feel a certain way,

Lying in dread,
From these thoughts, I try to escape,
Lies I remind myself,
Feelings are lies,
Allowing yourself to hide is the greatest gift you could give,
Keep on tryin to believe you're alright,
But at night it’s like the light can’t even help

You’re fine,
There’s nothing wrong,
Well, nothing significant,

Roof over head,
Bread in tummy,
Plates to parents,
Air to heat,
Sheets to shoes,
All it is mind over matter,
As long as you don’t mind it won’t matter,

I mind,
Does my mind matter?
Do all the thoughts I think matter?
Is it wrong to feel what I feel?
Is it wrong to believe what I believe?
What’s right?
Why’d I stoping writing?
Why'd I try to silence myself?

Is it the thought that my voice is meant for silence,
That I should be the girl in crowded hallways who bears her soul inside the books, walking quietly,
Smiling at strangers, trying to remember no one sees the chaos in my brain,
That it’s all tall tales I tell myself,

So I’ll sit and type the feelings I feel,
Allowing the silence to fill the voids of speaking,
knowing I’ll be judged for them,
Believing my life is meant for more  keeps me going,
And one day showing the respect of a voice that just wants to feel heard,

Silence is deafening,
Let me know if you can hear it too?
All rights reserved
Autumn moves fast through the tunnel of love
Push from the top; bottom falls from above
The dangling leaves are flexing about
Dreaming of hope is a nightmarish shout

Cackle of ghouls; a shivering spine
And all that is due will be due in due time
Whispering wind softly kisses my cheek
Lifetime of searching; know not what I seek

Darkness emerges as light fades away
I tried to hold on knowing no one can stay
Feeling alive only once I am dead
Listen but don't hear a word that is said

The roar of a flame, the warmth of the light
Bright fireball streaks interrupting the night
From ashes we rose and to dust we return
A heart made of ice will not sooth what’s been burned

Holding my breath and not rising for air
I promise to no one the nothing I share
Hugging and squeezing a cuddly toy
A faded reminder when I was a boy

Roar of a racing car traveling fast
Linear stories that live in the past
An afternoon stroll through the paths in the woods
It wasn't enough when it’s all that I could

Didn't regret not regretting a thing
Perfectly still while I sit on the swing
Lazy and careless; the problem I tackle
Chained here forever without any shackles

Future and past presently now amuck
A free man who's also imprisoned and stuck
Roaring, the waves speaking softly to me
Shouting a message using secrecy

Cackling rooster call to end the day
Adult you become but your parents can't stay
The ending's begun and beginning ends near
Enveloped in fog; then it all became clear

Through stutter and stammer, I clearly can speak
The world’s strongest man; I am fearful and weak
Worldly observer, I travel through life
But don't leave my house; Live alone with no wife

A peacock, with confidence strutting my stuff
I have had my fill but not yet had enough
Nothing I fear but much fear have for it
Blowing out candles that never were lit

Bellowing cheers of "hip-hip hooray!"
Round of applauds for those who've died today
Most subtle of strikes from a blatant attack
A gift you are given; already took back

Slapped with audacity right in the face
Composed with the utmost politeness and grace
Without allergy, still my body reacts
While calmly I sit through a panic attack

Telling a lie until it becomes truth
Speaking with stature his words are uncouth
Deafening silence rang shots from the gun
Finished a race that has not yet begun

The "Rule" one time "Golden", now encased in rust
I did what was needed but not what I must
Can be anything but yet nothing you are
Traveling often but didn't go far

Properly set for no expectations
Biased perception began at creation
Feet on the ground and head in the clouds
Displayed and *****; I'm exposed in my shroud
Written - April 6, 2017

All rights reserved.
v V v Jul 2018
I have been to where
the lonely go, and I’ve
seen their luring towers,
calling those who
have no hope, who come
from far away to see

if coming was a mistake.

Will we ever know
who doesn’t go?
and what of those that go
but remain unknown?
Perhaps they go at night.

The horror of it.

To not be able to see the end
but still it comes and quickly.
A silent floating moment
in a winter of regret,
a springtime of longing,
a summer of sunshine,
Or a fall to the end

of the world in 7 seconds.

A super cosmic collider of
meticulous destruction.

Whether we stay or go
its all the same,
multi-layered levels of
brokenness,
no one is immune.
No one is immune.

Some spend time putting
things back together,
the spacing in the levels allows it.
Others break over and over
and over again,
no space for repair

while the pull of the towers,
the flaming red towers and
the fog rolling down
from the west promise silence.

When I stood at the edge and looked over,
the noise was deafening.

The ones without space
cannot hear.
Lizzy Apr 2014
Relapse and rewind
This happens every ******* time.
I've been neglecting the drugs,
The ones that were supposed to save me.

