"costed" poems
My mirror hangs stoic,
as silently it absorbs all it could with unbiased eyes.
All it receives under the day's sun.
Yet it never stores...
Not memories recent...
Not images perceived from the distant past...
My mirror
exists in the now.
It gives me only the present.
It reveals unequivocally the ground
upon which I stand.
It divulges only in the brutal and honest truth.
The kind of truth photographs could never tell.
Today it showed me what I've been seeing
with eyes half shut.
It showed me that,
I am older now.
Older than I was yesterday.
Older than I was a second ago.
Every wrinkle told a silent tale.
Every tale left quiet scars.
Every scar sang requiems of past mistakes.
And every mistake costed me my youth.
My mirror showed me that...
I'm older now because I've learnt much.
And I'm learning much more
because I'm older now.
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 11:15 AM UTC
They'll find me hanging upside-down.
Ankles bruised by the ropes
From which you strung me up for field dressing.
Lacerations where you’d cut my throat,
Bled me dry, spilt my guts,
And broke past my ribs, to uproot my heart.
Can they carbon date the remains of my reputation?
Trace the ****** back to your mouth?
Will they know the cause of death to be the
Malignant rumors you couldn’t help but spew?
Your false words: the final nail in my coffin.
Do you regret ever letting them past your lips?
Slowly, my reputation crippled by the aggressive
Cancer that was your embellished utterance.
And it didn’t bother you in the slightest.
You marveled at the sight of my struggle.
And amazing how these things seem to spread.
One caustic, contagious, breath from you was all it took.
Though the slanderous virus wouldn't make it 'til morning;
Addicts to their fix; gossips, crave your empty words.
Like ******* the rush is intense but brief.
Interest fleeting, they move on.
Off to the next peddler.
For all these inconveniences, I thank you.
Thank you for lifting the masks that curtained your distorted self.
How blind I must have been not to see it outright.
Another leech, feeding on slighted words.
And to think; all it costed you to buy in
Was me...
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 8:10 AM UTC
Numbing sends me crashing to pieces,
lungs fill up before I can scream,
light diminishes into darkness,
substance entered but refuses to release.
Colors now white flashes,
blood dips beneath my chest,
nobody's coming i have no contacts,
only my mothers ashes.
In my mind walls keep me bound,
with water soon to drown,
messed up broken needs a fix,
gotta break this glass so confound.
As water starts to over submerge,
a pulse breaks the glass setting me free,
opening my eyes these people standing before me,
weeping a funereal they all have to purge.
Still cannot speak but now can cry,
knowing people actually care,
never again shall I take a substance,
that costed me a near a goodbye.
For this next to me is a plug,
which might end up getting pulled,
even with my eyes open,
without movement they might just be misunderstood.
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 5:05 PM UTC
*Yellow people were everywhere....
their eyes were thin and their bodies were scrawny
A ********** strolled by me....
she promised me a good time
$200 for 1 hour
and $400 for 2
Oral costed extra....
A man was eating octopus
next to him, another man was eating a dog
he claimed it taste like chicken...
gravel kissed my feet,
and a M14 cuddle with my hands
a pack of Skittles snuggled in my pocket
some cigarettes and canteen full of whiskey
also accompanied me....
I smashed the leaves with black boots
and camouflage married the trees
A body stared at me
a star shaped hole through his head
two kids burned to ash,
and a wife with her throat slit laid next to him
No tears were shed.....
A Vietcong with his arms shot off
he coughed up blood...
he whispered, but the whisper was inaudible
I put a bullet through his chest...
No tears were shed....
a good friend of mine...
stepped on a landmine
his body went every which way
a arm went left
a torso went right
and his head went backwards...
No tears were shed....
My unit entered a abandoned building
they saw a young girl.... her clothes were ripped,
her screams echoed, five men took turns with her...
my M14, loaded, five bullets, silence
and a pool of blood.....
no tears were shed...*
Jan 17, 2016
Jan 17, 2016 at 8:46 PM UTC
The movie speaks
In silence screams
That encapsulates the feeling of the moment.
A black and white
Scene plays out
And I see the sorrow pour.
The reflection of the many lives that costed during
The era
Reflects on the black and white dots
That move around on my screen.
Wilhelm.
******
Mussolini.
Gallipoli.
The Somme.
It's funny how they don't speak
But the black and white dots that
Dance
And flickers on my screen,
Tells the unfortunate story
Of the contextual history
That lies behind,
The black and white dots that
Strafes on my screen.
