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Pau Apr 9
my friend,
in the morning
the sun might not
reach your floors
but it will still shine
bright, and blazing
as it always will be.

and the flowers
might not bloom
in time to greet you
but they are growing
and growth takes time

and the coffee
might not be enough
to wake you
from your slumber
but it will belong
in the palms of your hands.

i cannot promise
that life will soften
at any point,
or that the world will be gentle
enough for you to live
without bleeding,

but i can promise
that if you keep breathing,
you stand the chance
to change the life you’re leading
into a future you can call home.
you deserve that life ahead of you.

and even if
you do it all alone
the world is made better
for harboring your heart

that loves all things
life has torn apart
and gives them the peace
they have been dying for.

you are the healing
that comes after the war,
the strength that helps
others rise from their knees.

you are the heartbeat
amidst the suffering,

the humanity itself,
amidst the stone.

it is you who opens the blinds
to let the sunlight in.

it is you who reminds the birds
that it is time to fly again.

and i am sorry,
we could not be the same for you.
Pau Apr 9
my friend,

if you were afraid
of dying alone

of having lived
without purpose

of staying
of leaving

without anyone
to recall your name,

rest easy, rest easy,
rest easy.

we will remember you,
i will remember you.
Pau Apr 7
in another life
we are in your heart
and you are whole
and you are home

and you recognize
the love everyone has for you
and you don't feel alone

and you do not break
where you stand

in another life,
you would not be the person
you thought you became

and the sound
of the names of your failures
does not bring you
to your knees.

they do not wound you
or make you bleed

they do not destroy
what we held so dearly.

in another life
you choose to stay

you do not disappear.
Pau Oct 2019
growing in my chest
a redness that swells
darling, how it flutters
around you, the remnants of a dream
singing as if I would never wake,
rose beating beneath the layers.
Pau Oct 2019
do you see how my love,
affection and attraction, bends to reach you?
like light,
a spectrum of attraction
from one body to another body
we are attached in some way,
always, across the distance.
i'm yours.
Pau Oct 2019
you kiss me the way nobody ever has before.
not without expecting something in return.
and here i am sick and runny-nosed and you love me anyway
you love me in a whole new way,
but it is honest,
you love me, hesitantly at first
and then you threw yourself into it,
and so did i.

and suddenly i am looking at the stars
through light polluted skies;
suddenly i am finding you in all my favorite songs
you are my favorite song
and my favourite eyes,
my favorite,
and you feel how i imagine what home feels like.
baby, i'm home.
Pau Oct 2019
i meant to say i love you first.

something within me flinched
at the very sound of your name
and suddenly,
everything came to life
all at once.

my love,
i was not prepared
for you.

i think my heart turned traitor
behind my ribs,
and all the phantoms and ghosts inside me
started calling
you home,

i became displaced
in my own bones.
it was as if i did not belong
to my skin,

but, maybe,
i could find peace again
if i was next to you.

life is different
with you in it,
the air is sweeter
to breathe.

i know i am not in such a hurry to leave
when your eyes meet mine.

i believe the universe realigned
to keep you at the center of it all
and oh, indeed,
i was helpless,
to stop my fall.

the rest of the world
seemed to fade away.

darling, i meant to tell you i love you first,
but it sounded a lot like
i'm yours.
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