They only make it worse
Make me feel more crazy.
But when the time comes
Where my tide breaks
I cannot hold my ground.
The monsters come to me
With deafening sound.

Whispers from malevolent lips
Sound so sweet.
Like candy for my starving soul.
And soon I'm on that sugar high.

Rushing cherry red
It's got such a lovely flavor.
Feeds my hunger
Satisfies my thirst.

It won't be long
Before I'm back for more.
Ellie Jul 2018
she's an angel
but
her wings are wings of the devil
her smile is inspiring evil
her glare was piercing , furious
hiding behind a mask
lacking affection
seeking love
that broken little heart
that poor little girl
a deafening noise
a blinding light
rose her head
a warm perl ran through her cheek
a sarcastic curve on her face
kept walking
yet walking towards a wall
Lizzy Oct 2014
helping myself
with the help of some helpful voices
helping me live
to breathe with some assistance

fill my lungs
the taste of your air
will serve as a substitute
until i can stand again

fill my ears with deafening sound
swim in my veins and fix me
cure me of malaise
soothe my aching bones

help me help myself
help me help myself
help me help the lonely
help me help the ones like me
i went to self help fest last night. it was ******* perfect
The man in the middle quietly weeps as the deafening crescendo grows on…

Hoping by chance he’ll soon join the dance but knowing deep down, somehow, he is wrong?

The people who lead have more than they need insisting on evermore -till it’s gone.

And at the end of the day they’ll cry merrily and ***;

“What happened t’was a wonderful song?”
In all ancient Greek and Roman cities there was an altar in the center named, "Pity," where food, clothes and wears were left for those who had nothing.
Sara Kellie May 2018
And in the silence that's often deafening, I hear my heart that still beats.
Reminding me of more pain to come, disguised as truths we are their lies.
After all these years there's no surprise.
Whispered softly into your ears, we are the makers of salty tears.
One day your heart, cold, blue and torn will cease to beat, when death is born.
Life's light will fade for one last time, up through the clouds your soul will climb.
A breeze from the graveyard whispers death but that's ok, I hold its hand.
A smile in the dark I understand, the effort you've shown, this was all planned.
Congratulations to you, my life is through.
Tired, so tired. Wondering if I have the right number. Waiting for it to be called.
John White Nov 2018
I just want it to end.

The hopelessness, the fear,
the constant critic in my head:
I've lived with them all for too long.

All I've ever known is this war, this endless battle.
There's nothing wrong with wanting it to end.
To wish that it didn't is cruel.

But why can't the best solution be the simplest?
Why do I have to keep fighting?

At times it's deafening,
and I'm so exhausted.

Why can't I just lay down in no man's land
and let this battle fall silent around me?

Why can't that be the end?

Because... I'll never known what's possible.
Sometimes I get this sensation
as I take my bare feet
and place them
into tight enclosed shoes
to walk a cold grey
concrete path
still rigid to the shards of
   broken dreams
and promises
scattered along the middle,
the sounds of other people's footsteps
drown out my insecurities
and the
insignificance of
a person who feels small
as I try to grasp at merging
into the person full of
light and meaning
who has a spark in her eye,
     destined to do and make great changes
instead of falling into her own world
of isolation and despair
glancing around myself, wondering whether or not
I actually belong
I don't see my name on the board
with my peers
standing in the crowd,
waiting for the crosslight
to let me walk
walk with them to the other side, but
somewhere along the way
do I get lost
or am I just destined to walk
the wrong path
just so I could be with my peers
who are, of course,
the future
who will change the world
who will introduce a revelation that will change
the biased courses of humanity

but as for me

the deafening screams and words of
other people's
lives, moments, recollections
and livelihoods
cover up my hushed pathetic cries
and calls for help
as I question all that is taking place
in every which way I look
somewhere out there
a mom and her growing daughter
become closer
as my own mom falls apart on me
unknowingly ripping apart my right to establish
an identity of my own
somewhere out there
a dad can tell his children
about his life experiences
of the virtues and humility within that led to
their blessed ways of life now
as my own dad
who deserves, at least
everything the world has to give
works harder and harder every day
and every second
to continue our "blessed" ways of life now

but despite all of that

I am told No-- just focus on yourself
make sure you don't miss the crosswalk
make sure you make us proud--
but they don't see
they are what matters
when it comes to
a kid hoping to grow into a better person

there are colors;

some old and chipped
and falling apart,
on the frames of people's
subconscious
while fresh new colors shimmer
in the evening
starlight atop blue waters
just waiting to be discovered, like a
blind person experiencing sight for the first time

but how can I see the night stars
and fall in love with
the moon's beauty
when I'm too busy staring
at the sun
trying to make my way
up to the very top
running, taking jagged steps,
bent over all broken and
crawling

just hoping to be remembered

as a great sign of the times.
08/28/18

I'd be grateful if people lended me some warm words of kindness. I don't get enough to sustain me these days.
Chantelle Iles Aug 2018
My beloved Demon,
When did you become the intimate stranger,
That lay in the bed next to me every night
When we made love or tried to mask the hate it was more divided unity
In our troubled paradise we are alone.
Because my eyes were wide shut to your sincere lies