Jan 27, 2017
Jan 27, 2017 at 3:14 PM UTC
There’s the death waiting to pounce over,
Only left is the aftermath of the tides left over.
She lay isolated far away from mankind,
She was the loving and dedicated nurse of a kind.
A deadly virus had spread the blanket over her.
Probably her inner conscience spoke of,
The limited time left with her,
Battling the Nipah virus will be soon over.
She committed herself to the thankless profession.
Had she not nursed the deadly virus affected patient,
Perhaps she would have been alive here today.
Too late, she realized that the same had taken
Over the life of her patient.
She felt saddened yet unknown to her was,
The virus had already infected her blood.
She never knew it would be her turn to bid bye.
Just a day ago she had fever,
Yet ignoring her health she continued her work.
Finally, her health started deteriorating,
So she got admitted in the same hospital.
She found herself in an isolated ward,
Which made her realize she too contracted the same.
Her husband has been just a wall away.
Though she wanted to see him and her little children.
But thinking of their security she paused there for moments.
She knew her fate was holding her hand to death.
Then she scribbled just few words for her beloved at the last!
Only we can pray today is “May her soul Rest In Peace!”
All Rights Reserved!
The young dedicated Indian nurse Lini Puthussery from Kerala needed to be applauded, awarded for her selfless service which costed her dear life while treating Nipah virus affected patient. She was attached to Perambara’s Tukul hospital
in Kozhikode, Calicut. We appreciate the young woman’s dedication to her thankless profession.
The Nipah virus infection, spread mainly by fruit bats and has symptoms like breathing trouble, brain swelling, fever, headache, drowsiness, disorientation and delirium. A patient can fall into coma within 48 hours. It travels through direct contact with a patient. There is no vaccine for Nipha virus yet, as per World Health Organization.
Courtesy Google!
May 28, 2018
May 28, 2018 at 8:38 AM UTC
*21 November 2012 *
We see it fallin' down like an old tower
Took it for granted, all b'yond our power
We never saved it, thought t’was b'yond repair
But the next things took us unprepared
I want to begin again, despite the worry
By sayin', I’m wholeheartedly sorry
For bein’ so coward and disdain
I know it costed you so much pain
I want to begin again, as long as it takes
By acknowledgin' these simple mistakes
And hope you’d forgive 'n' forget
These faults are mine alone to regret
I want to begin again, after all
Like the first time we met last Fall
T’was fated, but still feels surreal
T’is heart— hope will mend ‘n’ heal
I want to begin again, like this
When we have no one to diss
Like the last time we met in the house
When all the anger ‘n’ aches arouse
I want to begin again, without a clue
By bein' honest, simple, and true
B’cause they don’t know about us
Our nightmares turn from dreams to dusts
My lips tell it’s no joke to me
Take a look into my eyes and you’ll see
Can we do it all over again, minus the pain?
B’cause I just want us to begin again
Jul 4, 2015
Jul 4, 2015 at 11:54 AM UTC
How can I forget
Thou art the apple of mine eye
But live to regret
We're but apples and oranges
How can I forget
That night, that day
But live to regret
A smiling lie danced my way
How can I forget
Thou art a lass so braw
But live to regret
There broke a drunken brawl
How can I forget
Such a twisted malady
But live to regret
For it costed my lady
©Kikodinho Alexandros
30th August 2016
Aug 30, 2016
Aug 30, 2016 at 11:04 AM UTC
She hung by a thread to her sanity
Constantly staring in the mirror she realized her vanity
But if what they call her is "vain"
Then there must be more than one definition to that name
Because her sense of self is "skewed" and "inaccurate"
But to her it's all she knows and she's quite aspirant
Ready for change and to be a new version of herself
Hardly caring about her deteriorating health
Walking into the health club already exhausted
Not understanding how much it has costed
Not with money or credit but with physical wellbeing
Not heeding her body's warnings or in the mirror seeing
Her hair is thin and no longer growing in places
She compares her pale skin to the other people's faces
She puts two fingers down her throat in the hope to purge up a candy bar
Convinced her calorie count was taken too far
Her nails chip far too easy
And the thought of eating makes her queezy
Yet the stress encompassing her life pushes her to binge
Hundreds into thousands the floodgates unhinge
Never for sustenance, always for taste
Each and every calorie is a ginormous waste
She collapsed on the Stairmill and in embarrassment and rage
Exited the gym floor as though it were left-center stage
With poise and a smile she laughed as they stared
She grabbed all her gear and left as they glared
When she got to the car she was nothing but angry
