I see the picture, but
the sound's not playing
I see your lips move, but
don't hear what you're saying

because I'm not here

I'm over there,
somewhere,
sitting in a chair,
in a meadow
watching the weeds grow

I'm up there,
in that tree,
with only my company

I'm down here,
in this cave
with only myself
to save

I watch the picture
but there's still no sound
I watch you mouth for words
but none comes out

drawn to the light like a moth to the flame
my body's spent, but not my brain
this herb has got me too relaxed
I think I'll have a cigarette

don't wait to donate
your soul needs good insurance
for what is to come

gotta light the spark
let it burn and fade away
unlearn a few things

make great people, but
people make terrible dogs
...and stuff such as that

Another day, another ache
my mind is just a total blank
I punch these keys, to no avail
but won’t allow myself to fail
I feel so useless, feel so dumb
I struggle, but the words won’t come
a waste of space, a waste of time
I lost that spark I had inside

I used to have so much to write
sometimes it’d keep me up at night
now where it was, there’s just an ache
my mind is still a total blank
still punching keys, to no avail
another try, another fail
I’m such a failure, i’m so dumb
these ******* words won’t seem to come

a waste of time, a waste of space
my failure stares me in the face
or maybe at another time
I can put something in these lines
or maybe some good tunes would help
no, i’m just lying to myself
I lost that spark I had inside
my life is just a waste of time

berate me, try to break me
bring my name through the dirt
try to find me, I'll refine me
and define my worth

now yesterday's gone
and I'm not so strong
and I'm feeling the pain,
but it's all okay

I might feel just like I hit a truck
I'm kinda slow, it kinda *****
but little difference does it make
might bend, but I will never break

so hate me, try to break me
try to drag me through the dirt
if you wanna try, come find me
I'll define your worth

I'lL hAvE
nO mOrE
iN tHe MoRnInG,
bUt I'm NoT
gOnNa SleEp
TiL iT's GoNe

have you ever heard it?

shallow,

rapid,

weak

have you ever felt it?

fleeting,

rattling,

in the chest

have you ever seen it?

nodding,

into the blankness

of the void

no

pulse,

so life-less, yet,

oddly,

peaceful

nothing you can do
'cos when I touch myself, I
always think of you

this ****'s not funny
I'm down to 4 cigarettes
and 0 money

Apocalypse!
impending doom!
don't save your cash!
it's coming fast!

consume!
consume!
consume!

for reminding me
that no matter what happens,
I am always loved

"that's not good for you"
I protested, as I puffed
on my cigarette

this she insisted
my tongue lashed, her legs quivered
but then, she farted

where I am right now
is where I am meant to be
I'm firmly rooted

people come and go
leaving impressions behind
but does it matter?

everywhere I go
every single thing I do
she's right there with me

we just kept going
but the only thing I reached
was soreness and sweat

your passion erupts
the neighbors all know my name
I'll flip the mattress

feel the power surge come through my feet
as my body sways to an unheard beat
was feeling drained, forgot to charge it
something popped and someone farted

I lash my tongue at your fixation
bittersweet intoxication
all over my face and stuff
I'll tell you when I've had enough

*    
          *
there's something hanging in the air
it caught my senses unaware
you slip your way out of the room
something must've died in you

it's comfortable
fits like my favorite boots
I'll make you smell them

there's plenty of fish
but this one right here, is mine
don't f*ck with my fish

like a good wood stove
if you can keep the fire lit
you'll always be warm

a buffet table
endless combinations
but I'm not hungry

is a cigarette
and I'm naked in the dark
looking for a light

spark*
t h e
f
l
a
m
e

and

i                                      
n                              
h                      
a            
l      
e
the essence

e   x   p   e   l

a l l    t o x i n s
a n d   t h a t   w h i c h
n o   l o n g e r
s e r v e s   y o u

with a heart, there’s desire

where a want, there’s a need

there may be a tomorrow

it’s not guaranteed

where you don’t take a chance

then I’m sure you have failed

such is our lives

and what they entail

you’re sure to encounter

it’s well understood

but why not try something?

