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We started out as lust,
and quickly grew from there.

Now everything is different.
What we have is rare.

My fingers lingered a little longer
on the soft lines of your face.

Your kisses went a little deeper;
it was no longer a race.

Your embrace feels a little stronger.
None of this was planned.

My heart beats a little louder
the closer to me you stand.

It hasn’t been very long,
yet I know this is true:
without you, it feels wrong,
and I’m in love with you.
Sometimes you look at me
And bite your lip
You grab my leg
And tighten your grip

You tell me I'm beautiful
You say I make you happy
It feels me with warmth
To know how you feel about me


Sometimes you won't look at me
You turn me away
I don't understand
Why you don't want me to stay

You tell me to ****** off
You say you don't want
Anyone to know about us
It's almost a taunt.

I don't understand
How you go from
Enamoured and captivated
To distant and uninterested

I would like nothing more
Than to heal your heart
From the pain within
And offer you a fresh start

Why can't it be you and I?
Who cares who knows
Because, even though I've tried
I can't let you go
The air was hazy
from the smoke machine on the balcony.

My heart was pounding
but it wasn't from the music.
It was your fingertips,
grabbing hungrily at my hips.
I was to weak to speak.
You couldn't hear me anyway

I could feel you,
your body pressed against mine.
We moved in time, but not with the music,
to the rhythm of our hearts.
It was a start.
My hands moved up your chest and your intake of breath
left me breathless, and I realized I was digging in claws
but I was desperate to be closer to you.

My fingertips brushed your cheeks on the way to your neck,
I needed to pull you closer somehow.
What we had wasn't enough
but your smile made me feel like I was.
Like I was the only person in the room,
crowded full of people,
that you saw.

I pulled myself away, and pressed my back to you
I wanted you to explore, I wanted it even more.
But it was what I could hear that made it clear you were hungry
A sharp bite on my ear pulled me from my trance
then plunged me deeper
I was eager to keep you here, so I tilted my head, awaiting your breath on my neck

“Behave” you growled.
I felt like pushing it, pushing you, to see how far you would go.
You didn't let go. Neither did I.
We didn't care.
All I wanted in that moment was you.

I still do.
Poseidon's steeds rise from the ocean
silhouetted against the twinkling lights of an English village

They kick out at the sea,
making their presence heard.
Like the rumbling of a million bees,
it's hard to see,
but when you do they are magnificent.
Pawing the ocean,
stirring the current,
they rise above the rocks.
I look at the clock.
The horses are bringing in the tide
I might get stuck between the beach
and the thundering of hooves,
but I don't move.
I am still
while the ocean is in turmoil.
I toil.
Shall I retreat?
Shall I wait in defeat?
The horses call my name
offering a ride
to where?
I couldn't say but I kind of want to try.
I walk closer to the edge;
thank god it's not a ledge
or I'd never jump.

An arm wraps around me,
pulling me away.
But I feel the ocean, it wants me back.
His warmth wraps around me
and it puts me back on track.
I forgot I was cold.
I didn't mean to be so bold,
as to walk into his kingdom
and see the great unknown.

I'm resigned to this life,
walking among mortals.
After all it's not so bad,
when you have someone
that keeps you sane when you feel sad.
My mind wanders to dark matters.
The mountains against a fading blue sky have a silky silhouette.
The last light of day staining the clouds orange and pink as a last resort.
The twinkle of a small welsh village nestled in a darkened valley, the lights like stars that have fallen and were trapped, forever to suffer humanity.
It is in this peaceful darkness that my mind wanders.
To dark matters.
To a man with skin so sunkissed, I dare say they are lovers.
To a life that is wild and unrestrained.
To a different life.
The cold creeps into my fingers;
it lingers and I shiver.

The ice pushes into my core;
I adore the sensation.

I can't feel my face,
or my toes, or my hands.
I don't understand why... skin prickles,
the cold tickles,
as it moves in ripples.

It feels good.
This feeling.
I feel alive,
I can thrive.

The cold seems just that,
but it's old and familiar.
Like a friend
here to mend
the heat of pretend.
I have always been cold, and the cold is my friend.
A thousand words I've written.
None of them seem right.

A thousand feelings bottled inside.
None of them are ok.

A thousand ways I've thought of you.
None of them I can act on.

A thousand things I want to say to you.
None of them leave my lips.

A thousand times I've told myself no.
None of those times I've ever stopped.
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