Pushing too hard her body sat blankly
Breathing was difficult and by speaking she was pained
Every ounce of her life force felt utterly drained
Her skin can no longer take the lack of nutrition
And her eyes are wavering as she tries to focus her vision
She used to be a student with straight A intent
But all she can think about is the next meal and its scent
Forgetting the most basic things about her day
She forgets how to write and takes a derivative the wrong way
People look puzzled as she waves off their concerns
While in her stomach and throat a deep hunger burns
She stares once again at her monstrous reflection
Grabbing and poking at her bulging midsection
Now huddled on the ground she stares at the ceiling
Entering a loose dreamy feeling
On the brink of unconsciousness she extends her hand skyward
Only then realizing that down to her soul she is tired
May 1, 2018
May 1, 2018 at 12:51 AM UTC
i might have dodged a bullet
but that dodge costed me my life
Sep 9, 2023
Sep 9, 2023 at 8:06 AM UTC
Mommy left when I was young
But daddy never cared
And I don't know what's worse of the two evils
Because daddy let my skin bloom in violet stains
But mommy...well I guess mommy was mentally deranged
I learned from a young age
That I'm the only one I got
So if you thought
I needed you
I don't because I've fought
For my spot
With everything that I got
And you're not the only one who's lies I bought
But I've learned
Trust is earned
And I'll never give it away again
countless times I've been burned
I'm exhausted
From everything it's costed
I'm done
You've won
Mar 15, 2017
Mar 15, 2017 at 12:22 PM UTC
i don't remember much about you
i grew to forget how your face looks
or what i was attractive to
i don't remember much about anything about sixth grade
i try to not remember anything about sixth grade
but i remember
december being colder because of you
crying on christmas because of you
my mom driving me to my first therapy season because of you
the heartbreak i caused because of you
the friends i lost because of you
the people i have hurt because of you
the hurt endured because of you
how everything hurts because of you
you don’t know the hurt
you never and will never know the hurt
you don’t even remember me
that is so unfair
you get to hurt and break and wreak me but
you get to forget me
forget how you touched me for the first time
forget how subtle you made it seem
forget how many times
forget how you took advantage of me
i wish i could forget that i loved you
i loved you
i once loved you
but how could that be
how could you love the person
who took advantage of you?
how could you be so naive?
how could you be so stupid?
but i was twelve
how couldn’t i have been that stupid and nieve when i was twelve
i wasn’t even educated on what they were doing until i was a month shy of thirteen
therefore a twelve-year-old couldn’t have gone through that
therefore it is not real
therefore i lied
and so you continue
yet, i
i said stop
i said stop to you
i said i love you
but you should have of stopped.
you never stopped.
please stop.
then when you finally left
you did not take every piece of her
you left her hands
cold
freezing
winter
decemeber
hands
on my body
in my mind
and
i was left with the mess you made
the mess of everything you never and will never know about
and everything i am stuck remembering
the night my parents found me
you will never know why i was absent
you will never know the pain you've caused
the mess you have made
but i cleaned it up
by myself
because the people who could have stopped it
decided it was not real
it was not real
it
was
not
real
i wish you were not real
i am angry about what you did
and how you don’t even remember sixth grade
and how i am stuck with the aftermath
days, months, years, after
i don’t remember who i once fell in love with
or what i was attractive to
but i remember your touch
and the anger
the sadness,
the long-winded depression,
the loneliness,
the feeling of being useless
and unworthy
and the attempts,
and the pills,
and the scars,
and everything
but mostly, i wish i could remember you like the way you don’t remember the hurt, the break, and the wreckage you caused me.
- to you, in hopes you one day understand the pain i felt and the ghost that will never leave because of the sadness you have caused me
Dec 9, 2017
Dec 9, 2017 at 10:33 PM UTC
I don’t care
About your perception of my
Saccharin sentimentality
But I know
That on the day
That humanity kills the last Tiger
That the beauty in the world
Will have gone
Our science-fiction
Will start to be fact
And magnificence
Will be only ours to create
Melancholy though it will be
If we are to be Gods
And make this world our concrete
Functional costed playground
Then the poetry will need
to be **** good
The music
Better
And we will need to
Reconnect with something
That will make it all
bearable
forgiveable
and worthwhile
Apr 5, 2013
Apr 5, 2013 at 9:23 AM UTC
"you loved me for a year
I might not have known it, but you loved me.