as “can’t” never could

endorphins flood
my nervous system
your pupils dilate,
body glistens

your chemistry
I love the smell
I'm hooked again
with each inhale

the stars that linger
in your eyes
have me enthralled
I'm hypnotized

your sultry voice
the way it flows
excites in ways
you'll never know

but out of all
these wondrous things
I really love
the way you taste

a flavor I cannot
describe
it doesn't matter
how I try

except to say,
that it's divine
and every single drop
is mine

in the now,
my feet are planted
so I don’t take my time for granted

I breathe new life
as my expression
and passions have been resurrected

so energized
restored, I sit
my inner fire has been lit

and in my heart,
the fires rage
expelling darkness in my way

now vibrations
in my throat
are of a much more pleasing tone

an open doorway
to my mind
now calmly rests between my eyes

and straight from source
a light shines down
it’s energies into my crown

all systems go
transfer complete
now I can take on anything

I am at peace
I can finally say
there’s no more storm clouds
bound my way
my body’s sore,
my muscles ache
but I’m stronger now
than yesterday

an easy life
I’ll never find
but that’s okay
no, nevermind
it does no good
to ***** and whine
just take my days
one at a time

I’m getting stronger
every day
my muscles sore,
my body aches
but I’m prepared,
let come what may
I am complete, now
I can say

I fill my head with emptiness
myself to help me empty this
just so, although the words come out,
the picture’s only static now

I light this flame to dim the spark
that makes this monochrome seem dark
and add some color to the days
that shimmer as they dissipate


where’s my phone?

I
don't know
about that turkey
and that
ham is if-y, but
hell yeah, I'll have
a couple of those rolls
and those
mashed potatoes look kinda
decent

I
had
all these
plans
for today
but
after I took
a few tokes
of that
Christmas Tree
I can’t do ****,
except lay here
and feel the vibrations
from all the traffic
on Old 60

I wake up every morning
and try to be fruitful
do something, say something
try to be useful
but I realize at the end of the day
that I’m just filling time
with these meaningless things

I play games,
I write things,
exercise,
get some sleep

feel the burn,
toss and turn,
then I rinse and repeat

and if, for some reason
I didn’t get up
then it’d all be the same
‘cos no one gives a ****

my love says I need help,
and that ****** me off
‘cos I know there’s no pill
that can make this all stop

when you have no desire
too tired to live
those antidepressants
aren’t gonna do ****

into my head, these thoughts still creep
the sun shines far too bright to sleep
so here I lie, in our Queen-sized bed
as Shadow rests beside my head

a small, black pup
that is her name
she helps me smile
through my pain
she’s with me
everywhere I go
that’s how she got her name,
you know


through speakers Indie music blares
to hide me from the world downstairs
sometimes it helps, I don’t know why
to keep from feeling dead inside

a guilty pleasure that I’ve found
I play with no one else around
when I need time, I need some help
but need to do it by myself

I failed my attempt at a routine  today
I struggled to sleep and I got up too late
but at least I worked out, got my muscles warmed up
still, I never feel like I did quite enough

then I ate some oatmeal, just a half of a cup
but since I got it down, now it’s trying to come up
now my girlfriend is grumpy, don’t know what to do
‘cos she ran out of smokes, so I failed at that, too

I really don’t know where I’ll come up with cash
it’s not like I can pull a few bucks out my ***
so I guess I’m just ******, not a thing I can do
I’m so over today, I want it to be through

twenty one frets
for my six stretched strings
I learned the words to covers,
but I never learned to sing

but when I’m sitting in my room
my hands on my guitar
my heart beats like a metronome
and I feel like a star

I toss and turn as things I’ve said
play on repeat inside my head
and feel the burning sting of shame
that shows no signs of going away

these past few days I’ve been a *****
to think about it makes me sick
instead of showing gratitude
I’ve had a ****** attitude

I don’t know how I could forget
that lately I have been so blessed
most every night, I fall asleep
beside someone who cares for me

and every morning, I wake up
she makes a *** and brings a cup
and she reminds me with a smile
that she’ll be there for quite awhile

in life, I never thought I’d have
somebody that could love like that
she truly treats me like a King
I don’t do much of anything

I have to show my gratitude
and change my ****** attitude
I have to treat her like the Queen
that she has always been to me

howling, screeching, slinging poo
the monkey's me, the monkey's you
regurgitation, repetition
it seems to be how we're conditioned

I don’t want to do this
I just want to hide,
just curl up in a ball
while I wait here to die
I don’t know what to say
when you ask me what’s wrong
I wish I could tell you
but I’m just not that strong

the truth is, that
I just don’t feel like living
in a world so judgemental,
so cold, unforgiving
I give it my all
all this world does is take
and it still makes no difference
It’s always the same

I could just disappear
and no one would lose sleep
there’d be someone there
in my place in a week
I just don’t want to do this
I just want to hide
I’m curled up in the darkness
just waiting to die

I used to find the subject scary
but now I plan on getting married
but it’s not such a big deal, now
the day we met, we sealed our vows

her hand in mine was all it took
before I knew it, I was hooked
we’re such a perfect fit, besides
already licked it, so it’s mine