When did you become that romantic terrorist that left me feeling numb
Your ear splitting whispers of sweet torture left me in proud humility
And the deafening silence as you left
My worst enemy
Mark Grover Oct 2010
your untouched sheets are crisp and clean like a razor

your vacant pillow floats on the bed before me like an empty lifeboat

the absence of your breath is deafening

you left me Nothing and now it is all i have

i will cling to it
i will nurture it
i will feed it with what is left of me
until it grows strong enough to consume me

then i will be free of the Nothing you left to me
xcvii Sep 2015
if love is a language, we're speaking Pig Latin-
in the deafening silence of a box fan in your bedroom
******* in the dark, forgetting how your face looks
so intimate and close,
so far away.

i don't have it in me to love you,
and you wouldn't want your friends finding out,
so that just leaves the two of us
shaking your bed
for fifteen hot minutes
then diverging
to sleep on opposite sides.
Lizzy Oct 2016
Its back,
And I wish I could say
For one night only,
But the forecast shows
A messy week ahead of me.

Every day
The sun will burn bright
And a cool wind will
Bite my cheeks.

Every night
The sun will set
Like God dropped a bowling ball
And storm clouds
Will come rolling in.

The thunder will be deafening
With no lightning
To illuminate the blackness.
The rain will come in
Big, heavy drops
All at once.

No gradual crescendo.
No calming patter on rooftops.
Only a roar at my window
That will ****** me
To open it.

In the rumble
I can hear a whisper
Begging me to open
The floodgates and let the rain
Come rushing into my room.

Let it rise
Up the walls
Until I'm kissing the ceiling
Then sink to my bed,
Feeling content with my efforts.

I wrap the covers
Around me and lay my head down,
Passive to the water
Filling my lungs.
Comfortable in my
Burial at sea.

Don't worry though,
My room is still dry
And the window is closed.
But the latches are loose
And I'm not quick to repair.
Tash Mar 2016
I suffocate my voice
Slit the wrists of my words
Anxious to be spoken
All for the sake of peace

Through the silence
Words unspoken
Deafening defiance
Happiness stolen

Leaving my soul empty
Desolate, deserted
Shipwrecked at sea
My soul departed

All for the sake of peace
I let you hold the key
And ruined this masterpiece
That no one will ever see
Daisy Oct 2018
making sure you could hear me
was never the problem
the problem

was being listened to

i needed to think less about
whether i’m being too
troublesome

and start thinking more about
what i can do to be
influential

i was born to leave
a big crater wherever i stand
a sign that i am just as thundering as you

i construct my words
to be deafening
to make your ears ring and your eyes water

i was taught to make my ideas
the thoughts you **** after
the kind that are both confident and emphatic

because its always better to be
powerful

than to be
voiceless
I decided because this page started off with such a sad note, some positivity was in order
Fern Jul 2018
Even when your eyes are closed, the colours of the world surround you,
Your imagination keeps you awake.
Sounds, everywhere. The ticking of clocks, the drip of faucets;
It forces you to stay awake.
A flood of thoughts and memories come to your mind,
Turning each into monsters, clawing at your emotions.
The sound of them are overwhelming;
The colours splattered everywhere.

You decide to listen to some music, your favourite song,
the one you have listened to probably a hundred times this week.
You hit repeat because that's what would calm you,
Even though you’ve listened to it so many times you think your ears will bleed;
The sweet sounds an addiction.
You continue, to drown out the sounds your mind provides.
The constant, deafening yells of danger,
The vivid memories of all the times that you’ve failed.
The music gets louder to drown out the terrible sounds your mind provides,
To cover the **** colours in sweet melodies.
Kristaps Oct 2018
As the deafening begins,
     slowly my cells struck by Cupid
start to devour themselves and each other. Like famished bodies with only teeth, they mutilate and feast; A morbid pulsating blood tinted slime starts to form where my body used to lay.
A tingle and then sleep from my toes to my ears. The last vision
for my eyes,  shows how everything
    melts and slowly starts to glow, then they are gone too.
A speck of my consciousness screams, as in the hellish heat it evaporates, but
      oh, how warm it feels for everything else.
Oh
     how warm.
My heart, so horridly engulfed in flesh at first yearns to peel off, but then
in not even a  breath,
some last whisper soothes it to bed, and so it
floats in the embryonic lake

Of
       Love
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