We would talk and talk for hours,
Hold our breath until we could see each other
Over skype of course, but see each other
Nontheless.
Then you did something stupid. You made mistakes.
Painful mistakes. Mistakes that costed trust.
I got angry, I laid into you with words that cut you deep, but I didn't care.
If I did, I didn't show you.
You tried so hard to make it right. You said you'd do anything,
Anything for me.
I still turned up my nose.
You pleaded and begged, you wanted so bad to fix what we had
But still I refused.
And I keep refusing."
You, after so long of thinking yourself the victim,
Have become aggressor.
Jul 7, 2013
Jul 7, 2013 at 6:43 PM UTC
What a fool
I knew it then and there
I could feel it through your lips
I herd it in your stagnant heart beat
While mine pounded away
filling the room to the top
I had been resisting so long
I am only human
I couldn’t push your hands away
I put them on me
Because your mind had already been there
I won’t know the full worth till I see your face again
If I get that same look out of you then I’ll know
I’ll know what that really costed me
Was it worth it
I use to think so
Till now
Aug 27, 2010
Aug 27, 2010 at 9:57 PM UTC
Cut and sold, costed and old,
touch never sweetened,
touch never to bare.
Painted reactions ran fickle of significance,
painted sorrows resented to vain and blank stares.
Proceed, proceed, my dear,
the wrong is never as it seems in an affair;
never black, blue, nor purple.
But proceed to the concealed air,
but proceed to the loss of a prevailing simper.
Purely flee from such unsuspected,
where the finding of such dear had disappeared.
Feb 2, 2014
Feb 2, 2014 at 12:18 PM UTC
Tell me, little brother of mine
How can I repay you?
All the things I stole
I can’t give it back at all
How can I make you forgive?
All the sins I made
Didn’t just cause you grief
But also wasted your breath
How could I make amend?
When everything's will never fall into place
What costed was your dear life
No matter what I couldn't return back
Tell me, what should I do?
Mother’s death cursed us two
And in vain I also drag you
I'm sorry your brother is a fool
*Oh dearest mother so sweet
When you're gone we'd been incomplete
Back to the years we are one
Now we're divided and nothing can be done*
Don't cry my big brother
Neither you nor I were innocent
Shed in blood our past is
Both of us are to be blamed
Clinging to that desire
Both of us took that crooked path
And fell to the hell we made
Since that day we are dead
That sin of yours is a sin of mine
We can't erase the things we did
But the future, we can still change
Isn't it right brother?
*Oh dearest mother so sweet
When you're gone we'd been incomplete
Back to the years we are one
Now we're divided and nothing can be done*
To where will we go?
When there's no place we belong to
Walking to the thorny path
Our shoulders feels so heavy
Blinded by that old dream
What was lost is forever gone
Can we ever go back to those times?
Mother we're sorry
We may not be whole
But two is always better than one
So let's start to forget and forgive
Even the past couldn't be fixed
All we had to do is to live
Sep 19, 2017
Sep 19, 2017 at 6:27 AM UTC
We confidently dove into the blue river-
The two of us, swimmers at heart.
It didn’t matter that sometimes we shivered,
We never wanted to be apart.
Now you say there’s too much of a current.
But... you told me before, that you were a swimmer.
What you said to me that those other girls weren’t,
You said that I was. I was your winner.
So you ask to let go; you say you’re exhausted
And you want the current to take you away.
But I am afraid- what has this costed?
Will going with the river cause us to decay?
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 10:14 PM UTC
A dreary night of inferno--1941
noises of bullets and hand grenades came flying as one.
The moon lit nearing midnight,
of course it's the time of freight.
I found myself anxiously descending the wooden staircase,
I feel my brows dampen as my heart race.
Taking one last step from this wooden step,
to the numbing cold of the cement.
I knew someone there sensed,
my weary-vulnerable presence.
Then came a spine-chilling radio-crack,
"Abort, abort!" it said with a manic crack.
There and there I heard of nothing,
but hurried footsteps as it sounds escaping.
A long second passed silence ruled then followed the sky,
dropping frenzied screech in my ear like a wandering fly.
All in the darkness came white and last of me remember,
neighboring plank woods, and rooftops are in ashes from an ember.
I knew then and there in my slumber,
that war is over.
Times passed I knew after all my eyes were blinded,
by a droplet of explosion which costed me a life-time incapacitated.
I thought with all-hell surpassed I have finally met freedom,
yet still I died sitting in this dark park of boredom.
There on my last anxious sighs seated blindly on a warm wooden bench,
beside a cold-cemented statue of a false hero drenched.
Nearing midnight I knew I heard in my mind,
Uttering a hungry cry saying that "war is blind!"
Apr 9, 2016
Apr 9, 2016 at 5:20 AM UTC
In the baking heat & undefeated.
There in the pouring rain.
Frozen in the ice without shame.
Winter brings an eery chill.
Summer has free will.
Spring you hear angels sing.
Autumn is where flowers bloom.
Fall is dead leaves near tombs.
A life is not yours to take.
A crime is what that would be at stake.
In more ways than one he destroyed my life.
It costed alot & I will never get over it.
Shattered pieces bit by bit.
I will carry it the rest of my life.
You can decide some to create.
Babies are easy to make.
The trees conceal karma's possum.
What causes a shade of black & blue.
Anything the wind blows on your doorstep & there it blew.
Poison in the stew.
If only death of his could save you.
Don't know what your going to do.
Sometimes it takes not one but two.
An unknown hero would be who?
Unseen danger affects more than a few.
Not very many people knew.
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 12:47 PM UTC
-
'went to a Store -- looking for Morals;
sorting through Books -- looking at Stories.
the
more i would Look -- the more i was Lost;
lost in a Book -- a book without a Cause...
i
bought it off the Devil -- read it in Awe...
...all of its Flaws -- costed a Sum.
.
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014 at 3:39 PM UTC
Pearly white against a black backdrop.
Glossy cars on broken tar.
You're laughing away, children at play.
You wish your rent costed as little as your drink.
But you're still
smiling.
As the big man files out a grand,
You drop a bills underhand.
Your hype phone rings
Your mother is calling.
Saying that if you're done pretending
Look around at what you should be mending.
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018 at 7:55 PM UTC
I wrap myself in sizes too big because that’s how I see myself.
For surely if they see me this big,
When I reveal my true self it won’t be as bad.
I smother my hips, stomach, shape because
I can’t get past the fact that I hate myself.
Looking in the mirror makes me cringe.
That’s what I look like?
Why can’t I wear cloths in my size?
Why am I afraid to go into changing rooms?
It makes me want to scream when I walk away from a store, that my friends, sister, mother bring me into, so I can find my style.
I will stick with this t-shirt that costed a dollar.
They think it’s easy for me to walk away.
They believe I am being over dramatic.
But I can’t walk into a changing room without worrying if I really fit into anything.
I don’t want to disappoint them when it turns out I’m too fat.
Even if I do fit…
My skin feels like it’s showing too much.
“Watch out for those massive arms dot.”
Right. Thank you.
When will I love myself again?
Writing this made me feel semigood again.
With prom coming up and all my friends wanting to look for dresses,
I am terrified.
Petrified.
Mortified.
Horrified.
Every word that ends with “-fied!”
I will not cry in another changing room.
I will not cry.
I will.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 11:33 PM UTC
You were (are) my best friend,
I really thought it was us (you and I) till the end,
You knew (know) what goes on in my head.
You cared (care?) when I was happy or sad,
I could never (ever) remain mad.
You know, something terrible has occurred,
I'm not (you are) the one getting lectured.
You called (please call!) me your angel and your everything.
....I'm too afraid to try and do a thing...
You don't talk to me and whenever I actually try,
I often end up surrounded by strangers (not you) as I cry.
You look tired and exhausted,
I set up that stupid chat room and look what it costed.
You're seeming able to walk and talk without any pain,
I have lost my everything, with nothing to gain.
You probably don't miss me,
I'm glad you're (finally!) free.
You no longer have to constantly reassure (love) this one.
I just can't seem to get over you and be done.
You were (are?) protective and sweet,
I don't if Im glad (sad?) we did meet.
You were my most peaceful balm but now the most painful thing,
I doubt I'll ever see those eyes light up with that special 'bing'.
Your meaningful (less?) silence is killing me,
I don't want to take the signs and just let you be.
Your lack of works is telling me to just stop already and go,
I'm screaming (not that you can hear) no, no, no.
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015 at 10:08 AM UTC